onteamdyson: (71_zpspf9ktrsn)

[personal profile] onteamdyson 2017-03-10 05:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Im not cleaning up YOUR lube that you DIDNT take away from me off a pillow YOU gave me because you're legit the worst drunk babysitter to ever sit on babies

i still don't think I got it off myself. im gonna be able to slide through vents with ease for days.
bastardofipswich: MAGIC (101)

[personal profile] bastardofipswich 2017-03-10 05:15 pm (UTC)(link)
wow kenz YOU'RE WELCOME. my lube's the good stuff
onteamdyson: (Default)

[personal profile] onteamdyson 2017-03-10 05:17 pm (UTC)(link)
And you wasted it. all of it.

i mean i guess it doesnt matter 'cuz YOU AINT BEEN GETTIN DICK LATELY ANYWAY


[Ooooooooooooh she's mad.]
bastardofipswich: MAGIC (!magic: hmmm)

[personal profile] bastardofipswich 2017-03-10 05:25 pm (UTC)(link)
YOU wasted it!! YOU OWE ME NEW LUBE

and not a little thing of it either i want one of those industrial sized buckets BECAUSE I'M GETTING SO MUCH DICK YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW


[ Oh no! BFF fight! ]
onteamdyson: (Kim!...I will DESTROY you!)

[personal profile] onteamdyson 2017-03-10 05:32 pm (UTC)(link)
I OWE YOU NOOOOTHHIIIIIINNNNNGGG

imaginary dick doesnt count, chasetopher.
bastardofipswich: DORMS (TheCovenant2134)

[personal profile] bastardofipswich 2017-03-10 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
oh you're one to talk!
onteamdyson: (64_zpsmngdkn5m)

[personal profile] onteamdyson 2017-03-10 05:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I HAVE CLAIMED ONE DICK OUT OF MILLIONS AND IT IS MY PREFERRED, CHOSEN DICK... its just... not currently available to me :/

shut up

you're still the worst friend. worster. badd...est... YOU'RE THE ONE IN TROUBLE NOT ME
bastardofipswich: DORMS (TheCovenant2156)

[personal profile] bastardofipswich 2017-03-10 05:38 pm (UTC)(link)
you picked a weird dick IT WEARS A SWEATER 24/7 I SAW IT YOU SHOWED ME THE PICS

[ Chase, don't bring any weird cut vs uncut dick politics into this argument. ]

next time you pass out in my tub i'm turning on the water
Edited 2017-03-10 17:39 (UTC)
onteamdyson: (ksx109)

[personal profile] onteamdyson 2017-03-10 05:42 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG ITS NOT WEIRD SHUT UP

[He's just jelly that his dick is just out there, all exposed and lonely all the time. How dare you.]

or, idk, MAYBE you could not let me have weird stuff in there or alternatively put me in a bed LIKE I WOULD HAVE DONE IF YOU WERE THE ONE THAT DRANK ALL THE VODKA BECAUSE IM A BETTER FRIEND
bastardofipswich: MAGIC (!magic: tilt)

[personal profile] bastardofipswich 2017-03-10 05:44 pm (UTC)(link)
IT LOOKS LIKE A STRESS RELIEF TUBE THAT YOU SQUEEZE AND SHAKE! at least i'm still free to sample every dick out there bc i didn't tie myself down to one

[ WHICH IS WHY. HE NEEDS LUBE. ]

if i put you in my bed you would've freaked out about the spiders :\\\\
onteamdyson: (2ksd28)

[personal profile] onteamdyson 2017-03-10 05:48 pm (UTC)(link)
LISTEN, THOSE THINGS ARE VERY SOOTHING, OKAY?

yeah well at least im not chasing after dicks to fill the void oF THE ONE DICK I CAN'T HAVE BECAUSE ITS ATTACHED TO A DUDE THATS STILL ALIVE.


[Low blow, Kenzi. She immediately regrets sending that text.]

im sorry cc that wasnt fair
bastardofipswich: MAGIC (50)

[personal profile] bastardofipswich 2017-03-10 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)
FOR THE LAST TIME. KENZI. I DON'T WANT HIM!!!

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
onteamdyson: (214)

[personal profile] onteamdyson 2017-03-10 05:59 pm (UTC)(link)
methinks the witchling doth protest too much
bastardofipswich: DORMS (TheCovenant2108)

[personal profile] bastardofipswich 2017-03-10 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I DO NOT

i'm not desperate enough for him
he's BORING
and also?
straight
AND HE KILLED ME