bakerstreet | (no subject)

kittens. that's all I'm saying.

*smartphone images of a litter of black, grey and silver straight-tailed mewlets*

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TMW HE'S PERFECTLY COHERENT WHILE STONED

snowborn - 2012-07-01 07:09 (UTC) - Expand

TMW CLINT IS NOT SURPRISED

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LMAO WELP

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fbitchesgtmoney - 2012-07-01 07:51 (UTC) - Expand

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Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies

You sent me 45 texts saying "Meow?"

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I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot

You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.

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its mathematically balanced. less pants + more shirt = fully clothed!!

Did you REALLY mean to send this to ME, Wade?

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i don't know what is going on anymore jesus take the wheel

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shh shh we'll get through this together

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just the two of us...we can make it if we try?

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What even is this?

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something wonderful

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And then I decided that the next party favor was going to be cockroaches.

Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.

I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.

Edited 2012-07-01 02:36 (UTC)

I'm not sure that would be entirely appropriate.

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Having a vagina does not stop me from believing my balls are bigger than yours.

Bigger balls means it hurts more when people step on 'em.

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i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.

explain this to me

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What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.

these two questions are vastly unrelated.

How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?

How did someone manage to con me out of my clothes? I can't even get drunk.

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Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.

Oh good. For a second I thought I might be dying.

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I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.

Edited 2012-07-01 02:43 (UTC)

I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window. Just realized these events may be related.

I'm drunk in a field. The chupacobra is going to eat me. If I die serve vodka at my funeral.

(423): If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom

Isn't this a little bit redundant for you?

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He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?

You are never too drunk for berry picking

Plus Pecha berries are GREAT for hangovers!

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ellipsisspeak - 2012-07-01 03:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Red | Pokemon Game 'verse

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I told him he wasn't allowed to install a disco ball in the lobby, and then he goes and does it anyway. I'm setting his hair on fire the next time I see him.