bakerstreet | (no subject)

(no subject)

( THE MINOR INJURIES MEME )

pinched from here!

You or your meme partner has been hurt, but don't worry! This time around it's not that bad. You can still limp your way out of this mess.

→ WHAT HAPPENED.
1. Sprain/strain. How did you screw up walking?
2. Broken bones. Simple fractures still hurt!
3. Cuts. Hopefully one of you has a sewing kit.
4. Burns. Location, location, location. Let's pray this one isn't on your ass.
5. Concussion. No, they're most likely not holding up fifteen fingers.
6. Other. I'm not a doctor.

→ HOW'D IT HAPPEN.
1. Stupidity. You did this to yourself.
2. Accident. Is an unintentional attack still an attack?
3. Attack. Don't lie, you deserved it.
4. Other. It's probably still your own fault.

→ WHERE'D IT HAPPEN.
1. Home. Did you remember to invest in a first aid kit?
2. School/Work. This should be excellent for getting you out of doing stuff!
3. Outdoors. Predators like the smell of blood. Clean up asap.
4. In the water. Hopefully there aren't any sharks!
5. Other. Like a hospital. That'd be handy.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

Let me help: it's a fine title and you like it. [ yeah, good luck, blue! but he's not trying too hard to grab them. giving her a chance. ]

[ Holding them directly above her head now then. She lowers it slightly when he speaks though, huffing. ] Are you deciding how I feel for me?

[ oh jeez! he's reaching over her, hand on the back of the couch to brace himself as he does, but stops when she says that. hand still reaching for the peas, though. ] That is not what I... If you really hate it, I'll stop using it.

[ And she's leaning back a little, but maybe not enough, staring straight up at him. Close enough to- ] No, I don't think I do. [ She sounds extremely distracted. ]

[ suddenly, so does he. extremely distracted. ] It's not so bad, is it? [ his hand lowers. maybe his fingers touch her cheek, very lightly. ]

Edited 2016-01-06 21:42 (UTC)

[ Blue knows that she should keep her eyes open, but she doesn't. She knows she should move in any direction other than toward Gansey.

But she doesn't. ]

No, it's not so bad. [ She isn't really sure what she's talking about now. ]

[ gansey forgets to answer, at that point. his fingers tuck a strand of hair behind her ear instead. she's so close. he makes a point of not looking at her mouth, but even then it's almost like that night in the car, where he had to step away. he should. he should back away.

but he doesn't.

he leans to press his cheek to hers, because that's the closest thing they have, and because she'll know what it means. ]

[ She inhales -- and it's far too sharp and distinct to be insignificant -- when his cheek touches hers. It's already tingling from the sensation of him pushing her hair back. As soon as she breathes in, she promptly forgets to breathe out again. This is all happening too fast.

And too slow.

Both at the same time. Again, she needs to move away, but she doesn't. Her hand comes to rest on his forearm. The peas are behind her on the couch, having fallen away the moment she forgot how to breathe. ]

[ pull away, pull away. it should be simple but it's not, he should want to but he doesn't. there alarms in his head that he silences like he's practiced it. maybe he has. maybe every time they get too close he shuts those out.

he doesn't move, except to rest his hand at her neck, the other already tangled in her hair. he's not breathing, either, unsure if the dizziness he feels is from that or just blue.

it takes a lot to resist the urge to turn his face against hers. he wants to bury his nose against the line of her jaw, but then his lips would get too close. ]

[ Blue almost wants to cover her mouth. It's the only way to be safe. The only way to be sure. She's positive her self-control just can't hold any longer... but it does.

She knows. She knows if she kisses him, that's it. It's him and she can't do anything about it. Doesn't want to do anything about it.

But she also knows this isn't the day. Her hand slips up and down the sleeve of his shirt. Dry. It seems like an affectionate gesture, maybe. She's just checking for a pulse. Whether it's his or hers, she isn't sure. ]

[ he should say something. some kind of apology.

but is he sorry? he's not sorry he wants to kiss her. he's not sorry he's trying to find a way they can do that without doing it.

he's only sorry, the sorrowful kind of sorry, that this is the kind of life she has to lead. that this thing hovers over her, puts a wall between herself and anyone she lo — likes. reaching right over that wall to touch her anyway in the closest way he can feels like cheating to some degree.

he should say something. ]

Blue... [ but there's nothing to say, really, so he just says her name, a sigh, as softly as he would like to kiss her. ]

[ Blue would like to put on a brave face, to say it's all right. To say it doesn't matter, because it's okay if she has someone who lo-- likes her, even if they can't...

But she can't.

Because she does want to kiss him, this ridiculous, wonderful, charming, eccentric boy. She wants to very much.

But she's not sorry he wants to as well. Sorry, perhaps, that he can't. Sorry she knows things she can't share, sorry she's kept it to herself for so long that she doesn't know how she could ever tell him... but not sorry that they want this thing between themselves. ]

It's- [ What it is, she never says, because she's shifting her head, burying it against his shoulder, inhaling his scent, and trying not to wrap her arms around him. She might be failing. ]

[ gansey is definitely failing. his arms are definitely going around her, keeping a hand in her hair and the other around her shoulders and holding her there, against him. it's easier to do this without a car in the way. it's strange to do this in monmouth. on his couch.

the words it's okay are at the tip of his tongue, but there are so many things going on in moments like these that he's not sure what he would be saying it for. it's okay that they're doing this? okay that they feel this way?

but it's not, is it? it's forbidden. not allowed. gansey simply couldn't help himself.

keeping his lips from her ear, he says her name again, quieter than before, but filled with all the things he knows he can't say. ]

[ It's strange and a little nice to be held like this. Except, when Blue stops thinking about it at a distance, it's not so strange. And more than a little nice. She feels like she might possibly be disappearing. Into his arms, out of her own skin, somewhere else, but still incredibly present.

The way he says her name, it sounds different to any way she's heard it said before.

Her hands tentatively find purchase in his shirt, which she uses to hold herself both close to him and keep herself at a distance. If she moves much closer, she might be able to feel his heart beating, sense when he's inhaling and exhaling. She might know once and for all how strong he is and how strongly she feels.

Before she can stop herself, she thinks, 'I love him.' She can't say that aloud. She can't say anything aloud, because no matter what words she chooses, those are the words she's going to be saying. ]

[ it still feels like he's not holding her close enough. and yet, this is much closer than they should ever be. so much for never speaking of this again. so much for that. so much for not letting this happen.

they've gone too far to go back now, haven't they? and to think, they really did try. was it all those little exceptions to their rule that pushed them too far? or was this just going to happen no matter what they did?

true love is a heavy thing. a thing of stories and fairy tales. things one shouldn't take word for word. it's fantasy.

but so is magic. and magic is real.

his heart is beating very fast over something that is just a hug. because it's not just a hug, and never could be. his fingers run through her hair, seeming to whisper sorry as he tries to calm down, to find the strength he needs to pull away. ]

[ Head and heart heavy with a hundred incomprehensible thoughts, Blue seemingly finds the strength first. She slowly pulls back, looking up at him with a soft furrow in her brow. ]

You're not hurting your hand, are you?

[ Her voice catches when she says that, so it comes off as less commanding than she intended. Also, her hands are still resting on his forearms, far more comfortable there than perhaps they ought to be. That lessens the effect of her words as well.

But if she hadn't pulled back...

She can't really think about it. And yet, the more she does, the more she wants to say something else.

Something ridiculous.

Something that would give everything away.

She holds her lips closed. ]

[ even if he was, he's not sure he would feel it. everything else is distant in comparison to blue right there in his arms. that doesn't dissipate even when she pulls back.

gansey shakes his head, fingers trying to tuck down another strand of hair spiking away from her head. ]

My hand is fine.

[ he should stop touching her. that would help clear the haze, clear his thoughts and his mind. but he doesn't want to. if his hand wasn't hurt, it would be curling into her shirt at her shoulder. instead it rests there, flat.

his lips curl a little, trying to dispel the seriousness of the situation. of their situation. they've already said they need to be careful today, but they went right back to this. ]

You make it difficult for me to keep my word. [ it's mean to be a compliment, a way of saying that she's too full and present and vibrant for him to ignore, no matter how hard he tries. ]

[ Blue nods, slowly. Like she's still checking to be sure he's really telling the truth. Like she has to be sure, even though she can sense he is. It's not clear, even to her, if this is her way of being careful.

Not about his hand. ]

Okay. [ She speaks softly, trailing off as she tentatively lets her hands fall to his sides. When she does, she looks up at him again, like she's asking if this is okay.

It's not okay, is it?

But it's not okay not to either. ]

You're one to talk, Richard Gansey. [ As if saying more of his name will put any distance between them. By this time, it's practically a term of endearment. It's evident in the way her lips can't help but quirk slightly, mirroring his expression. She shouldn't smile. She shouldn't get closer.

She should leave.

But she doesn't. ]

[ of course it's okay for her hands to be at his sides. of course it's not okay that her hands are at his sides.

it's complicated, like everything they do that crosses the line. but what line? where does the line go? can it really be this terrible, when it feels so nice to be close to her? it's not like he can kiss her.

even thinking that smarts a little with the unfairness of it. for her sake. ]

I suppose I should stop saying things I won't be able to stick to.

[ a kind of dangerous thing to say, given the situation. maybe he should stop saying they shouldn't talk about this ever again only to do it a few days later. maybe he should stop telling himself he doesn't need blue to call, that she shouldn't, while still furiously wishing she would. ]

[ What a paradoxical thing, this relationship of theirs. Lack thereof. It's hard to define what's happening here. ]

That's up to you. [ She says this quietly, but her tone is earnest. It's not that she's denying she's part of this or that she bears some responsibility - she knows she does. She's most of the reason there have to be rules of any sort. If she weren't cursed, if she and Adam hadn't... if she didn't care for Gansey so much, as though that were something you could simply put in a box and hide away from yourself...

She purses her lips. ] I think you have to decide. [ For himself, she seems to be saying. Not for them. He has to choose what he's going to do, just like she has to decide what she's going to do.

Then, together, they can decide what they're going to do.

Together. ]

[ keeping his hands from her hair would be wise, but he can't help but touch those lost strands.

up to him. a big thing to decide, when it comes to them. does he want to keep on going this way? no. does he want to keep feeling like he's lying to himself? no.

do they have bigger things to worry about? yes. glendower and school come to mind. but this is big, for them, to them. it is, undeniably so. ]

I think it would be wise.

[ if he decides something, he wants to know what her choice would be, too. ]

What would you decide?

[ And she, in return, can't help but shift her head closer. She's not helping and she knows it. Maybe that's even why she's doing it. Existing in a strange state of limbo where their fingertips can only touch when no one's looking and they speak in coded messages via midnight phone calls... that's almost worse than nothing at all.

Sometimes.

So, maybe she should stop.

(But she doesn't.) ]

I think I already have.

[ That wasn't what she expected to say, but now it's out there and floating around in the air between them, it feels like the only obvious response. Lying about it isn't going to help either of them, is it? She forces her fingers to disengage from his shirt, smoothing at the fabric with hands that most certainly aren't shaking. ]

[ this feels even bigger than it did before, and his fingers still in his her hair. he's not sure where to go from there, either, but the idea of allowing this to be without weighing themselves with guilt sounds like heaven. if they can do that then it feels like they might work through whatever hurdles try to get between them. his heart is beating too fast and loudly enough that he hopes she can't hear it.

better make his intentions clear, here. ]

I don't want this to be a lie to ourselves and each other any more.

[ If he doesn't feel her hands tremble, then she can't hear his heart racing. And if he does and she can, then that's probably okay too, isn't it? It's not as though this is some minor thing. They'd be committing to something difficult. To love someone and tell them so, while limiting the ways they can show it?

She leans back, not pulling away, but because she wants to look at him. ]

I don't either. [ A sigh escapes her lips, not sad, but a little wistful. ] Do you think we could-? [ She worries at her lip, eyes downcast. ] What about... [ Adam. ]

[ that's really it, isn't it? their feelings are clear as day to each other, and starting to grow too strong to be pushed in boxes much too small for them. having accepted that is really one half of what was stopping them.

the other half is adam. and how much they don't want to hurt him. ]

We can talk to him. Together? [ would that work, or make adam feel like he's being accosted? gansey isn't sure. this isn't a situation he's familiar with, despite being up to date on most social graces. ]

We can tell him how we feel, say we don't want to hurt him... If he tells us to wait, then I'm ready to, a little longer.