bakerstreet | (no subject)

(no subject)

the TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT meme

1. Post with your character and their name/canon/pref in the subject. 2. Either post with a TFLN or just wait for someone. 3. Respond to people's texts or tag them with your own. 4. hard mode: create your own shameful TFLN.

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I'm afraid I cannot disclose details. Confidentiality is an important part of the arrangement we have.

I'm revoking your status as the favorite child.

I'm truly not sure how my black little heart will be able to survive the tragedy but I will somehow summon the will to endure.

You don't have to force yourself through this suffering if you just give me some deets.

Your heart, once filled with the warmth known only to the world as love, can thrive once more if you spill Dave's innermost thoughts to me.

You are a shrewd and relentless businessman. How can I possibly resist such an opportunity to elaborate on your brother's nigh-fetishistic obsession with your smuppets?

Eventually I'll reveal the secrets of my exceeding financial success, and you can peddle even your bawdry wizard fiction for mad bucks.

In the meantime, consider my interest thoroughly piqued. Dave and my puppets are a welcome combination any day of the week.

Do I want to know how you know about that, or do I just chalk it up to you're Bro Strider, what don't you know?

Well, let me just say that for all he protests their existence, he rather enjoys being buried amongst them.

Mysterious winky face.

Oh, does he now? Color me surprised, if not healthily skeptic. I don't doubt for a minute that anyone would enjoy the comforting fabric and delicately stitched curves of a felt proboscis with the right quality time, but he always seemed... I don't know. Scared shitless?

I assure you it is not the puppets themselves he is afraid of. Merely the implications of his enjoyment of them, particularly as it relates to his sexuality.

I can't even call you out on being too Freudian, since the puppets are completely intended to be phallic. You're telling me Dave likes the dick?

I'm telling you the thought may have crossed his mind on more than one occasion.

The apple does not fall far from the tree. That's real cute of him.

Tell him to embrace these feelings. They're only fears so long as he's afraid of them, or some equally faux-philosophical bullshit.

I'm telling him nothing. You want to play guiding hand, you go ahead. My role is to listen and note, not to advise.

Oh, come on. I can't play guiding hand, considering I'm not supposed to know about this.

Though, I guess in retrospect, it all is pretty obvious. Even for those of us who don't practice armchair psychology.

Then you need not bring up the fact that I told you at all. Merely your concern as older sibling and guardian, in a heartwarming brother to brother discussion that would be perfectly at home in any suitably sappy coming of age tale.

Jesus. Yeah, I'll sit him down with a mug of hot cocoa and a pipe or something and give him ol' bees and the bees talk.

I'm not good at heartwarming. Do you think he'd be down for an educational and supportive puppet show?

Sure. As long as you don't mind that he might be more distracted by the puppets than by what you're saying.

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