Im not cleaning up YOUR lube that you DIDNT take away from me off a pillow YOU gave me because you're legit the worst drunk babysitter to ever sit on babies
i still don't think I got it off myself. im gonna be able to slide through vents with ease for days.
[He's just jelly that his dick is just out there, all exposed and lonely all the time. How dare you.]
or, idk, MAYBE you could not let me have weird stuff in there or alternatively put me in a bed LIKE I WOULD HAVE DONE IF YOU WERE THE ONE THAT DRANK ALL THE VODKA BECAUSE IM A BETTER FRIEND
IT LOOKS LIKE A STRESS RELIEF TUBE THAT YOU SQUEEZE AND SHAKE! at least i'm still free to sample every dick out there bc i didn't tie myself down to one
[ WHICH IS WHY. HE NEEDS LUBE. ]
if i put you in my bed you would've freaked out about the spiders :\\\\
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i still don't think I got it off myself. im gonna be able to slide through vents with ease for days.
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i mean i guess it doesnt matter 'cuz YOU AINT BEEN GETTIN DICK LATELY ANYWAY
[Ooooooooooooh she's mad.]
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and not a little thing of it either i want one of those industrial sized buckets BECAUSE I'M GETTING SO MUCH DICK YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
[ Oh no! BFF fight! ]
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imaginary dick doesnt count, chasetopher.
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shut up
you're still the worst friend. worster. badd...est... YOU'RE THE ONE IN TROUBLE NOT ME
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[ Chase, don't bring any weird cut vs uncut dick politics into this argument. ]
next time you pass out in my tub i'm turning on the water
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[He's just jelly that his dick is just out there, all exposed and lonely all the time. How dare you.]
or, idk, MAYBE you could not let me have weird stuff in there or alternatively put me in a bed LIKE I WOULD HAVE DONE IF YOU WERE THE ONE THAT DRANK ALL THE VODKA BECAUSE IM A BETTER FRIEND
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[ WHICH IS WHY. HE NEEDS LUBE. ]
if i put you in my bed you would've freaked out about the spiders :\\\\
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yeah well at least im not chasing after dicks to fill the void oF THE ONE DICK I CAN'T HAVE BECAUSE ITS ATTACHED TO A DUDE THATS STILL ALIVE.
[Low blow, Kenzi. She immediately regrets sending that text.]
im sorry cc that wasnt fair
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🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
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i'm not desperate enough for him
he's BORING
and also?
straight
AND HE KILLED ME