bakerstreet | ( nursed back to health shipping meme. )

[Cloud didn't bother to reply to that comment, shaking his head a bit. He knew that he was mostly just talking out his ass at this point, saying what he was apparently suppose to say in a situation like this because it was the same sort of thing everyone did. But there were some things, some of those 'everyone does them' things, that were helpful.

Like controlling your breathing.

A soft frown touches his lips as the other's forehead connects with his shoulder. He really wished there was a doctor he could take the other to; someone they could trust with this but right now they didn't have a lot of options. Cloud just wasn't sure if he was going to be able to do enough.]

Yeah...only a few more to go.

[A few is kind of an understatement but he's trying to lighten the mood.]

[ A doctor would be wonderful right about now.

You know. One of the nice ones that preferably didn't stick you with needles and dissect you with scalpels. Those docs he'd be good with.

But... not much of an option, no. He's going to have to trust in Cloud here. Thing is? That's a definite at least. He trusted him with Sephiroth. He's not about to lose his faith in him now. So, he nods against Cloud's shoulder with another touch of quiet laughter, hand coming up to finally rest on the shoulder of the man before him. ] Let's keep going.

[ Knowing they both know the truth of the script doesn't stop Zack from using it any less. ]

Edited 2016-05-03 21:23 (UTC)

[Like he would let anyone but an actually decent doctor touch you, Zack, after everything that's happened.

He's hesitant to continue, if only because that first unwrapping had caused his friend so much pain but..they don't have a lot of choices. So Zack's nod prompts a nod from the blonde in return as he starts to work at another wrapping--this one around Zack's chest.

It's not as easy as the first one had been and there aren't near as many layers to it, meaning after only a few passes he's peeling it away again. Cloud fights the urge to stop as the wound blossoms red when the bandages are pulled away, monitoring Zack's breathing as best he can.]

[ Probably for the best... though kneejerk fist throwing might happen anyway.

But not with Cloud. Even as he starts to unwrap that next wound, Zack sticks firm to his belief in him. Even when it really starts to tug and pull at the wound beneath just like it had before- only its definitely worse this time and it's not about to get any better, the more Cloud progresses with it. For all of what Zack's endured in his life and all of which he'll stubbornly continue to endure in the future, pain of this degree simply isn't something anyone gets used to. Pain of this degree breaks up his breathing pattern again.

Enough pain to garner a pathetic hint of a whimper through clenched teeth, even as he does his best to bite it back. Endure, endure, endure. He lets out a sharp breath, pushing Cloud despite his worries with a ] Do-Don't stop.

[Try as you might, Zack, there's no helping the way his hands falter as he catches that faint whimper, his gaze snapping up to focus on the other's face. He starts to say something but Zack gets there first and Cloud immediately wants to protest. They can take their time with this. There's no need to rush it.

But he knows if he was in Zack's position he'd be demanding the same thing.

His hands are still for a moment longer as he stares at his friend, tries to reassuring himself that this is okay and that continuing is the best option. Finally the bandages are moved again and Cloud starts to ease them around for another pass, his jaw clenched as he attempts to get this done as quickly as he can--

Without making the other bleed more than he has to.]

[ It doesn't surprise him when he falters. Not really. If there roles were reversed, he would have done the same. There's no doubt in his mind of that. But waffling around it will get them nowhere. He knows it... and Cloud does, too. Zack can see it in his eyes if not barely through his own squinting ones.

He wants to reassure him. He usually does. But in the pain, it's hard to crack a smile that doesn't look rueful. And it's a bare bones of one at that when already Cloud's starting to peel at them again. He sucks in another breath, tensing without meaning to as another layer's slowly but painfully unwound. He knows Cloud's trying to get it over quick. He knows he's not the only one hurting in this. It might not be physically, but he can see the emotions crossing Cloud's face, even if-

Zack has to duck in again against Cloud's shoulder to muffle a howl through clenched teeth as the last of that bandage. It's difficult to see the condition of the wound when blood's already swelled up out of the openings and has begun trickling down his side, but it's definitely nothing good. Zack's breathing's momentarily erratic, even as he fights for that self-control he had just moments before. ] Go-Good- I'm-

Stop--just stop talking for a second.

[Despite how worried and perhaps even a little panicked that he feels, his voice is firm. It's an order; one that he expects Zack to follow for the moment because he needs to--he has to stop the bleeding.

An arm is wrapped around his friend to keep him steady while he manages to reach out with his free hand to snag the closest thing he can--in this case the shirt Zack had been wearing when everything happened. He folds the shirt up in a not so neat manner before pressing it against the wound. If he could at least stop the bleeding, he'd be able to get a good look at the wound and clean it up before he rewrapped it.

Cloud let out a breath as he kept pressure against the wound and he absently let his head fall against Zack's. It was one part to be comforting but largely so he could monitor the other's breathing.]

I'm sorry.

[It was the only thing he could think to say. He felt so helpless--so useless right now.]

[ Whether it's due to his friend's request or the fact that he's still struggling to to catch his breath, Zack follows that order. At least long enough to start to the process of settling himself again.

It... takes longer this time. Likely longer than Cloud would like. That much Zack knows, but he's doing all he can all the same. It's the feeling of that soft pressure of Cloud's cheek against his own, his arm around his body, and the voicing of that apology... Zack reaches up now, shakily curling an arm around his friend in turn despite himself. ] No-Not your fault, Spike.

[ He chose to do what he did. He chose knowing full well the consequences. He's glad he made that choice. Glad Cloud's still alive because of it. He's not about to regret it now. ]

Edited 2016-05-08 13:21 (UTC)

[It's only longer than he'd like because he's worried. Worried that the other's wounds are only going to get worse at this rate and not better because he's not a doctor. He knows how to dress a wound in the field but not how to go beyond that. This is well beyond his skill level and they're going to have to find a doctor before...before things get any worse.

Cloud bites back a sound when the other's arm goes around him and Zack reassures him that it's not his fault. His eyes close and he forces his breathing to stay steady in hopes of not letting the other onto how out of sorts he is right now.]

I don't know what to do.

[He doesn't know how to fix this.]

[ A doctor may likely be their go-to in the end. It might have to be a thing. But then Zack has been through worse. Or so he argues in his woozy mind.

Doesn't stop Cloud from worrying though, does it. The thing is he knows him. Zack knows how much he worries. Sorry, man. Your self-esteem issues of the past attested as much and that doesn't just go away. So, despite the way it hurts to flex his arm as it does, he ignores it, regardless, in favor of cupping the back of his head with his hand. In favor of pressing his him just a bit closer. ] You're doing fine. You're doing.. everything you can do. It's all I could.. ask for.

[ Fingers weakly flex and rub at the back of Cloud's head as Zack tries to coax him down from that train of thought. ] I trust you..

[Cloud was going to do whatever he could to find a doctor they could trust. He just hoped it wouldn't take too long.

Never. Worry is his second natural state because of you, Zack.

The way the other's moving more than he should does nothing to ease that worry, either. He starts to protest ("Zack, what--") but it's cut off as their heads are pressed closer. A shiver goes through him and his arm tightens around the other out of instinct, enjoying the closeness and that reassurance that Zack was there. He was okay despite the wounds. And, of course, he has to go and worry more about Cloud than himself which only makes the blonde feel both guilty and touched.]

What if it's not enough? [It's barely above a whisper when it does come out but he knows Zack will hear it regardless, his mouth suddenly feeling drier than before.] I don't..I can't do this without you. [He would never have survived in the first place if it wasn't for Zack. He's not a SOLDIER like the other man was. He doesn't have the experience. Or maybe it's just that he doesn't have the confidence.]

[ He'd hold out until then. With every fiber of his being. He's stubborn like that. You'd know firsthand, Spike.

But that's not Zack's immediate concern right then, no. His concern's in the thick tension in the air. And it's a tension doesn't go away, even when he feels Cloud reciprocating. Feels that arm wind around tighter, perhaps too tight, but if it adds to the pain, Zack doesn't show it. Instead, he shakes his head minutely, cheek rubbing against cheek in the process. A dry, quiet laugh escapes him. ]

There you go.. selling yourself short again. [ He takes a moment to take a long, deep breath. To exhale it out slowly, evenly as he can. ] Cloud.. We'll get through this. [ There's a pause as he uses his free hand to struggle and reach. To find the hand pressing down on his wound and to cup his own over it weakly. ] -This right here? This is just.. a setback.

[Had Cloud been thinking straight he may not have gripped the other so tightly but his resolve his crumbling. The emotions he'd been keeping in check are starting to seep out and now that it's started he's having trouble holding himself together.

A tremble goes through him at the touch of Zack's cheek against his own, a shaky breath escaping him as he leans in just needing more of that. More of that contact. More of that solidarity.]

It's a pretty big setback. [He tries to joke but it falls flat, his voice wavering when he says it.] You..you got hurt protecting me and now I can't do much but cause you more pain trying to keep you together. I'm bad luck for you.

[ He feels that shiver- it's hard not to when he's pressed against him like he is -and his expression softens. It's all too telling he's coming apart. All too telling that any moment, he'll-

And then there it is. A weak touch of banter back before he's scrambling for words and blaming himself and that's not gonna fly. Zack shows as much in the way he snaps out a sudden: ] Don't. [ He peels back then despite the way his wounds fire up. Just enough so that he can see Cloud face to face, bright mako eyes a piercing gaze just a few inches off from him. And that gaze doesn't waver though he stays his hand from that comforting touch a moment at the base of his neck. ]

That's a load of chocobo crap and you know it.

[Cloud flinches at the snapped out word but he knows he deserved that. He's in a downward spiral of what ifs and negative thoughts and it's not going to help the situation. It's just hard to climb back out once it's been put into motion.

Still, he allows himself to be pushed back and manages to meet Zack's gaze, an apology in his eyes that he can't put into words.]

I...the bad luck thing might be true. [A weak attempt at lightening the mood.] I should have fought with you but instead I was useless. [Poisoned by something that made others so strong. True they usually went through the process a bit more systematically and not all at once but still.] And right now I.. [He looks down then, the hand on Zack shifting the fabric slightly to apply a bit more pressure.] I don't know what to do to make this any better for you. I feel lost.

[ They used to go through a very specific systematic process when it involved mako. Hojo, himself, had jumped ahead by a mile. Injected way too much. It's a miracle Cloud even survived. It's an argument on the tip of his tongue... but honestly, it's not exactly the kind of morbid argument he feels would help the situation right then. Not with Cloud looking apologetically at him like that. Doesn't stop him from raising a brow about the bad luck jab, but...

Then he loses eye contact and Zack can feel the push again against his naked, bloodied skin. His hand down there squeezes Cloud's in turn. Weakly at first... Then firmer at his admission. ] Cloud...

I know it might not look like it- ..to you, but. Things will get better.. [ There's a tilt to his head as it lulls slightly from his efforts to remain as he is, forehead touching forehead, but he continues, regardless. ] It's gonna hurt like this sometimes.. but it'll heal. And that's all thanks to you.. [ Does Cloud really think he would be able to function enough to do this by himself? Because the shorthand answer to that's a flat no. ]

[The press of Zack's forehead against his own helps to ground him a bit, helps to draw him out of the thoughts that are weighing so heavily on his mind. He leans into the touch, pressing closer as he closes his eyes and does his best to latch onto the words the other is speaking.]

It...sometimes it just feels like it's impossible for it all to get better. [Because bad thing after bad thing keeps happening. But he can't think like that. Zack's right. It will get better. They had to make sure it got better.

His expression starts to crumble slightly but he's trying to keep some composure, shifting the hand he has pressed against Zack's wound to kind of tangle their fingers together. Just a little.]

Thank you.

[ There's a measure of relief when he feels Cloud pressing back. When he feels that tension start to fade somewhat. It doesn't entirely go away- and really, he doesn't expect it to. It's never that easy, especially so when it comes to Cloud. But... that just makes him want to try all the harder. Stubborn as hell. That's what Zack Fair is. Among other things.

So, he expects Cloud to still doubt, expects Cloud to still question.

He doesn't quite expect that gratitude though. Or the way he starts to weave his fingers through his own. Despite the blood that he's sure is covering Cloud's hands, he decides to finish what he started, lacing his hand the rest of the way in a way that the other man can't with his hand busy pressed to the wound. ]

Anytime, Spike.. And hey.. look, I know the feeling. It's been pretty crazy, well.. constantly. [ He lets out a dry chuckle then, shaking his head, more or less unintentionally nuzzling him by the action. ] Sometimes it feels even impossible for me.. but hell if I'm gonna let it end this way.. you know?

How can you be so optimistic all the time?

[It's a genuine question, Zack. He has never understood how you can find the silver lining to just about any situation. It's not something Cloud knows how to do, as much as he wished he could, and it's something he respects about the other man. Something he really appreciates about him

His hand curls slightly into a fist, the blonde being careful of the wound their hands are pressed against and not caring one bit about the blood staining his hand. He was a soldier; this was nothing new. What is new, though, is that unintentional nuzzle and Cloud feels...he's not sure how to respond to that other than to press his head closer to Zack, bumping their cheeks together the slightest bit.]

You're right. This...it's not going to end like this. You're too stubborn and so am I.

[ He almost laughs at that- probably would have if Cloud hadn't pressed so intentionally back, hand now firmly woven with his. That gives him pause. Belatedly, his voice rises again, but it's more subdued if not somehow more honest. ]

Of course.. Part of being backwater experts. We're tough as they come 'cause we have to be.. Didn't you know it's the only way you survive in backwater country? [ Yeah, okay, there's definitely a smile to him now. A glow to his eyes that's from more than the mako. ]

And as far as optimism goes, someone's gotta keep things in fairly good spirits. [ No gloom and doom allowed, okay? ]

[A huff of a laugh escapes Cloud and while it's a bit on the weak side, there's a genuine note to it.]

True. You can expect any regular expert to be able to handle the same things we can. [He needs to pull away, needs to get back to actually cleaning the other's wound and re-wrapping it but he can't bring himself to let go just yet. Zack's hand on his is a solid connection that is hard to imagine, an anchor that Cloud doesn't want to give up. While he appreciates everything the other has said, this means a lot more than he knows how to express.]

You are pretty good at it, I'll give you that. [The blonde glances up, a much more calm air about him.] I'd be a literal rain cloud of pessimism if it weren't for you.

[ Okay, now that definitely gets a hearty laugh out of him. If not followed by a wince afterwards, body buckling from the pain. ] Du-Dunno about literal, but... he-heh.. Okay, maybe I should.. stop laughing.. Whew..

[ Needing to pull away might... have to be a thing. They really ought to dress his wounds before he loses more blood. The feeling of that shirt starting to soak through attests just as much. Though Zack still hasn't let go. If anything, his hold has tightened. Of course, it might have something to do with all the pain he's revisiting. But he's smiling despite that. When he regains enough composure, he forces out: ] Guess that's all the more reason for me- to stick around then.. hu-huh, Spike?

[Worry takes over Cloud's expression again and his free hand finds Zack's shoulder to steady him, immediately glancing down at the wound to make sure the bleeding isn't getting any worse. Yep. Definitely time to--

Zack. Zack you have to let go of his hand.]

I guess so. [His gaze flicks upwards as he gives Zack's hand a reassuring squeeze.] So how about letting go for right now so I can get this cleaned up? It'll help with the whole sticking around thing, I promise.

[ Totally getting blood all over the both of them at this point. That's probably not a good thing, yep. They should probably... yep.

Still playing 'Never Let Go'.

But maybe he should. Especially when Cloud's eyes fill with worry again as he steadies him. Zack nods slowly as he breathes out a controlled breath. It's a breath that's broken up with another hint of a chuckle and a- ] Ye-Yeah, guess that would help, wouldn't it.. [ Then he's... squeezing back first.

But after that, he finally lets go, allowing gravity to do its thing and carry it back to his side. He remains with the weight of his body leaning into the strength of Cloud's steadying hand, but he's going to need two, isn't he? To do what he has to do... He ought to move back.

Just give him another minute. ]

A little bit, yeah.

[Cloud's voice is soft when he replies, not making any move to pull his hand away or move away from Zack in general. He's willing to wait it out and allow the other as much time as he needs and, well, the blonde isn't going to complain. How long had it been since he'd just touched someone like this? Held someone's hand and allowed it to be this comforting?

When they're hands finally do separate Cloud let's out a quiet breath, start to shift back so he can actually get to work. He pauses, though, when he realizes how much of Zack's weight he's actually holding and he's not about to force the other to take it back just yet. Not when the other is as hurt as he is.

So he waits, readjusting the press of his hand against the wound as the hand he has on the other's shoulder shifts so his fingers brush against his neck.]

...Just a little bit longer and then you can lay down again, alright?

TURNING UP THE MUSIC NOW KTHNX

AW YEAH I'M READY FOR THIS

RAVE TIME WITH PUPPY AND CHOCOBO

THE SYSYEM IS DOWN THE SYSTEM IS DOWN UNCE UNCE UNCE UNCE

TAKING OVER - DANCE. REVOLUTION.

DROP THE BOMB https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBLnOlzowYY

ajsdhaklsjdka

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BVtE453nLI

Dear god what nostalgia

hahaha!! kicking it oldschool!

I remember having that on my computer in high school asdakshk

fff!! I had it on PS2 and played it half to death. Occasionally, I still pull it out because why not

I eventually got it for ps2 in college...and we had late night DDR parties

That sounds fantastic and I would have totally been all over that shit. LMAFOUSDHF

I miss crazy shenanigans like that ;; I don't want to adult anymore sobs

Man, do I ever feel you there. Being an adult can be a struggle sometimes. @@ Bring on shenanigans!

True story. But that's what RP is for! \o/ ALL THE SHENANIGANS

THE BEST SHENANIGA-SOFUHSDFUH HAND TOUCHING YOU ARE TERRIBLE I AM WEAK

GIMME YOUR FEELS SO I CAN DESTROY THEM

NO WHY. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.

Because I wanna hold your hand :q

You wanna hold my hand? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46_yYR6tGOI

God I love that song \o/

The Beatles are totally boss!! o9!!

Yes, yes they are. They fit well into any soundtrack :q