bakerstreet | the crossdressing meme

the crossdressing meme

meme taken from part of a super old post cuz im lazy

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1. It's your job. Your boss says it's for promotional purposes. Or you are filling in a part in a play. Any which way, you are getting paid to do this.

2. Wearing your SO's clothing. Your boyfriend's shirts just look so inviting, or perhaps you were curious why your girlfriend wears hose so much.

3. You lost a bet. Teaches you to make risky bets. Your honor won't let you out of this one, so be a gracious loser and don't trip in those heels.

4. You woke up in this. Whoa, what even happened last night? Everything's kind of fuzzy. Where are you...and what are you wearing?

5. It's a disguise. Maybe you are a spy, or have gone into hiding! Whatever is going on, it is a necessity no one finds out who you really are!

6. Getting kinky. Behind closed doors, all sorts of things can happen. You and your partner wanted to try something new, so why not get creative in the bedroom?

7. Curiosity. Skirts do look awfully comfy... so do those boxer shorts. Or you happen to wonder if you could pass as a different sex, if you tried.

8. You just felt like it! Of course, you could just like to dress this way. So go for it!

9. Wild Card. Anything I missed? Anything else you want to do? Go for it!

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((ooc: Mostly interested in 3 or 6 or 7))

((OOC: 1 or 8, let's be real here. :D))

[Character info is in her journal.]

[definitely the crossdresser. pass on 2; ota for gen, m/f is ok for casual flirting, Zoros only for shipping]

[that was 3, 4, or 5 as my thoughts...lbr Zoro will laugh and yell either way]

[ 8 hours. 8 hours of wearing this shit. How Usopp managed to gather up a skirt, pair of hose, and high-heeled boots that fit him perfectly - he doesn't know, and doesn't want to. (Though he suspects he had help from their resident pervert skeleton.) He also isn't sure why the hair extensions are necessary. But he knows he won't be playing with stupid bets in place of beli in any poker games with the sniper from now on. Certainly won't be so quick to assume the other man is always bluffing, anyway.

At least half of the crew - including his lovely ladies, thank god - is all the way on the other side of this jungle island, busy with treasure hunting. And at least this outfit isn't as horrendous as the ruffly, pink monstrosity he was forced into back on Momoiro. The short, black pencil skirt is almost flattering, actually, when paired with his own button-down and jacket; and while Usopp's make-up skills aren't perfect, he doesn't resemble a clown, so that's something. Small favors.

He's still pissed. Even more so when he hears the telltale sound of snickering outside the galley, where he's chopping a little too aggressively at carrots for stew. (Something hearty and filling that will keep until the others make it back to the ship.) No doubt Usopp is sharing the story with whoever is left on board that doesn't already know about this. He really doesn't want to think about who that is, but he doesn't have much choice when he hears familiar footsteps and the galley door opening.

He doesn't look back at the unwelcome presence, just lifts the hand holding his knife with a pointed gesture, shoulders tight as he warns him, probably uselessly. ] Not a fucking word.

[that snickering was actually Usopp cleverly managing to hide exactly what Zoro would find in the galley, telling the story without giving away the punchline. Zoro catches no clue from him, at least nothing that would actually prepare him for the sight that meets him.

For a zillionth of a second he considers that there's an intruder aboard but no, Usopp said the cook was in here so...

Gaping, first. A pure, unabashed what the actual fuck on his face]

...HAAAH?

[the laughter is coming, but right now it's caught behind pure bewilderment]

[ ...Fine, that's technically not a word.

As much as he doesn't want to see the swordsman's reaction, he supposes he may as well get it over with all at once; so he turns, abandoning the knife with a final sharp thud that's likely to leave a notch in his cutting board. Arms crossed over his chest, he glares at Zoro with eyes laden with heavy mascara and, ugh, blue shadow. Dark red lips twist into a scowl. ]

Go on, shithead, get it out of your system.

[First, he points. Like he's going for that's really you under there but can't quite get the words out. Then his scarred eyebrow twitches, which morphs into a full-face twitch as Zoro is caught between still being confused and the growing sense of hilarity.

Eventually hilarity wins out, though, and the half-grimace dissolves into actual laughter with a huge snort.]

So that's what he meant!

[ Sanji grits his teeth as his already pinkened cheeks take on even more color. The other man's laughter may be a sound he enjoys sometimes, but not when it's directed at him.

He's exposed many things to his somewhat more-than-occasional lover (for lack of a better term), but that part of their two year separation isn't one of them. The dress he wore and even temporarily embraced in his lapse of sanity, and the very fleeting thoughts that have passed through his mind since - these are things he intends to take to his grave. To be put in this similar situation is bad enough, but Zoro, especially, is the absolute last person he wants to see him like this, dammit! ]

I'm going to kill Usopp. [ Muttering to himself, a murderous glint in his eyes. ] I'm going to kill him and butcher him and serve him for dinner. [ Hey, it'll be meat, so Luffy won't care. ]

You are one ugly lady. [laughing so he doesn't cry, really. He can't fathom Sanji like this for the long term in any sense. It's just so ridiculous.] How long does he got you in this getup? Or is it just till everyone sees?

Shut it, cyclops. [ A lipsticked snarl, defensive before he can even figure out what he's being defensive about. ] I still look better than you ever will! [ But fuck, no, he doesn't care how he looks right now; he isn't meant to look good as a woman, dammit! And he is not having an identity crisis in front of the goddamn poster boy for manliness. He's already never going to hear the end of this as is. ]

7 hours. [ He grumbles, fishing for his cigarettes and lighter, clicking his tongue in annoyance when he reaches for his pants pockets first, before finding them tucked away in his jacket. ] And 35 minutes.

[ooh, that's a new one. He really must've touched a nerve this time.]

I dunno if I can handle you in that getup for that long. I need to be a lot more drunk. [read: not drunk at all yet. But hey, he wasn't even supposed to be back to the ship yet, he simply got lost and decided he'd done his job exploring and was ready to be back]

Unless... [giving Sanji a rogueish grin as he passes on his way to the liquor] ...ripping those clothes off you doesn't count as taking them off.

[ shh, no, no nerves have been touched here, you're imagining things.

Being drunk isn't too terrible an idea, to be honest, and may be one he's already considered; but unlike some bums that apparently have nothing better to do, he typically refrains from drinking this early in the day. But it's tempting, especially if it would make these torturous hours go by faster.

Lighter clicking shut, he puffs irritably at the cigarette and prepares to block Zoro's path to the booze with his leg - merely out of the instinctive need to give him a hard time - but doesn't get very far before he has to quickly abort that plan. Shitty skirt. Fortunately, he doesn't have to lament his restricted movement very long, as the swordsman's words give him pause.

Could it be...a loophole? Shit, Sanji could kiss him. Among other things. ]

I'm willing to argue that it doesn't. [ Doing very little to resist the pull at the corner of his mouth. ] You didn't miss me or anything, did you? [ That, or he's just decided to be unexpectedly helpful. Sanji doesn't really care either way, he'll take it. ]

Miss you? [SNORT!] It's only been half a day.

[he easily sidesteps that missed opportunity and swings around to grab a bottle, not even looking to see what he's managed to snag. He'll drink whatever it is, even if it turns out to be some of the cook's fancy wine.]

Honestly, I'm not into you looking like that, but I know what's underneath. That part, I wanna get to. [he just might be a tad possessive regardless of what Sanji's wearing, and crooks an eyebrow suggestively as he raises the bottle to his lips.]

And what a pleasant half a day it was. [ Well. Up until the stupid card game, anyway.

He glances at the bottle in the big ape's hand and yes, of course it's some of the nicer stuff, but just this once he'll let that slide. It's fine as long as Zoro gets him out of this outfit, and out of the messy, confusing thoughts in his head. ]

Sweet talker. [ A roll of his eyes. Who knew he'd one day find that bluntness so appealing? He looks away from the other man's expression that's already set a little jump to his pulse, gathering the carrots off his cutting board and putting them aside to wait with the other chopped veggies. Dinner is a long way off, after all... ]

Yeah, yeah, save it for somebody who'll fall for it.

[even if he's the one who usually falls for the bait, not so much today. Zoro's got an idea and once his mind is set on something he rarely wavers. While Sanji cleans up the kitchen he works the cork out of the bottle and sniffs it, takes a drink, and then looms up right behind the cook.]

Y'know, I've always wondered what it would be like to just tear your clothes off. But you won't let me mess up your nice dress shirts, so... [very obvious and not at all subtle grope of his ass. There's no pockets to get in the way in that skirt, after all...]

You're damn right I won't. [ Shirts of that quality are expensive. ] When you have the money to replace them, you can do what you want. [ But this shit? Have at it.

He shifts into the attention as warmth blossoms in his gut, almost leans back against the solid weight of the man behind him, before swatting at his hands. ] The pantry. [ It's extremely rare that he'll allow anything in the galley, but at least they don't eat in the pantry and everything stored in there is contained. He isn't interested in venturing outside to find a better place; running into the long-nose right now will just embarrass or piss him off or again, and he'd much rather hold on to this grateful mood - with the simmering promise of arousal - that Zoro's offer has caused.

He turns from the counter once he's satisfied, shoving Zoro toward the pantry and going to lock the galley door as a precaution. Takes a few more drags on his cigarette and frowns slightly at the lipstick left behind when he stubs it out, before joining the swordsman. ]

Oho? [now that's a new one. Not in the galley is a rule he knows well, but the pantry is pretty close...though, he can see the logic in it. Even if the others aren't back yet, it's better than going out on deck where Usopp can still point and laugh before they get anywhere.

Zoro can't stop the shit-eating grin that breaks out across his face as he gets shoved, and takes the bottle of wine along as he practically swaggers to the pantry door. Just to be a complete asshole, he holds it open for the cook and stands there leaning on it - but he stops himself from saying anything like 'after you, miss' because he knows full well he'll get kicked through the galley door and this playtime session will be over before it starts. It's somewhat implied by that grin anyway.]

[ Eyes narrow warningly. ] You don't have to look so amused, asshole. [ (As if he wouldn't, were the situation reversed.)

He snags Zoro by the shirt and pulls the jerk into the pantry along with him, attacking that stupid grin before the door finishes closing behind them. Not so much a kiss, more Zoro's lower lip between his teeth in a sharp bite; tugging until his smirk is forced to distort, then sucking almost soothingly. Tip of his tongue eventually swiping out to trace inside. ]

[any response from Zoro is cut off by that attack, he's left standing there with one hand leaning on the closed door until Sanji is good and done, or at least between moves so he can react. He goes for a deeper kiss in order to allow that tongue to do whatever it wants to him, and then breaks off after a second]

Eugh. Lipstick tastes gross.

[just so you know, cook. But it doesn't actually stop him for going after what he wants, shoving Sanji further back into the pantry so that no one will hear them if they happen to stop into the galley and then getting back into the rhythm of making out, kissing him hard and then parting his lips to let that tongue have access again]

You taste gross. [ The completely mature retort doesn't stop him, either, possibly because it isn't all that true. Annoyingly, Zoro's right, and there's a weird tackiness from the heavy red layer on his lips, but he merely combats that by pressing harder, likely smearing some onto the other man in the process. He'll take a little pleasure in that.

He takes a lot of pleasure in properly furthering their kiss, a demanding tongue licking thoroughly into Zoro's mouth. It's good and familiar, almost enough to make him forget what he's wearing when he lines his body up flush with the swordsman, hands trailing up a thick neck and gliding over his ears to let his fingers sift in marimo hair. ]

[NOT DENYING IT...

Fingers in his hair is Zoro's true weakness, and he forgets all about any weirdness in the cook's clothing situation in order to dive in and devour him. His arms wrap fully around Sanji and press him close, trapping him, and one hand drifts lower to palm his ass in eagerness. The skirt is the same texture as his usual trousers, but easier to tug on, pull upward as he squeezes. Ooh, this might come in handy...

...just this once, though. Not something Zoro could get used to.

He growls in his throat and bites at Sanji's lower lip as he goes for it, shoving that hand fully up under the skirt and really getting a handful of taut cook ass.]

[ Sanji hums into their kiss, low and pleased, as muscular arms hold him close. The fingers in Zoro's hair take a tight grip of approval, nails lightly biting into his scalp to urge him on. Idly, he worries about how his weird kink for Zoro manhandling him may further affect his current embarrassed state...but he tries to turn his overactive brain off, and not imagine how they might almost look like a normal couple right now, with him dressed like this...shit, stop overthinking things....!

The hand up his skirt is nice, though. That kind of easy access paired with the surprisingly libidinous swordsman would be a terrible idea on a regular basis, but in this moment at least, he can appreciate it. The underwear is his own - snug, silk black briefs that are admittedly more about appearance than function but mercifully nothing like the humiliating bloomers he'd been forced into before. (Brooke's panty collection had come into the conversation, and while taking a peek was tempting, like hell was he going to wear something the skeleton had once drooled over!)

Breath hitching at the attention, he draws back from Zoro's mouth - with just a bit of a snort at the lipstick transference - and leaves a trail of red marks down his jaw to his thick neck. ] I give you permission to act like a barbarian and you're just gonna feel me up?

I'm just getting started.

[Really! It's half an excuse, half a promise, as Zoro yanks at the skirt with one hand and gets the other into the waistband of those briefs. Thank god it's not panties, he might be embarrassed by that. As he feels his way around, Zoro can tell he's going to hate those hose - if anything's getting ripped off, it's those, though the tight skirt is kind of in the way, too. At least that he can roll up and get under. His groping reaches as far down as he can, finding the cook's muscled thigh.]

...I mean, if you want me to throw you over a crate, I'm gonna. Or maybe up against the door, how about that?

[yes, that sounds great. Zoro gets a good hold of Sanji's leg and hip and hauls him up, yanking the skirt up to his waist in order to let those legs wrap around him.]

( dying inside tbh )

((*chinhands* Okay but which prompts~))

( maybe a combo of 2 and 4? or basically just anything bc still slowly dying inside either way c: )

((Okay but consider: Adding 1, because for God Knows What Reason they have been roped into a Disney On Ice thing? (Charity maybe?)

Viktor already called Elsa!))

( lmao okay, that's also doable! gently tucks yuuri into snow white's dress bc princesses on ice tbh. post-show maybe? )

((Who else could he be but Snow. Let me know if I need to change anything!))

Viktor bursts into the locker room, carrying a box. He's beaming and sparkling a bit. Oh dear.

"The costumes are here! Wait until you see, they're gorgeous!"

He is so excited he forgets to mention that he may have signed them both up to skate for the hospital fundraiser. And already put in their costume orders. Weeks ago.

Yuuri's actually still in the process of trying to warm up a little when Viktor slams into the locker room, the hand he'd precariously balanced on the wall slipping to the point that he nearly ends up kissing it with his forehead. He recovers quickly enough though, expression twisting just a bit and mixed between concern, worry, and surprise. He does his best to keep his mouth from falling open, unsure where to start. They hadn't discussed any sort of new programs, and Yuuri hadn't mentioned needing anything different to wear...

"What costumes?" He's almost hesitant to even ask, eyeing the box warily.

"Oh! There's a fundraiser every year for Children's Hospital. Sorry, I forgot you weren't here for it before."

It's honestly kind of hard to remember a point when Yuuri wasn't here in St, Petersburg. There was, of course, but everything just fits better with him here. Maybe Viktor can be forgiven for that?

Then he pulls out a swatch of glittering fabric. Twinkling with rhinestone snowflakes.

"Sasha's really outdone herself!"

[definitely the crossdresser, could be for any prompt]

Edited 2017-03-16 03:58 (UTC)

[c a n o n. forgive my lack of Ping icons in advance]

[3, 4, 5 or 7 are more likely. 6 depends. m/m for any shipping.]

Edited 2017-03-16 12:37 (UTC)

[either role; m/m for serious shipping]

[ Any prompt is great. ]

[If Kurama's the one dressing up, 5 is by far the most likely here with 3, 4, and maybe 8 possible depending on the situation. If it's your character, pretty much anything goes, but ask me first for shipping!]

[She can rock a ~~business cape~~ tux as well as anyone, 7 and 2 are the least likely scenarios on her end, but I'm game for whatever.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

the crossdressing meme

Wolfgang Mozart | Amadeus

Viktor | Yuri On Ice | OTA

Letha Regis | OC

Sanji | One Piece

round 2

we'll go with 3 ~

BEYOOTIFUL

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jfc how are you so fast tho, i almost fell asleep twice on this whoops

I don't have much else to do when I'm online

i always manage to distract myself, it's terrible

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katsuki yuuri | yuri!!! on ice | ota

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Osomatsu Matsuno | Osomatsu-san | ota

Mulan | Disney's Mulan

Cloud Strife | FFVII (crisis core)

Eiri Yuki | Gravitation | ota

Umi Ryuuzaki | Magic Knight Rayearth | OTA

Kurama | Yu Yu Hakusho

Alanna Calrissian | Star Wars OC | OTA