bakerstreet | ( picture prompt meme )

?

[A relief?]

If you say so. Not like I was planning on doing that, either. [Who does?]

[ She bumps Kanan's shoulder lightly with her own. ] I'm joking, so don't give me that look.

But it's true that I was really super-nervous, and wasn't sure what I should do next... so in that regard, it made things a bit easier. [ ... Maybe not that much of a joke, then. ]

[An observation she makes, too, but doesn't voice.]

I wouldn't know what to do either.

[She deliberates over her next words briefly.] Did I make you feel pressurized? Uncomfortable?

[Let me help fix this, is what she's trying to say.]

Huh? [ Mari stares up at her, momentarily stunned by the question. Uncomfortable? Why? How could Kanan think for even a second she did anything wrong, when she was nothing but kind and understanding? ]

-- No! [ It comes out kind of abrupt -- she catches herself, exhales, and reins in her voice. ] Not at all, silly. You made me really, really happy. I just hadn't thought about what I'd do once I've actually said it... [ A softer admission: ] And I hadn't thought you'd accept, either.

[ But then she laughs again. ] Honestly! It was kind of a shock!

Mh. [Self-conscious for a moment, she rubs at a ear, fidgeting. As expected, it's warm to the touch, presumably turning red again.

Putting something she scarcely understands into words is. Tough.]

I was also surprised. I -- I'm not rushing into this just because you told me about your feelings, though.

All I want is for you to be happy. [Even if she hasn't always gone about it properly.] So if my staying by your side is enough...

...

[ Weird. That's the only way Mari can describe the way she's feeling. Kanan looks so pretty, flushing warm all the way to her ears, and she wants-- she wants to make her happy, so why does she suddenly feel this awful queasy guilt bubbling up in the pit of stomach? Isn't this everything she wished for? Why is she getting stupid about this?

Ugh... Of course this wasn't gonna be that easy.

Mari plants her arms behind her head, and falls back onto the floor with a flump. ]

Nope.

[ She sounds like a little kid. ]

Mari?

[Forget the awkward bashfulness. She gets up from her seat, and crouches next to Mari, hands on knees. That shift came out of nowhere (to her mind).]

What's the matter?

Mnnnnnngggh... [ Mari runs her hands over her face, rolling from one side to the other on the floor. She's being stupid! It is stupid, isn't it? Isn't she just ruining everything? But even so, she doesn't feel good about this at all! She'd be even angrier at herself if she just ignored it! Gah!

Finally, she stops in place, thrusting an accusatory forefinger up towards Kanan's face: ]

If that was your reason for accepting, I reject your acceptance!

[?!

To her credit, Kanan does not budge, and manages to hold back the indignant urge to snap at the finger.]

The heck are you on about?!

[Beyond the anger, she's more confused than anything. Wasn't their conversation going fine?]

[ Mari snaps back upright, retracting her arm in the process -- thankfully so, or it well may have jabbed Kanan in the eye. ] Listen, when you accept someone's confession, it's because you like them, right? Or-- or because you're not sure, but you think you might, so you want to find out, right?! You don't accept someone's confession just because it'd make them happy! There's no way I'd want something like that!

[Bit by bit, the tension fades from her expression and posture. She can't decide whether to laugh in hysterics or lose her temper. Both. Both is a very appealing prospect right now.]

C'mere, you.

[Reaching out to Mari is easier, when they're more or less at eye level. In a repeat of the earlier episode at the director's office, she grabs Mari -- from the front, now -- to embrace her, disregarding any ensuing struggle.]

You think I'd do this with somebody I didn't like? I don't care if you haven't listened to a thing I said, but are you even hearing yourself!

Eh--

[ Mari's not struggling one bit. The combined elements of surprise, confusion, and her plain inability to resist Kanan's hold ensure she's little more than a big overcooked noodle in her arms. Even the reassurance can't quite register right away, with the distinct sense she's being made fun of. ]

But-- but you said!

That I want you to be happy. That I am glad it's me who'd make you happy.

[Simple, really.

Although she does enunciate and stress on the syllables harder than necessary, as if addressing a troublemaking child.]

[ ... ... ...

Well. It's hard to keep arguing, after that. Mari curls into Kanan's hold-- arms around her back, knees angled up, nose pressed into shoulder.

Small and muffled by her shirt, she mumbles: ]

Okay.

[Practice has long since cultivated reflex in the way she reciprocates the gesture, one hand stroking along Mari's back, slow, gentle. The other remains on her waist, steadying with care.]

Good girl.

Geez... [ Mari lets out a noise between a huff and a laugh, tinged with a breathy self-consciousness. She's warm all over again, down to the tips of her toes -- some of it embarrassment, but more than anything, it's that innate sense of peace and safety Kanan holds just by being Kanan. Intensified threefold, after everything that's been said. It's syrupy, drowsy contentment, the kind that makes her not want to move a single muscle, except for maybe to nuzzle deeper into the crook of Kanan's neck.

Mari feels all of eight years old again. ]

... You're always coddling me, you know. That's why I get worried.

Would you rather I stopped?

[She won't, and they both know it, as the smile in her voice evinces.

She cares too much, treasures what they have too much, to stop. Mari chose her, for reasons she cannot begin to fathom -- the hand on Mari's back finds its way higher, fingers absently trailing through locks of hair -- Mari, who deserves everything wonderful in the world.

The sentiment, at least, has never changed since they were actual children.]

At the very least, I want to return the favor.

[ Mari's grateful for Kanan, for everything that she is -- but she doesn't want to always keep depending on her. She doesn't want Kanan making sacrifices for her sake, not ever again.

It's up to Mari, though, to stand on equal ground with her. To make sure she never forgets how important she is. Just...

With a palpable reluctance, she leans back; Kanan's fingertips slip from her nape to her shoulder with the motion, but now she can meet her eyes again. It's not as though she has anything to say -- no, her head is a perfect, fuzzy blank -- but she wants to look at Kanan, still. ]

... Hey.

[ Mari inclines her head a bit, hesitates, inhales -- and then leans in, pressing her lips to the very corner of Kanan's own. It lingers for only a moment before she pulls back. ] Thank you.

[The smile on Kanan's face broadens, turns goofy, when it gradually dawns on her what had just happened.

Ah, she did give permission, so...]

No. Thank you.

[She leans in, already missing the sensation of closeness, to press their foreheads together. Before contact is made, however, a jolt of pain reminds her -- the cold compress.

Another time, then. For now, she'll make do by drawing Mari towards herself again.]

[ Is it mean to laugh? But she really can't help it. The look on Kanan's face when the bump kicked back in was funny, and maybe everything in general is a little funnier to Mari right now, with that lightness swirling and fluttering in her chest.

Forehead touching is a no-go, then. Mari's okay with that! She brushes another tiny half-kiss to Kanan's cheek before settling back against her, humming happily. ]

How are you feeling? Hungry? [ She plays idly with Kanan's hair as she speaks, running it between her fingers like a little waterfall. ] Do you want dinner, tea?

[A start, and then she's drooping once more. She'd clean forgot, amidst all the excitement earlier.]

I can't, the folks are expecting me for dinner... [Which Kanan was agreeable to, between her parents running the shop in the tourist seasons and her spending more and more time at school, the opportunity didn't come by so often. At this point, though, it only adds to her reluctance to leave.]

I'll still come over tonight, when we finish up.

[ There's a tiny pang of disappointment in Mari's chest at that, but but it's stifled easily enough. Family's important! And she knows Kanan hasn't been getting as much time with hers as of late. ]

Ah, that's good! Tell your parents ciao from me, okay? [ A beat. ] And I can back you up on the yakuza incident, of course!

Why am I getting the impression you won't let that one go until somebody hears about it. [The objection rings hollow, even to herself.

She gives Mari a tighter squeeze, trying to convey if just a fraction of the multitude of emotion running through her right now.]

They haven't seen you in ages, you know. Grandpa always asks after you, too.

[Though Mari's family might not be with her currently, Kanan's cares about her like she does.]

Oh! Does he? [ Beaming-- ] He's such a cute little old man!

[ Kanan's home was always so nice -- Mari's never really ceased to be struck by it. Her family's been warm and welcoming from the day she'd met them, even though she was all kinds of nervous and fidgety, and couldn't really introduce herself well. There's the sort of air to it that feels like... well, just like Kanan's home would, really. Mari likes it. ]

It really has been a while since I dropped by, huh? I'll have to fix that sometime!

[Grandpa would likely, in his own way, grump at being called cute.

(But it's true. He is cute.)]

Of course. They'll love to have you.

[And, softer in embarrassment:] So would I.

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