bakerstreet | THE KISSING BOOTH MEME

[Ten points. Giorno smirks and spins the bottle between his fingers.]

Trish is cute too. But you're the one who thought of it.

[And recognized the label, and brought it by, and was a little fussy. That's cute.]

It's not bad that you like me so much that you pay attention to little things I do. It's not like I don't do that. Everyone does that with people they like.

So? If it's something you wear every day, why wouldn't I notice it. [Fugo folds his arms, looking more than a little huffy. He's no being cute. He's being entirely reasonable.] It's hardly unusual.

Because I put it on in my room and then mostly just keep it in my pocket all day. You'd have to really be paying attention to see it me applying it at all.

[He raises his eyebrows, like: what now, asshole. Only nicer. Slightly nicer. Not much.]

I'm saying I like it. You don't have to be upset because I like something. [You ridiculous disaster.]

[He very much wants to make a retort. But he can't, really, because Giorno does fix his his makeup quietly and in out-of-the-way moments.]

Oh, whatever. [At least. Giorno likes that he's paying that close attention to his face and the things he puts on it? And doesn't think it's weird. It's probably weird.] I assume you've been successful, today. Are you satisfied with your fundraising efforts?

I've been successful.

[He presses his lips together, thoughtful. He really shouldn't let Fugo get away with changing the subject like that, but he's merciful sometimes. Rarely. But sometimes.]

But I'm never satisfied. You know that. I can always do better.

Never being satisfied means you're better prepared for when you try again. [As a perfectionist, he gets this. One could say he even feels this feeling. Fugo shifts and scoots his stool closer to the counter, so he has room to rest an elbow and arm on it. His fingers idly tap out nonsense patterns as he continues.] So, what about this business venture are you not satisfied with?

Well. I haven't kissed everyone.

[His simple, loose shrug indicates that this is, in fact, the fatal flaw in his plan. Regrettable, but fatal. No room for excuses now.]

It's not efficiently profitable until I've received the maximum number of available kisses.

[He. Can manage to not laugh at that. Somehow. It's hard, though.]

Perhaps next time you should send out personal invitations as advertisements. But shouldn't you take Mista into account? I'm sure he's made up for more than a few no-shows.

Mista is perfect, Fugo, but he's only one man. You can't ask him to exhaust himself.

[Hm. Well. He waves his hand vaguely.]

You could, but it wouldn't be fair, he might pass out.

You're right, last time I checked on him he was still napping. [This could just be because now is around the time that Mista likes to take a nap. But as long as he's asleep why not blame it on emptying his wallet at Giorno's kissing booth.]

What about in conjunction with Trish? The two of them are pretty unstoppable when they work together. Or has she disdained the kissing booth. I forgot to ask her what she thought about all of this.

You forgot to ask? I can't believe she didn't just tell you.

[When Trish has strong opinions, she usually just broadcasts them. However, it's entirely possible that she's been busy making fun of Mista all day. It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it.]

She wanted the first kiss. Just the first one. She doesn't want any more.

[Okay, now he can't help but laugh at Giorno's disappointed expression. Fugo chuckles. Thankfully, it's only a little mean.]

She was a little busy laughing at me. Poor you. You probably won't get any more kisses from Trish until tomorrow. Or, at the very least, until she tells you goodnight.

[In fairness to Giorno, he's only pouting a little. He could be pouting so much more than this. He would be right to pout more than this. He is experiencing a Trish kiss deficit.]

That's such a long time, Fugo. Tomorrow is hours from now. And Mista is napping. I'm devastated.

[For someone like Giorno, this is honestly a tragedy. Despite the fact that Trish kisses are a renewable resource, they do him no good if she's not interested in kissing him.]

Hmm. You're right, this does end up as rather inefficient. If a measure of success is your ratio of kisses collected from Mista and Trish in comparison to the rest of your kisses.

I suppose we're wandering slightly off the point of fundraising efficiency. I'll admit that. But there's the tiniest possibility that I may have arranged this particular fundraising method to get what I want.

[This is one of the most self-awarely sardonic things Giorno has ever said. He's dunking on himself, so somebody ought to call the paper, probably.]

If I don't come out of this with at least an equal number of very-important-people kisses as general-population kisses, it's not really a success in my book.

[Dryly:] Really. I'm very surprised to hear that from you, Giogio. I don't think I would have been able to guess that on my own. [He reaches out to pat Giorno's knee.] Thank you for being honest with me.

[Because who would have guessed that Giorno Giovanna's ultimate aim was to get plenty of kisses from people who were important to him. Not Fugo, obviously. Giorno's motives remain inscrutable to him.]

Have you been keeping track of your numbers? Do you know how off you are? Perhaps you can balance your books by increasing the inherent value of those kisses.

Fugo.

[He looks aghast, covering Fugo's hand with his own as if to stifle his incorrectness.]

You can't just change a kiss value mid-game, that's cheating.

But is it cheating, [he asks, wide-eyed and completely serious,] if you haven't decided on a set value in the first place?

Edited 2016-08-22 05:14 (UTC)

Fugo . . .

[He sighs, shaking his head a little, and pats Fugo's hand.]

They've got to be one to one. Can't pass over two. One very-important-person kiss equals one general-population kiss. Anyway, the point is to get a lot of kisses, period. So inflating the value of very-important-person kisses is really just sabotaging myself.

Interesting. I would have thought that a kiss from Mista would be worth at least three or five general-population kisses, at least in terms of quality and sentiment expressed.

[Fugo, no. Fugo, you're making this up as you go along.]

But I see that in this case, since your goal is to get a lot of kisses, period, it's important to keep it one-to-one. [He pauses, for dramatic effect.] So. How far behind are you?

My goal is to get a lot of kisses.

[He chews his lip thoughtfully, though. It smears the gloss a little, but he doesn't mind. Fugo brought him a whole new tube. What a very thoughtful person he is.]

On the other hand . . . hm. Maybe you're not terribly far off base after all. Maybe there should be the potential for additional points should any particular kiss be superlative.

[What if he got lots of really good kisses, basically.]

[Is it strange, to pay attention to the way Giorno's mouth moves while he talks. Probably a little, considering that Giorno is now aware that Fugo pays attention to what sort of lip gloss he wears. Oh, well. It's too late not to notice now.]

For example, [Fugo holds one finger up, to represent the Most Important kiss Giorno's had all day:] considering that Trish only wanted your first kiss, I'm certain that she made sure it a kiss worth remembering. The sort of kiss that if you weren't so greedy, could theoretically last you all day.

[If a kiss from Trish isn't considered superlative, well. What kiss could be?]

But I am greedy, Fugo.

[Plaintively stated, but factual. He is greedy; it is simply a world's truth. The sun is bright, the grass is green, Giorno Giovanna wants as many kisses as he can conceivably have.]

It was an amazing kiss. It was very distracting. But then I also just wanted to kiss her more. Which makes it worse, really. I'm only . . . nine? Nine kisses behind, which isn't so many, but with Mista napping and Trish having principles, I don't know.

[He sighs a little, keeps chewing his lip. It's a problem, a surmountable and technically unimportant one, but one which he still wants to solve.]

[. . . Is Fugo--hm. He blinks a little, then speaks without thinking.]

You should kiss me. I want to test a theory.

You are incredibly greedy. [Fugo agrees, without spite or ill intent. Giorno being unrepentantly greedy is an important part of his personality. He's not satisfied with things like "good enough" or "partial success". Giorno has big dreams and high standards. Where others stop, Giorno pushes forward. It's usually a good thing.

But sometimes it ends up with Giorno Giovanna's kissing booth, which uses fundraising for pudding legislature as a front to get as many kisses as he possibly can. Nine's not so bad. That's a deficit Mista can and will make up for when he wakes up, after he opens up his sock drawer for his savings.

He was sort of expecting a suggestion like this, in the way that Fugo thinks about conversations and their potential outcomes. Talking to Giorno in his kissing booth carries with it a calculated risk of being kissed. He's not so surprised by that--he's just a little taken aback by how sudden and plain the shift is.]

What? Right now? [There's a joke about money laundering that he'd like to tell Giorno here. Something about the ethics of the authors of legislation moving money between them to fund the laws, as if they weren't bribing legislatures to the gills already. He probably should have taken into account how abrupt Giorno could be sometimes, because now he's flustered and he can feel the proper timing of the stupid joke slipping away from him.]

Mmhm.

[And for once, Giorno isn't trying to make Fugo embarrassed. It's much more a case of the idea having occurred to him in a context where he felt comfortable simply blurting it out. That's how he is with Fugo now: often calculated, but not always.]

[In fact, he's regarding the tinge of pink at the tips of Fugo's ears with some confusion. It seems sensible to him. He's greedy; he wants to be kissed; he has a deficit of kisses; Fugo brought him lip gloss; Fugo keeps looking at the way his mouth moves. The conclusion is simple. The idea is a good one. No one loses, everyone wins.]

Well. Is there something you want to wait for?

Edited 2016-08-24 21:56 (UTC)

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