bakerstreet | thursday pic prompt

[All of us have are going to use texting while we're in Japan - I can pay $30 to have international unlimited texting and additional data for the month while I'm there, so that's how we're going to handle that issue. And lots of WiFi. I haven't traveled international so I'm kind of really nervous and super excited! The info packets we're getting from the company we're going thru are supposed to tell us how to get around, or so I hope, but we're smart people. We'll manage one way or the other. We've got our hotels all booked out. Agora Place Hotel Asakusa for the week in Tokyo, Takaragawa Osenkaku for the weekend, Nanba Dotonbori Hotel for Osaka, then Eko-in for a night in a temple, and the last night is the Book and Bed in Tokyo.]

"It's not anger that is motivation if it's guided by fear. At that point, it's a danger. That's the main point I'm trying to teach these children. They can be angry. I know I am about our situation at times. It's when they are afraid that anger, instead of a controlled flame, can become an inferno that destroys everything in its path including those we care about." Oh how very much Erik was in his mind right now.

"I have to teach them to intelligently wield their anger if they feel it. To wield it not only appropriately in manner but what is worthy of being angry about. These are still children, in the end. They have to learn from us and grow into their own existence." Clearly, this was something Charles had thought about, despite his words of peace. The X-Men... it had meant to be a weapon to be wielded so that others wouldn't have to, but when it had shattered on the rocks of reality, it had broken a part of him as well.

"And in particular these children... they have power to be used. Petra could potentially destroy cities if she concentrated enough. We have a student capable of fire so hot he could melt anything on this property. Without guidance and learning, this could turn ugly, which is why we train their mind and their powers."

[That's very good luck re: phones. We had to rent because Japan has no GSM network, so international plans wouldn't have worked on my phone regardless. I'm sure you will have an absolute blast! It's not actually a hard country to get around once you get acclimated, especially if you can read some hiragana and katakana. You've got fab places to stay and Book and Bed sounds like it will be a real experience--what a very Japanese concept that is!]

Aurus nodded thoughtfully as he listened to Charles talk. His own experiences were different in many ways, but there were some elements where the two dovetailed.

"Yes, I agree--it seems to me that anger and fear are two quite different matters the experience of which may be very hard to differentiate. Or rather, one can be angry about the same thing that one is afraid of, and teasing one feeling from the next can be...difficult.

"In a way, I suppose my conversations with your students today touched on the matter: 'Act with wisdom, but act.' It's one of Ventari's teachings, one which I consider to be among the most important, but it comes with a challenge. Finding the wisest course of action is rarely straightforward. I'll admit that some of them seemed to resent that complexity."

He was quiet for a moment before speaking again: "The children told me about a war--something that happened here in years past. I don't think they felt able to explain it well, so I don't know if I really understood them. Something about certain types of people being identified? I gathered that it is disturbingly easy for them to see parallels with their own situation in the world now."

Edited 2016-12-16 15:21 (UTC)

[One of my goals is to make sure that all four of us will be okay with phones when we get there. If we're truly stuck, we do have a pair of friends living in Osaka who can help us out re: getting cheap phones, so I'm holding onto that. I can speak a very little bit of Japanese (Nihongo wakimasen, Eigo desu?) and can read/write a little bit of romanji but unfortunately nothing in the katakana/hiragana. We're four smart people - I think we'll be able to manage. Matt (our friend over there) joked and said if we ever get stuck, go find a high schooler because they're learning English or a businessman XD) The onsen is gorgeous and good with foreigners so I'm really excited and the Eko-in is a working temple... guh I am stoked.]

From the expression change on Charles' face, it was fairly obvious he immediately knew what Aurus was speaking of. His lips briefly thinned as he tried to think of how to explain something so very, very complicated. "...there was a man... one very charasmatic man who brought together his people under the belief that they were superior and anyone who didn't look like them were lesser people. He took a particular hatred to some specific groups of people - the one the children most likely remember from their lessons are the Jewish. These are a people who come from a particular place in the world or follow a religion of the same name. They were-"

In his head, he saw the numbers branded into Erik's skin, and he felt a pang as if he was doing a disgrace to this explanation. "Millions of people were killed because they were considered 'lesser' people. Shot, starved, illness, gassed by chemicals, and so many more terrible deaths. Some were marked by tattoos or symbols they had to wear. It became a war that involved most of the world in some way or another - some on the side of those who wished to kill, the Nazis, some on the side of trying to stop them. It was an ugly, terrible war that we could speak weeks going over explaining all of the awful details but... sometimes, it's all too easy to see that we're being targeted specifically for who we are and it sounds all too familiar to those who know the relatively recently history of the world."

[Haha, it's totally true about Japanese high schoolers. I was 'accosted' on the street in Iwami by a group of high school boys leaving school who were SO EAGER to talk to me. I'm fairly sure I was the only native English speaker they'd ever had a chance to talk to and they all wanted to practice their English skills. Japanese are very happy to help western tourists overall though (we had two old ladies pull over and spontaneously offer us a ride when we got caught in the rain). You absolutely can manage without reading any Japanese, but personal opinion, I think hiragana was so helpful (more so than katakana). Not reading kanji is nbd (we picked up some while we were there), but hiragana helps for like figuring out what filling is inside an onigiri. If you have time it might be worth familiarizing yourself w/ it.]

The understanding Aurus was garnering of this history was necessarily piecemeal. There was simply too much he didn't yet know about this world. He had no concept of industrialization as such, so he of course could have no concept of the shock which accompanied industrialized methods being turned towards the extermination of people on a mass scale. The mechanisms of war in Tyria, despite the engineering innovations of the charr, did not contain the imagination or spirit of modern warfare. He also, frankly, would not have understood the conspiracy theories and persecution complex that held sway in Germany to enable the Nazi rise to power. All of these things had no analog in his own world as he now knew it, and the best he could do at the moment was admit to that.

"I'm not sure I understand. This was a war between the free people's of your world and one faction, these Nazis--a kind of cult with a brutal charismatic leader? And the Jewish faced him and lost before the rest of the world took up arms against him and his allies and eventually won?"

He was trying, as he had done earlier, to make sense of all this through the framework of the White Mantle and the Chosen who they had slaughtered. And when that didn't work he tried to think of it in terms of the first Guild War. And then in terms of the charr siege on Ebonhawke. None of them honestly seemed to help him very much.

[I feel like I need a cheat sheet of hiragana. This trip to Japan is going to be a lot of experimenting and learning on the fly... but I should probably learn a little more.]

"It isn't that simple. The Jewish didn't fight against him, they wanted no part of this war until they were forced to be in it. This man hated them and the others he chose to hate and chose to kill them through use of homeland pride, lies, fearmongering, and weaponry. He swept across countries with his superior forces and took them down, putting his rule in place. It's... very complicated, and very difficult to sum up for someone without a great deal of study." Charles looked over and gave a sympathetic look.

"I wish it was easier to explain, but for now, the basics should be something anyone can understand. The children, at least some of them, and older mutants know what it could possibly be like if we are singled out as a group of people. It could end very poorly for us, and they're afraid. This... is a trying time for all of us."

[You need one of these! Ours got too sun faded so we took it down, but it was great while we were learning--you can study while you shower!]

It wasn't hard to accept that building a real understanding of this history would take a good deal more time than this short walk back to the house, but Aurus was also the kind of person who would want to know.

For now though, he paused to clarify: "How long ago did this war end? And do you believe that members of this sect--these Nazis--have power in this land now, as we speak? Do they have the ear of whoever it is that holds the seat of power in your government?"

It was actually becoming hard to tell just how distant or how looming the threat really was at this moment, and if it was indeed as immediate as it was starting to sound, then Aurus would quickly change his tune on the imperative that Charles ought to gather allies and fight now, not some time in the future. (Aurus, after all, was not from a place where fighting was something delegated to others. It was something one undertook to do oneself.)

[It's so cute! How does it work?? Like the Giraffe is it "Gi" for the highlighted hiragana??]

"It ended about fifty years ago-- wait- wait-" CHarles stopped moving, looking up as he held up a hand. "It's not like that. Their threat has been put to rest," little did he know that it would stay a thing even until he was an old, old man, "but it's something that stays with us all. That idea that we could be considered a threat. It's happened... more than once in our world history and we are not fools. All we can do for now is try to keep it peaceful and show we are people the same as them. Taking any sort of fight to them is exactly what they fear and not what I want to see happen."

Charles let out a breath and shook his head. "I can see why I was feeling anxiousness from time to time over where you were speaking. It suddenly makes a great deal more sense." He wasn't entirely certain he approved, but Ventari's teachings were that more of peace than war. Aurus had only been trying to show some of his own thoughts and world, after all. "Perhaps, though, you could stick to less... controversial matters in the future?"

[This comment was so nice it got posted twice! ;) And yes sort of! The vowels (a, i, u, e, o) are on the right side going down. Then the chart can be read from right to left with each column being a consonant sound with its corresponding vowel, if that makes sense. So the top line from right to left is a, ka, sa, ta, na, ha, ma, ya, ra, wa, and the second line is i, ki, shi, chi, ni, hi, mi, ri (not all lines have all letters; note that fu is pronounced like a breath, more like hu). The highlighted hiragana is for the word in Japanese, so kirin for giraffe, ringo for apple, etc! A page like this one can give you a primer on how to read the chart, but once you've read it once the pattern is pretty straightforward.]

"Hm." Aurus considered all of this quietly for a moment, stilling his own steps and looking down at Charles. "I am beginning to think that your world is a rather strange place." He spoke his next words gently, and with caring, because he genuinely meant them humanely:

"But you are not the same as them, Charles. For all that your hearts may be similar and for all that you are good people, to claim that you are the same is to try and deny a reality that is the source of both fear and anger for many of the non-mutants you hope to convince. You need to acknowledge the truth of your difference while changing their sense that that difference is a threat. You can no more succeed by denying the potential power of their fear and anger than you could do by avoiding the fear and anger in your students. Difference ought to be a source of collective strength, not of threat, and if the history of wars here has convinced people otherwise then they need to learn to think in a new way.

"At any rate, I'm afraid that I cannot promise that I will stick to less controversial matters since it's becoming quite apparent that I only discover which matters are controversial after stumbling straight into them." He smiled at the irony. He would try to do as the man asked, but he had to admit how poor his gauge had been thus far.

[Guess what was so nice it never showed up in my inbox at all? XD Not ignoring this thread, I swear! I realized I hadn't seen anything from it in a while and popped in here to check. Glad I did! Ooooh suddenly that makes more sense! [omg Giraffe are called kirin? That's sort of adorable.]]

"There's a difference between saying we are precisely the same and saying that inside, we are the same. We have feelings like they do, intelligence as they do... we begin our lives as they do. It, typically, isn't even until puberty that you can tell there is any sort of difference. We don't want the world to believe us nothing but dangerous. It... isn't as simple as you choose to see it. This is a fine balancing act, one that slowly we are coming out on top of." Thank you, in a great deal, to his sister. To show that there were, as there were with humans, people with dark souls who will do dark things, and those were the outliers.

"You cannot promise as such, because you are the type that once you discover such controversial matters, instead of gracefully ducking away, tend to say your piece on them." Charles arched an eyebrow in Aurus' direction, not-so-subtly pointing out Aurus', or perhaps the sylvari, bluntness in things.

[Not to worry. DW has just seemed generally drunk for the past week or so. Guess it's getting an early start on the holidays. We're going to be visiting my folks down in GA, so I'll be in your timezone from X-Mas Eve to New Years Eve btw! (And giraffe is totally one of those words that I wouldn't know at all save for this chart! lol)]

"I don't believe that it is simple," Aurus said, though without any ire or defensiveness. He could appreciate the difficulties that Charles was working with conceptually, even if not from first hand experience. Perhaps what he was saying was merely a matter of semantics--the question of whether it was better to talk about these challenges in terms that focused on difference or ones that focused on similarity. Regardless, he did not push, instead continuing on towards the house once more.

As for the rest... "Guilty as charged, I suppose." Aurus would not for a moment try to deny how blunt he tended to be, and he really couldn't blame it entirely on a racial propensity. (It would be very interesting, he thought, to see how Charles' opinion of him might change in light of seeing the bluntness of his kin.) "I can at least honestly assure you that I will try, and that I will get better the more I learn of your world. I have, after all, been here less than twenty four hours."

He thought for a moment and then proposed: "You have what looked to be quite an extensive library here. Perhaps tomorrow, you might give me something to read--anything of your choosing. I enjoy philosophy but also history or whatever books of lore you deem most worthy. I will read whatever you select. Perhaps from there I can start to judge my conversation topics better."

[Have a great time!!! Don't worry too much about being slow - the holidays are a time of somewhat questionable internet when I go up to my mothers. XD Plus, have fun with the family!]

Charles listened, rolling slowly along side of Aurus but keeping his gaze ahead. He wouldn't have been ready to handle Aurus' kin, most likely, but he would have tried. And possibly blushed or gotten otherwise more embarrassed than he usually did. Or maybe without other humans around, where the stories of what he did wouldn't likely get to the ears of anyone who he wouldn't want to hear, he would loosen up.

"It might behoove you to start with history. There's a few books on world history in the library that cover the biggest events. There are... an endless amount of philosophy books, and even to give you ones that I respect wouldn't mean that others you meet here would follow them. We might only be one species, but the different cultures we have are just as varied as if we weren't. So, history, something more common, might be the better place to start."

[Thanks! We managed to get tickets in upper class that somehow turned out to be cheaper than tickets in economy, so we are supposed to be getting seats that lie down flat into beds which is totally new to me and I'm really excited for. At any rate, hopefully I should be able to tag as usual, but ditto on the no worries with potential slow. 'Tis the season for family things and all. I hope you have a great time at your mom's--that's the farm, yes?]

Ironically, it was likely that in the Dream Charles very well might encounter at least some of Aurus’s kin, and though that sort of encounter would necessarily be different than meeting them in reality, some hint of the experience might turn out to come sooner than Charles was right now anticipating.

As for the idea of reading history, Aurus liked it tremendously and he immediately nodded his approval. "Yes. I think that would be ideal. Both your world's history and the more local, or the more specific to mutants if anyone has written such a thing.” At this point he had no idea that Charles himself had written anything even remotely similar to this topic.

"In any case, I have tended to find that the best histories are inherently their own gateway to philosophical questions. And I’m sure it will give us much to talk about.” Obviously it was an enormous project and not one that he expected to even dent in a day, but Aurus was never one to be put off by monumental tasks. “You will give me something related to this war from half a century past, yes?"

[Ffffff I would love first class tickets! Hahahahaha they're like $6k (whyyyyyyy?) but that sounds AWESOME! Rock that first class! Which is what I assume upper class is. Yep! Heading up to the farm with my partner and our crazy house of reject animals. XD]

"There isn't a great deal written about mutants," here Charles gave a little laugh, "other than what Hank and myself have written. At least writing that is factual and not hate mongering. The world history is a good start, and if you feel you've garnered an idea about the history from there, a book on World War II wouldn't be completely remiss. And perhaps the Civil Rights movement, too. It... might explain some of the difficulties we're having, even if it might make you a touch angry at times." Sometimes humanity made him more than a little angry as well. Those were the times he often heard Erik's words in the back of his mind, about the differences, and he had to push the voice and the anger aside lest he listen too long.

They came up to the door and Charles paused, believing Aurus would get it for him, and wheeled himself up into the mansion. "For right now, dinner, perhaps? The children will be doing their own thing and I'll check through them, but... I would rather wait until the house is quiet before we do... anything." Keeping it simple, for now.

[OMG it was SUCH luxury. We were thoroughly spoiled and never want to fly economy ever ever again. It was indeed first class (we bought business class tickets but it's the first class cabin and the same service). They need to reduce ticket prices immediately so that everyone can fly this way all the time. And I'm so glad you get a house full of animals for Christmas! That's the only thing missing here, alas. No pets.]

Aurus did indeed open the door for Charles as they approached it, the gesture feeling intuitive and natural. It almost surprised him how easy it was to get used to the chair--how Charles maneuvered it and how to move with him--especially given that the night before this had all been completely new.

"I don't mind being made angry, so long as the reason is a good one," he said as they entered. "I've too often found the feeling instructive to want to shy away from it now. And I would be very interested to read your writing, or Hank's, when you believe it's the right time to show it to me.

"For now, though, I agree that dinner sounds lovely. And after, perhaps the best thing would simply be for you to join me once you've seen to your charges and you feel that the time is right."

This, subtly, was Aurus's way of offering Charles some wiggle room: an opening to back out at the last minute if he had too many doubts. He very much hoped--and indeed now trusted--that he wouldn't, but nonetheless it felt very important to him that when Charles decided to take the first proverbial step down this path that the choice be wholly and independently his own.

Besides, merely joining Aurus in his room didn't necessarily answer the question of what would happen between them. It merely opened the door to allow that something might. Perhaps the smile and the expression in the sylvari's eyes managed to say as much.

[UG That sounds so awesome!! Totes need to reduce those prices. (Honestly they're ridiculous.) It's funny - I can't really imagine the idea of living in a house without pets. We've always had at least one of them at any point in time.]

"Once you've read through the history, it might be something... interesting for you to read, but honestly, it's much more scientific of a read than anything else." He chuckled quietly, rubbing the back of his neck momentarily. "A great deal of medical and scientific research went into those papers, so they can be a bit of a dry read for people who understand what they're about. However, I know Hank's been working on something more broad-reaching. That's very much up to him to let you read through because it's not a published work yet."

At Aurus' suggestion of a timeline, Charles gave a small nod. "I won't be too long. Maybe an hour or two at the most. I'm not sure where you would be happiest in that time...?" He left it a bit open ended, looking up to Aurus with a raised brow. "Your room? The library?" Those raised brows dropped and knitted, thinking about it. Would Aurus need time to prepare? He mentioned needing to... ingest something. Charles felt the smallest twinge at his elbow, like a nerve misfiring, but he ignored the sensation. He was beyond that.

Several students, as they moved into something more crowded, started smiling when they saw Aurus. Some even waved, gave him a greeting by name. Charles looked amused as it continued to happen, glancing towards the sylvari. "It seems you've made quite the impact among the student body here." And for a reason he couldn't quite place, it pleased him. Maybe another unconscious relaxation that Aurus could be trusted around his beloved students, that they seemed happier for having met him even if dark topics had arisen.

[I've pretty much always had pets too, so being without is kind of gutting. But our dog died of cancer a few years ago and we've not gotten a new one because we thought we might move across an ocean and that's rough. My parents don't want any pets though and my mom Strongly Dislikes my aunt's dog, so we only get our dog fix when visiting my aunt at her house this trip.]

"I think I might have to work myself back into Hank's good graces before broaching that topic," Aurus said playfully, though he knew there was also some truth to it. He didn't want to draw Charles' attention back to that topic or to darken the mood, but he knew that Hank was not best pleased with him right now. Hopefully once he saw that Charles indeed came to no harm he would warm again.

As for where he would retire after dinner, Aurus had a ready answer for that question: "My room would be best. An hour or two of meditation before we begin would suit me well.

"My own connection to the Dream is not, if we're honest, as thoroughly intimate as some of my kin. I am far from Soundless--our word for those who work to cut themselves off from the Dream entirely--but there are times when I have explored their ways. Our current distance from my homeland organically makes the Dream feel more remote in a way that many sylvari would find quite distressing. It hasn't bothered me, so I've not spent my time deliberately deepening the connection, but tonight I will. For me, it will be like returning home after a long time away."

Of course all of this sounded terribly obscure and esoteric to talk about. It would be much easier simply to experience it all than to try to explain, and the idea that the two of them would be able to communicate all of this in a way that superseded words was one of the things Aurus was especially looking forward to.

For now, though, they still had dinner and these greetings from the students, all of which Aurus returned in kind, addressing children by name when he remembered who was who, and occasionally when he forgot and simply said hello, asking Charles quietly under his breath to confirm if a particular name was correct. All of this, for Aurus, was a very new experience if he was honest, and he didn't mind admitting it. "It's made quite the impact on me as well. Do you know, I haven't met this many people in a day for as long as I can remember. I haven't even been around this many people, total, in years! But there's something about this place you've made, Charles. It gets under the skin. It's quite exceptional."

Without giving it too much direct thought, Aurus was beginning to realize that what he was feeling extended beyond being in no hurry to leave. In fact the idea of becoming a part of the life of this place was starting to germinate in his mind, fertilized by his meeting with the students. What precisely that meant he had no idea, but if it turned out that there really was a place for him here he could, he thought, see himself taking it.

[That's heartbreaking. :( I mean, it might be for the best if you're planning on moving again, I don't claim to know your future plans with your partner, but I hope you guys eventually get a beautiful little fur-kid of your own. ^_^]

The idea of being Soundless, cut off from the dream-hive-mind that Aurus had been painting for him, sounded terrible to someone like Charles, so used to being even vaguely connected to the people around him, but even on the heels of such an emotion came its opposite, understanding, because immediately he could place Erik in such a position. He would want to be cut off, apart. It seemed like Erik's entire desire in life, at times. In many ways, Charles understood it all too well, now. If no one was around you, they could not hurt you. Those you love or those you fear. Fear still drove a great deal of his friend, even if it was fear turned to anger.

Through dinner, Aurus' words about his connection to the Dream stayed with him, making him a little more quite of a dinner companion than normal but still responding. The little questions about a name were answered with an equally quiet whisper if the name was incorrect, though Charles was impressed with the amount Aurus had remembered from a first meeting, or a quick nod if he was right. He wondered all over again if he was making the right decision, to feel out this connection that was completely alien to Humans, or if it would be as completely overwhelming as Cerebro had been (and in truth, still was).

The compliment to the school did bring him out of his thoughts, though, and made him give a proud smile that showed in his eyes. This was his great accomplishment, as far as he was concerned. This school, these students, this staff... they were doing something big here. Providing a service that was truly needed and making an impact for the better in more than just the lives of these students. "Maybe it was just what you needed," he offered thoughtfully as he speared a piece of fish on his plate. "After all of that time alone, wandering... maybe your soul needed something more. A little piece of the Dream, but in a different way." He popped the fish into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

[Yeah, it was gutting when it happened. She went through surgery and a long course of chemo, but it was really clear when she just decided she was done. We keep talking about dog plans now, but at this point we're so ??? even on human plans. At any rate, we got back to the UK today. Happy New Years btw--let's hope this year turns out a damn sight better than the last one.]

Though Aurus didn't know quite what it was that lingered in Charles' thoughts, it was clear enough to him that the man had something on his mind. It seemed reasonable enough to guess that it was nerves or lingering doubt about what they were planning to do.

He thought about what the night might hold as they ate as well, letting the conversation stay casual for the most part, especially given the proximity of the student body. He did, however, address the topic obliquely when he answered Charles' words about what his nomadic lifestyle might have been wanting:

"If that is indeed the case, then I'd like to think that the need is also something mutual, that what speaks to me here is not just the school but also its founder, whose own soul might also be needing something more or different, even in a place so exceptional as this." He didn't directly or simply mean something sexual. While he couldn't be completely certain what would or wouldn't happen between them that night, he wasn't expecting it to proceed as anything like a "typical" sexual encounter. What he meant instead was something intimate--the kind of intimacy that took the risk of being vulnerable with another being.

[Happy New Year!!! I hope your New Year was - and continues to be - as fantastic as mine was. ^_^ I hope the partner is doing well, too!]

This was still the 80s, a time when such talk was only just becoming acceptable, and it still (despite what Aurus intended) made Charles glance around to make sure it went unheard. Maybe it was the ghost of his parents lingering over his shoulder, tsking their disapproval over all of this - his choices, what he had done with his inheritance and his life. Those, at least, he was mostly able to ignore.

"For now, that founder needs to see where things go before he could speak further on it." He gave a small, almost sly smile with those words. It felt like so much, almost all of it he couldn't name, was resting on tonight. Like something waiting to happen to lead to something far bigger, be it for better or worse. Yet despite the mixture of emotions within him, he found himself excited. That potential danger might have been a bit of a push along the path leading to Aurus' room that night.

But dinner didn't last long - Charles was a bit on the anxious side to get down too much of a meal and clearly the children were excited from the differences of the day, so the noise and even the pressure of their minds grew to be a bit much. He looked to Aurus and gave a smile of someone who knew they were about to go do work, small and knowing. "I'm going to try to get everything done as quickly as possible, but it will still be a few hours. If you want to explore the library and take something back to your room, I think you would find you have any number of youngsters willing to lead your there. Do you remember how to get back to your room, though?"

[Ahh I am so glad you had a fab time ringing in the new year! We were on the plane so had a bunch of new years as we crossed the timezones...and blissfully slept through most of them. lol Now we're just trying to brainstorm our life plans for the next 18 months.]

Very gradually and by small degrees Aurus was perhaps beginning to appreciate the magnitude of what this sort of encounter meant, here in this world and for someone like Charles. The way that the man cast cautious eyes around them even to make sure that such an innocuous comment hadn't been overheard spoke volumes about the degree of social censure their relationship might meet if it became public knowledge.

Aurus didn't think that Charles was being paranoid--he respected him and trusted his abilities too much for that. So it just made it more striking to realize that he couldn't even extend a casual touch across the dinner table without it being untoward. At the same time, though, he couldn't deny how the idea that he and Charles were sharing something secret and forbidden was thrilling for him too.

In place of a touch, he would have to communicate everything by the look in his eyes--a momentary hint that would be disguised from the others--the incline of his head, the tone of his voice as he answered, "I remember. And I will be waiting for you when you are ready."

He was sure that the students wouldn't let him get lost at any rate. Charles could take his leave and set his mind to the tasks at hand without needing to worry: though Aurus would surely would be well looked after if needed it, he really was quite self-sufficient and didn't at all mind being left to his own devices for a while. Really, it would benefit him, given how time with his own thoughts was so core a part of his daily routine.

Once dinner was done, he would indeed make his way to the library for a short while, keeping his eyes open for Hank (though at this point he wasn't sure whether he hoped to see the man or hoped not to see him). Though he'd look around the shelves, he'd already decided in advance that he would not actually select a book to read this evening. Instead, after a short while he would go to the kitchen and get a cup of hot water, return to his room, and set aside a sort of tea steeped from dried mushrooms and some selected herbal seeds. Then, as promised, he would meditate and wait, calm and patient.

[What do you mean? Do you plan to stay over in the UK, thinking about coming back here?]

There was the normal nightly routine Charles had to go through and while his mind was having trouble focusing on the tasks like the norm, it was calming to be doing something he knew well. Go through the classrooms, make sure things were in order, check the lab carefully. An hour in his office - a time when his staff could approach him with issues while he checked through their finances (though mostly left that to his accountants now a days, bless them), he could read through mail (tucking aside a letter requesting entrance for a new student, he and Hank would most likely go out to meet this young man), and in general see to the constant work it took to keep the school running. Still, it was impossible not to feel a certain energy, a definite distraction, knowing what he had plans to do tonight. Not even fully knowing what those were didn't keep his mind from ruminating over them again and again.

When his normal time was over, he stayed long enough to place his palms flat on his desk, take a long slow deep breath, then nod before going back out. The building was mostly silent, at least at this end, less so where all of the children slept, but he could feel minds still out and about. All the normal things that made the night around him feel right. Good.

It didn't take terribly long to go back to his rooms and get both a little spruced up as well as get into more comfortable clothing, pausing somewhere in the middle of all of this to realize that he was nervous. Nervous enough that his hands were shaking ever so faintly. "When did you become the nervous one?" he murmured to himself with a bit of a laugh. Sure, he knew that answer and knew it well, but in the here and now it wasn't worth letting himself go from nervousness to upset.

Instead, he finished what he needed before he headed back through the mansion towards Aurus' guest room. It was a small ways away from the children, letting guests actually get some sleep from children who tended to be up late and pay for it in exhaustion the next day, but today he was glad. It was easy enough to say he was checking on their guest if he was 'caught' out this late, but no soul came near as he came up to Aurus' door and knocked. The pajamas he wore were soft, clean all in a dark blue, loose pants and a tee shirt, but he also had a blanket across his knees. Learned from Cerebro that a great deal of time out of his body often left him cold.

[This is the thing--we don't know! My partner is getting very burned out in his job and he wants to do his PhD in the states anyway, but he's looking at 2018 admission, so we are left with 18 months to a year of ???? and we can't decide where we should try to be or what we should be doing in that gap.]

It was only a few moments before Aurus answered the door, a few moments during which he allowed himself to refocus on the world at hand and get to his feet. If he was comparatively calmer and more composed, it was only because of his practice with methods of zen-like placidity. It meant that he'd not given his thoughts a chance to run away from him, instead giving his own anxious feelings another outlet. But that didn't change the way his pulse quickened the moment that he saw Charles.

He held the door open for the man and welcomed him into the room, which had been subtly rearranged to suit their purposes for the evening: the bed had been pushed over slightly so that it sat against the wall, and the pillows all rearranged so that it made a sort of divan on which they could sit as easily as lie down. The lights were low, the curtains drawn open to allow a view of the evening sky. The crystalline replica tablet Petra had made sat atop the dresser. Beside it, the shallow cup of "tea" that Aurus had prepared waited, as yet untouched.

Aurus had shed the outer layer of his leafy clothing, leaving him now clad in a dusky-colored wrapping much like corn husks--soft and pliable, it covered his legs, chest and shoulders, though not his arms, and was mostly open down the back, revealing the line of nodes along his spine where his body had once been attached to the Mother Tree.

Because it was evening, his foxfire glow had returned, a bright, slowly pulsing rosy color that limned the fern fronds of his hair, the veins within his variegated leaves, the contours where leaf met leaf. The effect overall probably accentuated how his body was truly not human at all but merely plant grown to mimic and suggest a human anatomy.

"I trust your evening's duties went smoothly?" The words were casual enough, but Aurus didn't need to try and keep the affection he felt for Charles out of his expression now, and he didn't. His natural bioluminescence already made his eyes glow, but that clearly wasn't the only thing making them shine a bit. Just having Charles here, and the more casual way they were both dressed, felt intimate already, intimate enough that he wanted to make sure Charles didn't feel rushed or pressured. He would have had to be a fool not to realize how nervous the man must be. Coming here at all was, Aurus understood, a huge decision for him, and the sylvari meant to treat that with the respect and and care it deserved.

So, something to break the ice, something that would hopefully feel easy and unintimidating: "Tell me, my friend, do you meditate?"

then charles fucked a plant and question his life choices and decided maybe is he was getting humped by ferns he needed to move into an entirely new life of work and/or life period

LMAO I woke up to this in my inbox first thing

entheogens - 2017-01-06 09:46 (UTC) - Expand

[I guess one thought that comes to mind is it might be better to be here and established before he starts in PhD instead of having to make ALL of the drastic changes at once, ya know? I mean obviously it's not my life, but it's what comes into my life.]

"They did," Charles said with that same attempted casualness even if inside it wasn't what he felt. Instead, he still felt that tightness in his stomach from nerves both good and bad, and when he looked into Aurus' eyes, it only made both forms of tightness worse. It wasn't something he was going to turn away from, but it felt like he was putting his toes closer and closer to the edge of that cliff. Yet his eyes strayed, studying with the natural curiosity of someone able to view more of such an alien figure along with the interest of someone wanting to know what they potentially could be dealing with this evening.

The question came not with any particular surprise and it was one that brought out a bit of a smirk to Charles lips. "I used to, when I was younger and needed more practice with my shielding. However, it's... been quite a while since I last did." A brow raised, curious of course to the reason behind the question. "Why?"

Several questions buzzed at the back of his head, and with great effort, he was working to keep the questions relevant to the moment instead of the great storm of questions that threatened to overwhelm and push him away. Taking this one step at a time. Aurus had mentioned needing... a more organic assistance in reaching the Dream, and thus it left Charles wondering if the sylvari had already partook or if it would come. He had agreed with himself to reject any offer in aiding himself, afraid of what he would find within. It would be all too easy to find himself falling on old habits he wanted dead and buried.

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