bakerstreet | The way a bomb loves a crowd

The way a bomb loves a crowd

Love at Wrong Sight

Don't be so cynical: love at first sight definitely exists. What also exists is love at wrong sight. Both of you feel a spark, hearts a-flutter, magnetism in full force, all the tell-tale signs of an instant pull, so what's the problem?

Well, there are some big problems. One of you could be taken, you could be on opposites sides of a battle or movement, you have a duty that conflicts with romance, this could be the wrong place at the absolute wrong time, the attraction could be forbidden, or any litany of pitfalls you can imagine could exist. Oh why oh why are you having this sudden swooning now? Here? It's no use denying you're in a pickle.

The quandary is...will you avoid this flight of fancy or will affairs of the heart hit you square in the chest?

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Malcolm came home and could instantly feel the tension in the air He'd spent too much time watching his back not to. "Mercy," he called out, "are you alright?"

"In here," she called, "and I'm fine."

It wasn't exactly a lie. She was ridiculously nervous, but she wasn't hurt or anything. That would only come afterwards - if Malcolm left her - them.

"There's... well, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

And she held her breath, waiting for him to come in.

Malcolm gave her that look Jack called his "wary thinking" face. He mostly used it when trying to get the measure of someone he wasn't too sure about. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Us," Mercy said, squirming in her seat a little. "All of us - the three of us, I mean. I'd... we'd..."

This was ridiculously hard and she knew she was botching it up.

"If we -"

"I wanted to know how you'd feel about the three of us being together. A, well, a threesome, I guess, rather than this mix of couples. If all three of us could be together. I'd like to have both of you, be with both of you. And I know Jack would as well."

This news threw the normally unflappable Malcolm for a complete and total loop. For a long time all he can do is just stare at her trying to process what she and Jack want and if he wants it too. He had to admit he was feeling unsettled lately, somehow their "sharing Mercy" arrangement hadn't been working for him anymore and he couldn't figure out why. Now he knew...he liked Jack...but he wanted to get to know him in the way Mercy did, to see under the mask of constant joy and sexual expression and find out if they shared more similarities then just their faces.

"I.....I'd be lying if I said I didn't want that too," Malcolm says letting out a long breath, "but does Jack know what he's getting into with me? Does he understand the target this will paint on his back? It's hard enough keeping you hidden from my enemies, but if they found out about him...."

"Immortal," Mercy said easily. It was probably the easiest part of this whole thing. "He's seen more of how terrible the universe can be than either of us can imagine. He knows and he's willing to deal with it."

She and Jack hadn't spoken about this part specifically, but they both knew the kind of danger they'd all be in. It was a risk they were willing to take.

"If... if you want it too, then nothing else matters," Mercy said. "We can work everything else out, I know we can."

She smiled at him more than a little nervously. "It may not be easy, but I really... I really want to try this. To make this work."

Malcolm moves forward. "I want to make this work too," he says, "I finally feel like I deserve something good in my life. and now I'm getting two things in you both."

"Then... you want to?" she asked, her face brightening. "Really? Oh Malcolm! I... I have no idea how this whole thing works, but I'm sure we can figure it out if we're patient with each other."

He nodded. "I want to," he mutters softly, "for good or ill. I want to make this work the best we can."

Mercy got up and moved towards him. "We'll find a way. We've already been through so much. We can do this."

He resists the urge to back up even though he is scared to death this won't work. "I know we will," he says softly.

Mercy could smell his fear and it matched her own, but she wanted this. She stopped and held out a hand to him, waiting for him to calm and reach out for her.

He reaches out with his left hand and rests it in hers. "I'm scared," he admitted.

"Me too," she admitted, and let herself relax enough for him to see the truth of that in her eyes. "Terrified, really. I've... I've never had anything like this. Not ever. All I've ever wanted is a place where I belonged. And now I have the two of you and I'm terrified that I'm asking for too much, that maybe I should be happy with what I have and not reach for what I want."

She closed her hand over his. "But together... I think we can do this. I think we can make it work."

"I'm not a good man Mercy," Malcolm says, "I've killed people. Innocent people. I let my grief rule my head. I killed my own child. I don't deserve you or Jack. I will always know that. And yet here I am...surrounded by love that I don't deserve. I will do whatever I need to do to protect you because if I lost you.....I'll lose myself."

"You're not going to lose me," she said softly. "And you're not going to lose Jack either. I love you," her voice was a little shaky. The emotion was real, but it was the first time she'd actually said it out loud.

"I do," she said a little more strongly. "I love you. I love both of you."

Malcolm moved forward and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you too. Mercy I love you both so much. Some nights I've lain awake terrified of saying anything because I was sure you'd laugh and walk away. I never dreamed I'd have this feeling again."

"I would never laugh at you. Not about something like this." She put her head on his shoulder and clung to him. "I never thought I'd find one person who wanted me like this, never mind two."

"You deserve this too Mercy," Malcolm replied, "you are so beautiful and smart and those around you don't realize it and they are idiots for that."

"We all deserve it," Mercy said firmly. "And if anyone can make a stable threesome work it's the three of us."

"It's been a long time since I've been in a stable anything," Malcolm admitted, "I'll be wary for a while just so that you know."

"I think we all will be," Mercy said quietly. "I'm way too used to having the rug pulled out from under me."

"And I haven't been with people in a romantic way for a very long time. And that was only one person. Two people is a completely new experience."

"You two... pretty much it since I left Aspen Creek. I tried a little in college, but it was too hard being with someone I had to lie to," Mercy said quietly. "Even one person was more than I knew what to do with. But you and Jack... you're everything to me. I feel almost whole around each of you."

"I hope you know you never have to lie to me," Malcolm says, "there is nothing I've ever heard or seen that bothers me. I'm ready to be more honest."

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