TFLN

[shocksock]

fashionably late

Comments

[assign]

It was the tequila that got you, Icarus.

[speechwriter]

Well, you know the saying. Never mix grain and grappa and aguave. I mean I didn't earlier. I forgot. And now I wish somebody would come along and scoop my brain out with a teaspoon.

[assign]

Hm. Not a saying. Have any Alka-Seltzer handy?

[speechwriter]

Yeah but if it was a saying I maybe wouldn't be where I am right now.

Which is under a coffee table in my living room. Where there are no Alka-Seltzers. To take advantage of.

[assign]

Say please, Sam.

[speechwriter]

If I say please, you'll really scoop my brain out with a teaspoon? Fox, I'm touched.

[assign]

Sounds like fun!
I'll bring you some help. I, surprisingly, have that kind of time.

[speechwriter]

Course you have the time. We're both intent and driven agents of government out to better people's lives — and it's Saturday so we can take a break from that load of horse hockey.

I'm going to remember this and then likewise in your own hour of need, you have my...pen? Briefcase? Tolkien didn't really set up for anything in my skillset.

[assign]

Mhmm. I'll get you cured. Fixed up. In return, you can send me a Christmas card. No matter the month. Tolkien would send it in December, though.

[speechwriter]

That's because Tolkien would take until December to write about the frost on the trees and the process of photosynthesis and the texture of the bark and hey, see that one squirrel running around with an acorn? Let me tell you about his genealogy to the ninth generation. Me? Not to brag or anything but I can whip up five pages of gobbledygook driving to a venue and still get a standing ovation.

Then again, Tolkien might not have mixed in that tequila so who knows who the better man would be.

[assign]

You might really need that teaspoon.

[speechwriter]

...fair point.

I'm just saying in a fight, I think I could take Tolkien. Maybe not in his prime since he was in trenches but prose-wise? No contest.

[assign]

That liquor really hasn't soaked up, has it?

[speechwriter]

In the liquor's defense, there was an awful lot of it.

[assign]

Not all who overdrink on those rare tequila nights are lost, Sam.

[speechwriter]

No, they just wail in anguish like a first round cut from Euripedes' casting call. Which is what will happen when this finally wears off and I face the harsh light of day.

[assign]

[ someone almost feels bad for laughing. ]

You're going to be great.

[speechwriter]

[ tip your waitresses!!! except the one who served him all this crap that...he ordered. like an adult. a stupid, stupid adult. ]

At the wailing? You betcha.

[assign]

At the words, Icarus.

[ stupid. ]

[speechwriter]

Oh. That makes a little bit more sense. Thank you.

[ he's smart at so many other things!!! ]