THE YAHOO! ANSWERS MEME

[impretty]

THE YAHOO! ANSWERS MEME

RULES
1. Post with your character, asking a question. Do not leave your post blank.
Got it? You can use an already asked question or make one up yourself.
It's your choice if your character is asking with their name attached or not.
2. Answer other people's questions as your characters.
3. Unlike the real Yahoo! Answers, you are encouraged to respond to the answers people give you!
4. Be fabulous! Do whatever you want, within reason.

Comments

Bad books?

[therealgenius]

Books about being bad, not books that suck. Like, books about villains and villainy. What constitutes a major, minor, super, or "regular" villain? Need book recs on the subject, please. Text books fine, too, just doing some research.

Re: Bad books?

[sweet_riiiiims]

You should try 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance'.

Then we might get started on your "villainy".

[No help at all, not even close Knockout.]

Priapism

[edgar_roni]

What are the warning signs for priapism?? It's been four hours...

[latetowork]

It depends. What pills did you take?

Do you ever feel like you're asleep when you're awake?

[latetowork]

I know you’re out there. I can feel you now. I know that you’re afraid. You’re afraid of us. You’re afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn’t come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I’m going to hang up this phone, and then I’m going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I’m going to show them a world … without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

[damageaddiction]

This isn't a phone retard.

Fire ants?

[themanoutoftime]

What happens if I get bitten by a fire ant? By lots of fire ants? Urgent, please respond.

Re: Fire ants?

[damageaddiction]

You're probably gonna die. Say your goodbyes now.

Chemistry~

[lobster_tranny]

Are there any scientists out there with the formula for a Chemical X antidote? Would be greatly appreciated~

Meeting rich men?

[gald_digger]

What's a good way to meet rich, single men?

[nonononono]

http://i.imgur.com/OYWSb.jpg

Wrong site!

Laundry tips?

[bindsthedead]

How do you get stains from rotting corpses out of your clothes? I'm getting tired of having to replace my surcoat each time I fight them.

Re: Laundry tips?

[irohdisboat]

I know cold water help get out blood. I've never really had to get corpse juice out.

INCEPTION -- JUST. WHY.

[wwii]

Was it a dream or not?

[damageaddiction]

I think you want IMDB bro.

just an experiment

[onemoredeath]

Which is harder: a carrot or a finger bone?

[deliracy]

What the fuck's a carrot? :o?

JoKe HoUr, MoThErFuCkErS!!!

[deliracy]

AiGhT, ThIs AiNt No InTeRrOgAtIOn PoLe . . .
BuT YoU lAy ThOsE HaHaS rIgHt ThE FuCk DoWn HeRe.
BoNuS If We Be RHyMiN'.
sHoW YoUR shIt.
HoNk HonK :o)

[regretzio]

[strum]

♪ While I cannot be completely sure I got the entire sense of that
For some reason I have an urge to ask, yo, where be my ninjas at? ♪

Curing ailurophobia?

[worldarcana]

A fox wants me to help some guy get over his phobia of cats. Any advice? I was thinking of bringing him a kitten and let him pet it but he'd probably run away screaming.

[gunslingerqueen]

that might be a bit much. Maybe show him pictures of kitten over time or videos? work him up to petting the real deal.

wait how does a fox want anything. are you trolling man.

burned fingers

[zorrofox]

so my favorite noodle stand closed down for good a few weeks ago and since then i've tried to learn to make my own kitsune udon but while i was cooking today i burned the hell out of my fingers the doctor says i'll recover on my own but this still hurts like a bitch what should i do

[selematpagi]

Don't burn yourself.

is theer like any wya i can get this rly cutiepie guy to get me PREGGIES?

[dipsomaniac]

sure i kno im a guy and all but that shousldnt have two get in the way of ~*~*~TRUE LURV~*~*~
plus im sexteen i think im ready 4 the big guns
*sixteen whooops lmao
can i poek like holes in his condom w/o him knowing i did that???

[eloquaint]

By all means.
Poking holes in the condom does open up the possibility of living organisms growing inside you.
There is some debate as to how much a living being one can count a virus, but don't let science's indecisive nature discourage you from your venereal indiscretions.

CREEPING ALL OVER YOUR OWN SISTER

[deathwarder]

What is the best way to seduce a ravishing dragonness... err, an entirely human female who may or may not be related to you?

Hypothetically speaking, of course. I would, of course, never do this. Or lock this human female in my underground fortress of villainy for "research purposes".

[resolvere]

The best would be not to do so.

Can't get out of apt!!!

[lostmydeposit]

I've been trying to get outside for the past five days and nothing's worked. Help?

[fistshaped]

what's stopping you?

[gunslingerqueen]

okay i swear to god i don't know how I did it but the stove just blew up and the rest of the kitchen is fine but I need to make this look normal in the next two hours.

help.

please.

I can pay in hugs?

[unprinny]

That's easy! Just draw a life-size lifelike picture of the not-broken stove and prop it up in front of the broken one! No one'll be the wiser.

how to tell if a girl likes you or not

[barkstabbark]

so theres this hot bitch thats been chasing me for three years now
but im not sure if she wants me or just wants to kill me
i cant ask her cause i dont wanna get decapitated
so how do i tell without asking

[missmaillady]

You unbelievable bastard.

I can see you texting from here.

Keep running.

How would you kill Napoleon?

[ghostintheanimus]

Hypothetically, if you were at, say, Borodino. How would you get the guards away when none of your distractions are working and YOU'RE CLOSE YOU'RE SO CLOSE

[overlimit]

Fireballs.

Don't know who you're talking about, but fireballs work for just about anything. If he has guards? Fireball them too. Simple.

Romantic date ideas?

[dragonassistant]

I wanna ask somepony I like out on a date and I really wanna impress her! What do I do?!

I was thinking we could go for a walk together under the moonlight and I'd read her some poetry I wrote for her or something. Oh, and I'd give her flowers! Or maybe some of these sapphires I've been collecting, she's really into those. And they match her eyes too!

[HELP HIM WIN RARITY'S HEART, YOU GUYS, HE CAN'T BE ~SUPER ROMANTIC~ ON HIS OWN]

[edgar_roni]

Your plan sounds perfectly fine on its own. Might I suggest one thing, though? When you pick her up...?






Show up naked.

Phoenix Wright|Ace Attorney

[whutobjection]

How does one stop people from focusing so much on your sexuality? I'm a attorney, no one is supposed to care whether I'm straight, gay, bi or whatever.

[edgar_roni]

Sleep with everyone.

kinomoto sakura. | cardcaptor sakura

[bealright]

how do i tell a syaora-- a boy i like him? what sort of presents do boys like? how can i tell if i'm troubling him?

oh, and!

is it okay not to tell your dad that you have magic?

Geeks...

[retrieverchef]

Why are all geeks so universally annoying and sure they control everything? They can't hack people. I don't care how much they think they can. Which means they don't actually control the world, no matter what they say.

[blondeandperky]

Well, if you can hack someone's personal computer, their bank account, and set up cameras around them, then you've got all the interesting parts of them, really.

hth.

¿Un caballo de color diferente?

[signofthez]

Which is more befitting an outlaw who rides in the name of the people, a black horse or a white horse?

[wordsarewasted]

Black. White stands out too much. Might clash with outlawed clothing as well.

boyfriend and i look alike?? :o

[barks]

itss so strange but we are each others first and we look very much alike
same eye shape similar mouth chin
even the nose a bit!!
our hair color is almost completely identical (black) too!
i felt something strange in my stomach (an instant connection) a millisecond before we saw each other
he did too and we were basically looking at each other the whole time! :B
i didnt even know we look similar until our mutual friends told us and then i really noticed
we even watch the same animes
lol
:o
we are not related
impossible 0.001% chance
i moved to a completely different country and met him randomly

does this happen often???
its so weird
its never happened to me before!!

(( shamelessly stolen from this question ))

[naks]

yeah ok
sounds like you need a new boyfriend