bakerstreet | You're having my baby.

You're having my baby.

the "WE'RE HAVING A BABY" meme

Nature is no respecter of persons, my friends. Whether it be childhood friends, newlyweds, or one-night stands, a single decision or accident can change everything, and there will be three people instead of just two.

Congratulations! The characters in these threads and those who reply to them are now expecting babies, no matter what their unique situation may be. Of course, depending on the characters, this might go over like a lead balloon. But wait! Even if the decision to have a baby was made and was consensual, the process is no walk in the park. There is lots to do...and only nine months to do it. Nine potentially drama-filled months.

HOW TO PLAY

Comment with your character, preferences, etc.
Not all options here are fluffy and happy. Some are potentially angsty or possibly triggering. Tread lightly. Be sure to mention what you want and what you don't want.
Reply to others.
For this, male characters can get pregnant because why not.

PROMPTS

How'd It Happen: What led up to this event? How are you in this situation?

Realization: There's a wrench in the works...or maybe it was expected, but you're just realizing you're pregnant.

Positive Reaction: Yes, after all this time and planning! You're finally ready for a family.

Negative Reaction: Oh, no. This is terrible. You're in no position to take care of a child!

Freak Outs: But...how? You're a human, she's an alien, how -

Deciding What to Do: If this wasn't planned, there needs to be a plan of action now.

Keep it Secret: You're attempting to keep your pregnancy a secret from your partner. This is only a bandaid for the bigger problem.

Telling Others: The other people in you two's life have to know at some point.

Drama: No one wanted you to have a kid and the anger is palpable.

Morning Sickness and More: Everything hurts and the mornings are hell.

Learning: If you're in a technologically advanced society, you may get to see an ultrasound. Otherwise, there are folk remedies that can be tried.

Manipulation: One of you is using the prospect of a child to bend the other to their will and make them stay.

My Body is a Cage: The person carrying the baby is having a decent amount of discomfort, mentally and physically.

Showing: It's a secret no longer with an expanding stomach.

Support: The partner who isn't carrying the child should do their best to be there and help out...

Overprotective: ...but to a degree. Don't act like the partner carrying the child is made of paper.

Getting Ready: The house or apartment or castle has to be babyproof.

Heart to Heart: It's time to talk about the big changes before the happen. Where do the two of you stand?

It's Happening: THE BABY IS COMING.

Rough Going: Childbirth is still a dangerous affair and there's no smooth sailing for you. So pace if you're lucky, scream in the bed if you're not.

Bad End: Not all new beginnings last. Sometimes, they become unhappy endings.

Coming Home: Finally, parents and baby get to settle down.

Getting Used to This: Well, maybe settle down. There's still crying in the night, feedings to do, diapers to change...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

The unexpected knock on the door caught Derek's attention and he looked sharply up from his book. Since leaving what was to be left of Storybrooke, Derek had slipped back into his hermit-like ways. He probably would've gained a ton of weight from the sudden switch back to strictly eating takeout because he couldn't be bothered to cook — families cooked. Lonely people ordered takeout — except that his metabolism protected him from that. He looked weary and lethargic, because he was, and he only ever left the apartment to go on his morning run and occasionally to the store or the bank, if he needed something. So visitors...were not a thing and he'd just ordered food; there was no way it was here yet. No way.

Derek had never really been a fan of magic. Not specifically the kind Storybrooke had been rife with, but just something in general that was more powerful and elusive than he could ever be, it frustrated him because it made him feel weak. This curse, ripping his new family away from him didn't feel too terribly unlike standing outside the once majestic Hale House with Laura, as teenagers and in shock, and watching the smoldering ashes and the remaining shell of it burn. Emma and Henry weren't dead like his family, but they might as well have been, because they were gone from him for...well, it could be forever. So to say that he hadn't also reverted to his distaste for magic in the absence of those who reminded him that it didn't always have to hurt, would've been a lie.

Sometimes, Derek would catch a passing scent that would remind him — Henry's soap; Emma's shampoo or perfume — and he'd have to tell himself that if she was going to come back for him, then he would know it.

He put the book down and moved to the door, pausing abruptly when he thought, for probably the millionth time since they'd gone, that he actually smelled Emma outside it. Don't be stupid, he thought, frowning as he pulled open the door, glowering for a second before he processed what he saw. Reflexively, he took a step back and blinked. "Emma…?"

Derek sounded taken aback and breathless, like he couldn't quite believe his eyes because...he couldn't.

If seeing him was enough for old instincts to kick in, Emma kept them hidden. She kept her hands in her pockets, fingers curling and uncurling into fists where he couldn't see, as if the movement would keep her from reaching out for him. It took everything in her not to throw her arms around him, but she'd caught the look when he first opened the door, and she'd noticed him move back the second she took a step forward. With a year of their lives spent apart, telling herself that it was all in her head wasn't enough to get her past the fear that he didn't want to see her.

"Derek," she answered quietly, a brief nod confirming what he hadn't asked. She'd thought, when she knocked on his door, that she could keep her emotions under control. Being with him made things different - made her have to work harder - and if she managed without the tears that threatened at the corner of her eyes and the rough rumble of a lump in her throat, it'd probably be some kind of miracle.

"We - we're back." Not just her and Henry, her parents, their friends, the diner, the library. The park where they used to job in the morning and the station where she's been trying to drag herself back to work. She hadn't come to look for him immediately; circumstances had made it so that she couldn't. They'd spent some time making sure everyone was accounted for, and settling back into the apartment. She'd needed it stocked, then she'd needed a sitter. As much as she'd wanted to head this way a few days ago, she couldn't leave until her family was ready for her to go.

"We're all back." Storybrooke, in it's entirety, without any sign that it'd ever gone missing. She was quiet for a moment, looking him over, eyes wide with unspoken concern. He looked the same in as many ways as he didn't, worn down and weary but still him, still the man she'd had to leave behind. If it made sense to start with that apology she would have, but she found herself looking past him for a moment and taking a step forward, awkwardly thinking to ask - "Can I come in?" It's a question that she doesn't know the answer to this time.

It was the sound of her voice, he thought, that finally finished the puzzle, the last slot fitting into place. He had thought a thousand times in the past year that he'd seen her or caught her scent, so it was easy enough for him to assume that he was dreaming and he'd passed out on the couch waiting for his dinner; that she wasn't really there. But it was the sound of her voice, which wasn't flat and semi-lost to memory the way it tended so often to be when he dreamed about her, that slapped him with the realization that Emma was really there. He was awake, this was real...she'd come back.

A part of him wondered whether she was coming back because she missed him and wanted to try to pick up where they'd left off or whether it was through some sense of obligation to give him closure because she'd moved on while she'd been gone. He swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat when she asked to come in.

"Yeah," he replied, his voice distant with that lost sort of sound that came when someone knew something was happening but was still in the process of wrapping their head around it. "Yeah, no yeah...come in, yeah, come in," he repeated, snapping out of it, looking at her rather than sort of...through her.

Derek took another step back, although this time to the side as well, making space for her to enter the apartment. It barely looked lived in, in spite of the fact that he only ever seemed to exist within its walls. He'd just never really gotten around to making it feel like home because he doubted it ever would be, really; it was always just going to be Neal's apartment, in the end, wasn't it? The only signs that he'd been living there rather than squatting were the fact that his boxes all just contained pictures and random items, but that his clothes and books — the only things he always used — were unpacked and put away properly. Well...the books are put away properly. The clothes...maybe less so. He hadn't done the laundry in a couple of weeks, so the hamper in his bedroom was starting to look a little terrifying.

He closed the door behind her and, for the first time in what feels like forever, no matter how badly he wanted to take her into his arms or kiss her or both, Derek wasn't actually sure those gestures would be welcome. So he shifted his weight awkwardly from one foot to the other, looking back at her and drinking in the sight of her just in case it was the last time he'd get to see her in person. Just in case she came to tell him that she was sorry, but she'd found someone new. "You look good," he commented with a ghost of a smile that fell short of anxious, uncertain eyes. And she did; she looked beautiful and Derek supposed she always would. He doubted the same could be said for him, because he probably didn't look a whole lot better than he felt, but he hadn't said it to receive the compliment in return. He'd said it because he meant it.

Edited 2016-08-04 22:40 (UTC)

She stepped in without another word, hesitating for a moment at the temptation of moving into his arms instead of passing him. Maybe if she hadn't invited herself in and brought news of an unexpected development with her, she would have been more comfortable giving in to it. Immediate happiness was too much to expect when he was completely unaware of what their life would be like if he came back with them. Assuming it was going to work out was just setting herself up for heartbreak that had grown too familiar in the last year. How many times had she tried searching for a way back only to discover that it required a curse, or an item that had become extinct - or worse, a heart? What options she'd had weren't really options at all.

"Enchanted forest castles are a cardio routine all their own," she admitted, smiling halfheartedly at the compliment. There wasn't much that had changed about her, save for a little extra definition in her arms, and a little less weight on her already athletic frame. Her hair was slightly longer and with a little more curl to it, but her clothes were still modern and almost overly familiar; black shirt, form-fitting jeans, a pair of boots and a red leather jacket. It was a uniform she'd missed in a year of impractical clothing, where no one seemed to understand the concept of leather being used in moderation.

Emma claimed a seat on the couch, leaning forward to clasp her hands over her knees. She left space for him to sit beside her, but didn't demand it like she wanted to. He could decide what he was comfortable with without her assuming everything was going to go back to the way it used to be.

"Henry wanted to come with me." He did, he'd asked, and then - "I would've let him, but his grandparents needed him at home, and he seemed to understand." As soon as he realized it would be his little sister's first weekend away from their mother, he offered to step in and be the steady. That was just how he was, wasn't it? When he knew someone needed him, he never failed them. "He's a pretty great kid." He'd always been a great kid, and now there were two of them who she'd get to share the world with. Emma held Derek's gaze for a moment, opening her mouth to say something and then closing it a second later, holding back the confession for a better opportunity to share it. Part of her just wanted to rush into it, but it was hard to know where to start.

"How have you been, Derek?" Maybe that was a safer way to begin a conversation. See what his life was like before she dropped the bomb. She didn't come here to take away whatever he wanted to build for himself, but it was hard for her to imagine that what he had on his own was better than the life they could have together.

For a moment, Derek just watched her move, settling down on the couch. She'd left him room and every ounce of him wanted to take the space beside her, but he couldn't get his limbs to cooperate just yet. There was still uncertainty swirling uncomfortably in his stomach, fluttering nerves he hadn't felt in a long time rearing their ugly heads again, reminding him of too many close calls that almost culminated in the end of their relationship and he hoped like hell that he was just being stupid and it wasn't a sign of what was to come.

Visibly, Derek brightened a little at the mention of Henry. If he'd wanted to come along and she was saying that the only reason he hadn't was because Mary Margaret and David had needed him home, rather than because it wasn't going to be a pleasant visit, then maybe that was a good sign. He smiled a little and finally was able to move, lowering himself onto the couch beside her. "He is a pretty great kid," he agreed easily enough, because Henry was. He'd been so afraid, once upon a time, that Henry wouldn't accept him; that the little boy wouldn't want Derek in his or his mother's lives and that that would be the end of it, but Henry had embraced Derek's presence and, for that, Derek would forever be grateful. He missed the kid almost as much as he'd missed Emma.

The question, whether or not it was meant to be, was a loaded one and Derek huffed softly, a humorless laugh that came with a smile which fell short of his eyes once again as he looked down. How had he been? How would you have been if it had been me? he wondered, but knew better than to ask, because there was no way for him to express it in a way that sounded as sincerely curious as it was; no matter how he said it, it would sound bitter and rhetorical.

So Derek shrugged to buy himself a few seconds and he shook his head. "I don't know. I'm alive, so...not terrible, I guess," he finally said, looking back up at her. He'd been surviving. He'd been getting by. But if she was looking for him saying he'd been fine or happy or something, he wasn't going to lie to her. He also wasn't willing to tell the whole truth because it wasn't her fault that she'd had to go and he didn't want to make her feel bad, but the truth was that he'd been fucking miserable without her; without them. "...you?" he asked, turning the question back around.

Even the most basic description Derek gave her was something to be grateful for. Alive hadn't been a guarantee when they were separated by entirely different worlds, and all she could think of was what would happen if his sick uncle wanted something out of him or if he went back to Beacon Hills to join whatever their latest fight was. She'd asked him to look out for himself but it was hard to know how seriously he'd take it when she wasn't there to remind him of his own importance. Derek never saw himself the way she did. It was a struggle she could relate to easily considering her upbringing, but while she had a family with her in the Enchanted Forest, Derek had been alone here.

"I've been... good," she said finally, a guilty look settling over her features. She wasn't just going to leave it there; she couldn't, it wasn't the whole truth. "It took me a long time to get there." When they'd first gone through the portal she'd been devastated, for herself and for the man who she'd promised would have a place in their town. She and Henry had both missed him more than she could begin to explain, and when she'd realized she was pregnant, that was heartbreak on an entirely different level than the one she'd wallowed in for a while. It seemed like the universe was bent on her spending every pregnancy separated from her kid's father. Shitty timing during one pregnancy was one thing, but two? That was a curse in it's own right.

"Henry helped turn things around for me." Henry going out of his way to try to get a smile out of her, and reminding her of the family they still had. Telling her that they hadn't lost Derek, and his new sibling was proof. The kid was right; he was the truest believer, but in the moments when she felt like she'd never see him again, she was ready to give up on that kind of love forever. "Some days - hell, some months, were harder than others." Like the day when their daughter was born, and every bittersweet milestone after that.

"There's something I need to tell you, Derek." It's not quite how she'd planned it. She'd thought maybe he'd give her a few more tells to work with, and if he has she's still too rusty to catch them. Emma could read into everything from the smallest smiles to the fact that he'd chosen to sit beside her but none of that meant anything until she pushed through and told him the rest of it. She clasped her hands together, then dropped them into her lap, fidgeting for a moment before she fixed her eyes on his. "I didn't know when we left, but when we were sent back? I was pregnant."

Quite frankly, if Derek hadn't been as lethargic in the wake of Storybrooke as he had been, in all likelihood, he'd have gone back to Beacon Hills. He didn't miss it, he didn't want to be there, he didn't want to fight their battles, and he had nothing to go back to, but at least he would've been able to pretend he had a purpose, protecting the town again. He couldn't even make himself do that, he was so done. He had telecommuted to make sure that Peter would never be released from Eichen House after all the ash had settled from the last big conflict, but other than that, he'd stayed away. Going into battle when one's heart wasn't in it was a good way to get one's self killed and Derek wanted to survive on the off chance that he got to pick up his real life again where he left off. Storybrooke, Emma, Henry; those were the things that created Derek's real life, he felt, and all the rest was just time passing. Waiting. Forever waiting, sometimes it seemed.

He was glad to hear that Emma was well and, selfishly, glad to hear that it hadn't been an overnight thing for her. He wondered what exactly had been the thing that turned it around for her, but he supposed it was probably her family. The Charmings had a way of making everything better, if you asked him, more often when they weren't even trying than when they were. She said Henry and Derek smiled his first genuine smile of the...year...huffing out a soft laugh. "That sounds about right," he replied, because of course it was Henry that fixed her. He was the truest believer. Henry was a little ball of light that couldn't be put out. He wished he'd had a Henry while Emma had been gone.

The preface she threw out made Derek's stomach knot with worry. That was one step below "we need to talk" in relationship terminology and it made him instantly nervous as he looked back at her. He used to be able to read her like a book. He'd lost his touch or she'd become more opaque. Maybe it was both. Derek watched her fidgeting, which only made him more nervous for whatever she was about to say, and when she finally looked up at him and actually came out with it, he blinked, not sure he'd actually heard that right.

Pregnant.

Without realizing it, Derek did the math in his head. If she hadn't lost the baby, she would've had it by now. Months ago. "You..." his words cut off as he looked back at her gobsmacked, because he didn't actually know how to respond. Was this good news? Was this Emma inviting him back into her family which had expanded in his absence? Or was this bad news? Was Emma letting him know because he deserved to, but she wasn't necessarily going to let him be a part of anything? Was he going to be a dad...or a biological father? Because, to Derek, there was a difference. His own dad having left not too terribly far into his own childhood, and Cora's father dying in the fire...well. Cora's father wasn't his biological father or Laura's, but he had been their dad. So there was a difference. "Is...did you have...I mean, did everything go...okay?" There wasn't really a delicate way to ask whether she had the baby or lost it, especially since he assumed that she hadn't lost it or she wouldn't have said anything. "...I have a child? That's what you're saying," he went on to clarify, knowing that it wouldn't have belonged to anyone else and the tone in his voice not suggesting anything else, but just needing to hear her come out and say it to cement it in his conscious mind. Derek took a shaking break in and let it out in a nervous sort of laugh as he looked back at her. "We have a child?"

She hadn't thought he'd worry that something went wrong, but as soon as he asked, Emma realized her mistake. "Yeah - yes." Yes, everything was fine. The circumstances hadn't been what she thought they'd be if the two of them ever settled down and had a child together, but aside from that, it was a normal pregnancy. Well, normal if you didn't count the typical good vs. evil battles in the forest her family lived in - which she didn't, because at this point, that was her new normal. Carrying their child had meant looking toward a day when their family would be together again, and now that it was here, she kept worrying about what was fair whether she was asking too much of him.

"We have a child, that's what - that's what I wanted to tell you." Along with a dozen other things like how much she'd missed him and how she wanted him to come home, but he was still processing. It wasn't like he had nine months to wrap his mind around the idea of being a family, it had already happened. They had a baby. As much as she tried to tell herself that he wasn't anything like Neal, she couldn't help thinking back on how hesitant Henry's father had been to go back to Storybrooke the first time she'd tried to invite him. He'd thought Tamara was good, and he'd wanted to stay in the city for her. Even in understanding all of that, it was hard to let go of the memory of putting herself out there only to be met with uncertainty.

"She's four months old, and she gets her temper from us, unfortunately." Which meant that when she was unhappy, she took the entire family down with her. "But she's perfect," perfect enough to get a smile out of Emma, who could let go of her worries for just long enough for that smile to be sincere. She hadn't been on her own this time, but she'd still wished Derek had been there to share the big moments with them. He'd missed all of her pregnancy, missed the birth of their child. It hurt to think that this was something he could have wanted that had been taken away from him. If they'd been together, it could have been a happier time than the nine months she'd spent without him.

"We never talked about having kids, but we have a kid. And I know I don't have a right to come back and expect things to be like they were, I know magic's probably not your favorite thing right now." And she has it, and for all she knows their daughter could have it. What she's asking him to come back to is a life where people disappear without warning, and bad guys swoop in through portals for centuries-old grudges. It's not perfect, but to her, it's worth fighting for. "I'm sorry that we left, but I can't change what happened. And now there's a huge part of it that I wouldn't change for anything."

Derek felt like his whole body was swelling with a range of emotions he couldn't even begin to process at that news. He'd always wanted children — it was why it was so easy for him to treat Henry like he was Derek's own, even when they both knew he wasn't — but he hadn't ever thought they would be in the cards. He'd always sort of assumed that half the reason he and Emma hadn't ever talked about it was because she didn't want to. She had Henry and that kid was great, even Derek was willing to admit that. Maybe she felt fulfilled to that end and that was why the subject hadn't ever come up. That and he hadn't wanted to be the one to bring it up, because...well. She had Henry and Henry was a great kid.

He was excited and relieved and elated at the idea of having a child — a daughter, he realized, as Emma went on — but broken and disappointed over the fact that he'd missed the whole pregnancy. He'd missed the birth. He'd missed a handful of milestones already. He had a daughter...and she would have no idea who he was. What if she'd already latched onto Henry as that figure for her, or David? Would Derek ever really have a place in her life; did kids sort of...imprint like that? He loved children, but he didn't know a lot about them.

But then Emma was continuing on that she didn't have a right to come back and expect things to be what they were — to some degree, she was right. He would be clingier. He would be more skittish of magic than he had been — but, for him, the fundamentals hadn't changed. He still loved her. He'd still missed her and the family he'd built with her. "Emma, that's all I've wanted this whole time," he breathes, looking shocked that she could even think that he'd have thought to move on without her. Of course, that wasn't fair, considering he worried that she'd moved on without him, but Derek would probably always have that little seed of doubt within himself, wherein he thought that he wasn't ever good enough to wait for.

"Magic is not my favorite," he agreed, then, looking caught between resigned and apologetic, "but all I've wanted this whole time is my family back. That's it. I just want my family back and you're it. You and Henry and—" he stopped short. "...what's her name? Our baby, what's her name?" He realized that in his rush of emotion, it didn't occur to him to ask and he couldn't recall whether Emma said. He didn't think she had.

Magic wasn't his favorite, but it was a part of her, and a part of Henry. She was willing to bet it was a part of their daughter's life too, if a curse-breaking kiss from over a year ago was any kind of hint. If he was with them he couldn't escape it, and now he'd seen just how little protection she could offer when someone rolled in looking to hurt them. She wanted him to be with them, though, and maybe his dislike for it was something they'd have to work through. Emma didn't have anything positive to say about the magic that had separated their new family, but magic on it's own wasn't terrible. The person using it tended to make all of the difference. After all, it was a location spell that had brought her to his door. The most important thing was that they both still wanted this; they could work their way through the rest of it, the same way they had everything else.

She took a deep breath at the mention of their baby's name, hesitating for a moment while she reached into her pocket to take out her phone. That only bought her a few seconds, at best, to figure out how to tell him. At the time she'd wanted her little girl to have something of her father's family to hold on to. Last names weren't big in the Enchanted Forest, and even if they were, that wasn't exactly the same. Combine her absolute lack of ability to name things with her desire to somehow connect their child to her father, and the result was - "Laura." Hopefully he'd understand why, in spite of the absolute chaos their baby was born into. "Laura for your sister, Ruth for my dad's mom." Swan because that was the assumption when she'd taken her to the hospital for a check-up the other day, but they could compromise on that one.

Emma sat still for a moment, giving him time to process while she opted to pretend she wasn't focusing on him. She was, because at the time it'd felt like a good idea but now - "Is that okay?" It had to be, it wasn't like they could change it, but a part of her still needed to hear it from him. She tapped a few buttons on her phone until an image came up; Emma, Henry, and Laura huddled into one side of a booth at Granny's, the infant alert and cheerful in her brother's arms. "This was our first trip to Granny's the other day. She likes being around people." Especially family, but it wouldn't be long before Derek could see that for himself.

Derek looked both touched and surprised. He didn't talk about Laura a lot because it hurt too much. Every once in a while, he'd slip in an anecdote if it was relevant to a conversation and she knew about Laura because of his initial trepidation surrounding Ruby, but it was a pleasant surprise to know that she'd not only retained it but had thought fit to use his sister's name for her baby when, at the time, there had been no way of knowing, most likely, that she would ever see him again.

There was a mix of endeared sadness swimming in his eyes, but he smiled all the same and he nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Yeah, that's okay. That's more than okay." Seeing her tapping around on the photo gallery of her phone, Derek felt his chest tighten with anticipation. He hated that the first time he was ever going to see his first child was on a cell phone screen, but it was better than nothing at all, which was what he'd had up until right that moment.

Absently, Derek took the phone, not actually meaning so much to take it from her so much as he was so engrossed in looking at the picture of his family — even though he wasn't in it — that he hadn't even noticed he'd done so. "She looks just like you," he murmured fondly, more to himself than to Emma even though the "you" in the statement was clearly Emma. Except for her dark hair, she did look just like Emma. "He got big," he added with widening eyes. "When did he get so tall?" Henry.

Derek looked back up at Emma, belatedly realizing that the phone was in his hands and he held it back out to her apologetically. A soft huff of amusement escaped him when she said Laura liked being around people. "Clearly those are your genes," he joked. It wasn't entirely true. Derek liked being around people, too, because he was a pack animal at heart. He didn't trust them right away and it took a while to warm up to them, in general, but he did like being around them a hell of a lot more than being alone. Mostly, he'd said it to make the in-joke that he was an anti-social stick in the mud — a joke they hadn't used in a while because he'd grown out of that persona — to acknowledge that he hadn't forgotten about their life together and he still welcomed its presence in his own, if she wanted it.

"You think? I see some of you in there." Enough that if she hadn't told him, she thinks he would have known by looking at her. She'd kicked around the idea of bringing Henry and Laura with her, but the situation was a little too delicate for her to show up at his door with their daughter in her arms. And honestly, even if it wasn't, she didn't treasure the idea of traveling with an infant who was just getting used to this world. Life in the forest might have been more intense, but the days (and nights) were quieter. The kid was still getting used to the sounds of Storybrooke, and she doubted the thing her kid needed to exposed to during that adjustment were city noises and traffic.

"Henry grows a few inches every time I look away from him. Laura too, to be honest. She's doubled in size since she was born." As small as she is now, she started out smaller; and louder. She sleeps through the night now, or she did, until they came here. Now that eight hours seems to be broken up with some screaming halfway through, as if she's not completely sold on this world when all she knew up until a few days ago was a very different one. "I can't keep up with either one of them." At least with Laura, she has years to watch her grow. Sometimes she still stings to think of everything she missed with Henry. He has a good six years until adulthood, and Emma already knows it won't be enough for her.

"You think I'm the social one?" She laughed, for the first time since leaving Storybrooke. Derek might have liked to pretend he was the big bad wolf, but there were plenty of times when Emma wasn't much better. Catch her on an off day and... well, there was a reason why the two of them used to spend so much time fighting like cats and dogs. Maybe that was something for them to work on, now that they a baby who'd have to hear it.

"I just want her to meet you. I want you to come home, Derek." They were on the same page this time. She wasn't going to pretend that it wasn't what she wanted, or to keep him at a distance because it seemed safer than the alternative. As hard as they fought to be together, in the end, there was nothing they could do keep the universe from tearing them apart. If they were screwed no matter what, then she didn't want to lose time trying to prevent something that was beyond her control.

"Yeah, I think she looks a lot like you," Derek confirmed, but he was smiling. It wasn't like he thought he was unattractive or anything, because he knew that he wasn't, conventionally speaking, but he liked that his daughter had Emma's softer features rather than his sharper ones. It suited her.

His smile faded a little when Emma said how much Laura was growing...because he'd missed it. He'd missed her when she was tiny; he'd missed being able to help Emma out by taking turns tending to her when the baby wouldn't sleep through the night. She was still little and he still had lots of things he wouldn't have to miss, but it wasn't a good feeling, knowing that he'd missed what he had. "Kids tend to do that, I guess," he said quietly, his smile returning but with a little hint of sadness in it.

As Emma laughed, and Derek finally got to see her genuinely smile again, his smile returned in the form of a grin. "One of us must be," he teased. The thing about Derek and Emma was that he thought they were probably a little bit too much alike sometimes. It was why they tended to butt heads and fight even though they both loved each other so much. Or at least, that was how it used to be. He didn't really know where she stood, anymore, he only knew where he did.

But hearing her say that she wanted him to come home, Derek looked back at her with probably a lot more hope in his eyes than he would've liked her to see. "I want to come home, Emma," he replied, because she should know that he wanted it. "I missed you — all of you — so much, I really did. ...I never unpacked, really, just my books and clothes. I can pack in less than an hour. I want to come home, too. I really do, this whole time, that's all I've wanted."

It wasn't hard to figure out what Derek wanted now that they were back together, but hearing it went a long way toward reminding her that the family she'd wanted for the last year was finally coming together. She nodded as she slipped her phone back into her pocket and reaching over, taking his hand in hers. "We missed you too, every day." If not for Laura and Henry, she might have struggled for a lot longer than she did. Having her children to focus on had been a reason to keep her heart open and to hope that they'd find their way back here. When they left, Emma didn't know whether or not she'd ever see him again; but she knew she had to be the mother her kids deserved no matter what.

"You can pack in less than an hour, I need a night of sleep to get over the drive." She couldn't blame him for wanting to get back to the life that had been taken away from him, but eight hours in a car and a large part of that stuck in traffic meant that she wasn't ready to hop back in and head home. Her body was conditioned to wake up when the baby did; she'd probably only sleep for four hours at a time, but she needed at least that before she got back in the yellow beetle for longer than the time it would take her to track down a room for the night.

She looked down at their hands for a moment and smiled. It wasn't enough; it probably wouldn't be until she could hold him close again; but it was something, some kind of starting place. He had to know that she still loved him, she wouldn't have come back and asked him to reunite with their family if she didn't. "Take tonight to get ready and we'll leave in the morning, okay? It'll take me at least an hour to find a room around here." If she wanted to spend the night beside him, she didn't expect it and she didn't ask for it. She couldn't rush him back into what they had, he'd been through too much for that. "It's my first night without Laura, but Henry knows what to do." At least that was what she told herself to keep from freaking out - and so far, it was working.

Edited 2016-08-06 07:33 (UTC)

Even though some part of him knew that he couldn't possibly be the only one hurting in the wake of the curse, it was nice to hear all the same. Emma and Henry had become Derek's whole life, all-encompassing and overwhelming in the best possible way. So to have them torn away from him hadn't just hurt, it had been crippling. Worse, he couldn't medicate the subsequent depression like humans could. No prescription was going to touch him, no recreational drug or alcohol was going to be strong enough unless there was a lunar eclipse, and even then it would have only lasted a couple of hours. With no way to deal with his pain and no way to make it stop, he'd simply retreated to a safe spot that wouldn't ever feel like home and he waited it out because he could barely function otherwise. Emma had a support system and he was glad for it, because he wouldn't have wished his own brand of wallowing on anyone, especially not her. But it was nice to know that he hadn't been alone in wishing things could have been different.

"Well, I didn't mean we should go right now," he laughed, shaking his head and giving her hand a little squeeze. "I'm just saying. I could pack in less than an hour, so it'll be easy to get me out of here when you're ready." He wasn't really looking forward to the drive, if he was honest, because it was long and Derek wasn't a big fan of road trips, but at least he would be heading toward something instead of slinking away from it with defeat like the last road trip he'd taken.

Derek looked surprised and maybe a flash of panic flickered in his eyes when she said she would need to look for a room. "...you don't want to stay here?" he asked. Neal's apartment hadn't been much and Derek certainly hadn't bothered to make it any more homey, but he'd just sort of assumed that if she wanted him back, then she felt the same way he did. If she wanted to go find a room, though, maybe he was mistaken.

Neal's apartment was now Derek's apartment, more or less. It hadn't changed very much since the last time she'd been in it, but that didn't mean he wanted her back in the same way that she wanted him. Emma had her own experiences of abandonment that she grappled with, situations where picking up where they'd left off definitely wouldn't have been okay. She didn't know how he felt about it until he asked her to stay, an invitation almost immediately worth a sigh of relief. "Is that what you want? I can - I don't have to. If this is too much too soon, I can find someplace else." Her apartment in the city was long gone, but she knew of a few hotels she could try.

"I don't want you to feel like things have to go back to the way they were." It was what she wanted, but it was a little too selfish to own up to. When she left, she thought their separation would last a month, tops, until they found a way home and jumped through another portal. She couldn't have imagined having to pick things up a year later with a baby in tow, and now that the situation was a baby after a year away, all Emma could do was doubt herself. The year had brought a lot of changes, and with it, she'd changed too. she couldn't blame him if he didn't like the person she'd turned into. Spending a year without the man she loved hadn't necessarily forced her guard back up, but it'd been a blow to to confidence he typically expected from her. She wasn't as sure of her place in his life as she had been the first time.

Derek couldn't decide whether he was more heartbroken for himself or on her behalf when he realized that she wasn't sure whether he wanted to pick up where they left off. Here, his worry had been that she wouldn't want to.

"...that's all I want," he replied quietly. "I just want things to go back to the way they were before. And I know it'll be different; we've got a year's worth of missing pieces to find and put back together and now there's a baby, and I get it, it's not going to happen right away, Emma, but... That's all I want. I just want my life back; our life back. I want you to stay," he said.

Something he'd learned about Emma and that he liked to think she'd learned about him was that with their trust and abandonment issues, it was usually better if one of them just broke down and told the God's honest truth, no matter how raw and vulnerable it made them feel. Typically, the other was soon to follow to some degree. If things had changed so much in the year that Emma didn't feel like she could still do that with him, the least he could do was put himself out there, because a baby step was still a step. And they had a long way to walk to meet in the middle.

The worst part was that, a year ago, she wouldn't have needed to hear it. Hell, a year ago, she might have initiated it. She'd gotten better at reaching out when she realized that it was safe to; when those trips he took across the country for a weekend in New York only happened because he wanted to be with her, and when life in Storybrooke meant him volunteering to spend time with her son. It might have taken a while for her to realize that he was fighting for a place in her life, but once she did, Emma had accepted it. Making him start all over again wasn't fair, yet she couldn't deny the weight lifted off of her uncertain shoulders when he told her that he wanted a life together.

"I'll stay," she nodded, letting go of his hand to slide it across his back instead, catching him in a sideways hug. A night with him sounded like exactly what she needed. "I want our life back, too." A life that involved a little more than the two of them trying to navigate their relationship and Henry supporting it. They had a little girl who'd depend on them for everything, and once they got back into Storybrooke, maybe that would be a good thing. It was hard to dwell on everything that had gone wrong when they had someone who needed them at all hours of the day. "I still love you, I never stopped."

It was Derek's turn to feel relieved when she agreed to stay. More so when she said exactly what he had been hoping to hear while fearing he never would. "I still love you, too. I never stopped, either. I never will," he said quietly, moving his own arm to mirror her gesture, drawing her closer and turning his head to press his lips to the top of her head, lingering against her hair.

He took in the scent of her, fresh and real and actually Emma for the first time in what felt like forever and then some. "I missed you so much..." he confessed softly. There were a million things going through his head and just as many that they should probably talk about and start to work through together so that they could get back to where they were — being apart for a year probably did a little damage that neither of them have even though about yet and Derek was sure it was totally fixable, it was just going to take a little effort and a lot of patience — but for right now, all he wanted was to just absorb himself in Emma.

He kissed the top of her head again before pulling back and looking back at her. "I love you so much, Emma Swan," he said with a little smile. And he wanted so badly to kiss her to accentuate that statement but he wasn't sure that he should or whether she would want him to. These were the things they were going to have to work on. Things that were natural responses before were suddenly awkward and questionable because they'd been apart for so long and Derek wasn't sure what the lines in the sand were or whether there were any at all.

There was time to learn what had changed and what had stayed the same. Suddenly they had a future again, with two children to think of and a surprisingly large group of family and friends to help them navigate their renewed relationship. It wasn't perfect, but that had been part of the appeal all along, hadn't it? They filled in all the cracks and smoothed over all the sharp edges, and together, they'd managed to build something out of that understanding. She'd always wish he still had his family, just like he would have never wanted to see Emma separated from hers, but their lives hadn't worked out that way. They lived with loss, and issues, and damage. What they saw in each other, they'd never found in anyone else.

She lifted her head to his confirmation, pressing her lips to his cheek when he didn't take a kiss on his own. It was allowed, but she couldn't fault him when she was equally uncertain - when that kiss on the cheek had been intended as a kiss on the lips, and she'd chickened out somewhere in that second of movement. "I'll never tell you not to say that ever again," she teased, her tone a little too serious for the joke to land with any humor in it. A year ago she would have called him a sap and teased that she knew. Now she didn't think she'd ever get tired of hearing it.

"Are you still going to love me if I crash early?" Because the emotional exhaustion of the drive and seeing Derek again had her ready to call it a night. He wanted to come home and be a part of their family, it didn't get much better than that.

The kiss to his cheek was a start. It let Derek know that she wasn't opposed to shows of affection and he doubted it would take long to slide back into a more natural display of it. He smiled a little in spite of the heaviness between them just then. There was a time when she wouldn't have been willing to hear it all that often. There was a time when he'd had to keep that sentiment to himself for fear of scaring her away. Funny how life worked; now be worried that if he didn't hear it straight from his mouth, she would second guess her faith in the fact that he felt it.

At her question, he shook his head. "I didn't miss you enough to keep you up when you're tired," he joked, because unless things had changed drastically, Emma was just as grouchy about being kept up when tired as he was. Finally, he took the chance and leaned forward a little to give her a chaste kiss on the mouth, having to make a conscious effort to keep it chaste when he was dying to taste her again.

"I just ordered Thai, so I'm gonna be up for a little bit, because it should be here soon. ...are you hungry? We could have dinner and then I'll go to bed with you?" he offered, sounding the slightest bit nervous for it. This would pass, he had to remind himself. It wouldn't feel like they'd backtracked to the beginning forever. It would fade and things would be fine.

Emma's been in a constant state of tired, lately. Tired from taking care of her family, tired from trying to find a way home, tired from fighting against Zelena's threats. Her parents have her little brother to take care of, and as much as they've tried to pull double duty and be there for her, she's been her stubborn self in an attempt to keep from taking the focus off of Neal. Having their support meant more to her than she could ever put into words, but she knew they deserved a chance to raise their son without their grown daughter expecting them to step in when life got hard.

She leaned into the kiss without demanding more, pausing as it broke - hinting that she was aware of his effort and offering her own. The hope was that they had plenty of time to work through their issues, but the fear was that anything could take him away from her again. Her family didn't have a great history when it came to overcoming curses. The only upside of the most recent one was that it didn't last for twenty-eight years like the one Regina had cast on the day she was born.

"I can stay up for Thai." Possibly even for the guy who'd ordered it. If he didn't mind her getting a little quiet on him during the wait, Emma was happy to share a meal with him for the first time in a year. She couldn't even remember the last thing they'd eaten or where they'd been at the time. They used to think they had a future ahead of them, and now they knew not to take it for granted.

The two of them were, as far as Derek could tell, going to be climbing an uphill battle to get back to the way things were, but on the plus side, it didn't appear to Derek that the hill was terribly steep. They were going to have to take things slow and relearn one another's tells and relearn the ability to silently communicate with one another, but none of that will be difficult so much as time consuming. At least, that's what Derek thinks. That's what Derek hopes.

He smiled a little when she said she'd stay up, because admittedly, a part of him wanted her to so that they could spend a little more time together. He wanted to hear more about what he'd missed. He wanted to hear more about the kids; his daughter. It was funny how something simple like having dinner together was something he didn't realize he could miss so much until the option was no longer there.

"I'm really glad you came, Emma," he said. "I missed you so much and I was starting to wonder if I might never see you again, because that would've been my luck," he admitted almost sheepishly. It wasn't that he was afraid she wouldn't want to come back to him or that she'd never find a way — although, admittedly, some little piece of him was afraid of that — but mostly, it was that he was afraid that his own terrible luck with women was just taking on a new form and now that he'd found someone he loved who genuinely loved him in return, the Universe was going to keep her away from him. There were no words to describe the relief he felt to find that that fear hadn't come to fruition. Derek hoped that it never did.

His face registered some alarm just then. "Did you text Henry? To let him know that you got here?" He'd gotten so wrapped up in the fact that she was there and she was real that he'd actually forgotten the part where there were people back in Storybrooke who cared about her too and who might worry if they didn't hear confirmation that she'd arrived to Manhattan safely.

Emma almost laughed at the question; not because it was funny, it just reminded her of how good he'd always been with Henry. She probably hadn't had to worry so much about telling him about Laura, but after a year of being apart a lot of old insecurities had crept back in. She couldn't help feeling like she'd disrupted a life they used to be comfortable in, yet it didn't take anything more than being with their daughter to realize that their little girl would bring more joy to their lives, not less. She nodded quickly to the question and then reached for her phone to send another text. "I talked to him when I parked. I've been getting moody baby updates all day."

Laura was too little to be expected to handle the separation well. She was a fussy little girl sometimes with an ear-piercing cry, which was probably something Emma needed to warn Derek about on the car ride home. If there was anything she'd fallen out of practice with, it was living with a werewolf. "Should I tell him you're coming home?" She didn't want to ruin the surprise, but it was Henry. The kid had known all along that Derek would come back the moment they gave him the chance to.

Maybe she should have admitted that she'd worried about seeing him again, but now that they were back, the last thing she wanted to do was think of everything that had gotten in the way of them being a family before their daughter was born. "I feel like Henry's spent the last year expecting this, you know how he operates." On the assumption that everything is going to work out, while Emma defaults to worrying that it won't.

It was kind of strange how easily he slipped right back into the role he'd played in their lives before, simply by asking that question. He'd forgotten what it felt like to be a part of a family; he'd forgotten what it felt like to step into a non-conventional parental role, and yet, he picked right back up where he'd left off there the second he snapped out of his pleasant shock at her arrival and her incredibly good news to make sure she'd remembered to check in with Henry. "I'm not surprised, if it's the first time you've had to leave her." He almost told her that she could've called, but he bit it back because really, no she couldn't have. Derek never checked his phone anymore because he had no one calling or texting him, and even if he did, "hey, by the way, you're a father now," didn't really seem like news that ought to be shared over text message or even a phone call.

A quiet laugh escaped him then and he nodded. Henry just always seemed to know that things were going to find a way to work themselves out. Maybe it was more than just the fact that he was the Truest Believer and maybe it had something to do with some form of intuition the kid had; Derek wasn't sure. "Yeah, you can tell him I'm coming home," he replied with a smile. "I know how he is. He probably knows that already anyway, but you might as well give him the satisfaction of being right."

A buzz sounded from the intercom near Derek's door and he got up to buzz the delivery guy up, looking over his shoulder at Emma as he moved to fish his wallet out of his leather jacket's pocket where it was hanging from a hook near the door. "I didn't order anything to drink, so I...pretty much have beer and bottled water in the fridge. Feel free to help yourself while I'm getting this all handled."

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