A Chance for Redemption?

[seethers]

Look Past the Blood on Your Hands Red's in your ledger or you're making your way towards a crimson page by your very nature. Did you simply do what you had to do in order to survive? No one could understand how you lived. That could be just what you tell yourself, though; really, you might have enjoyed your crimes. You're not proud of some of what you've done, no matter what, and there's a part of you that will probably never heal. If you were someone else looking in, you'd never be able to stand looking at you, much less stomach you. But someone does all of that willingly. They can look past the blood on your hands and the bad decisions weighing on your shoulders. It's you they care about, not your history. Actually, they may even love you, though you can't begin to fathom why. Comment with your character, preferences, and whether your character is the one with guilt or past sins or the one looking past all that. Reply to others. Have fun.

Comments

[tolrider]

Alain looks like shit.

He needs to eat. He needs water. He needs at least eight hours sleep, but six will do. He needs his wounds tended.

But one step at a time.

"Because you need help, and I want to help you," Makoto says patiently. Joy bubbles up through him, along with the worry, the pain, the fear. There's still so much to do, so much to stop, but nothing can stop him from being happy that Alain's here. He kneels, keeping half an eye on Alain to make sure he doesn't totter away.

"Here." It's a fruit bar. Half unwrapped. All Alain needs to do is bite.

[hisimperialeyeness]

"I'm not your responsibility." Alain huffs softly, leaning still harder against the railing. He thinks he should just tip himself over, but something holds him back. A lack of energy, probably, or maybe just knowing that Makoto would jump in after him.

He doesn't want Makoto to be hurt.

Makoto drops to one knee, but Alain doesn't have the energy to move away. He just waits, frowning. He's sorting through the bag he brought with him, then holds something up. Alain looks at it. Food. Of course.

"No." He says, then after a moment, "Thank you. I'm fine."

[tolrider]

Makoto gives him a sharp look at that, but mutes it when he's forcibly reminded of just how exhausted Alain is. "Of course you are," he says quietly. "You looked after me. I'll look after you."

Tchh.

He stands, tucks it into Alain's hand and closes his fingers around them. "It was one of the few things that Kanon could stand when she got her body back. Bland. Sweet. Reasonably nutritious. Please try it. Just a bite?"

[hisimperialeyeness]

"I'm not." He grumbles again, hunching his shoulders and letting his head drop, pressing his forehead to the railing. It's cold, and it gives him a bit of clarity. "I had nothing to do with that. My sister..." He chokes on the word, closes his eyes. Alia... What must she think of him now?

Makoto stands and there's a familiarity in him standing there, beyond bodies and breath and heartbeats there's just the familiar sense of Makoto at his side, tall and fierce and...

His hands are firm as he closes Alain's fingers around the food. He frowns down at it and considers the action for a moment. His stomach makes a sound, a sort of grumbling growl, and he doesn't understand.

"Why?"

[tolrider]

Makoto shakes his head, rests a hand lightly - because Alain looks like he'll break - on the centre of his back.

"We can sort things out with Alia-san another time," he says, hating this. But one thing at a time. He can't fly to Alia-san and check what she knows, convince her of the truth if she's been lied to. Right now, all he can do is try to take care of Alain.

There's a rumble from Alain's stomach.

"Because you need to eat. To accomplish anything. You need your body to be in good condition, and bodies need food."

[hisimperialeyeness]

A shudder runs through him when Makoto's hand comes to rest on his back. It should feel good, and right.

"She's the one who took care of you." He sighs, and then he gives up. Staying upright is too hard. He slumps to one side, releasing his grip on the railing but somehow holding onto the food even as he leans suddenly against Makoto's chest.

"I don't want to." He sighs, eyes closed. Petulant. "I just want to rest now."

[tolrider]

"She did. But you helped," Makoto says softly. Yes, Alia-san did the majority of making sure they were fed, and clothed, and had a place to sleep, and had someone to guide them through how to behave at court. He'll forever be grateful for her kindness.

Alain?

Alain was his friend.

(Still is.)

Alain sags into him, and Makoto shifts a foot to take his weight more easily. He wraps both arms around him, exulting in the simplicity of Alain in his arms again. When he'd thought that this might never happen again. After everything that's gone on between them...

"Water, then," Makoto says, gently immovable. "Then I'll take you somewhere you can sleep."

On 15 March 2016 at 22:22, hisimperialeyeness - DW Comment < dw_null@dreamwidth.org> wrote:

[hisimperialeyeness]

"I didn't." He growls, firm in his resolve that he doesn't deserve... Whatever it is Makoto's offering. Pity or help or remorse or forgiveness. Any of it.

He did his part.

"Go home, Makoto." He tries to push the taller man away but fails spectacularly and ends up just pressed closer to him.

"I don't want to sleep. I want to rest."

[tolrider]

Help, definitely. Maybe a little remorse. Not the others; Alain doesn't need it. Nothing to forgive, and with Makoto's help, he'll get through all this. Nothing to pity.

Simple.

(Ha.)

Makoto gathers him closer, then stiffens at Alain's correction. There's harshness in his voice, and a... a lack of hope, Makoto thinks. He's deeply worried by how anyone can be here, at the intersection of the sky and the water, and not have any hope.

"You're not going to die," he says quietly.

On 16 March 2016 at 12:52, hisimperialeyeness - DW Comment < dw_null@dreamwidth.org> wrote:

[hisimperialeyeness]

"You're smarter than that." Alain gasps, taking another slowly shuddering breath. He aches, and he'd forgotten what it was all like. Pain and hunger, heart beat and rushing blood. "You were there. You must have heard. The broadcast... Heard everywhere... I'm a traitor now."

[tolrider]

"No, I'm not," Makoto says sourly, though the affection and concern are still clear. He shakes his head, takes a little more of Alain's weight. Either they'll have to sit here or he'll have to convince Alain to let him take him away.

...or wait until he passes out, and then carry him.

"We'll deal with your brother. We'll explain the truth to Alia-san, if she doesn't know already. You're not going to die. As long as you eat and sleep!"

On 16 March 2016 at 13:07, hisimperialeyeness - DW Comment < dw_null@dreamwidth.org> wrote:

[hisimperialeyeness]

It's not even worth arguing with Makoto when he's being this obstinate. It's familiar and it makes Alain smirk slightly, and then hits him with a pang of guilt and he closes his eyes.

"If my father is truly dead... Then there will be no stopping Adel."

[tolrider]

There's a small grin from Alain, and Makoto nearly makes the mistake of relaxing. No, not yet. They have to get him to safety first.

....oh.

"I'm so sorry about your father. But we'll do something about Adel. You, and me, and probably Takeru, and probably Alia-san. We'll stop him, Alain."

[hisimperialeyeness]

Alain can feel the way Makoto almost lets him go, and he almost hopes for it. If Makoto would just let go of him now, he could probably muster enough strength to throw himself at and over the railing. It wouldn't be pleasant, but it would be better than... this.

"He's the Emperor now. He can't be stopped."

[tolrider]

...Makoto grips him more tightly. Alain's always been prone to being overwrought when he's depressed, and to do him justice, he has every fucking reason for being depressed right now. Have to keep a grip on him.

The sun's setting over the water, and there's a cool breeze in the air. All this empty space, no one else around. Feels intimate.

"Right now I'm not sure that's what we need to think about," Makoto says, as diplomatically as he can. "Let me get you to a safe place. You can eat. Sleep. Then in the morning, we'll re-assess."

[hisimperialeyeness]

For all that Alain was sure he almost had his out, suddenly Makoto is holding onto him all the tighter.

Like a flash, Alain recalls finding them in his home, in that room, and Makoto holding him fiercely then, too. He shudders at the memory and feebly tries to pull away.

The glint of the sun off the ocean distracts him for a moment, and he sighs.

"I'm not going there."

[tolrider]

Alain's very weak. Makoto's almost hoping for him to pass out. He's slight enough to carry if necessary, and it'd certainly reduce the arguing.

He presses his lips gently to Alain's hair. "I have another place. Kanon knows about it, but I'm not sure the others do. Not far from the temple. You can hole up there; the bed's comfortable, I'll take the couch, and I'll be close enough for you when you need me."

[hisimperialeyeness]

The familiarity of Makoto's lips in his hair is almost enough to make Alain stop arguing and just let him win this conflict, let it go until the next day.

Almost.

"They'll worry about you."

[tolrider]

"I'll send Takeru and Kanon messages," Makoto returns promptly.

They will probably still worry, yes. But they're all old enough to do their own thing when necessary, and no one who'd seen Alain recently would think him capable of killing Makoto with a thumb.

On 16 March 2016 at 21:18, hisimperialeyeness - DW Comment < dw_null@dreamwidth.org> wrote:

[hisimperialeyeness]

He seems to have this all thought out. Alain hates it. He just wanted to be left alone- that was why he walked away.

"Why are you doing this?"

[tolrider]

Makoto sighs, rearranges the bag in one hand and Alain in the other, and then starts them moving. If Alain resists, he'll pick him up. It's too cold out here for someone so newly returned to this kind of life.

"Because you need it."

Because you're part of me. Because I'm part of you. Because you cared for me, and it's my turn. Because no matter what angers and irritations and hurt there is between us, it'll never be enough to wipe out everything else.

On 17 March 2016 at 12:35, hisimperialeyeness - DW Comment < dw_null@dreamwidth.org> wrote:

[hisimperialeyeness]

Makoto starts moving with such a purposeful stride that Alain's choices boil down to going with him purposefully or being dragged, and out of the two options, one is definitely less dignified, so he straightens up as much as he can, tries to minimize the amount of his weight he needs to lean on Makoto to stay upright, and just walks with him.

But not before he turns his head back to watch the faintest edge of the sun slip beneath the horizon.

"I can take care of myself." He adds in response to Makoto's answer. He may be going with him, but he'll argue the entire way to make sure his position is clear.

[tolrider]

Better. Makoto takes as much weight as Alain will let him, and then eyerolls near audibly. Oh, this is so much like Kanon was when she was small, and sick.

"I know," he says gently.

[hisimperialeyeness]

Alain can feel Makoto's disgust with his reticence, but he also doesn't care. If Makoto's going to waste time and effort on him, he's going to pay for it. He's such a fool.

(Alain missed him so much.)

"Then why?"

[tolrider]

There's a hill. Of course there is. Makoto groans inside, just a little, then starts them up it.

"Because you're full of crap if you think you can really take care of yourself right now," he says. His voice is full of patience. "I've been learning more about this, Alain. I can't do it all by myself, either."