bakerstreet | The Random Scenario Meme 3.0

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The Random Scenario Meme 3.0

THE RANDOM SCENARIO MEME 3.0

- Post your character, name, and series in the subject. Include any preferences as well.
- Go to RNG and enter 1-6 for a scene type, and 1-20 for a scene to play out.

TYPE OF SCENE.
① Action → Gun fights, bar brawls, fights to the death are all possible scenarios.
② Angst → Characters suffer emotionally or physically from relationships breaking up, death, injury, etc. Hurt and comfort themes are included.
③ Crack → Genderswaps, super powers, sudden compulsions are all possible outcomes.
④ Fluff → Something that is devoid of angst. It's light-hearted and might have the overtone of romance.
⑤ Gen → General fun, things that didn't fit in the other categories.
⑥ Sex → First times, kinks, even dubcon are all possible themes of sex related scenarios.
⑦ Your choice → Think of your own scenario, choose one of the above or make a combo even!

ACTION.
① Zombies → It's the zombie apocalypse, lock and load!
② Bar brawl → You had one too many drinks, said something wrong, and now you're being asked to take it outside.
③ Chase → You're caught in a high speed chase.
④ Gun fight → You're caught in a big shoot-out.
⑤ Fight with a friend → You're fighting with a friend, all out.
⑥ Interrogation → You're being interrogated for some offense you've done.
⑦ Aliens → Aliens are attacking and you're not going to take your probe laying down!
⑧ Final battle → This is it. The battle that will end all the fighting for you. Will you win? Will you get that peace you want?
⑨ Training → You're not actually fighting, just training for the inevitable.
⑩ No hope → You know this fight has no hope. It's not going to end well for anyone involved, but you can't turn away.
⑪ Sneaking in → You're stealing a diamond or sneaking in to kick some bad guy butt, but whatever it is, you have to practice stealth.
⑫ Blue wire → You're faced with a bomb that needs to be disarmed.
⑬ Fight for honor → You've been disgraced or someone you care about has, so it's time to fight for honour.
⑭ Showdown → Time for a cowboy-style showdown. Whoever draws the fastest wins.
⑮ War → You're caught in the middle of a war here. Remember to keep your chin up and keeping fighting.
⑯ Apocalypse → The apocalypse finally happened and now you're left to scavenge and fight for whatever is left.
⑰ Sabotage → It's time to sabotage someone's plan! How is entirely up to you. Do you set up a bomb in their toilet? Do you double cross them at the last minute?
⑱ Big damn hero → You know you have to handle this one alone, so that means disarming or knocking unconscious the person who wants to join you.
⑲ Fight club → You know the rules... you're in an underground fighting ring and you're fighting with all you've got.
⑳ Threaten → You've just been sent here to rough them up a little, threaten them into behaving.

ANGST.
① Injury / illness → Your character has become injured or ill! To what extent is the mun's choice.
② Last moments → You character has been gravely injured and this is their last chance to say their last words.
③ Depression → Your character is depressed, what actions they take is up to the mun.
④ Betrayed → You character has been betrayed by the other. How do they react?
⑤ Tortured → Your character is being tortured and needs rescuing or at least a sympathetic ear to help him through it.
⑥ Jealousy → Your character is feeling jealous and must deal with it, how will they do it?
⑦ Breakup! → This relationship has gone as far as it can, it's time to breakup.
⑧ Broken → For whatever reason, the character is broken, mentally or or physically.
⑨ Fight → You can't even be in the same room as your friend or lover without arguing anymore.
⑩ Lost → You lost the biggest fight of your life and now all you can do is try to pick up the pieces.
⑪ Worst nightmare → Whatever you fear the most is now real or maybe you're just trapped in a dream together, but whatever it is, it feels too real.
⑫ Addicted → You're addicted to something, alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever. It's destroying your life and you can't do anything to stop it.
⑬ Hurt you → You're being forced to hurt someone you love either by betraying them or even being forced to shout things you don't mean. It's for their own good in the end though.
⑭ Separation → You were forced to leave this person for their own safety and while you've been miserable without them, you really didn't mean to run into them again... maybe it was by accident or you were watching them from afar this whole time.
⑮ Becoming a monster → You are slowly changing, becoming a monster: vampire, zombie, demon, something you can't recover from and no-one can help you.
⑯ Frozen → You are entirely helpless, frozen, to stop some kind of disaster.
⑰ Prison → You were very bad and now it's time to pay the price by turning yourself in or maybe the law just finally caught up to you.
⑱ Fear → You're not sure why, but you are suddenly terrified and you can't deal with it. You need help.
⑲ Hated → You are now hated by the person you loved the most.
⑳ Down and out → You're living on the streets, you've hit rock bottom, and you don't know what to do.

CRACK.
① Sexswap → Uh-oh, you're suddenly the opposite sex!
② Forced confessions → No matter what it is and no matter how hard you resist, you're going to be compelled to spill some deep dark secret!
③ Mind-reading → You've suddenly got the ability to read minds!
④ Animal → You're suddenly part animal or transformed into an animal!
⑤ Awkward pick-up lines → You're compelled to use bad pickup lines on whoever is closest!
⑥ Back in School / Graduated → You're suddenly back in school! Or if you were already in it, you've aged and long since graduated!
⑦ Vampires, werewolves, and zombies, oh my! → You're suddenly a vampire, werewolf, or zombie! Maybe even a demon or a devil, whatever creepy crawly you can think of. What do you do now?
⑧ Ghost → You're suddenly a ghost or at least invisible. What are you going to do with this new ability?
⑨ Awkward conversations → So did you just fart or what? Any conversation goes, as long as it's embarrassing and awkward.
⑩ Crossdressing → For whatever reason, you're suddenly dressed in clothes of the opposite sex.
⑪ Suddenly naked → Oops! Your clothes are suddenly gone.
⑫ Suddenly a kid → You're a kid again! Have fun with that second childhood.
⑬ Fortune cookie → You've suddenly received a note with something that will happen in the future, either precise or vague.
⑭ Super power → And suddenly you're like Superman! Any power goes.
⑮ Bodyswap → Somehow you've changed bodies with the other person.
⑯ Back in time → Somehow, you wound up in the past again. Do you try to correct something or just sit and wait for time to jump? Maybe it jumps to various points in your life or maybe you actually think you're back in the day. Have fun, run wild with the idea!
⑰ To the future → Is it everything you've dreamed? Is it horrible? Whatever happens, you're here to witness what happens to you in the future. Either you take the place of your future self or you're just there to watch. Might cause some confusion if people start seeing double though...
⑱ Angels, mermaids, and fairies! → You're not necessary something dark or evil. You're just something different. How do you deal?
⑲ Locked in a closet → For some reason, you're locked up in a closet with someone else. Do you make nice and try to figure your way out or what?
⑳ Finger trap → You're caught in a Chinese finger trap... with somebody else! You can't figure out how to get loose either... have fun with that.

FLUFF.
① Cuddling → For whatever reason, characters feel like being close and cuddling.
② Pillow talk → After the main event, characters are up for some pillow talk.
③ Celebration → Anniversary or some other big event is taking place and characters want to celebrate!
④ Love confession → Someone has finally decided to confess their love and today is the day!
⑤ Appreciation → You feel the need to show appreciation for that person closest to you, even if it's just a pat on the back.
⑥ Apologies → You made a mistake and now it's time to make it up in some way you know the other can't refuse!
⑦ Get back together → Why did you break up again exactly? Whatever the reason, it was a huge mistake and you both know you can work through it.
⑧ Date night → You've planned for a wonderful night together and you can't wait to get it started.
⑨ Family → You've either found out you're pregnant or you've already got that addition to your family.
⑩ Marriage → You're just about to get hitched or maybe you're enjoying your honeymoon. Maybe you've been together for years now! Whatever the case, it's time for that next big step.
⑪ Meeting again → It's time for that happy reunion finally!
⑫ Love at first sight → For whatever reason, you are now insanely in love with the first person you set eyes on.
⑬ Flirtation → You can't resist to do a little bit of harmless flirtation all of a sudden.
⑭ In the snow → Look outside! It's a winter wonderland, so why not go out and play in it?
⑮ Engagement → You've planned it all out and now it's time to finally pop the question.
⑯ Friendly games → You've set up the game station or board games for a friendly competition!
⑰ Gift → Time to give that special someone a gift just because.
⑱ Recovery → You're taking care of someone who's just recovered from some illness or injury.
⑲ Healing → Time to help mend that someone who's been through hell and back.
⑳ Better than ever → You've finally got everything you've ever wanted here. What is your ideal life and who does it include?

GEN.
① Nice meeting you → It's your first time meeting this person! You bumped into each other on the street, in a bar, at work... whatever!
② Drinks → You're out for drinks! Or just chilling at home with some beers. Wherever!
③ Lost → You're lost and you kind of need help finding your way to where you're going. A little help with directions?
④ Costume party → You're at a costume party, both of you are wearing masks. Do you keep the anonymity or take it off and see whose company you've been enjoying?
⑤ Wrong number → Oops, actually you didn't mean to call that person...
⑥ Drunk → You're already drunk! Drunk dialing, stumbling into someone, showing up unexpected... what type of drunk are you anyway? Aggressive, loving, happy? How does the other react?
⑦ Old friends → you haven't seen this person in a long time!
⑧ Rivals → you're suddenly rivals! Or maybe you have been all along...
⑨ Problems → you've got a problem with each other, just got in a huge fight, whatever. Try to work it out!
⑩ What are your intentions... → This person? They're dating a close friend, family member, etc. You need to find out if they're going to hurt them! Or you need to discuss your friend/family's dating choice.
⑪ I saw you → you saw the other person doing something bad and you need to confront them about it.
⑫ Sorry but no → the other person has feelings that you just don't share. They don't necessarily have to be romantic... maybe you just don't agree with their sudden desire to quit their job and start a business making tiny, fuzzy teddy bears.
⑬ My hero → you need to tell this person how much they mean to you. They've been your best friend or your role model your whole life and they need to know.
⑭ Enabler → you're enabling the other (or each other) to do something bad, really bad. Addiction, stealing, killing, or just any other self-destructive behavior.
⑮ Cooking → Time for an impromptu cooking lesson!
⑯ Oh, sure, I remember you... → It's that awkward moment when someone comes up and seems to know you, but you have no idea who they even are!
⑰ Rescue! → One of you was in trouble, but you came to the rescue!
⑱ Boss → One of you works under the other. Is your relationship good? Are you scheming things? Or do you hate each other?
⑲ Perfect crime → You and the other person have just pulled off the perfect crime... or you're planning to! What are you doing? The heist of the century, an assassination?
⑳ Movies → movie night! Maybe it's a sleepover. Whichever the case, it's time to eat a lot and have fun.

SEX.
① First time → it's your first time together or your first time ever! Enjoy the awkward times!
② Bondage → You and your partner decide to experiment a little with ropes or handcuffs or whatever you'd like to tie your partner up with.
③ Rough / Aggressive → Your characters want it rough.
④ Romantic → Slow and gentle, meaningful, that's how characters want it.
⑤ Dubcon → Character A wants Character B and it doesn't really matter if Character B wants it as bad or not.
⑥ In public → Characters feel like taking a risk and doing it in a public place.
⑦ Roleplay → Naughty nurse fetish? Pirate kink? You and your partner decide to try it out now!
⑧ Healing → You've both fought hard or gone through a rough time and it's time to get some R&R in.
⑨ Last time → This is the last time you're going to this because you're breaking up or maybe your lover is running off to sacrifice their lives in some heroic way. The possibilities are endless, but you better make this one count.
⑩ No strings attached → You're just friends with benefits. Nothing wrong with that, right?
⑪ Anonymous → You met in a restroom or bar, any location of your choosing, but you don't even know each other's names.
⑫ Toys → You're eager to try something new, so why not toys?
⑬ Aphrodisiacs → You've been slipped a strong aphrodisiac somehow and now you absolutely cannot control yourself.
⑭ Show → You're putting on a show by either doing it right in the club or filming it for a bunch of people.
⑮ Ménage à trois → It's time for that threesome you've always dreamed of.
⑯ Non-penetrative → Frottage, handjobs, whatever you want to try out.
⑰ Controlled → You are under mind control and must do whatever your lover asks of you.
⑱ Hate sex → It's not just rough or aggressive, you absolutely cannot stand each other.
⑲ Extreme → Fisting, knife play, whatever you can think of so long as it tests the boundaries.
⑳ Fantasy → This is just a fantasy, a dream, and you know it, but what is your ideal fantasy and how willing is your partner?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

"Just Lasulahn is fine," he says with a little exasperation, although it is at least with a goodnatured tone. Your Worship was an imposing title, as much as 'Herald of Andraste' (Lasulahn wasn't sure if he was the Herald of anything, much less the figurehead of a religion he'd never followed). But, so many people insisted on calling him that, he'd given up for the most part. Cassandra and Josephine said it was 'good for morale'. Maybe it just helped people focus on something other than the fact he was a Dalish elf.

Krem is handsome - Lasulahn hadn't missed that when the Chargers' lieutenant had shown up outside the Haven Chantry doors. And he had the added benefit of being quite impressive, but certainly less imposing than Bull. He'd not gotten to talk to Krem and Bull too much, but Lasulahn had enjoyed the few conversations they were able to have.

The Inquisitor is rather small - smaller than most people expect, considering the impressive titles lauded on him. A slight frame and a height shorter than most human men meant that Krem certainly would have knocked him back, if not down entirely. He chuckles at the thought. "I wasn't looking either, obviously. Ah? No, no- I use these halls to slip away when I can, occasionally." He holds a finger to his lips. "Just ah, don't tell Bull, if you don't mind. I wouldn't want him to have to fetch me like a nursemaid every time someone wanted my attention."

He considers carrying on his way, but as usual, offering his aid seems almost a compulsion. The chance to get to know Bull's right hand man didn't seem a bad alternative to a quiet evening hiding away. "Would you like help? Looking for the recruit, I mean."

"I couldn't-" He starts, ducking his head a little, though the elf's tone gets him to lift his head, a small smile, "Not in public anyways. Chief'd box me for sure. That and the look your advisors would give me. The ex-Tevinter soldier. I'd be the new Dorian Pavus. Next they'd make up stories about how even the Soporati can do minor spells and are bewitching the herald." There were rumors all around about any sort of company the inquisitor held. Whispers of things about the chief, of Dorian, of Cassandra. Josephine. The whole of Skyhold, waiting for one rumor or another to bare fruit.

"Crazy the things people make up when they have too much time on their hands. All these gossips, should be put to work. No one needs eyes following them around like they follow you." He's sure he's preaching to the choir, but at the offer of help he smiles, shrugging.

"I've all but given up, but you're welcome to. I wouldn't mind the company. It's rather cold out anyways, conversation will keep my mind off it."

"It was worth a try," he says, in mock lament. "Perhaps if everyone else didn't insist on calling me that, too." At least the Iron Bull could get away with calling him 'boss'. He turns to walk the direction Krem had been heading, allowing the other man to go first.

"And I had thought Varric was creative," he says with a laugh. "The rumours these people come up are remarkable. You know something is off when the rumour that you were handed out of the Fade itself by the Bride of the Maker is one of the more tame things about you that's circulating."

He's getting used to it, even if he doesn't particularly care for it. It didn't help that sometimes his advisors circulated rumours on purpose to further their cause.

"Oh, that's right. It's much warmer in Tevinter, isn't it?" Ever since Dorian had told him Tevinter wasn't all blood magic and slavers (although that still seemed to be most of it), Lasulahn had been fascinated by the enigmatic nation.

He doesn't want to be disrespectful, though he doubts the other man will care. It's an interesting thing, rising far above your station. Krem himself as a mercenary had a far better life now than he did in Tevinter, on the edge of slavery or starvation before he had joined the military. He wondered what it must be like, suddenly having all those eyes on you, expecting brilliance and experience far beyond your years and humble beginnings. It would be too much to ask though. Perhaps later, but for now he just settles into a walk, easy and calm in a hope to at least give the inquisitor what he wanted in the far, quiet halls of the hold.

"It's like the rumors that start to circulate when the chief comes to town. He sleeps with someone and then the whole place is abuzz. You should hear some of the things they come up with. None of it is for polite conversation." He could probably ask him about it, the chief that is, get a good laugh out of the both of them.

He shivers as they pass a window, glancing out to look at the snow falling again, nodding at the question. "It's not as warm near the border, but it doesn't get like this. We're in the mountains...even traveling the chargers aren't usually marching in snow. Makes me wonder how your lot do it, the Dalish I mean. All I can think of is huddling around a fire with an animal skin trying not to freeze to death."

Lasulahn laughs at that. It's a gentle sort of sound. "Oh, I can imagine," he muses. "It seems he made good acquaintances with some of the Chantry ladies, before we even left Haven." It was difficult not to overhear the Chantry sisters tittering something about 'thanking him' for some such that Bull had did. And that she had 'thanked him all night' or something equally ridiculous. Accidentally overhearing that had left Lasulahn's cheeks colored for a good five minutes after.

"That does explain some of the rumors I've heard." Not that any were spoken when people realized the Inquisitor was around, but he'd had an easier time of it, when people just thought he was a random 'knife ear' wandering about camp.

The mental image Krem has is one that makes Lasulahn loft his brows. "We have blankets, Lieutenant," he says gently. Granted, it was mostly by trade because they wandered too often to have sheep or farm linen, but really, they weren't savages. And while that might not have been Krem's intention, Lasulahn is so used to people assuming the Dalish are just that, that the response is all but automatic. At least he doesn't sound offended by the notion.

"My clan primarily roamed the borders of Nevarra and Antiva in the Free Marches, so wandering in the snow wasn't really common for us, either." He looks outside as they pass the window.

"I wouldn't doubt some of those templar recruits we've got were in on that action as well. He doesn't discriminate. Though I'll bet that lot were a bit more discrete than the chantry ladies." Krem is casual when he talks about the Iron Bull's conquests, having been around him so often that his endevours don't fluster him as much any more. Of course if it were him though, then those tanned cheeks of his would flush pretty just like the inquisitors.

Though, at his comment, Krem looks over, surprised and suddenly lifts his hands, trying to explain, "What? No, no I was talking about me. I'm sure you've got blankets. I just think of the commander's big fur he's got on his shoulders when I'm cold. Never had that sort growing up." He's well aware of the relations between Tevinter and the Dalish, but he hadn't meant to make the other man assume he had those same ideas. Neither of them seemed the worlds perfect poster child of their nation in any case. "It's enough to think about it when you're cold anyways. Especially on the coast where it's always raining. Seems we get sent there the most. The whole troop sloshes back home with water in their boots the long trip home."

And after it's to the tavern to warm up, find a nice chair and relax with a bottle or a pint.

"Nevarra's a little cooler but I can imagine that Antiva was nice if you didn't bother the locals so much. I wouldn't want to tangle with the crows if my life depended on it, though I suppose one day I might have to."

"I suppose ah- whatever he enjoys," he says, cheeks slightly flushing now at the idea of it. He shakes his head a bit. Bull's, and apparently qunari in general, had a very unique approach to sex. Certainly, there were plenty of people who had casual encounters, but the qunari were a whole new level of detached. To someone who was a hopeless romantic, like the Inquisitor (not that he announces it), it all seemed kind of...lonely. But Bull seemed to enjoy himself, so Lasulahn supposed that was the important part.

"Oh!" His cheek colors a bit darker in embarrassment, and he laughs at himself a bit sheepishly. "I'm sorry! I misunderstood. I'm so used to having to explain-- which, makes sense. It seems most people have never even seen the Dalish, so..."

"The Storm Coast is admittedly not one of my favorite places to have business," he admits. "Seems I always feel damp for a week after." Crestwood hadn't been much better, when it seemed to have rained a whole week. "We only trade with small settlements that are willing to trade with us, wherever we go. It's not in an apostate elf's best interest to 'bother the locals'." He gives a wry little smile at that. "Ah, yes, the Crows." One had rested at their camp briefly, a long time ago. As with many people he met, Lasulahn had been fascinated by the woman's stories. "We seem to have enough contacts in the Crows, and stay out of their way enough that they haven't bothered us." He hopes that trend continues.

"It's a long list, I assure you. At least you don't have to camp with him all the time. He's not very quiet either. The big ass." He had no shame, which he's sure was very much like most Qunari. Even if The Iron Bull carried himself much differently than many of his race, that was a similarity.

Still, he smiles at the misunderstanding now that he's sure the Inquisitor doesn't think he's a huge dick. "Don't apologize, I only got my first taste of Dalish culture when 'Dalish' joined the chargers anyways. I try to keep myself educated, but she likes to pick on human men too much, I figure you're the safer man to ask questions. Less likely to skewer me in my sleep." Though he supposes he shouldn't underestimate the man either. Despite his sweet face he was rather good as a leader in battle. Or at least, he needed to be and so he was.

"Tell me about it. Though I'll take the rain over the snow. Sinks right down in your bones." He settles his shoulders at the thought, rubbing his hands together. "You don't happen to use your magic like that when it gets too cold, do you? I hear Dorian complain about the cold, makes me wonder why he doesn't just warm his hands. He should be capable. Or is that too mundane, you think?" Not like anyone in their company would care much, what with all the apostate mages around and the state of the circle. Not like anyone would complain with a mage as the figurehead.

The flush in the elf's cheeks remain as he tries very hard to not imagine having to put up with that. "I'm grateful for that," he says, tone a little higher than normal. He clears his throat and looks around, realizing he hadn't exactly been paying attention to where they were walking, though he's distracted again before he can ask where Krem might have checked for the recruit.

Lasulahn is quite used to fielding curious questions about the Dalish, and with as curious as he is, it seems only a fair trade. Ignorance about the elvhen was quite understandable. Most clans made it a point to stay as far from humans as possible. The Lavellans were a rare, if not unique exception. "You can ask me whatever you'd like," he says graciously, with a warm smile. "I don't make a habit of 'skewering' my friends, no." Including the handsome ones. Not that he would say such aloud.

"I love the snow," the elf says, tone briefly almost dreamy, before returning to something normal. "It's beautiful. Although I quite had my fill of it, between Haven and here." Wounded, exhausted of mana and stamina both, trudging through the high snow had taken all of his energy. Not to mention his battle robes hadn't really been made for the cold. (He'd rectified that as soon as they were settled in to Skyhold, though.)

Lasulahn gives Krem a little grin. "Dorian just likes to complain," he says, though it's a fond tone that he takes. The mage pauses in their walk, waiting for Krem to stop too, before he raises a hand to his cheek - not quite touching, but the other man would be able to feel warmth radiating. "It's possible," he says, and continues his pace. "Hot and cold - although really, I can do little else with blizzard magics." A singularly useless talent, to be able to make ones' hands cold.

Krem can't help but enjoy the look on his face, laughing outright. "If we're on the march together I'll remind you to pitch your tent far enough away from his. Not that you'd miss it." When Bull pitches a tent anywhere it's not something you can really ignore. It sort of stands out. "Like his pants, most everything he does is loud. If he wore shirts I'm sure they'd be in plaidweave."

Being Tevinter, it was hard to gain any sort of knowledge about Dalish clans anyways. They had good reason to stay far away from the border. While as citizens, his family had struggled to stay out of slavery, an elf wouldn't have stood much a chance unless they showed any talent for magic. "Well, so long as you'll correct me if I say anything off. I know how that is, people skirting around trying to be polite and curious. Helps if you're just honest, on both sides." Unless it was really off putting. Krem's had all sorts of questions, and not specifically about Tevinter. He can accept someone willing to learn though, and hoped that was the case for Lasulahn as well. "You can ask me anything you'd like too, I won't mind."

He had just been about to agree that while very cold, snow was beautiful, but his walking companion had stopped, practically touching his face and the warmth in his hands, radiating from it was almost enough for him to raise his own and press them to his face. "What I'd give for a talent like that." His father might not be a slave either, but not everything was magically fixed when you were a mage in Tevinter. He supposed it was rather foolish to think so. "Be careful or you'll get everyone wanting to hold your hands." He smiles and dips his head when he says it, realizing that might could be taken as a pass, though he hadn't truly meant it as such.

"Ahh, that damned recruit...Wonder where he even went off too. I'm half ready to just give up." He manages a moment later, trying not to look too flustered.

Alright, now Krem is just teasing him, he's sure. Not that such a thought does anything to lessen the pink that has flushed up to his ears. Krem's laughter makes him chuckle too.

"It's difficult to offend me," he says, and pauses for just a beat. "I think, at least."

The Dalish mage had always been respectful as he could, dealing with others, although occasionally he did get too curious - he had managed to annoy Varric twice by probing too much out of simple interest in the man's life and his stories. He'd learned after that, to not pry too much. "Dorian has told me a little, but- I imagine your experiences were very different."

Krem had already told him a little about his past, and considering that versus the son of a magister, well.

"It certainly has its uses."

The idea that what Krem said could be taken as an insult seems to sail right over Lasulahn's head. Instead, he holds his hand out as an offer. "Are your hands cold?" He smiles gently. "If he's doing this well to not be found, I'm sure he's either working, or needs the break. Perhaps you'd like to find a fireplace, instead?"

"You shouldn't be too open about that. Some might make it a game." While he wouldn't unless the other man knew it was all in fun, he isn't sure that he could play that game the same way he did with the Iron Bull. Perhaps in small doses, but he'd rather not offend him really. It was too big of a reward to see that smile to want to try and get a frown instead.

"I can assure you they were. Not that I'm jealous, I rather like my life as it is now. Good fights, a good cause behind him, not much else a man could ask for in a life, really."

He idles in the hall, considering the question of his hands and lets his eyes settle on that smile of his, on his outstretched hand. "Usually I'd settle for a bottle, but on a day like this? I think I'd prefer the fire." He almost hesitates before he takes the slighter man's hand, his own cold despite their walking, and he sighs at the feeling of his warm fingers against his skin. "That's good...I mean- Your hands are warm. Thank you." He stumbles out, suddenly looking anywhere else but at him. Idiot.

He considers the interactions he's seen between Krem and Bull. "A good game of it too, I'll wager," he chuckles, just imagining the sort of nonsense they might come up with. But, Bull had been largely respectful to him - occasionally a bit stern, but never playfully crass as he was with his own Chargers. And Krem had been the model of respectful. It was refreshing, because the lieutenant's manners seemed far more genuine than most - especially the Orlesian dignitaries he'd met (even Vivienne, despite the fact she was one of his inner circle).

Lasulahn is quite sure that he wouldn't envy either Krem's nor Dorian's childhood, but he doesn't say that for fear of coming across as rude. He knows Dorian is fiercely proud of his country, even if he doesn't hold fondness for how many things are done. He's not quite sure about Krem's opinion on Tevinter.

"There's no need to thank me," he chuckles. The idea that this could be seen as a romantically affectionate gesture seems to elude him. Instead he focuses carefully on channeling the warmth of fire magic through his palm, being sure to contain it to not become too hot. He thinks to steer them towards the Great Hall, where they wouldn't be terribly out of the way, but it hopefully wouldn't be too busy, either.

At least, until a notably Orlesian voice beckons from behind him. "You there- rabbit! Yes, rabbit!" The Inquisitor's hand tightens noticeably in Krem's for a split moment, before growing cold, the gentle magic flickering out. He pulls his hand away to turn and address the man speaking to him, standing a little straighter.

Oblivious to who he was speaking to (clearly new to Skyhold, likely visiting), the masked man continues. "Have you seen a girl? She's your kind, with red hair?"

Maybe he would see if Krem wasn't terribly opposed to that room he had been headed to before, after all.

The offensive nickname gets Krem to turn before Lavellan had, raising an eyebrow and assessing the man before them. He had said he wasnt easily offended but it was obvious a nerve or two was touched.

His hand strays to the sword hilt at his side, for a little show of the potential brute force, to get feathers ruffled and rests his weight on that side, nodding to the man.

"His worship is clearly busy, and even if he wasn't, he isn't some pet to call and ask favors of. Perhaps it would be best to apologize, Inquisitor Lasuhlan Lavellan might forget your horrible manners if you make it pretty enough." He says calmly, his protection and offense at Lasuhlan's behalf unbidden but he felt in necessary.

"Th-- what? Oh! Oh-- Your Worship--" The man postures with panicked apologies, and by the end of it Lasulahn merely raises his hand dismissively. "You might consider your words before assuming someone is your lesser based on the shape of their ears, serah," he says, forgiving. It was perhaps odd, the difference in the command of his tone when he spoke as Inquisitor, and when he was simply talking to his friends and companions. "Ah, yes, of course Your Worship, and may I--" "If you'll excuse me," the Inquisitor interrupts. "I'm attending to some other business. I'm sure we shall meet again."

And with that, he nods to Krem. "As you were saying?" and motions them away from the main hall. Out of sight and earshot, he sighs, and then chuckles. "Thank you," he tells Krem with a warm smile. "There is somewhere I like to go, that has no visitors - and happens to have a fireplace. Unless that pint is looking more tempting, now."

Krem admittedly could barely keep a straight face. He had wanted to smile. There was always something so good about seeing the fear of the maker in someones eyes, even through a mask. When they turned the corner, he shoots the other man a grin. "He looked like he could have shit himself, I almost feel sorry for him. Asshole."

Though at the offer he perks up a little, an actual invitation of somewhere with just the other man was...a surprise, honestly. He didn't think himself very close to him, even if he wouldn't mind talking with him more. Just, he didn't expect much above his station. That was Bull's territory. He was a good soldier and listened to his comrades, and that was all he could expect for himself he assumed. "If you're offering, I can't say no. Besides, if I get to maybe hear you use that tone again, it'd be better than a pint." The Inquisitor ripping someone a new one was perhaps a new favorite of his.

The elf couldn't help but but laugh, almost a giggle. "That wasn't too harsh, was it?" he asks. "Josephine will kill me if I anger any dignitaries." A thoughtful pause. "Although I suppose he might be too worried that he called the Inquisitor 'rabbit', to make a complaint." Still, one never knew with nobles. One of them had insulted him, then complained to the ambassador that the Inquisitor hadn't responded well.

Lasulahn looks back to Krem. "Well, you can," he clarifies, just in case Krem thinks that he would lord his title over someone just to force them into spending time with him, as that absolutely wasn't the case. He's barely comfortable using his title to cow someone when they're in the wrong, as the man just before had been. He'd never been particularly good at being firm, however diplomatic he was, but now he'd begun to perfect the balance of assertive and conciliatory. The role of Inquisitor rather called for it, lest the Inquisition simply be walked on. His advisors could only do so much.

The room is at the top of one of the towers, his favorite spot. One window overlooked the Frostbacks, and the other, the garden. Snow and dying sunlight filter in through a rather large hole that has yet to be patched, but the bed and fireplace are out of the way of the small drift of snow that has collected in the corner. Two books sit on the bed, and there's a soft fur rug in front of the fireplace: an indication this room was used at least occasionally.

"I wouldn't say so. I've punched people for less." Usually he's drunk when it's 'for less', but he figures he doesn't have to mention that. "If you don't slap their hands they'll never stop trying to walk over you. If Josephine has a problem I'm sure you can just dip your head and apologize. She'd probably fall for that one easily enough." He can imagine being inquisitor he could get away with it too. And that face of his would make it all the more easier.

He follows easily enough though, curious as he's lead up to the tower, the room a little chilled with the lack of a fire going just yet, but he's sure it'd warm up eventually. Still, he's cold and it shows now that they're high in the tower. "You do some reading up here? It's got a nice view aside from the chill. Must be beautiful at night when the sky is clear." All those stars with that nice hole in the ceiling to show it off. He takes a few steps further in, rubbing his hands together again and nods towards the fire, "You think you could get that going? I might freeze my ass off if it stays like this."

The idea of Krem punching that Orlesian man was rather amusing, and he entertains the mental image for a few moments. "I think she had the same reaction I did last time, when someone called me 'knife ear', so maybe I'm safe."

Getting the fire going is Lasulahn's priority. No sooner has Krem begun his request than the mage has made a graceful gesture towards the hearth, and flames spring up, burning warmly on their own, until they catch the logs already there.

"It is beautiful. And there's just enough lack of roof to not make me nervous." He chuckles, not really thinking about the fact that to Krem, having a roof might be more comfortable than not having one. "Oh - when I can. It's been so long, I forgot what I was reading." A glance towards the bed.

Swords & Shields, volumes two and three.

Oh. Different topic! "It's not too cold is it? Will you be warm enough with the fire?"

"That's a priority for most anyways, that you're safe. I'm sure if you flexed your inquisitor muscles every now and then sticking up for yourself then no one would have much of a problem. The Commander might even commend you for it." He's sure it was a little harder being the commander of an army trying to put the fear of the maker in people when their leader had such a pretty face. Not that he didn't have any strengths, but with an elf at the head, he's sure it was easy for their enemies to forget.

He rubs his hands together and glances with him, curiously following his gaze and tries to hide that he's done it when it's so obvious that he was changing the subject. It's hard to hide his smile though.

"I'll be warm enough. If I need anything else maybe your books can help." He teases, because maker if he can help it. His grin splits through the harsh line he'd been holding and hopes that he isn't offending or embarrassing him too much. "Was the first one too enticing? Or did you just borrow it from the Seeker?"

The Inquisitor chuckles quietly. "He might," he answers. Creators knew Cullen had enough on his plate without having to insist to every odd noble to stop calling the Inquisitor a 'rabbit', whether to his face or not. And certainly many wouldn't consider Lasulahn Lavellan himself to be particularly threatening. He was a waif of a man, even being of a race known for their slight builds. Being a mage, and being his clan's first, there was not much in his life that had required any real amount of strength.

Still, mages were regarded with a sense of fear for their gifts, those without the leash of the Circle perhaps more so. And even if his own magical gifts were far more defensive than offensive, there were wild rumours to make up anything he lacked in intimidating sort of skill. The Inquisitor has definitely heard more than one supposed tale of his own exploits that have made him laugh aloud with their absurdity.

Lasulahn himself preferred not to be seen as intimidating. Most of his work was with common folk, or potential allies, and he would much rather be respected for diplomacy than might.

At the comment, the Inquisitor startles not unlike a halla caught unawares, and a bright flush creeps from his cheeks all the way to his ears. For all he'd insisted that Cassandra had no need to be embarrassed, here he was being exactly that.

"I-- both," he manages, and the statement comes out like a confession. "I borrowed them because Cassandra enjoyed them so much and-- well." He gestures helplessly to the fact that he's clearly already read one, and has now moved on with enough enthusiasm that he borrowed the third in advance.

Strength in the physical sense anyways. Krem knew that to build a good army you needed strengths of all kinds, which was why for one that Dalish was an essential part of their team. Her and her aiming crystal anyways.

Still, at the look that he gets at his comment, Krem barks out a laugh because his face is precious, and he isn't sure he's ever seen the man blush so deeply. It was bleeding to the tips of his ears. "You don't have to be so embarrassed. I'm sure I've heard worse things come out of the chief's mouth than Varric could ever write in one of those books." He's a little curious though, taking a few steps forward and puts his hand on the spine of the book, taking it to then sit in front of the fire, "You mind? Perhaps I should read it aloud. It will be an experience."

Here he is, Lord Inquisitor Lavellan, leader of the most powerful force in all of Thedas, bright red and hiding his face in his hands over a smutty romance novel.

"You're awful," he says in exasperation, voice muffled by his hands, although there's no real bite in his tone. He realises as he looks up that Krem is already settling in front of the fire with one of the books. Shamefaced, he sits cross-legged on the soft rug next to him. "If you-- if you like," he manages.

This is not what he thought he would be doing with his afternoon. Well - not with Krem in the room, anyway.

"But you're not stopping me. Am I awful if you're encouraging my behavior? I think not." he grins as the inquisitor sits across from him in front of the fire, resting one hand to lean on next to him while he turns the book open in his lap, not caring to start from the beginning.

"And they came together like the clashing of their swords, all heat and tempered steel turned soft-" he coughs, unsure of himself if he could continue to read it clearly out loud if it got steamy. He might embarrass himself before he could get the other man to smack him to stop to save them both. "As lips met, their armor clasps were unloosened, belts unnotchd and boots slipped against the cold stone in their haste." He pauses, curious and turns a page with a raised eyebrow, choking on a laugh.

"Varric...Does he usually use such colorful language? I mean, The shaft of his broad sword paled in comparison to his weeping cock."

Of course.

Lasulahn gets the feeling that there's likely one scene in this particular book, and Krem has flipped right to it, started reading it aloud--

The Inquisitor seems to shrink into himself, arms wrapped around his legs and head hiding tucked against his knees. "I don't know," he says helplessly from his curled position. Even if his face is hidden, the tips of his ears are still red.

He thinks perhaps the worst part of all of this is the fact that he's paying more attention to the man's voice than the embarrassment of being read this sort of thing aloud. If anything, he wouldn't entirely mind hearing more of it, if Krem's reading--

Oh Creators, no, what a horribly inappropriate thing to think--

"This is the only romance series he's written," he mumbled, although he might not be entirely audible.

He's not sure he can ever look Cassandra or Varric in the face again.

Or Krem.

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