bakerstreet | Aftercare Meme

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Aftercare Meme

THE AFTERCARE MEME

Sexual play can be intense. It can be emotional - it can be exhausting. It's essential to take time after to reaffirm, cuddle and comfort, apply any first aid, and relax.

PROMPTS:
1: ROUTINE. This is how you always do it; maybe it's complicated, maybe it's simple, but it has the comfort of ritual.
2: BROKEN. You're proud, you're confident, you're cocky, but this has cracked through the shell and left you open and needing.
3: SUB DROP. Withdrawal from the endorphins leaves you exhausted and unhappy. Someone needs to help with that.
4: DOM DROP. Dominating has really taken it out of you - maybe it's the submissive's turn to give some comfort.
5: SAFEWORD. You got interrupted in the middle: everything became too much, and someone used the safeword. Time to talk it out.
6: NONE. Your lover is cruel, and doesn't give you the aftercare you need.
7: WITH SOMEONE ELSE. You seek your comfort and your affirmation from someone besides your lover.
8: FIRST TIME. You've never done this before. The experience, the sensations - it's all new, and it leaves you all the more disoriented.
9: SECOND ROUND. Time for another go?
10: WILD CARD. For everything else!

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"Wasn't going to," Tony murmurs before finally bringing the cup up to take a healthy sip. And that's nice, but Tony finds himself shifting a little to set the mug down -- on one of the coasters even -- so that he can turn his attention to tucking properly into the embrace. He's practically got Steve wrapped entirely around him now, and it feels comfortable in a way he's not sure he could articulate even if his mind wasn't still in a slightly strange place.

It's only after he's gotten himself nice an comfortable that he pauses to shoot Steve a look out of the corners of his eyes. "Aftercare?" It probably should have occurred to him sooner that Steve seems to know an awful lot about what's going on, but it wasn't exactly his first concern.

Steve is just as glad he's put the coffee aside. Despite Tony's protests, he doesn't entirely trust him not to spill on his bedsheets, not when he's still a bit shaky. That, and having his full attention on cuddling is gratifying. Probably shouldn't think of it like that, he warns himself silently, anticipating awkwardness or verbal sparring resuming once Tony recovers. But it's nice for the moment.

"Mmmhmm," he nods, and his ears are slightly pink, the start of a blush that doesn't quite make it to his face. "I mean, I'm not an expert or anything. But, you know, letting someone tie you down or play rough with you, it's...a different kind of intimate. Breaks barriers, and you get high on adrenaline sometimes?"

He gives a very slight shrug, unwilling to dislodge Tony from his shoulder. "It's not right to leave someone alone to get their own head back in order after you do that to them. You're supposed to stick around until they're back to baseline and can take care of themselves."

He strokes Tony's hair again absently, silent in the way he sometimes is when he's debating whether to say something more. Steve doesn't talk about his sexual experiences. Partly it's just an old-fashioned gentlemanly 'never-kiss-and-tell' attitude. Partly he's self-conscious, maybe even insecure on some level. At last, though, he offers the fragment of a start of an explanation:

"Brooklyn in the 30's and 40's was...not as different from today as you'd think. I mean, I lived on the wrong side of the tracks, figuratively speaking. Me and my mother, and then me and Bucky. There were a couple girls that lived in our building and up and down the block. Working girls. That's what they used to call 'em. Most of them were sweet. One of 'em used to have me help carry her groceries. Tall, redhead; dark, dark eyes. We got to talking a few times, and she told me she specialized in flogging and choking her, uh, clients..."

He realizes where it sounds like this story is headed and shakes his head hastily. "I didn't get involved with her or anything. Just friends. But I guess the idea stuck with me, and I asked her a lot of questions. Maybe because everyone treated me like I was made of glass, I liked the thought of the exact opposite, even if I never followed through back then."

Well that makes sense, in a strange sort of way. Tony'd never really done more than messed around with fluffy handcuffs or let things get a little rough before, so it had never occurred to him that the real thing might actively mess with his mental state. Though he's not sure what he would have expected even if he had know. Comfort isn't really something he associates with sex.

His line of thought is a little clearer, if still slightly fuzzy, but everything abruptly grinds to a halt at Steve's halting explanation. Tony can't help but laugh softly. Of course Steve would have befriended a professional Domme. It's such a him thing.

He nudges comfortably against the hand in his hair -- he's always liked having his hair played with, and Steve's got good hands for it -- and gives Steve an almost curious look. It's not something he'd probably have ever asked normally, but in this comfortable little cocoon, it almost doesn't feel invasive. They're already talking about it all, anyway. "Were you ever tempted to try? From either side."

If someone had, at the start of their acquaintanceship, bet Steve that one day he would be explaining an obscure detail of a branch of kink to Tony Stark...he would owe them money right about now. He almost wants to laugh about it, but then Tony laughs instead, and he tilts his head to give him a skeptical look. He's not sure if he's being laughed at, but the nudge into his stroking and the relaxed look on Tony's face tells him it's more of a 'laughing-with' kind of thing. He smiles again, sheepish, and gives another cautious shrug.

"Well, yeah. Sure. I have, actually." He worries his lip, thinking things over. He's not a virgin at this point in his life (old, not dead), but his sexuality is a bit...compartmentalized. "Both sides."

"You have to blow off steam, you know? Especially in a war zone. But it didn't feel right to just take some poor girl to bed and leave town the next day." Not to mention the risk of pregnancy.

"But you can be tied up, or tie someone up, get hit or whipped, fool around, without the actual sex part. I did...a lot of that. With girls, with guys. It helped, especially when I was still getting used to what my body could handle. I could shake off the dark moods without feeling like I was cheating on anyone."

He may have carried on with Peggy a few times, too, but if so, he's not telling. He tilts his head again, rubbing his chin over Tony's hair. "I don't have to worry about fidelity now. I let things go a little further the last couple times I played around. It was nice, but I haven't made it a regular thing with anyone."

Because he's terrified of getting attached. That's a whole other conversation, though.

Tony hums in response, but it's the kind of noise that he usually uses as a placeholder while his brain works something through. It might take a little longer at the moment, but his mind is never not working. And well. That was part of the issue, wasn't it?

"I wanted to not think for a little," he admits in turn. He might be embarrassed about giving that up tomorrow, but he's already made himself a lot more vulnerable to someone he trusts a lot less tonight, so screw it. "Just...wanted to try. Probably should have worked things through more first, but the opportunity was there, and." He shrugs.

And really, given just how unprepared he's starting to realize he was, the fact that it ended with nothing more than feeling unsettled likely means that he got incredibly lucky. The thought makes him tuck in closer to Steve without conscious thought.

It also means he's not focusing on the idea of Steve trying anyone up, because even flirting around the mental image is threatening to make Tony's breath go short. Jesus, that should not be as hot an idea as it is. But Steve is already going above and beyond in dealing with Tony's stupidity this evening, he doesn't need to deal with that as well.

"I'll bet," he says softly. "If anyone's brain works overtime around here, it's yours."

Not that he's trying to feed Tony's ego or anything. At the moment, he suspects he's still too vulnerable to really take that observation as a compliment, though. "It's a blessing and a curse," Steve adds, and he says it like someone who knows from firsthand experience. "I kind of get it. I used to have a memory like a sieve. Now, nothing goes away, and it never really stops echoing back at me."

He doesn't have the head for science and engineering that Tony does, but he's like the proverbial elephant, never forgetting a damn thing, good or bad. "There's nothing wrong with needing a break, you just have to pick who you take it with carefully."

He's huddling in closer, which makes Steve feel more protective in turn, and he strokes his hair again in an effort to soothe him. "Shh, it's okay. I know I give you a hard time, but I'm not judging. Not this."

He gives him a gentle squeeze, then adds, "Actually, if you're going to do it again and you want me to be backup or protection or something...just keep me in mind."

His breath stutters to a halt. Tony tries to imagine doing that with Steve watching and finds himself shuddering a little. It's not a negative reaction, and it's not because of the hypothetical other person. And it's straying way too close to mental places he really probably shouldn't be going.

So he makes himself smile instead, though it doesn't take much effort, and shakes his head a little. "No, I." He clears his throat, trying to make sure he sounds even. Normal. "I think I'm done with that for the time being."

And then, because he's never been able to leave well enough alone, he finds himself shifting enough to peer up at Steve. "That wouldn't be weird?"

Steve is consciously trying to tune into Tony's physical reactions at this point, and the way they're nestled together only helps. So he feels that shudder and that hitch in his breathing at once. He's not completely sure what it's apropos of, whether alarm or approval, so his hand stills in the other man's hair as he waits for some other indication.

Unfortunately, what's coming out of Tony's mouth contradicts the look in his eyes when he peers up at Steve. With dark eyes, it's harder to tell if the pupils are dilated, but Tony's face is always fairly expressive. Steve gives him a long, intent look, saying nothing for a moment. Then his eyebrows go up and he gives a slow, sweet smile that's a bit unlike his usual boyish grin. There's a hint of something knowing in it.

"Aw, Tony. What is there in our lives that isn't? weird?" His fingers ruffle his hair again. "But if you're asking me would I mind? No, I wouldn't. To be honest, I'm enjoying you like this. Relaxed. Not deflecting."

He tilts his head and gives him a soft kiss on the temple. "Tying you to my headboard would be a hell of a team-building exercise," it's a joke, even if it's delivered at a lower timbre than Steve's voice usually takes, and murmured only a few inches from the other man's ear. "But I definitely want to give you what you need."

And Steve is steady, perfectly steady and all but projecting calm, because his poker face is usually crap, but he's made a career out of being in control, directing a team, and reassuring men when they're in life or death situations. That doesn't mean he doesn't feel the stakes are high here, though. It wouldn't do to create a problem between him and Tony, to ruin a perfectly good friendship.

Edited (html) 2017-05-06 14:25 (UTC)

This time the shudder is unmistakable as anything but interest. Even just sitting here with Steve saying that has his pulse racing faster than anything he'd gotten up to earlier. He can picture it so clearly, being held in Steve's unbreakable grip and absolutely knowing that he could trust those hands with anything....It's everything he wanted out of that first attempt and it hasn't even happened yet.

"I." He swallows hard against the urge to start babbling meaninglessly. He's not used to asking direct for what he wants, not like this. Dancing around the subject with innuendo and intent is so much easier. But no deflecting, right? That's what this is all about. He doesn't feel that same urge to be open and honest, but he finds he kind of wants to anyway.

So Tony straightens up to meet Steve's eyes solidly and nods once. He looks nervous and eager and fascinated and uncertain all at once, but he doesn't break the eye contact. And then one side of his mouth quirks up, just a little. "But maybe not right now."

From everything Steve's said, it's pretty clear that this was not how things were supposed to end. Maybe if things had gone right -- and Tony is definitely going to start doing some hardcore research tomorrow, because he knows he's going to be angry at himself for falling into things without enough information -- he could be up for something else. But. Tony may be clearer-headed now, but really all he wants is to stay curled into the warmth of Steve's body and maybe fall asleep.

Whoa. He can feel that shiver, practically sense the thrum of tension rippling through the man in his arms. Steve goes still for a moment to give Tony a chance to process, and respond, but he has a good guess what the response will be, even before their eyes meet. And that is gratifying, even intoxicating, on a level he hasn't experienced with any of the men or women with whom he's 'blown off steam' before. A relationship, a friendship, makes a difference.

Steve isn't the kind of guy to get off on pushing someone else around, after all. What he gets out of dominating is something subtler. A feeling of being trusted, maybe, or a sense of benign, protective strength. The pleasure of watching someone let go, and helping them get there. He smiles when Tony nods, and then laughs softly. "Definitely not right now. I want to make sure you're still interested in the cold light of day. You're coming back up but I think you're a little tired still, right now."

He slides lower in the bed and gives a small yawn. "Plus, we should both be clear-headed when we talk it over. Gonna need to know what you definitely don't want, before we decide what you do want."

He's starting to really like this idea, though. There's potential for disaster, of course; that's inherent when you sleep with a friend and teammate, but it could also be very, very nice. Something good for them both, that won't harm anyone.

Tony hesitates for just a moment, then shifts down to lay flat as well, still keeping as much contact with Steve as he can. It's a relief, oddly, more than it should be -- interest expressed and interest returned yeah, but also that they can table the whole discussion for the moment. Tony's not a guy who's ever handled heavy emotion well, and there's been a lot of it for what should have just been a fun night. Probably the fact that he hasn't been in his right mind has been the only thing keeping him from making an ass of himself.

He really hopes he doesn't do anything stupid tomorrow.

"Gonna do some research," he murmurs against Steve's shoulder, like he's telling both of them. "Should know. More about what we're getting into." It sounds half-asleep already, but Tony wants to make sure he gets that out, though even he's not sure if it's a promise or a warning. He's going to be prepared, next time. Going to do it right.

"I know you are," Steve says with humor in his voice. "You're probably the best researcher I've ever known."

Funny, actually, that Tony didn't do the research before jumping into things. That's usually Steve's M.O., to take a leap of faith and learn on the job, so to speak. "I guess you better share your findings with me," he adds, and strokes his cheek with the backs of his fingers. "Like I said, I have experience but I wouldn't say I'm an expert."

He really hopes Tony doesn't go changing his mind the next morning. It would certainly be his prerogative to do so, and Steve wouldn't fault him for it, but he might be disappointed.

"Why don't you sleep now, though? Talk it over in the morning." He feels more relaxed now, himself. A warm body beside him, a friendly presence, seems to help his own brain shut up. Memories and worries can wait until later.

((Seems like the scene is drawing to a logical conclusion, but if you wanted to continue the storyline, I'm very game. I like your Tony.))

[Thank you! And I'd love to keep going, I'm really enjoying them.]

[I could set up a PSL post in this journal, if you'd like. Unless there's another meme around that looks good to you. I've always kind of wanted to play out preliminary negotiations, so if you'd be interested in going that route next I'd be all over that.

I also don't object to gen or non-kinky smut, just for the record.]

[PSL sounds great, and I'm all about negotiations. I'm sure it will be hilariously awkward with this idiot. But I'm delighted to see where this goes.]

[Here's a link. It's kind of a vague start because I didn't want to assume too much, but I can make edits if you want more to work with, or want more time to have elapsed before they start talking about it.]

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Aftercare Meme

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