bakerstreet | is it hot in here or is the floor LAVA

Just share the damn bed with me.

For whatever reason, the floor is an unacceptable place to sleep. It's messy, the dog is there, THE FLOOR IS LAVA, there's flooding, feels weird, or it's too dirty to walk on. Who cares why it's not acceptable, it just isn't! Normally, that's not an issue, but tonight you have a friend over. Maybe it's the safest place, maybe it's hurricane season and your house is the only one out of the path of the storm. Are they mooching off you? Stop trying to figure out the details! Just get over it and share the bed with that person! Sexy times are not required. Intimacy is not required. Just share the damn bed already.

Do you need options? DO YOU? Here! Have some options!

1. It's late. You're tired. Too tired to drive and THE FLOOR IS LAVA.
2. It's late. You're drunk. Too drunk. Honestly, how did you drink that much and not die? Should we take you to the hospital? Here, just stay in this bed with me. No, you can't sleep on the floor. THE FLOOR IS LAVA.
3. It's early. You thought you'd just come by and visit but you can barely function. The bed seems inviting. Guess what, you're invited into the bed! Yes. The bed. Not the floor. THE FLOOR IS LAVA.
4. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE? CUDDLING IS OKAY. And yes, the floor is lava.
5. WILDCARD. Just figure out a reason why you need to share the bed. But don't forget: the floor is lava!
6. The Crack Fun Insane Option - Actually play the Floor is Lava Game!! Move about the room without touching the floor... because the floor is seriously lava.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah. Patch job shows a bit, but you're not gonna have to worry about the sleeve tearin' off or anything like that. Left it on the bed, so c'mon downstairs when you're dressed.

[Because he's heading back down now. Last thing he needs is to see Valmont in a too-small borrowed bathrobe.]

Good man.

[ There's a bit more genuine feeling in that sentence than one might normally expect from Valmont. Hell, coming from him, it's almost a thank you.

The suit turns out to be exactly where Finn had said it would, oddly enough. Valmont can't keep from wincing as he looks it over - even with the repair work (which is actually pretty decent in most places), it's obvious how much the worse for wear the poor garment is. It's looking like he'll have to get a new one after all, and he used to have closets full of the things. It's not fair.

But he dwells on this injustice only briefly. He's got pancakes to eat. So it's not long at all before he shows up downstairs, looking a good deal more like his old self. A little scruffier, maybe, but still. It's a start. ]

You mentioned pancakes.

[ Said as though he's not starving. ]

[He'll be able to smell the pancakes by the time he gets to the bottom of the steps. There's a large stack of them in the middle of the table, along with a bottle of syrup and a stick of butter. The table is already set for two, with Finn halfway through a pancake of his own. Two fried eggs are sitting on the other plate.]

Help yourself, V-Man. Just don't ask for more eggs, gonna have to pick some up while we're out.

[ Once again, you don't have to tell Valmont twice. Almost before the words are out of Finn's mouth, he's pulled up a chair and is tucking into the pancakes and eggs like they're his first hot breakfast in recent memory, which they are. He makes a vaguely assenting noise at Finn's last comment, but any actual words might have to wait until he's done eating. Which... probably won't be long, at this rate. Slow down a little, V. ]

You wanna slow down and taste your food before you choke there?

[He guesses he can take it as a complement to his cooking? But come on, the only people he's seen wolf down food like that are Ratso and Tohru.]

[ If it helps, it's less of a compliment to the chef and more of one to the fact that it's hot, edible, and not picked out of someone's trash. You used premade batter, Finn, come on.

For his part, Valmont looks fairly put out at the comment, but he does at least have the decency to swallow before he responds. ]

I beg your pardon? I don't think I need advice on how to eat breakfast, thank you.

[ The next bite goes down the wrong way, and it takes a good several seconds of coughing for him to recover. ]

[Hey, he still could've burned it! Which he didn't.]

Told you.

[He sighs, but still gets up to get Valmont a glass of water. There is orange juice on the table, but he doubts an acidic drink is best right now.]

[ This is true. It's not burnt. Small favors.

Valmont doesn't say thank you for the water, because of course he doesn't, but he sure doesn't turn it down either. And when he does resume eating, it might be noted that his pace is a fair bit slower. Probably just coincidence.

The rest of breakfast passes, mercifully, without incident. And while Valmont ends up taking what's probably more than his fair share of the food by the time they're done, he does at least remember not to ask for/demand seconds on the eggs. That's a start, right? ]

[Well, he would've been slightly exasperated if he'd had to remind Valmont he was out of eggs. And he doesn't really mind that Valmont ate most of the food, he probably needs it at this point.

With breakfast finished, Finn gets up and rinses his dishes. Washing them can come later, at a point when he has fewer other things to deal with.]

Alright, either upstairs or stay here while I fetch the first aid kit for that hand of yours.

[ Right. The hand thing. He's still a little apprehensive about having it poked at, but given that the alternative is to keep letting it get worse, he supposes he'll have to trust that Finn knows what he's doing. ]

Upstairs, then, if I must. I'm going to need to shave at some point anyway.

[ Just gonna... not bring his dishes to the sink when he gets up, again. Houseguest of the year, this one. ]

[Yeah, don't think he won't prod you about those later. But for now, the hand is higher priority. Ugh, he hates busy mornings. He might be grumbling something to that effect aloud, too, as he heads upstairs to get the first aid kit from the bathroom.]

Pick somewhere to sit. And you don't have any other injuries anywhere, do you?

[Please don't, he doesn't want to spend all day playing medic...]

Edited 2016-05-04 00:04 (UTC)

[ Valmont, of course, tunes out these grumblings almost entirely. Can he help it if Finn's mornings are busy? Honestly.

Unsure of where to settle himself once upstairs, he ends up following Finn into the bathroom, perching on the edge of the tub while he waits. He's not used to leaving his hand unbandaged this long, and he's begun idly tracing the edges of the wound with one finger before the question makes him look up. ]

Ah... well. I have got a few on my back, since you mention it.

[ He gets the feeling that's not the answer Finn was looking for, but his self-bandaging skills only extend so far, after all. ]

[Don't mind him facepalming and sighing. Of course. OF COURSE.]

Alright, hand first. Lemme see it.

[He's coming over from the sink with a damp cotton ball in his hand. Given he didn't run the water, there's only a couple things that liquid is likely to be.]

[ Hey, what did you expect? Everything he could reach easily he's already taken care of. Well. More or less, anyway.

And - oh. It's not like he didn't know this was coming, it's just - he hasn't had a chance to fully prepare for it, that's all, and so Valmont can't stop himself from flinching back as the cotton ball approaches. He makes what's really a very valiant effort to keep his hand and voice steady when he speaks: ]

Er. Is this going to hurt?

[ It is, isn't it. ]

[He is just giving you the most unimpressed look right now. Excuse him for not thinking the sting of disinfectant is that bad compared to the many and varied injuries he's experienced in the past three years.]

It's gonna sting, yeah.

[Just hold still while he dabs at the wound, alright?]

[ Yeah, uh. If Finn wanted sensitivity about how terrible his life is, he may have picked the wrong guy.

That said, to Valmont's credit, he does do a pretty good job of holding still as Finn tends to his hand, twitching only occasionally. He's trying. He really is. This effort does not, however, extend to keeping his mouth shut, and he hisses sharply as the disinfectant stings a particularly sensitive spot. ]

Ow! Can't you be a little more gentle?

This is gentle, if it hurts it's 'cause you've let it get bad.

[Now hold still while he puts an antibiotic on it, okay? This will be cold]

is it hot in here or is the floor LAVA

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject