tfln

[drunktexting]

the drill, you know it

Comments

Alana Bloom / Hannibal

[guestlectures]

1. Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina

2. No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. I can't work today

3. Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??

1

[rhymeswithcannibal]

I suspect that you didn't intend to send that message to me. And how is Will?

[guestlectures]

Excuse me while I die of mortification. I'm so sorry, Hannibal.

Will is recovering just fine.

[rhymeswithcannibal]

It's quite alright. I can certainly understand why some people attribute a certain dark sense of humor to technology.

However, if you can take time away from tending to our friend, perhaps you will find time to join me for dinner.

[guestlectures]

[but the baby bird, hannibal. she can't just leave him.]

Only if you'll let me sous chef for you

[rhymeswithcannibal]

[But how else will he be able to oh so gently grill her about the baby bird?]

There is never a question of "let." I will also have a bottle of your private reserve waiting.

[guestlectures]

[hannibal you don't want to hear about her plans for conquest


i mean healing. nurturing and caring. you don't want to hear about those plans.]

How can I refuse such a gracious offer? When were you thinking of?

3!!

[sweats]

[ have a delay here for a moment before ]

it was just... really tempting

[ DON'T JUDGE HIM.......... ]

!!!! a wild graham appears

[guestlectures]

Remind me never to leave you alone with a marker again.

:'D i couldn't resist!

[sweats]

[ ok fair ]

at least i didn't make you look like a pirate. it wasn't permanent, was it?

[guestlectures]

I'll let you know after I find something strong enough to get it off.

For the record, I'd have preferred looking like a pirate.

[sweats]

next time then, eye patch guaranteed.

you... haven't happened to take a look in your calendar yet, have you? might've accidentally left some doodles in there

[ he was one man on a one marker mission, apparently ]

2.

[anysay]

I'll be sure to convey your exact reasons to the victim's family.

it's christmas

[guestlectures]

I'm allowed a day off, Jack.

Alana's gift is dbaggery

[anysay]

And this suburban family unit of four was allowed at least another twenty years with their wife and mother, respectively. Shall we ask ourselves whose allowances have been violated more?

r u d e

[guestlectures]

You're not going to guilt me into this. You have others you can call on.

Call a union!!!

[anysay]

Others can't secure me Will Graham's polite cooperation.

3

[cbag]

Now, Doctor Bloom, I am hurt that you would jump to such outlandish conclusions.

[guestlectures]

They aren't outlandish if I know for a fact you were alone with my purse for an hour this morning.

[cbag]

You cannot hold me responsible for your actions, Doctor Bloom.

[guestlectures]

I imagine responsibility isn't a trait you're eager to foster, Doctor Chilton.

[cbag]

[ E X C U S E. ]

And I imagine that you are most mistaken. I have not been in your purse. I would not invade your privacy in that manner.

[ Lies, such lies. ]

3

[windchafing]

Sorry, I might have gotten carried away while doodling.

Re: 3

[guestlectures]

I always wanted a mohawk when I was younger. Next time try one of those.

[windchafing]

*You* wanted a mohawk?