[A wolfish grin. Oni can't help herself sometimes.]
Ani? Darlin'? I don't think you can call it an "attempt" when he left th'country with you. Maybe he didn't deliver you to th'good General, I'll give him that, but that still doesn't excuse th'fact that he blew up your house and nearly shot me in the fucking face. [It's been years, and she may have begrudgingly forgiven Wade for that incident, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to remind Ani. Lest she forget.]
I suppose so... [Her brow pinches together. She understands the dangers her work involves, and the idea of Ani piggybacking off her pain makes the she-wolf uncomfortable.] I'd feel alot better about it if you could find a way t'tell when something's goin' on without bein' fully immersed in th'experience.
[Oh. Oh yes, there was that, too. ALL of that. Ani had the sense to look abashed.]
[Time for a change in subject, right?]
I know. I've been working with some of the students at the school in NY which is how I was able to create shields to begin with. Now I just have to learn to loosen them a bit, or maybe just take some time each day to run through all of them as a mental exercise? And too, I've been better at not forgetting my gloves, and keeping my skin covered. For the most part I mean.
[Nope, not bringing up Rio and Ashley and the costume that wasn't.]
[How many times can Ani change the subject? Oni almost laughs.]
[And then she can't help but look a little worried. Oni never, ever, ever talks about her PTSD, but there are days when she compulsively reaches out to everyone she knows, making sure they're safe. What Anika is suggesting sounds so similar that she wonders if her friend is suffering from her own form of anxiety.] All of them...? Each day? Maybe it's just me, but that seems like a lot. Are y'sure that's necessary?
[Yes, best not to mention Rio and Ashley and the costume even if she's already seen the pictures and he's lucky nothing happened or he was going to be buried in that blue, feathered contraption.]
It is a lot, but it's like ahhh, lets say you slowly run your hand over a threaded loom that isn't woven yet. You can feel each thread under your fingers, right? Before they become the rug or the wall hanging or whatever they become? Sometimes it feels like that for me. I can pause, I can feel a string or a group of them, and feel if there are any snarls so to speak.
Before it was like I was wrapped in a web full of yarns of light, all chaotic and tangled. I had to learn to shield, there were times I felt I was choking. But now that I've taken classes and practiced, the threads are becoming more orderly. And I'm not touching people very often, so no new threads are really being introduced to the loom. And well, it's something that I feel I need to do. Especially after seeing how you looked after your fight with the Naz-ghoul.
[Ok yes, it was a joke and a play on his name but Ani still hadn't forgiven the strider for ripping into her friend. Not yet she hadn't.]
I've always been shit at weavin', but I think I'm pickin' up what you're layin' down. It just worries me that you might feel somethin'... Upsettin'. [Or feel nothing at all, and possibly panic. Oni's heard about how hard her death hit Ani, she doesn't want that for her friend again.]
Well, I'm glad those classes are payin' off, even if I didn't know you were takin' 'em.
[She bursts into peals of helpless laughter.] Oh, Gaia. Do y'mean Nasir? That's a Lord of th'Ring thing, isn't it? That's... That's... Priceless. Oh, I'd give anything for that t'stick.
That's just par for the course Oni. I would rather feel something, than feel nothing at all.
And yes, I don't get to get away often, but when I do it's only a couple hours upstate. I don't feel like one of the regular students, and when I go up I stay in a hotel in town. But it helps, and it helps in ways that I can't always explain.
I've balked at some things though. I really do not want to see if I can start picking up items - clothing, jewelry, things like that - and see if I can pick up images of their owners. I've seen those movies, and I have enough trouble keeping out of trouble with the people I know.
[a quick grin and a laugh] Yea, that's from Tolkien alright. Not sure if it will stick, but he seemed like such a stick in the mud when I met him that...
[Oni made a disagreeable noise in the back of her throat.]
So, it's more like a seminar? Or a... Retreat? But for mutants? [A confused look passed over her face, and then the she-wolf shrugged it off.] As long as it's helpin'. That's all that matters.
I can see how that'd be a little overwhelmin'. I mean, how many objects do you come in t'contact with everyday? [Would it be handy? Sure. But it smelled a little too much like what that General had in mind for her, once upon a time, for Oni's liking.] Just take it at your own pace, d'accord?
[Her grin is pure mischievousness; A ragabash would be proud.] Oh, it's gonna stick. If it's th'last thing I do...
Exactly. And even touching specific things that have strong, emotional connections - those are the connections that I just don't have any desire to know about.
Oh man, you aren't going to tell him where it came from, are you? I already dealt with him being all sulky once. If I have to deal with those big, dark eyes giving me the 'sad' look, I don't know what I'll do.
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I remember that storyline so fondly
Ani? Darlin'? I don't think you can call it an "attempt" when he left th'country with you. Maybe he didn't deliver you to th'good General, I'll give him that, but that still doesn't excuse th'fact that he blew up your house and nearly shot me in the fucking face. [It's been years, and she may have
begrudginglyforgiven Wade for that incident, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to remind Ani. Lest she forget.]I suppose so... [Her brow pinches together. She understands the dangers her work involves, and the idea of Ani piggybacking off her pain makes the she-wolf uncomfortable.] I'd feel alot better about it if you could find a way t'tell when something's goin' on without bein' fully immersed in th'experience.
Oh so do I!! <3
[Oh. Oh yes, there was that, too. ALL of that. Ani had the sense to look abashed.]
[Time for a change in subject, right?]
I know. I've been working with some of the students at the school in NY which is how I was able to create shields to begin with. Now I just have to learn to loosen them a bit, or maybe just take some time each day to run through all of them as a mental exercise? And too, I've been better at not forgetting my gloves, and keeping my skin covered. For the most part I mean.
[Nope, not bringing up Rio and Ashley and the costume that wasn't.]
no subject
[And then she can't help but look a little worried. Oni never, ever, ever talks about her PTSD, but there are days when she compulsively reaches out to everyone she knows, making sure they're safe. What Anika is suggesting sounds so similar that she wonders if her friend is suffering from her own form of anxiety.] All of them...? Each day? Maybe it's just me, but that seems like a lot. Are y'sure that's necessary?
[Yes, best not to mention Rio and Ashley and the costume
even if she's already seen the pictures and he's lucky nothing happened or he was going to be buried in that blue, feathered contraption.]no subject
Before it was like I was wrapped in a web full of yarns of light, all chaotic and tangled. I had to learn to shield, there were times I felt I was choking. But now that I've taken classes and practiced, the threads are becoming more orderly. And I'm not touching people very often, so no new threads are really being introduced to the loom. And well, it's something that I feel I need to do. Especially after seeing how you looked after your fight with the Naz-ghoul.
[Ok yes, it was a joke and a play on his name but Ani still hadn't forgiven the strider for ripping into her friend. Not yet she hadn't.]
no subject
Well, I'm glad those classes are payin' off, even if I didn't know you were takin' 'em.
[She bursts into peals of helpless laughter.] Oh, Gaia. Do y'mean Nasir? That's a Lord of th'Ring thing, isn't it? That's... That's... Priceless. Oh, I'd give anything for that t'stick.
no subject
And yes, I don't get to get away often, but when I do it's only a couple hours upstate. I don't feel like one of the regular students, and when I go up I stay in a hotel in town. But it helps, and it helps in ways that I can't always explain.
I've balked at some things though. I really do not want to see if I can start picking up items - clothing, jewelry, things like that - and see if I can pick up images of their owners. I've seen those movies, and I have enough trouble keeping out of trouble with the people I know.
[a quick grin and a laugh] Yea, that's from Tolkien alright. Not sure if it will stick, but he seemed like such a stick in the mud when I met him that...
no subject
So, it's more like a seminar? Or a... Retreat? But for mutants? [A confused look passed over her face, and then the she-wolf shrugged it off.] As long as it's helpin'. That's all that matters.
I can see how that'd be a little overwhelmin'. I mean, how many objects do you come in t'contact with everyday? [Would it be handy? Sure. But it smelled a little too much like what that General had in mind for her, once upon a time, for Oni's liking.] Just take it at your own pace, d'accord?
[Her grin is pure mischievousness; A ragabash would be proud.] Oh, it's gonna stick. If it's th'last thing I do...
no subject
Exactly. And even touching specific things that have strong, emotional connections - those are the connections that I just don't have any desire to know about.
Oh man, you aren't going to tell him where it came from, are you? I already dealt with him being all sulky once. If I have to deal with those big, dark eyes giving me the 'sad' look, I don't know what I'll do.