bakerstreet | the picture prompt

[There's nothing here.

He worries for a minute that Matthew may have lost his mind. That the time is up on the dream little brother.

Or he got them lost.

Either way, Declan steps next to him, doesn't fight him off.]

Okay, you have fifteen minutes.

[As if he would really stick to that.]

Fifteen minutes. [ Matthew only agrees because he's sure Declan will change his mind later, and then he sets off again towards the edge of the forest, one hand still clasped around his brother's wrist. The trees close over them and this is it; if there is a rule then Matthew's really breaking it now. Why hadn't he just asked first?

It's never felt so dark in here before, and he definitely doesn't remember any mist creeping over the ground the last times. Normally this place feels magical in a good way. A raven calls out through the trees and he starts, his heart skipping a beat. Ronan...? But a quick glance around reveals no sign of their third brother and his near-constant avian companion. Matthew isn't sure if he's disappointed or relieved.

He clings to Declan's wrist a little tighter and keeps going, telling himself that everything will be much better when they find their mother. ]

[What's happening?

The thing about being the only person in this family who is a person is that while he's been wholly aware of magic (one day he had a baby brother, suddenly, curled up against Ronan in bed with him, and his father had laughed and taken Ronan and spun him round, and Declan remembers it entirely, he remembers even stranger things that Ronan has forgotten and he's kept it safe and secret) he's never really experienced it. Declan's world is wholly stable, wholly real.

This is making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, making him feel out of place and unwelcome, and he doesn't like it.]

Matthew-

[There's a gust of cold wind when he speaks. The trees are shaking and Declan can't hear what they're saying.]

[ It makes Matthew stop again, that sound. He lifts his chin and a listening look comes over his face. It's almost like-- ]

Oh, right. [ The expression disappears all at once and he laughs--though a little nervously--when he suddenly remembers what Ronan had told him not to forget. ] Don't think about bad stuff in here.

[ Cabeswater isn't a place for bad thoughts. It's sacred, like church, and just like God it was always listening. Matthew doesn't share that part aloud, thankfully, as it would probably only make Declan more convinced that he'd lost his mind.

He sets his mind on their mother, on the day she woke up and called him her love again. On Declan's face when he sees her again, fresh and happy and full of affection. It's enough to make the air feel less cold, at least to him, though the trees are still whispering to each other as Matthew, an obliviously magical creature himself, a dream born from this very place, starts forward again, this time leading his thoroughly normal brother with more confidence. ]

Matthew-

[He reaches for his brother's hand, the one on his wrist.]

Stop, stop-

[The wind picks up, the wind dies down, the wind picks up, and he's gripping Matthew's shoulders. Is he dreaming? Is this a dream? Declan doesn't sleep, he barely dreams, and he can't tell, he can't tell if that raven cackling above them is-

-he doesn't know.

Jesus Christ, he's starting to feel the pinpricks of fear against his heart.]

Where are we? Answer me!

[And for a moment, he looks like Niall in a temper.]

[ Matthew flinches slightly under Declan's hands, hearing his tone, seeing his expression, and it's enough to immediately leech away his short-lived certainty. ]

Declan, I'm sorry, don't be mad.

[ His brow is troubled, round eyes full of apology as he looks up to his brother. He should've asked somebody, should've brought Declan when everyone else was here too--now Declan's upset, Declan really doesn't want to be here, and it's his fault.

The explanations come spilling out of his mouth now, everything he can remember that seems important. ]

They said it's called Cabeswater. Normally it's not like this; when Ronan-- [ He immediately regrets mentioning Ronan when Declan is already like this but there's no taking it back. ] --and the others are here everything's different, like they make it happier. It's on one of those ley lines Gansey's been looking for and I had to bring you here 'cause being here is-- it's--

It's making mom better.

[ He stumbles over the last words like a child learning to walk, praying that Declan will believe him and understand why Matthew did this. ]

[He lets go of Matthew, and there's a strange series of emotions that pass over his face. Of course he knew that his mother wasn't at home anymore, because the home nurses still report to him. Of course he had tried to talk to Ronan about it because he knows, too, that Ronan found (found - dreamed??) the new will, and that's where what he knows ended. He thought that Ronan had moved her to some nursing home because in his weird Ronan way he wanted her to get the best care, and that he was just being a dick by not telling Declan but-

-but somehow this feels worse.]

Are you telling me that mom is here?

[Asleep here? No. Better. That's what Matthew said. Better. Awake.]

And you knew?

[ Matthew nods earnestly, without words, then hesitates for a moment before he continues nodding, more reluctantly this time. He can't lie and after blurting out so much at once now he doesn't know what to say at all. He wishes the truth were different from what it is.

Cabeswater is growing colder again, unseasonable frost creeping rapidly over the grass around his Sunday best shoes, and he folds his arms around himself, suppressing a shiver.

Whatever Declan says now, he guesses he deserves it. ]

[Declan looks away, suddenly, lets go of Matthew.

He's going to kill Ronan.]

Mom?

Mom?

[He yells it the second time, and then starts walking, yelling her name.

But Cabeswater isn't giving her up. Declan feels a kind of despair rise in him. He tries for a long time, but there's no reply, the only sound the noise Matthew makes following him. Finally he just stills and stands there.

For once he doesn't look like anyone else.

For once he looks like Declan, he looks like he's shattering, too.]

Edited (COMMAS) 2016-02-08 20:59 (UTC)

[ He follows Declan anxiously, waiting, waiting, waiting for Aurora to appear at any moment and smile at them both and make everything okay again.

It doesn't happen.

When Declan finally stops and Matthew comes up beside him, when he sees sees his brother's face--it's terrible. It's heart-stoppingly terrible, like the days following their father's death were terrible, when everything fell apart.

Matthew doesn't ask, he just puts his arms around him and clings, pressing his face into Declan's sleeve, like holding him will keep everything from falling apart again. ]

I'm sorry, Declan, I'm sorry... I'm sorry...

[ It's not fair, this doesn't make any sense, where is she? Does the forest only work when Ronan's here, too? Matthew can't suggest coming back with him, not when Declan is going to kill him; that's just another horrible fight waiting to happen, hateful words and fists slung at one another as if they no longer share the same blood and never shared the same home. And this time it feels like Matthew's fault. ]

[Declan takes a ragged breath, and then another, and he pulls himself together.

And he puts his arm around Matthew, and takes another ragged breath.

Lie, lie, lie- that's what he hears, inside his head, or maybe it's the laughing of the raven above them, but it doesn't matter because it's advice that Declan takes to heart.]

It's okay.

[It's not okay. He's going to murder Ronan. He's going to destroy him and break his face open. He's going to go back to D.C. and refuse to come to church. Invent new reasons. Tell Gansey that it's not his business anymore.

He feels ripped open and he lies.]

It's not your fault.

[Lie. Lie. Lie.]

Mom-

Has she asked. About me?

[ It doesn't feel okay, even with Declan's arm around his shoulders. It not "okay" just like the gun in the Volvo was never for "burglars" and the pills in their dorm were never for "ulcers".

"Like he thinks the truth'll fucking kill him."

That's what Ronan thinks. Matthew doesn't always know what to think, but he knows it isn't okay.

He lifts his eyes, bright with unshed tears, and as blue as if he'd been born into this family instead of dreamt, and he gives another tremulous nod. ]

Yeah, she-- she said I should bring you next time.

[ And that is not a lie. Of course she had asked about Declan. Matthew is her favorite, there's no denying it, but unlike their father who needed all of his things to be a particular kind of special, Aurora loves her sons without condition. ]

[He says it and Declan knows it's true, in some way or another. He presses his face against the top of Matthew's head.]

Hey.

Come with me to D.C. for a week. I'll call Aglionby.

[It's a petty, dirty sort of revenge. Pulling Matthew away from Henrietta. Taking him away from Ronan.

It's the first step in a dirty war.]

[ Matthew doesn't say anything at first, quietly thinking it through as he continues to hold on to Declan's jacket. Thinking, thinking, and then, in a small voice-- ]

Just a week, right?

[ He has no idea.

He just doesn't want to think about Declan going back alone, not after today. Ronan has his friends and their mom and whatever he's been doing at the Barns lately. It's not like he'll need Matthew for anything.

But maybe Declan does, in some way. ]

Just a week.

[That's all. Just a week. Declan won't even try and extend it.]

You can't be out of school longer than that anyway.

[It's enough to remind Ronan that Declan isn't a disposable member of this family. Cabeswater is already whispering this to the Greywaren: but those are things Declan doesn't understand, or realize.]

Right... Okay.

[ Matthew draws away finally, his curls slightly flattened where Declan had been resting on them. He's no longer close to tears, but inside he still feels heavy and mixed up and awful. The atmosphere of the forest doesn't help at all. ]

I'll just let Ronan know. [ As he says it--carefully, like walking on eggshells--he's already reaching for his cell phone, only to remember when he sees the screen how pointless the effort is. ]

Oh, I forgot... [ Time and weather are not very reliable in magical ley line forests, and neither is the signal for his phone. Guess that's not an option right now. ]

Come on.

[He nods his head a bit.]

We'll go back.

[As if it's that simple. As if he doesn't know that somewhere in here Aurora is awake, and aware, and he misses her.]

[ Matthew bites his lip, thinking the same thing. ]

We'll come back next week?

[ They'll try again, right? Next time Cabeswater will be dappled in warm sunlight like it should be, with songbirds in the trees and their mother laughing in the grass as she reminds them of stories from when they were children, her fingers running through their hair.

Maybe she can still fix everything. ]

Edited (/casually fixes a missing word fifteen hours later) 2016-02-09 18:34 (UTC)

Sure.

[He says it casually but the truth is that he's torn between coming back tomorrow, in an hour, in twenty minutes, and never coming back at all.

Maybe it would be easier if he thought his mother was dead, too.]

Come on.

[ This time Matthew obeys, wordlessly pressing close to Declan's side as they turn back the way they came. Even so the whole time he prays, really prays in his heart for Aurora to appear at the last minute, and he doesn't give up until they're back at the Volvo and he's got no choice but to climb into the car again, heavy with disappointment.

It's been an improbable thirteen minutes since they left, according to the clock. This is his first visit to Cabeswater that actually felt longer to him than it did to the outside world.

He quickly leans the seat back and turns his head toward the window, too guilty to look at Declan right now. He'll have to get over that quick or the next week will be very unpleasant, but for the moment everything is still too close and he doesn't know what to say to make anything right. ]

[He doesn't say anything.

Nothing at all.

He takes a moment, takes a breath, and drives away.

It's not as hard as he would have thought.

He's good at lying to himself, after all.]

[ Matthew is utterly deflated as they drive off.

After a few miles he remembers to check his phone again and there's still no service, so he sets it on his leg with the intention of sending Ronan a text as promptly as possible. Instead, he ends up watching Virginia fly past the window.

A few more miles and he starts to feel like something again. ]

Can I play some music?

[He isn't even thinking about Matthew for a long while. He's just thinking about how his mother is somewhere awake and Ronan-

And he's thinking about his father and how his father locked him away from this magic, too, how his father loved him, yes, but his father loved him for his resemblance and not his specialness-

And he's trying not to think of how angry he is at being so pathetic right now.

He manages not to crash the car. Bravo.

He looks at Matthew, distracted.]

There are some CDs in the glove compartment.

[He says it as though he doesn't remember that Matthew knows that.]

None of Dad's stuff.

Okay.

[ Matthew can't tell if Declan is telling him not to play any of their dad's music or letting him know there isn't any to be played. Either way he already knows that one of his own CDs is stashed in the glove compartment as well, in the wrong case somewhere but still there.

He leans forward and rummages around until he finds what he wants, ready to leave silence behind.

His tastes may be questionable but the song he chooses is one he's listened to often enough that it's his music in the same way that Niall's music was Niall's. It's Matthew as much as his excessive cologne or his dimples or his inability to distinguish good food from terrible.

The lyrics are coincidental; he's just wants to fill the space between them with something. ]

[It does suddenly feel overwhelmingly like Matthew in the car, and oddly enough, that makes it better. The tension in his neck eases; it's suddenly easier to be Declan again.]

This is where he took her, right? When she disappeared.

[As if Declan wouldn't notice.

The question breaks the silence but he doesn't sound angry.]

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/silent distressed screaming

I AM TERRIBLE

Sorry Matthew, mommy and daddy are going to fight again and IT'S YOUR FAULT

sadly true

I am seriously screaming

Welcome to hell, population you and me

/lies here and suffers

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I literally dreamed that we found a Ronan to play the aftermath of this with us; it was hideous

gross sobbing that would be perfect

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Forgive me for the delay

Never apologize for anything, friend

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