tfln

[drunktexting]

the drill, you know it

Comments

prompto argentum ( final fantasy xv )

[failtography]

A » going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar

B » hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself

C » A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.

D » Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.

E » Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.

F » text him!

E

[engineblade]

I'm touched, really.

[failtography]

As you should be! Can't just mass text these things, you know?

D

[protecting]

Sounds like a personal problem

[failtography]

I'm just here to let you know that you and the rest of the guys should wear something sexy to the funeral.

E, i'm... sorry...

[starscourged]

I'm flattered. I'll trust your judgement in dick selfies implicitly.

you're not sorry

[failtography]

please don't tell me I just sent a mass text

why is your number even in my phone

i am not sorry.

[starscourged]

If the propositions start rolling in, it might have been a mass text.

Did you get the wrong number, perhaps? An easy mistake to make.

[ you know, for someone like Prompto, probably. ]

[failtography]

Idk about you Mister Chancellor but it's really hard to mistype a whole number?? Plus you're listed in here as 'killed a sofa and wore its skin as a trophy' so I guess it wasn't you. Any ideas? ( where the fuck did his phone go last night. )

[starscourged]

I have never in my life done such an disreputable thing to a sofa. All this modern technology, it's too much for an old man to struggle through. Who knows what's happened?

[ Was it Ravus' fault? It could have been Ravus. ]

c

[redsoles]

No, that sounds like death to me.

[failtography]

Yo I notice we have vastly different ideas of what actually sounds like death.

[redsoles]

Heart attack on a plate. It'll ruin pizza for you.

[failtography]

I can't believe this is coming from someone who eats a whole 22" pizza by himself.

[redsoles]

Okay, so, if I did that it would be 2x22" pizzas. + filling.

That's 44 inches of pizza. No-one would withstand that much pizza fatigue.

[failtography]

Sorry, I meant to say 'someone who eats TWO 22" pizzas by himself'. Without sharing, even.

[redsoles]

Two? I don't recall eating two large pizzas. Are you sure?

[failtography]

Pretty sure, unless the extra pizza box in the trash was one they gave you just for decoration. Going senile already, old man?

[redsoles]

Admitting to going through someone's trash now, Argentum? And if I'm an old man then I believe the phrase is "get off my lawn".

[failtography]

Don't need to go through your trash if it's just sitting on top of the bin. These apartments are really cramped together, everybody can see everyone else's.

Wow. Holy crap. You are old. There aren't any lawns here though so would the phrase be updated to "get off my 5 inches of pavement" instead?

[redsoles]

Be honest, you were snooping and all the backtracking in the world can't help you.

I'm not that old! Most likely it would be "get off my doorstep".

[failtography]

Marshal sir I assure you that if I really were snooping I'd find something better to poke my nose in about, Crownsguard's honour.

For example, where the hell does all that pizza go.

D

[blossomblade]

I promise you that you are not actually dying. But. Perhaps a bit of restraint next time?

[failtography]

I'll believe it when I feel it. Then again, passing up any number of 10-gil shots is a crime.

[blossomblade]

Then I guess there's such a thing as a crime of wisdom.