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bakerstreet2017-04-11 05:39 am
...you find someone to carry you
Hurt/Comfort - Hurt/comfort is a fan fiction genre that involves the physical pain or emotional distress of one character, who is cared for by another character. The injury, sickness or other kind of hurt allows an exploration of the characters and their relationship.
- Post with Character Name | Series in the subject.
- Others respond.
- Roll 1-10 at RNG for a scene, play it out and have fun!
1. INJURY. You've been injured. Broken bones or bleeding out or maybe just a tiny little papercut. The choice is yours.
2. SICKNESS. You're sick and laid up in bed, at home or in a hospital. The severity is up to you.
3. FEAR/ANXIETY. Something is happening and you're scared beyond belief.
4. LOSS OF SENSES. Sight, touch, taste, hearing, smell, etc. You've lost some important sense or ability and now you're left to deal with it.
5. DESPAIR. Nothing is good or right anymore and you can't shake the depression. Maybe that friend of yours can help though...
6. BREAKUP. You've been dumped. You need someone to comfort you, possibly by the one who dumped you.
7. MAKE UP. Fight or break up, it's time to makeup.
8. RESCUED. You've just been held captive and/or tortured for however long and finally, someone has come to the rescue.
9. BAD ROMANCE. Fight, cheated on, abused, whatever the case is, someone else can clearly see you need comfort from someone who isn't your terrible lover tonight.
10. LOSS. You've experience a loss of some kind and need help getting through it.
11. INSANITY. You're seeing things that aren't really there, hearing voices, or you're just convinced you're at your wit's end finally and you're going to crack. Maybe someone can give you a helping hand.
12. TIRED. You've had a heard life recently and you're just worn too thin to really care anymore. There's no fight left in you anymore. Can someone help change your mind?
13. ADDICTION. Drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, or any other type of addiction has got you in its grasp. First time or relapse. Will someone be able to save you?
14. INSOMNIA. You can't sleep anymore, no matter how hard you try. Maybe someone can give you company.
15. NIGHTMARES. Or, on the other end of the spectrum, you can't sleep without gruesome, horrible nightmares. Either someone is stuck in your dream with you, witnessing it or they're just waking you up, soothing you out of it.
16. BLACKMAIL. You've been caught doing something you shouldn't and you were blackmailed because of it
17. SEPARATION. You're going to be separated for awhile or were separated for a long time. Either make up for lost time or try to spend every last moment together.
18. VIOLATED. You've been violated in some way. Can include sexual overtones or not. Can someone help you through it?
19. STRANDED. You've been stranded somewhere remote, with no help of anyone finding you for awhile. Can you survive this together?
20. SINS. You're feeling the weight of your sins and guilt clearer than ever. Can someone give you absolution or lessen the ache any?
21. SECRET. It's difficult having to keep that secret of yours, be it a relationship or something you just don't want to share with anybody else. Maybe it's okay to talk about it now though...
22. ADDITION. Babies should be joyous things unless you're in a situation where you know you won't be able to care for them. Either you've adopted or found out you're pregnant.
no subject
He killed so many. And their voices were always there. The screams and accusing eyes haunting him when his own eyes fell shut.
In some ways, he wished he never fully woke up from the coma and instead existed in the odd sort of limbo before reality crashed down around him. The hazy recollections felt safer if only more confusing but at least he didn't have so much resting on him.
Through it all, he had lost so many people, killing more than his fair share and taking the burden of some to protect the others from it. He couldn't protect them as much now, though, and it gutted him. They had all done the worst sort of things and it didn't stop the deaths happening.
So many had fallen and there were countless graves lining their sputtering hearts. Something had to give and it seemed it had, just sitting there mockingly in the jail cell. BUT WHY. He still couldn't wrap it around in his mind, other than it being another mind game. Didn't Negan realise his mind had broken long ago?
He could barely hold himself together anymore and only did so by sheer willpower alone. It made him wonder sometimes when his breaking limit would be. The true breaking limit because he managed to get past the incidents in the prison and again with the first encounters with Negan. ]
That nearly sounds like concern if I didn't know better. [ Rick shook his head, sliding down until he could sit on the ground. His legs felt so wobbly and more than anything he just wanted to sleep. Well, actually more than anything he wanted to feel safe for two seconds and then sleep. ]
Why? [ His head cocked to the side as he regarded Negan closely. He had figured out Shane wanted him as well but he wanted to BE him. Shane had essentially wanted to slip into his skin and be the leader, have Lori and Carl like they were his very own. He knew Negan didn't want the same. Could Negan even look after anyone in a real way? What then did this amount to?
Rick knew he inspired fierce loyalty in others, something he did even before the world went to hell. It explained why the group still looked to him despite it all. They still believed and saw what he managed to do time and time again. He broke himself apart so they could have a better life and didn't need to.
He didn't get the same.
Or could he? ]
Is this another power trip? Get me in there and you win?
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If Glenn were one of his own men, even a really good one, Negan still would have shrugged and moved on, no matter the circumstances that led to their deaths. He'd learned with Lucille's cancer, and what had happened after, that the choices you made were the only choices that mattered. Everything else was water under the bridge in a world that kept you moving or else it'd eat you. There was no time to look back. There was no point in wondering what could have been, when the only way to get through right now was to believe in your choices and throw your entire weight behind them.
It had worked with the Saviors - worked for a while - but Negan had made another choice, for now; one that sat his ass down to see where the chips fell. Nobody had come to kill him yet. He could rely on Rick for that at least. This was a man of his word--just as Negan was a man of his word as well. He wondered, in the long term, where that left him. After all, Rick had sworn in front of his son that he would kill him. Carl would call him on that sooner or later.
But for now? Sure, he was enjoying fucking with him just a little bit, even if that hadn't been his original intent. Staying put, withholding answers, even flirting--whatever it took. He liked the game too much to just quit. ]
Jesus. I get the Cautious Patty routine, but do you have to ask so many damn questions? Why? Why? Cause you being dead would only make things worse for me. Cause me holding you hostage and trying to escape would get the both of us shot. After all, keeping me alive was your stupid idea. Ain't nobody gonna mind putting a bullet through you to remind you just how stupid.
[ He opened his eyes once more, and squinted across the darkness at Rick. Gave his ankle the slightest shake so that his manacles jangled. ]
If it's my plan to get behind you - I mean, if it were my brilliant, awe inspiring new plan to set you up for happy clappy kum bye yah community living, and I was sat on my ass in the cold, tied up, with absolutely nothing and noone to do - then do you really think I'd blow it all for the chance to watch you hang yourself on it first? I get a kick out of watching people squirm, Rick, you most of all, but unlike you I ain't stupid.
So if you wanna get in here, that's on you. It ain't no freaking game.
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Who would have ever thought Negan would be his sun? The undoing of every strand he wrapped around himself to hold it all together. For the past few weeks it had started to unravel more than ever before. The beginning of which happened at the prison and if he wanted to be honest with the truth about Shane and Lori. The betrayal continued to sting like a constantly aching wound, adding to the mix of the other actual wounds his body held. A landscape of battles he just managed to scrap by and he wondered how much longer he could keep it up.
When would his time end? And what would he have to show for it?
Intense gaze remained on Negan as he talked ( the man sure loved the sound of his own voice ), running the words over and over again in his head a few times. With how much his decisions mattered, would anyone blame him for constant questioning? No wondered he felt as if he had ventured out onto the edge of a cliff. ]
Is that a hint for a cot and a blanket? [ The words were soft but no less intense than the look on his face. Quietly climbing to his feet, he reached for the key in his back pocket, coming to rest in front of the cell door. Looking down at Negan reminded him of the trips he used to take to the zoo with Carl, instructing him over and over again to never move too close to a predator because they would always find a way to pull you in.
Somewhere along the line, Negan had found a way to pull him in, making him orbit closer and closer until -
With a soft exhale of breath, he unlocked the door and stepped in. ]
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He came inside, and Negan dropped his chin away, cutting off the line of rising challenge that had baited his fish onto the hook. Pressure and release, as they said. The moment you got the outcome you wanted, you rewarded it by giving a little back, in this case by not boring twin holes in Rick's soul.
He shifted along the wall a bit to make room, though there wasn't much need. The gesture made the point, though, and he folded his hands on top of his knees as he brought them up a little ways, trying to show how very relaxed and not about to strangle the other man he was. ]
I ain't that optimistic. I'd settle for a Where's Waldo? and a copy of Totally Titties though, you know what I mean? Idle hands.
[ He tipped just an eyebrow toward Rick, almost like a facial shrug. ]
Sit down, take a load off. Maybe I can help you out after all.
[ He didn't say about what, but helping was the crucial point here. If he could be useful to Rick, it would secure his bargaining position with the rest of his folks, and maybe keep Negan alive.
And if that failed... Well. He could always deep throat the guy. It was hard to shoot someone after they did a thing like that. ]
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It would lead to ruin in the end and yet he still leaned against the bars inside of the cell, knowing fully well what the others would think of his actions. They were worried about the tether between the two of them but Rick didn't feel as concerned. He still wanted to kill Negan, hadn't lost the fire to oppose everything he stood for. He just also kind of felt drawn to him all the same. ]
Do ya even have the patience for Where's Waldo? [ Rick asked with his eyebrows raised. He ignored Negan's suggestion to sit down, needing the advantage of quicker movement just in case. The trust didn't exist whatsoever but Rick didn't exactly trust many. There were only a couple he trusted without a shadow of a doubt and Negan didn't make the short list. ]
[ Unable to stop himself, he asked - ] Help me with what, exactly? [ Talking about his objectives would sure help and why he let them catch him. ] You might get an upgrade if ya don't cause anythin'. [ Negan had the potential to be useful, something he explained over and over again to the others but they needed to see first. If they had a prisoner, they might as well use him for their benefit. ]
[ His eyes kept looking around, ears listening for any sign of movement. Another reason he hardly slept besides the nightmares plaguing him. ] There's a place next to mine they're completely cleanin' out and Morgan is settin' it up. [ Just in case they had other possible prisoners and it would offer the illusion of more freedom and 'trust'. It would have bars and security measures everywhere, of course, but would also have a bathroom. ]
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He'd been starting to figure Rick out, but he had no comprehension of him now. Something else was getting under Rick's skin. It wasn't as simple as desire. Maybe it was just exhaustion. Negan was beginning to suspect that he just wanted some of the pressure taken off his shoulders, more than anything else. He wanted to give his people something which would last - or outlast him, at least - and which leader didn't want that?
He cocked his head, turning his confusion into amusement. Might as well laugh at the world, right? It had all gone to hell anyway. ]
Simon. He's a reasonable man, you'll do well with him. He believes in what's fair more than anyone else I've ever met. And since you believe in what's fair too... I don't see any problems there.
You might have more trouble with the scrapyard people. That...man, that is a different matter entirely.
[ He hummed. He probably wasn't telling Rick anything he didn't know. ]
You need to pare down a bit further than just the head of that snake, and flush out which of the people below drank too much of the Kool Aid. More like an abscess. You can ease the pain, but until you dig in with a knife that festering pustule is just gonna keep coming back worse.
Helping yet?
no subject
Taking in the offered words, he nodded his head, looking as sour as ever but maybe a little less so. ]
I have a meeting with Simon tomorrow on where to go from here. Hilltop and the Kingdom are already setting things up for the network. [ Once Rick set his mind to something, nothing stayed in the way for very long. ] No one has asked for you back.
[ Nodding his head again, he rubbed at the side of his face absently. ] What's your suggestion? Kill 'em all? Set an example of what will happen? [ This time he shook his head. ] That's not the way we're gonna do things anymore.
[ We don't kill the living.
He used to be that man and he wondered if he could be again. ]
Things are gonna be different now. They have to be. [ Slowly, he sat down, knees drawn up with his arms resting on them. He stayed pressed against the bars. ] Where were you when the dead started to rise? Were you alone for awhile?
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Which made Rick the only one who cared what happened to him. Life was funny that way.
He was quiet for a while, or not rushing to respond, at least, chewing over his thoughts, all of Rick's provocations or suggestions. He was determined for it all to be better, now, but things couldn't be. People would still die; they'd keep dying. That was the price you paid by putting people together. Even a heart attack could end up in a massacre, and that, it seemed, wasn't ever going away. They were all infected.
His tired eyes stayed fixed on the other side of the room, the opposite wall, and then he twitched back to life and the light flicked back into them, like someone had put his batteries back in. There was still a battle here, for Rick. He had problems ahead, and the scavengers were top of that list. ]
Don't get me wrong, Rick. I mean, it's cute that you think society is that far along, but you can't do things your own way here. You can't fix people that this world has fucked up.
Jadis and the others...they got one motivation: they take. You might get them on board with one offering but they'll always take more, and if it's worth their while, they ain't gonna have any compunction with throwing you into the waiting teeth of the nearest hungry thing around. You've seen where that leads already.
If you won't kill them, then you're better keeping them out of it. They'll be a threat, but you gotta wait till they have no other choice but to come begging round your door.
[ He didn't answer Rick's question. Instead, he turned his eyes on him, serious and sharp. ]
Were you alone for a while? What kind of hurt did you see, Rick?
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Okay, there were the spilling of words as if Negan had stepped into a Shakespearian play. Hamlet or Macbeth in most cases. Did he ever miss the chance for reading but mysteries had been more his speed back in the day. In his childhood, he loved the board game Clue and barely anyone beat him minus his dad. The man he always tried to live up to but never quite made it work.
Letting out a breath, he tipped his head back against the bars, thinking in his own silence. ]
Yeah, it'd be easier to just eliminate people but that'd get me compared to you. It'd make people start wonderin' how long before I got a reign like yours. Can't have that or we'll have more uprisings on our hands. [ He had considered just killing all the difficult ones but the bloodshed would only add more complications in the long run. ]
Jadis. [ His jaw clenched for a moment, his hands tightening but the reaction faded nearly as quickly as it happened. He loathed the woman, not only did she shoot him but her people nearly cost lives of those he cared about most. In actuality, he found her worse than Negan. ] We could blockade them from everything. Things are real sparse round here and they don't exactly do their own work to get things. They'd have to travel further and further. They'll be weaker then. Might be able to sway her people away from her.
[ He let out a sigh. ] If that don't work then someone else can get to the killin'. Just can't be me. I can't know 'bout it.
[ The sudden change in conversation jarred him but he should have expected Negan would ask his own question rather than answer anything he offered. ] You want my life story since wakin' up to this shit?
Got shot on the job and it put me in a coma. Was real bad and when I finally woke up the world had already gone to shit for couple months. I didn't know what was goin' on. Woke up in an empty hospital and when I got out there - outside - well, would've been a goner had it not been for Morgan. [ His loyalty to the man shone through the remark and he really would do anything for him. ]
Only thought of findin' my wife and my boy. Started headin' to the city and it was overrun. I wouldn't have made it without - [ At this, his head tipped down, fingers curling into his palms. ] Glenn saved me, took me back to his camp and there was my wife and Carl, just there, waitin'. They thought I was dead. [ Letting out another sigh, he relaxed his fingers. ] Lot of shit happened from there. Don't even know how most of us are still alive.
Might tell you more sometime if ya tell me some of yours.
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Fortunately for Rick, the change in topic gave him the chance to escape the implications of that particular conversation. Negan could have easily insisted on sticking with it, on talking about how murder was murder, even if it wasn't your own hands doing it, but then, Rick already knew that. He wasn't going to get very far with it.
But the story of his life, or at least those few months surrounding the outbreak, was much more fascinating, really. So Negan listened. He didn't know whether not knowing for months made Rick the luckiest bastard in the world or the least. But he'd made friends - friends that were still alive - and he'd found his wife and kid alive, and really, there wasn't anything luckier than that.
One in a million chance right there. Negan wasn't sure anyone who'd known him in life was even still alive. Teachers weren't exactly the kind of people you imagined storming through zombies with guns blazing, and everyone else he knew had been under the age of sixteen. Not much chance for survival there.
Glenn, again, was the most notable thing of all. He flicked his eyes up. ]
I met people. We ran together, they told me their heartbreaking stories, let other people die so they could get on, and then surprise surprise, they turned out not to be all that. Nobody I met, those first few months--none of them lived. Not from anything I did, mind you. Just screwed up shit. Camping out in the middle of nowhere with the fire burning high, going into a building without having a way out; rookie stuff.
But hey, baby makes three, right? That must have been a nice surprise. She's big. You and your honey must have been having some good times before the end.
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But he did know the image mattered the most now and everyone wanted to see a certain type of leader in place. Deanna would have been a marvel at it and how he wished she would have survived. She knew how to inspire things in others and now he needed to do the same thing. He could inspire loyalty but other things? He just needed to get his act together. Play up the whole 'just and fair' act and return to the 'we don't kill the living'.
Whether the living died or not would be attributed to the roughness of the world. ]
That sounds 'bout right. What led you to becoming Negan? [ He noticed the look in Negan's eyes sometimes and knew there were more features to the story but maybe eventually the blanks would fill in. ]
She's not mine. [ The words were out of his mouth before he thought better of it and with a low groan he rubbed a hand over his face. He really needed to get some sleep. Damn it. ] I mean - she's my daughter, I'm raisin' her. But she ain't mine. My wife when she thought I was dead - [ He waved his hand out, giving a humorless laugh. ] My old partner, my best friend, he just slid right in. Tryin' to be me. My showin' back up put a real damper to his plans. Judy was his.
[ He looked off to the side for a moment. ] He left me in the hospital when things were happenin'. Just left me there.
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And really, hearing that Baby Grimes wasn't Rick's own was the tastiest gossip he'd heard in forever. He tried to resist barking a laugh, even, at Rick's Freudian slip, but he couldn't contain himself completely. ]
"Slid right in."
[ Yeah he did. Hah.
But he forced himself to take on a more serious expression, cocking his chin up. ]
Not for nothing, Rick, but you slept through the end of the world. I mean, shot or not, you'd have thought the goddamn apocalypse would be enough to get someone rolling out of bed. [ He shook his head. ]
You can't really fault the guy. It's a survival thing, man. Not like I went back for anyone on the wards either, and even I know that if Lucille had come through she'd still 'a been dead weight. All the weak and dying were those days was fresh meat to slow down whatever's chasing ya.
That would have been you, Rick. Zombie chow. Or worse, you'd have got him and your wife and kid killed too.
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He preferred to not dwell on how many issues he and Lori had prior to the world ending.
Looking over at Negan, Rick correlated the man yet again with Shane. The two really were cut from the same cloth and likely things would end similar. Negan would step over him to grasp onto more power, leaving everyone else in the dust to fend for themselves. Something he just couldn't do. Shane as a cop should have been better and with Negan he didn't know what he did prior to the world ending but it didn't really matter. Probably car dealer or something equally as slimy. ]
That's the difference with us, I wouldn't leave my people. I take care of my own. [ If the roles were reversed, he wouldn't have left Shane and would have done everything possible to keep all of them safe. ] Doesn't matter now, does it? Your people will be my people soon enough. Like you said, Simon's a more fair man. He'll listen in ways you never did. He sees the bigger picture here. [ Dwight continued to concern him but he'd deal with the man later on once things were a little more settled. ]
I should be goin'. Will be daybreak soon and I've got things to get ready for. [ When he climbed to his feet, he swayed dangerously but just managed to stay upright. ] Morgan will be by in a couple hours with your breakfast.
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So long as he wasn't dead, anyway.
Rick still had the fight, was still willing to risk losing his head just to keep ahead of the curve. Good for him. It wouldn't help him sleep at night--case in point.
He bent forward, fixing his gaze fiercely on Rick as he swayed upright. They'd danced around the issue for long enough now, and it was clear Rick wasn't going to take his bait unless he was blatantly clear. Besides...he had his reasons. Good reasons. Logical, sensible reasons. ]
A leader needs their sleep, Rick. You can't sleep, it's only a matter of time before you make a mistake, get yourself or someone else killed. Maybe even me. I dealt with it my own way, had some help blowing off steam, you know. Finding peace and all that crap.
[ He raised his bound hands up in front of him and beckoned with one finger. ]
Three minutes. Three minutes, that's all. And it stays between you and me. I'll make it worth it, and when you go down for your nap, finally, you'll only have me to thank. And you will thank me, won't you? Profusely?
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They didn't understand why he kept Negan alive.
He didn't know either.
Turning on his heel to face the man again, he felt the tittering balance shift back and forth, ready to pitch him forward or backwards depending on what he did next. They both stood at a crossroads now and he needed to consider where it would lead them. Where it would take the others along with them.
But didn't he deserve a chance for selfishness? The opportunity of being human if only for a few moments.
Slowly, he moved forward, shaky steps bringing him to stand in front of Negan, close enough to touch but not quite there yet. The indecision continued and he couldn't quite bring himself to give into the heat blaring to life within him.
The sink or swim. The fight or die. The never giving up. ]
Three minutes. [ His voice rasped, conflict roaming all over the contours of his face. How would he ever justify this to himself? He just couldn't but it didn't stop him from unlocking Negan's shackles on his hands. He left the ones on his legs, giving a slightly weary look for a brief second. ]
You try anythin' and I'll slit your throat. [ His foreplay really could use some work. Pushing the keys into his coat pocket, he moved a little closer, heart hammering so hard in his chest it nearly hurt.
He shouldn't - shouldn't - shouldn't -
Negan stained his entire life red and tore apart everything keeping him whole. One reason he couldn't sleep rested there on the floor like a living and breathing nightmare and still he returned right into the awaiting jaws. ]
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People would argue that taking the offer a blowjob from a captured enemy was way up there on anyone's list of bad choices.
He waited until the cuffs fell away from his hands, and - rubbing his wrists gently - he pulled himself forward, swiveling so that he came up onto his knees, his shackled ankles behind him. Assuming the position. Rick came closer, trying to assert his dominance, even as he felt it flaking away. Surrendering to Negan's will like this was giving him control, no matter how hard he tried to keep his grip on it.
Like it or not, Negan had the power now. Rick could grab his head and fuck his mouth, or come all over his face, and Negan would still win this round, would still be able to hold this over him from now on. His son, if he ever found out, would hate him. His people would hate him. A little cocksucking to keep an ace up his sleeve wasn't much of a big deal at all.
But Rick was tired.
He kept his eyes down, because for the moment he didn't want to spook Rick and send him darting away before he got his shot at him. He was matter of fact about it, lifting his hands and undoing Rick's belt. Undoing his fly, he reached inside to peel his cock free.
For a moment, this was as quiet as Negan had ever been, stroking up from the base to urge his arousal, and taking just the tip in his mouth to swirl his tongue around it, before he even dared to risk a glance up at his prey. ]
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Why, then, couldn't he manage to end Negan and put a stop to everything surrounding the man? One single and not very remarkable person had started to undo him, prying apart the razor sharp edges he used to keep himself together, spilling open the humanity he tried so hard to hide. He needed to be better, needed to be stronger but all the stress drained him down to his core.
He didn't have much left to give at the moment and Negan consumed what little he had.
Breath hitching softly, he let Negan touch him, expecting it to be rough and downright brutal. Gentleness never existed with them, not through words and certainly not with physicality. And yet, Negan's movements were anything but rough. It made it worse, far worse than letting it happen at all. Rick couldn't enjoy it, couldn't allow more of a bond to deepen between them.
It was just getting off and nothing more.
Fingers tightening in Negan's hair, Rick slipped more of his cock into the other man's mouth, willingly things to go faster and to not feel so -- he didn't even want to put a word to it. He needed to ignore the sparks racing down his spine or the need for -- no. Closing his eyes, he snapped his hips a little more but nothing too rough because he technically didn't want to hurt Negan. Stupid, really, but he knew the violence curling around him sometimes and opening the lid on such viciousness could be difficult to contain.
Biting at his lower lip, he tried to keep any noises from spilling out.
He couldn't enjoy this. He couldn't. ]
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But gently, he encouraged Rick to be the one to close more of the distance himself, seeking what all men wanted when they got a mouth on their cock: more. Rick rocked his hips forward, and Negan gave it to him. Though Rick's grip on his hair was tight, it was by no means forceful, holding back, already nervous about the advantage he'd taken so far.
It was a delicate, tentative reaction, restrained by fear, and the best thing Negan could do was reward it, embolden him, invite Rick to push too far just to see what happened when he did.
Using the flat of his tongue, Negan rolled under the heavy head of Rick's cock, encouraging it to stiffen all the more. At the same time, the tip rubbed up and down the quickly filling veins, feeling the hot, aroused pulse against his tongue. Soon enough, the first bitter taste of precome burned his throat, and Negan rewarded it instantly with an edge of danger, the graze of his teeth lightly against the base as he pulled back, sucking on the head before starting up a bobbing rhythm, lips pressed tight against turgid flesh to deepen the impact of the friction.
His eyes, in the dull light that reached them through the barred door, were cast in shadow, but that made it easier to watch the man above him as he worked, ready to change tack at a second's notice if it seemed like Rick was going to push him away. He doubted Rick was counting the seconds until the three minute was up, one way or another, and if Negan had his way then any other thoughts in the man's mind would drift away too by the time they were done, including how he came to have Negan sucking his cock in the first place.
It was all power. You either had it, or you didn't, and even on his knees, Negan knew how to take what he could get. ]
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A lesson taught to Rick early on in his life and only reinforced through the years because expressing things only gave others an edge. Breaking yourself down meant someone saw all the little knives to twist and where to cause the maximum damage. It happened time and time again on the job when things went very, very wrong and emotions played a big part in it. Either they were not enough, were too much or were towards the wrong person.
The words only damaged things in the end.
Love existed, of course, and drove people forward or backwards whether they liked it or not but one misplaced word or too much silence could tear it all apart. Something Rick knew all too well with his marriage to Lori. In the beginning, things had been perfect and she fully embraced his expression through action, especially when it kept them as newlyweds far after the honeymoon ended. She enjoyed the sensuality he brought to their relationship and the bonding he longed for and often. But all too soon, Lori wanted more and demanded they talk every little thing out, pushing him to clam up. It only led to yelling on Lori's end and leaving on Rick's. She wanted too many words and Rick had never been wired to offer them in the way she wanted.
She never grasped the brush of his fingertips through her hair meant 'I love you' and their arms around each other expressed 'I need you, never leave'. The words seemed to matter more and he never measured up to her preconceived notion of what romance and love needed to be. Michonne, on the other hand, had understood and slowly helped him to open up without making him feel wrong but he destroyed things with her because of the man resting on his knees before him. The man who spoke freely and without holding back a single thing. His words being another form of a weapon.
The power of words broke someone down or inspired them to do the 'necessary thing'. He had a natural talent for speeches and it made him a fine leader and tailor made for proper law enforcement. He could talk all about plans and what needed to be done but when it came down to how he felt inside? No, the words only died on his tongue and left him with a gaping wound unable to be filled. Besides, releasing even just an inch would break the armor keeping him strong enough to stay on his feet. The group depended on him to keep it all together and even before the world ended he needed to be the rock for everyone else. Emotional outbursts needed to be carefully regulated and he only broke down when pushed to the absolute brink, which happened to be far more of a push than for most others.
He had a lot of skill with walls and hiding things deep down inside of him.
Yet, everyone needed some kind of release to keep their sanity and for Rick it just so happened to be the intimacy of connecting with someone else. The ultimate bond forged between two bodies moving and coming together to express all the things words never properly captured. Not the healthiest approach when it came to coping and he really should have learned to express himself better but Rick had always turned to sex early on in his life and it just became habit over the years. It settled him, grounded him and allowed everything else to remain bottled up.
Being with Negan, then, made very little sense with how much investment he put into intimacy with another person but the loss of Jessie and Michonne splintered too much within him and he needed something to grasp onto. Someone to reach back for him even if he knew why Negan wanted to in the first place. It would be a power play and a way to hold things over him. Emotional blackmail; the very worst kind for someone like him. At least, the heat from Negan's mouth felt right and every suck, lick and even scrap of teeth brought him closer to the edge. The feel of Negan's hair between his fingertips and the overall proximity of their bodies lessened the pressure weighing him down. It overwhelmed him in the best sort of way.
Time blurred around the edges and he lost track of how much of it had passed surely longer than the designated three minutes. Eventually, though, his head tilted back as the heat clenched in his stomach and with a few warning tugs of Negan's hair, he came hard. Nearly biting right through his lip to keep from crying out, only allowing a soft sigh to escape him in the aftermath. Trembles worked up and down his body while the heat continued to spread. Riding out the high, he snapped his hips a little harder than before, only moving when he felt too sensitive. He stumbled back on wobbly legs and it took him a few tries to right his clothing and slowly crack his eyes open.
Now, being selfish with sex never really occurred to him and it didn't take too long to move onto his knees and grab for Negan's pants to repay the favor. At least, with his hand. There wouldn't be any blowjobs happening this time.
He just needed to ignore the need to be so much closer. ]
[ ooc: this got really, really out of hand so please do not feel the need to match the length!! my next reply will be much shorter. ]
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No, actually, that sounded rather fun. But not better than enjoying the look on Rick's face when he came, and watched him swallow.
He caught hold of the back of Rick's legs, and held on, sucking down in rhythmic motions until he was sure he'd swallowed down every drop. That was about when Rick went skittering away backward, and Negan released him, letting him stumble. Away he went, putting space between them, so that he could pretend that he had safety with distance. It wasn't real. Negan could have gone after him, and choked him to death easily while he was prone, post orgasmic, torn and broken.
Rick had a lot to be broken about. He was a screwed up guy. He was emotional, and wrapped up in things, and he was going to be a wreck about this tomorrow, but Negan didn't care. Tomorrow was another day; that was the joy of it. Tomorrow meant a new chess match, with a completely different array of pieces.
He concentrated on mopping his mouth, working the back of his fist against the saliva and come on his mouth and beard. He scrubbed a little at it, then, amused, sank back to watch Rick recover.
It didn't take as long as he expected. Not at all. Rick moved back across the room, surprising him, and grabbed hold of his pants, starting to work his pants open. ]
Going to return the favor?
[ He was stunned. He hadn't known what favor to expect--had expected, in fact, to have to con Rick out of it come the morning, but this was a whole other thing. He couldn't have even asked Rick for it with a straight face. Guys enjoyed getting their dick sucked, that was simple math. And if not for having something to gain from doing the sucking, why would anyone do it? Emotion, that was why. Wanting to connect.
Really? Rick wanted to connect with him? That was totally weird. But it was still something he could take advantage of. It'd just take a little more working out to get straight.
That was fine. He could work it out. There was a middle point there too.
He curled one ankle around the back of Rick's, and pushed back on the floor, tugging Rick back with him. ]
Big man. Come on, then. Come on, do it. Do it, Rick.
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The countdown for the bomb waiting to happen sounded off in his mind, constantly looping and reverberating but so far not completely exploding. So many times in the past he nearly ignited into a fiery inferno but the connections he forged with others kept him as whole as a person could be in their new world. They all faced so much loss but bonds strengthened resolve and drove people forward when others wanted to stop. If a person had something to fight for, they kept going but if they had someone to battle for, well, they never stopped. They battled until their very last breath.
Rick broke himself down again and again to ensure others remained safe and he fought for them. He took the scars so they didn't have to.
When it came to Negan, he failed to forge a very strong foundation, at least, in the way his group had. Any of his group would do everything in their power to save him, no matter the risk but the Saviors hadn't done the same for their fallen leader. It had to sting and giving Negan something to hold onto could be a card to play.
There were many things Rick knew how to use against a person and while he felt terrible sometimes for it they existed in a world with very darkening morals.
For now, he worked Negan's pants open and pulled out his cock to stroke slowly, thumb pressing beneath the sensitive head on each second stroke to keep the pace different. He never really gave Negan time to get used to it - a twist here, a few pulls and jerks there, pressing and releasing at random times. All in the effort to undo Negan and break something in him.
The shift in position, though, made him pause completely.
While he wanted to be closer, he couldn't be.
But he didn't move back, only resumed stroking Negan, full out ignoring the urge to kiss him or worse. ]
Shut. Up.
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The problem was, it had been a long time since he had been with anyone willing. Oh, people had slept with him for power, but nobody had ever made him come because they wanted to. It was a whole other thing, and nobody had done that...not since he was last with his wife. Oh, he'd come close, with his mistress, and with his wives since then, but they were so fair weather that they'd left him here to rot. They didn't care how he felt.
So why did he feel like Rick did? Because he was returning the favor? It was absurd, and yet Negan was struggling a lot with the sense of it because Rick was right there, the whole heat of him, an intensity that carried absolutely no shame with it. For some fucked up reason Rick wanted him. Maybe it was the conversation.
He rolled his hips upward, grunting, helpless to the way that Rick pushed him. He ached with it, with desire to do more and the impossibility of it, in his current situation. Rick wanted to do more too, he could tell, but they were pressed for time, and things were delicate as it was.
So, inexplicably, Negan shut up, but for his soft moans, the breathless effort that he was making not to be too loud and give them away. If his prison really was being watched by the man with the stick, then Negan didn't much want him walking in here. It would screw up any chances he had of using this as a power play over Rick if all of his folks knew about it.
Besides, he sort of wanted it to happen again. So if Rick wanted him to shut up, he'd shut up, curling his fingers into his hands until the nails dug into his palms, and breathing harder by the second.
If it was a victory, why did he feel like Rick had won? Again? ]
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And did things ever go wrong in their new world.
Brutality drenched their daily lives and while he fell into its depths at times, he couldn't seem to with Negan. When they first captured the man, he should have finished the job and ended him right then and there. You always trampled the serpent beneath your boot to not allow for it to curl around you and whisper the sweet nothings you are longing to hear. The honey soaked promises were dangerous and drifted focus onto the possibilities that never really existed in the first place. The allure for capture being far more important than the actual validity of what led there.
Negan easily reached for charm but there were already cracks forming in his facade and Rick could tell the solitary confinement had started to influence him. How ironic given how often he used to throw others into a cell. Just desserts or something similar.
The sounds falling from Negan's lips and the scent of him overwhelmed Rick and he pressed closer because of it, stroked his hand faster. Without really thinking about it, his lips messily ran over Negan's neck. Everything about the moment was hurried and raw in a way sexual matters never were in the past for him. It nearly felt addicting, which again he needed to stop.
Why did he have to feel so drawn to Negan?
His teeth scraped along Negan's neck as squeezed his cock, nearly an imitation of how things could be in another kind of circumstance. ]
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It was crazy, and he was done thinking about it, done worrying about his own motives, and Rick's, because essentially none of it mattered. A game of chess could be won or lost by the most unexpectedly mundane of chess moves, made long before the killing blows. He was still playing now, would be playing for who knew how long, but who the eventual victory went to was hard to say.
Right now, it didn't matter. He was just enjoying the game.
He was enjoying the warm, willing, powerful body that was moving over his own, the fact that Rick seemed to manage to play out being dominant and submissive at the same time. The squeeze around his cock, in particular, was something that he found incredibly promising, but at the same time, teeth grazed the stubble at his throat, and made him growl with desire, tipping his head up and exposing just a little more for Rick to nibble. ]
God, yes. You wanna make me come, you gotta try harder than that, sweet stuff.
[ That was crap. He was perilously close as it was, but his silent obedience from before only went so far. ]
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Their current indulgence would only be a game for Negan, a way to win something or another. For what exactly, Rick needed to figure it out, which meant more proximity with Negan. A danger given his attachment to the man but they needed all the possible facts. At the end of it all, Negan knew a lot and he could be an asset if given the right motivation.
Who knew Negan would want him in any sort of way.
The growl made a shiver run down his spine and okay he really needed to finish this up now. They were becoming too intimate with one another and he couldn't lose himself in Negan. Just no.
With a shake of his head, he shifted his body around until he managed to take Negan's cock into his mouth, sucking hard and scraping his teeth lightly. ]
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