How to Play [ Comment with your character and preferences. ] [ Reply to others, using the RNG to determine your fate. ] [ Feel free to be as serious or as self-aware as you'd like. ] Prompts
1. Love at First Sight...or, at least, Interest. Hey little mama, let me holla at you. 2. Gradual. Your interest in this person is growing after getting to know them. 3. Excitement and FREAKING OUT. Oh my gosh, there's absolutely nothing you'd rather do than spend time with this person you want everything to be perfect oh gosh oh gosh. 3. Hormonal. Girls are so weird but they look so nice. 4. BFF to BF Your friendship is becoming/has become more than that. 5. Secret Crush You can't let you liking the head cheerleader or the king's daughter get out. It would be a disaster. 6. What is this...Love Thing? I don't understand love. What is love, baby don't hurt me --- 7. Unacceptable Your brain is betraying you and making you have gross emotions towards that person. 8. You Totally Like [blank]. Everybody knows your little secret. Guess it's not a secret, then. 9. MY LIFE IS OVER. You embarrassed yourself, so clearly no one will ever love you ever again. 10. Grouchy. Or Stunted. Remember how I said not just silly kids can get crushes? This is for all the adults who are finally feeling that fluttery feeling in their chest. 11. Dumb Shows of Affection. You want to show how much you care. These thoughtful gestures can range from not-so-dumb (she likes cookies, I'll buy her one!) to really dumb (I'LL BUY HER A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF COOKIES). 12. Forbidden Attraction. Everyone knows exes are off-limits. It's, like, the first rule of feminism. Also included are siblings of best friends, best friends, and cute people in general. 13. Ridiculously Over the Top. SHMOOPY POOPY CUDDLE BEAR! All sorts of pet names and inappropriate PDA here. 14. Fluffy Moments. Not necessarily dates, but just hanging out and having fun together. 15. Confession. I REALLY LIKE YOU PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME I carved this rock with my bare hands for you. Or maybe something more subtle. 16. Unwitting Object of Affection. Usually an older party or someone completely uninvolved with this malarky, but crushes know no bounds. 17. Adorable Kisses. Please don't let me miss, please don't bump noses... 18. Sloppy Makeouts. Put on "Stairway to Heaven" and go to town. 19. Arguments. You jerk! Look what you've done! I never want to see you again. 20.First Time Obligatory smut option, touch a boob, etc. 21. ANYTHING ELSE
exactly ~ lol i just love yokozawa i couldn't resist the bae
[If asked, or otherwise pushed into thinking about it, Eiri can always claim it's a business relationship. Especially if he's just trying to fool someone with a very faulty bullshit meter.
Or himself.
They did, at least, meet through work. One of those awful functions that his editor dragged him into attending, full of other writers, editors, publishers, illustrators and their dates. There was truly only so much he could take of that evening's choice of companion - a commercial actress, cute tits but smiled too much - before he sought out a drink, and someone as uninterested in socializing as he was. He found both, and while Cute Tits went home in a taxi, Eiri ended up in bed with another man. Admittedly, it wasn't the first time, but he makes it a habit to never revisit those rare trysts.
Why he ends up breaking that habit for Yokozawa - he really can't say. Or maybe he can, but he won't. (His therapist seems to lean toward the latter, but who gives a crap what she thinks.) Either way, he does, and now he's sitting in their regular spot and the mere fact that they have a regular spot makes him somewhat fidgety, but here he is all the same.
He's secured a small booth, stretched out along the length of his side in the kind of recline that portrays casualness, nonchalance, like he's waiting for someone but ultimately really doesn't care if they show or not, like he can't be bothered to look anxious or expectant. Meeting in a hotel bar lessens the chances of being spotted by local schoolgirls or housewives that will want his autograph or his picture, but he still keeps his trusty sunglasses on. It also helps with the business angle he's so desperately clinging to, though they almost always end up at one of their apartments rather than go through with the cost of paying for a room.
And maybe that's why he's brought this sort of...gift with him this time. It sits in his pocket, unwrapped and unceremonious, heavy with his own self-directed disbelief and the even heavier reminder of what happened the last time he fell for an older man. He is not doing that again, he is not going down that dark, thorny road. This is just...a friendly gesture between colleagues, right? Colleagues who sleep with each other on frighteningly increasing occasion.]
[After being turned down by Masamune, Yokozawa had done what he could to try to move on while keeping up with doing his job. He asked him to give him time before things can go back to normal between them - whatever the hell that could mean now. The furrowed brows that had been commonplace for his co-workers have only tightened since then as a result of having bad nights of sleep. His personal life was thankfully never put into question as it was pretty normal for him to be a huge grouch at work. An intimidating grouch, but an efficient one.
He still managed to keep a face at these social gatherings, especially to the important figures around. Despite his reputation, Yokozawa enjoys his job and wants what's best for Marukawa. If a few forced smiles and laughter is what he has to do to get through the day, then he'll do it gladly before returning home to his cat and brood on with his personal angst.
That was the plan, anyway. Yuki was among many authors he met that evening but something about the air around the younger man drew him in before he could even admit it himself. It immediately felt familiar but just different enough to keep him there. Yokozawa maintained a professional distance for the most part, but in a moment of utter weakness, he gave in.
Although at this point, even Yokozawa will admit that functions as nothing more than an excuse. It made sense after the first time, but now...he's not sure where they stand. Their nights spent together had him seeing less of Masamune's face and more of Yuki's and Yokozawa isn't sure if he wants to know what that means. The time it may take for him to figure it out might be too much and ultimately, unfair to Yuki.
It's about time they try to talk about things but the train ride he took to get here felt quicker than usual and by the time he arrives at the hotel bar, he's not sure what to say. He approaches Yuki and takes a seat next to him, but just far enough to make it believable that it's all just for business. (Who are they kidding?)
Hey. Sorry for being late. I had to deal with some last minute things at work. [And he has the day off tomorrow, thank god. If there are any traces of anxiety on him, it's pretty well hidden by his usual invisible walls...to strangers, anyway.]
[Eiri watches Yokozawa approach, the appreciation in his amber gaze thankfully hidden by the shades. He looks good, but Eiri supposes he always does. So it really shouldn't cause such a reaction in him; really, why should he continue to want him like this? With the women, it happens once, maybe twice if he's in a giving mood later, and that's all. He doesn't crave them, doesn't think about them after they're gone. Why should it be so different with another man? Why is it...more?
He gives the proffered apology (and the intrusive thoughts) a dismissive wave and a lift of his half-empty glass in greeting.] Well, that just means you have catching up to do. [He drops his feet to the floor, moving into more of a sitting position to give Yokozawa space to join him.]
Anything urgent? I hope you didn't abandon a crisis for my sake. [It's less concerned interest and more giving him an out, just in case. And, smirking - ] I hear writers can be a real pain in the ass.
[One thing he can be sure about when being with this man is that it's almost like a distraction from all the personal crap he's got going on his head. Keyword being almost. Some aspects of him remind him of Masamune - there's that familiarity and but overall...]
They can be - shut up! [That came out as a harsh whisper, not that it would make sense to anybody that cared to listen. Yokozawa pinches the bridge of his nose to hide his reddening cheeks, mentally chastising himself for letting that get to him so easily. He can recall their last get together vividly. All of them, actually. The man known as the wild boar of Marukawa has tough skin and it's Yuki that had been one of the extreme few to have be able to get under it in more ways than one. Cheeky bastard.]
I-it wasn't a big deal and all taken care of. [And not worth talking about. His face softens a little, a rare thing for anyone to see.] Anyway, is there something in particular you want to do tonight? [He's giving Yuki that look as if to say "don't give me a smartass answer!" Admittedly, he would have just walk into that one.]
[Amusement crinkles at the corners of Eiri's mouth, the twist of a smirk hardly unfamiliar but the genuine enjoyment inside it not often shared.] You've been here a minute and your mind's already in the gutter? Tsk.
[He shakes his head in false disappointment, as if his ego isn't swelling at the reminder of their last encounter, how the battle of wills finally ended with him on top. Literally. It was empowering, topping the older man, a sort of "fuck you" to the demons of his past. Just as undeniably heady as he feels right now, seeing the blush on his companion's face and knowing he put it there.
Eiri generously refrains from answering with more cheekiness, instead - ] I thought we'd go to my place. [He lights a cigarette as he says so, perhaps giving off the vibe that he's in no rush. Whether he is or not, in actuality it's to busy his hands, busy his lips, and keep the faint twitches of nerves under control. When he returns the lighter to his pocket, he pulls out a small, unassuming piece of metal, turning it over in his fingers as he inhales deep to steady himself.] It'll give you a chance to test this out. Make sure it works.
[He sets the apartment key down on the table, slides it over to the man next to him, but refuses to watch his reaction, more interested in trying not to look like this is a big deal, trying not to feel like a silly idiot.]
['It's your fault!' ...Yokozawa would totally say but that would be admitting a lot of things that would just wound his stupid pride a little. Instead, Yuki just gets a long, hard stare as if the gesture proves that his mind is anywhere but the gutter. Although it does feel like it has been thrown in a shaking washing machine a few times.
His eyes set upon the key, perplexed with it at first, looking at Yuki with that brow creased in a way that almost feels permanent now.]
If it's the key to your place then you can do it yourself - [...wait.]
...huh?
What does this mean? [The man shakes his head, trying to find a way to reword the question and make it sound less stupid. There's no other way to put it without being either awkward or entirely dismissive. Yuki's broken through just enough to not be warranted for the latter response. Yokozawa continues on, letting down the barriers for a few seconds to figure out an honest way to phrase his sentences. Because if this is what he thinks it is, it's all the more reason for them to talk things out. They obviously end up in each other's apartments by the end of the night anyway, so he doesn't see why unless there's another underlying reason.]
...let's talk at my place instead. [He stands up and leaves no room to argue, neither does he take the key. He won't yet, knowing that just tentatively holding it in his hand or his pockets would give him that shred of hope for something he thinks is out of grasp for him.]
I've got to feed Sorata too. [He adjusts his tie when he wants nothing more than to take it off because it's feeling like a tight rope on him. Hell yeah, the perks of being a pet owner. He's not lying.]
[Ah...well that's a strange feeling. The sense of rejection, and more, actually giving a shit about being rejected. He can't say he cares for it.
Luckily, he's had years of practice when it comes to slapping on a mask, and he has little difficulty doing so now with a perfectly untroubled roll of his eyes.] Relax, big guy. All I'm suggesting is that we cut out the middleman. My tab here is getting pretty high. [Not a lie. Although the implication he can't afford it is fairly ridiculous.]
If you don't want it, you can say so. [Holding his cigarette aside, he downs the rest of his drink so he can move on and stop berating himself for using the words of a petulant child.]
And if your place is just where you'd rather fuck - [Spoken low, just in case, as they're prone to do whenever not so innocent intentions are stated that bluntly.] - you don't have to use the cat as an excuse.
[There's that twist in his gut that he hates getting again, that wrenching feeling when he isn't sure if he's on the path of making the best decision or worst mistake. In any case, Yokozawa's anything but relaxed, already blaming himself for letting things go this far. He's got baggage that he's not sure if he's ready to air out.]
Idiot, that's not what I meant! [Also spoken low. Yuki's a difficult guy to read, but given his own experience, Yokozawa can pick up on somethings. Regaining his composure again, eyeing the key before trailing his gaze back to Yuki, he lets out a sigh.]
I've been meaning to talk to you but I don't know how to start. [That last bit, though honest like he always has been, comes out strained, at the sacrifice of a few pride points that he can afford to lose.] I'd be more comfortable if we did it at my place, so...
[And yeah, he's also serious about having to feed his cat. In some strange attempt to drive his point home, he takes the key in his hands and puts it in his pocket, crossing his arms while waiting for Yuki's answer. One way or another, by the end of the night, he'd be keeping it or returning it. And it frightens him at how he's so reluctant to have to do the latter now that he more or less accepted it.
[Talking. It's hard to keep the grimace off his face, and he isn't even certain he completely succeeds, for that matter. But hell, talking is what his therapist is for. Shouldn't it be easier to avoid this kind of thing with another guy? Talking with the women he sleeps with is something he reserves for cutting things off - why make an exception now? Just because...
Because he isn't ready to cut things off? That knowledge alone means he probably should.
But fine, so he isn't ready to end it. He isn't ready to talk about it, either. Whatever it is. But he brought it upon himself, didn't he, by getting that damn key made and bringing it here and assuming the other man wouldn't read too much into it - but why wouldn't he? Fuck, he doesn't know what he was thinking and he isn't really interested in sitting around and talking until he figures it out only for one of them to decide they should call it quits.
But then he takes the key.
Eiri regards him silently behind his sunglasses, holding smoke in his mouth as he considers it and letting it curl out from between his parted lips slowly. Intentional or not, he's the one who took them one step closer to being something or being nothing. Yokozawa just took another and now it's in his pocket.]
...Alright. [Relenting, he stubs his cigarette into the ashtray and slides out of the booth so he can stand. He'll go, and he'll talk, but that doesn't mean he'll say anything real. He rarely does. But he isn't about to dredge up old memories. He isn't about to hand over his heart so another man can use it to ruin him. Not again.]
My idea sounds like more fun, though. [A playful bump of his elbow as he heads for the exit, to show he'll cooperate. To a point.]
[Yokozawa catches the grimace, all too familiar with that look since it's usually what he sees whenever he looks into the mirror every morning now. He can't help but be peeved at Yuki's attitude there. Whatever goes on that man's mind is anyone's guess. As far as Yokozawa can tell, he's the only one with something on the line here.]
Of course you'd think that. [And it would take a twist of his arm for him to admit that he agrees with him.
He's quiet on the quick train ride back, keeping his eyes to the floor while still trying to think of how to word things. He does give the other a few sparing glances, but otherwise keeps his eyes ahead of him. Just telling Yuki to his face that they should end things here would have been something he could've brought himself to do if he really put the thought into it, but the key changes things. It brings up the issue of whether there is something more and he wants it or he's just simply not ready to deal with another rejection. It's as if this could hurt almost as much as the first time.
He shakes his head right as the train reaches their stop. Overthinking is a weakness of his. He's made stupid decisions and has said dumb things before that it might as well not be thinking at all.
When they reach his apartment, he reaches for his keys and tries not to think too much about the other one still sitting in there as he opens the door.]
I'm home, Sorata. [On cue, the cat appears from behind the armchair and greets the men with a mew. Yokozawa sets his briefcase onto the table and goes to pour Sorata his dinner. Meanwhile, the cat takes an interest in Yuki, sniffing at his feet and weaving his body around his legs.]
C'mon. Don't say that like anybody else wouldn't. [Maybe his sex drive is a little higher than average, but who keeps up with those kind of statistics, anyway? And who picks talking over sex? Other than the one guy he's ended up getting involved with, apparently.
He spends the train ride decidedly not thinking about just what kind of involvement that is. Or what it's going to be. Or really anything that has to do with the man beside him, the warmth from broad shoulders almost touching his own, the glances he tries his damnedest not to return. The anxiousness he could never feel with a woman. The feelings of that naive sixteen year old version of himself which he never wanted and never expected to resurface.
Yeah. He definitely doesn't spend it thinking about any of that.
At least Yokozawa's apartment comes with a distraction, though Eiri waits for his back to be turned before he properly acknowledges it.] Hey there. [So quiet he's almost whispering. He pockets his sunglasses, unaware of the involuntarily tender expression forming on his face as the cat peers up at him. He bends down, close to smiling, and gingerly strokes along Sorata's contentedly arching back. He hates to admit it, but cats are a weakness of his.]
I had a total brain fart there LOL sorry about that!
[Yokozawa turns around from the food, catching a glimpse of the sight and smiles in spite of himself. He knows very little about Yuki outside his work and "oh so warm" personality while Sorata seems to know more just by being around him. If only it was that easy for Yokozawa. He lets his smile fade as he sets the food bowl down for whenever Sorata feels like getting to it. He settles onto one end of his couch while loosening his tie and sets it aside.]
Have you had any pets before? [It probably should have been a question to ask the first time he and Sorata were introduced, although it was difficult to talk when their mouths would be busy doing other things. He's thumbing the key that still sits in his pocket, feeling like he's about to tread in the murky waters he's been trying to pull himself out of.]
Sorata seems to really like you. [All the more apparent with his loud purring that seems to have a soothing effect every single time.] Usually he would make a beeline for the food. [He reminds himself about his belief in how animals know what people are truly like on the inside. Not that he ever had an actual bad feeling towards Yuki, but the things that set him apart from Masamune are what's confusing him. There's an air of mystery but he can't tell if he's just imagining things.]
Lmao hey for all he knows Eiri could be hiding 20 cats every time he comes over. He's so mysterious
[Please, he was totally not petting the cat. That would require a show of actual affection. He was just taking off his shoes. That's all. Granted, he has some difficulty fully committing to the act, since once his shoes are set aside, he can't help but give Sorata one last scratch on the head.]
No. [He doesn't plan to elaborate, busy with ignoring the faint dusting of a blush that appeared on his cheeks and the tips of his ears after being caught. But more comes out anyway, gradually.
He goes to the unoccupied end of the couch, gaze briefly following the path of Yokozawa's tie as he discards it. The simple action sets off a natural response in Eiri, while probably not intended to do so, and the first few buttons of his shirt wind up undone without him even thinking about it. Some people are sympathetic cryers; he's just a sympathetic undresser.]
My sister and I used to feed the strays around our family temple.
[Sorata's too hungry to continue pestering Yuki for attention, so he makes his way towards his food bowl and goes to town with it.] You feed a cat once and it remembers you forever. That's why they always come back. [It was all he had to do for Sorata to choose to stick with him since Masamune was too preoccupied with other shit going on to take care of him properly. With how his life had been going, it's Yokozawa that's the one that is dependent on his cat for company. Now Yuki's in the picture...and like Masamune, is cattier than any actual feline he's ever met. He has to face the facts that he basically has a type.]
With the face you make around just Sorata, I wonder how you looked when you were surrounded by cats back then. [There's no trace of his usual condescension when it comes to his version of teasing people. Instead, it's a rare hint of amusement that hardly seems detectable by looking at his face alone.
Finding himself more relaxed now, he undoes the first few buttons of his shirt too and slowly exhales.]
Shut up, there's no face. [He's mildly horrified at the thought. Damn cats.
Their cuteness might've been enough when he was a kid, but there's more to the feline species that he appreciates now. He could never be a dog person. Dogs are too trusting, cats more discerning. They may enjoy your company but they don't need it, not the same extent, and they don't look at you with all that dog adoration, like you're the most wonderful thing in their world, no matter what you do to them, no matter how you hurt them. Dogs are too much like he used to be.
But he decided he wasn't going to think about that, didn't he?
Yokozawa speaks, then, and Eiri is listening, despite not knowing that he'll like whatever he hears. But his now unguarded eyes drop to that nice patch of exposed collarbone and he clicks his tongue in (extremely hypocritical and) insincere reprimand.]
Are you trying to distract me? [As if the smooth way he leans in close to murmur that very question with his lips touching the skin of Yokozawa's neck in a kiss, a hand on his thigh for steadiness, isn't meant as a distraction.]
Edited 2015-10-01 17:22 (UTC)
lmfao np, that was great. Do you play folks from Free?
I've been thinking - [Annnd in less than five minutes, out goes Yokozawa's upper hand in this strange dynamic that's become a pattern for them both. Instinct has him shrink back a little, but nowhere near enough to actually get out of Yuki's range. He places a firm hand on the other's shoulder like it belongs there. Given how often they do this, it might as well will be.]
Oi! [There's already some color to his cheeks from just their close proximity alone. It's mostly from annoyance, he swears. Not.] Who's trying to distract who here?
ahaha yeah i play sousuke and rin! i was gonna tag u with one of them but eiri is just too demanding
[ooc: omfg i just saw the deleted comment with that icon, omg i'm dying]
[The hand clasping him is strong, but not enough to restrict him, and not pushing him away. He'll take that as at least temporary permission to continue, and he does so with a few deliberate, sucking kisses to Yokozawa's jaw, beneath his chin.]
What, I'm listening.
[Okay, maybe he is trying, but it isn't just because he doesn't want to talk. He hasn't been with anyone else since the last time they were together and that's unusual, and frustrating, and so maybe he's a little eager, a little interested in getting as much as he can before it possibly ends.
He mouths his way up to Yokozawa's lips, kissing them fully and maybe a tinge desperately (because what if he doesn't get to after tonight?). His free hand finds Yokozawa's chest, traces that collarbone and trails down the bared skin to make quick work of the remaining buttons.]
Edited 2015-10-02 01:55 (UTC)
omg I wouldn't have known them at the time you tagged me. I only finished it a week ago. I play Rei!
(ooc: LOL I'm glad. This dude gets jealous so easily and he hates it but he can't help it sometimes.)
L-like hell you are. [A gasp finally escapes him and Yokozawa might as well wave the white flag at that point. How could he talk with his mouth suddenly preoccupied by another? His hand slips from Yuki's shoulder and trails to hold his wrist. He barely puts up a fight with the younger man, knowing that deep down, he misses these touches. He misses being touched and feeling like he's wanted. One of the throw pillows slips out from below Yokozawa as he lowers himself to lie down on the couch.
On one hand, he doesn't want this (what they have) to end either. On the other hand...what do they have? He pulls away, cheeks flushed from the kiss and fighting the urge to resume it.] Y-Yuki, hold on!
lol i made a good choice then! and aww rei precious butterfly prince uwu
[Eiri's stomach flips in victory and the beginning stir of arousal as he feels the older man's body yielding to his advances. That imposingly larger frame lowered onto the couch is as good as a green light and Eiri is quick to follow him down, settling himself between Yokozawa's legs.
Still, the resistance isn't entirely unexpected, though a protesting grunt leaves his throat when the wet, thorough kiss is so rudely broken. But he's not to be deterred just yet.]
Hold on to what? [Asked with all the innocence of a devil. He needlessly licks at already moistened smirking lips, one arm holding himself up so he can reach down between them in a bold move - palming intimately at the front of Yokozawa's slacks.] This?
I'm enjoying this so I'm glad you did! Hope you are too. ;u;
(ooc: It's tempting to have Sorata jump and sit on on Yuki's back. Because my sense of humor is awful.)
[Words. Yokozawa's always taught himself to use his words. Works great when attending sales meetings and discussing numbers...but completely fucking useless when dealing with a writer who can take him off guard by turning his words against him. It's happened so often between them now...so how does he do this to him every time and get away with it?]
Quit playing around! [He purses his lips and tries to forget the pair that was on his just a moment ago.] You know what I mean - [Yuki's not interested in talking. It's not as if Yokozawa wants to have this talk either but he thinks they both need to. His body argues otherwise, with him biting back a moan from the touching, reminding him of the things he misses from being intimate with someone.]
[ooc: it might be the only way to make him stop tbh lmfao]
[Listen to that body, Yokozawa. It's getting rather vocal, if the growing hardness under his hand is anything to go by. He continues to grope him shamelessly, dipping his head down to bite playfully at those pursed lips.]
I thought you liked when we "play around". [And maybe that's just more word manipulation, sure. Maybe it's more teasing.
But maybe it isn't. Maybe it's actually something honest. Because he did think their arrangement was good. He did think the other man thought so, too. But maybe he was wrong. Or maybe he fucked it up by getting that key, trying to make it easier - because that's all he meant to do, wasn't it?
Maybe he has no idea what he's doing at all. Maybe he should stick to women.]
[His brows furrow tightly to attempt a scowl at the bite, knowing that the slightest indication of his mouth opening would just lead to Yuki closing them with his own again.
He might as well do it on his own accord. So he uses the hand that was placed on Yuki's shoulder earlier and moves it to the back of his head and draws him to a deeper kiss. Old memories with another would resurface during moments like this but slowly, time after time, they start to fade. Not fade from his mind completely, but when they kiss and swirl their tongues together, he only sees the man in front of him and no one else. It's frightening and hopeful all at once, enough for Yokozawa to learn where he stands now.
His cheeks are burning hot enough for the other to probably feel it up close like this, but he'll deal with it. Anything to get this horn dog to listen. (Well, almost anything.) Yokozawa finally pulls away, cock still hard but he chooses to ignore it for now.]
Now, hear what I have to say or - huh? [Yuki must have felt that dip from the weight on his back, that weight in the form of an old cat that never seems to give a crap about what others think. Sorata finds just the right spot that only a cat would be able to tell the difference and curls up around the spot he deems the most comfortable.
Yokozawa reaches to give the cat a little pet on the forehead and reminds himself to buy catnip for him. Thank you, Sorata.]
If you move from this spot, I won't forgive you. [Whether he's speaking about the cat or the even bigger, sometimes fussier, cat is unknown...but he is looking at Yuki in the eye.]
[The kiss catches Eiri off guard, briefly startling him into a submissive stillness. It doesn't last long, though, and soon he's fighting for that control again but it isn't so easily achieved this time. With his eyes closed, everything else is intensified and the heat of Yokozawa's flush is only rivaled by the sudden, overwhelming warmth radiating from his own cheeks, his neck, his chest feels like it's burning. He's captivated by the wet tangling of their tongues, the saliva he swallows without knowing whose it is. When Yokozawa pulls back from his mouth, Eiri's slowly opening eyes are, admittedly, a little dazed, the hand on the older man's crotch unknowingly gone slack, and he doesn't entirely hear what he says, but then -
An undignified, near-yelping sound escapes him when the cat jumps on his back, the moment mercilessly dashed. It speaks volumes about his affection for Sorata that he doesn't reach around and shoo him off, instead merely shifting, begrudgingly abandoning his hold on the other man's dick and no longer propping himself up, attempting to settle into an at least somewhat comfortable position on top of him. His face falls onto Yokozawa's chest with a huff, the redness of his face now more due to embarrassment and surrender, as the happy cat kneads its paws into his back.]
Fine...fine. [His words are muffled, so he turns his head to the side, his hot cheek resting on Yokozawa's collarbone as he glares ineffectively away at the wall.] Talk. I'm listening. [Although, this is a really unfair position to be in for calling things off.]
this feels like a jumbled mess but yokozawa feels that way too so yay authenticity? ;_;
[Now, Yokozawa isn't the sort of man that laughs much, even in pleasant conversation. The most he'd give is a quiet chuckle. Why he does that so unconsciously, even he isn't sure himself. So he doesn't laugh at Yuki's less-than-befitting defeat...but given their position, Yuki will most definitely feel a slight rumble from his chest even as the older man somehow keeps a straight face.
Mostly straight. That little smirk he's giving is another way to say "I will never let you live this down."]
About time you are.
[He doesn't promise that it will be brief because it won't, as much as they both want it to be.
Lying here on the couch like this feels nice. A quiet evening of just him and his partner lying on each other with the only noise emitted is the sound of a purring cat. If there's anything he'd wish for it's to prolong this moment just a little more.
Whether Yuki wants the same thing or not is up to him to say. Yokozawa is going to have to deal no matter what. He's already got his heart broken once. What more could a second rejection do to him? He still remembers the key in his pocket.]
Not long before we started this, I was in a bad place. [He turns to face the sofa, feeling increasingly self-conscious as he continues.] As childish as this sounds, I was rejected by someone that I cared about for a long time in favor of somebody else. [Oh, he's not going into Onodera there. That's a mixed can of worms that can be save for another time.]
Everything looked like it fell in the right place at first. I knew everything about him and he knew everything about me. We were always there for each other. We had a connection but...it wasn't what I was hoping for and it finally came at me recently, right before I met you. [He and Masamune enjoyed one another's company even well before things got physical. And did things that glided along the line between best friends and lovers until Yokozawa dared to have his heart venture beyond that line.]
It hurt a lot more than I can put into words...but I do want him to be happy. [Even if it means he's with that god damn kid. The next words come slightly strained, as if he's delivering a confession.] Even still, I'd be lying if I said I'm completely over it.
[He puts his arm around Yuki and secures his hold by leaving his hand to rest the other man's shoulder. Sometimes things spoken can get translated poorly so he hopes this gesture makes it clearer about what he doesn't want and that is for whatever it is they have to end.]
I haven't spoken to him since then. [Whatever conversations they had were kept strictly business...and Yokozawa figures since he's already told Yuki this much, he might as well add:] And I see him every day at work. [Onodera too, though that level of awkwardness is at least mitigated by seniority.
It's his turn to be vulnerable again. Not in bodily submission but an emotional one. He takes a breather and continues to keep his gaze locked to the dark rest of the sofa, not expecting comfort or even sympathy. He never does from anyone, nor does he want it, and never planned to tell these things to anyone until now. But as much as he hates to admit it, he needs to, especially when approaching the subject of them.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
interjection) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2015-09-18 02:07 pm
no subject
some hybrid of 10, 11, probably 6 and idek man
[If asked, or otherwise pushed into thinking about it, Eiri can always claim it's a business relationship. Especially if he's just trying to fool someone with a very faulty bullshit meter.
Or himself.
They did, at least, meet through work. One of those awful functions that his editor dragged him into attending, full of other writers, editors, publishers, illustrators and their dates. There was truly only so much he could take of that evening's choice of companion - a commercial actress, cute tits but smiled too much - before he sought out a drink, and someone as uninterested in socializing as he was. He found both, and while Cute Tits went home in a taxi, Eiri ended up in bed with another man. Admittedly, it wasn't the first time, but he makes it a habit to never revisit those rare trysts.
Why he ends up breaking that habit for Yokozawa - he really can't say. Or maybe he can, but he won't. (His therapist seems to lean toward the latter, but who gives a crap what she thinks.) Either way, he does, and now he's sitting in their regular spot and the mere fact that they have a regular spot makes him somewhat fidgety, but here he is all the same.
He's secured a small booth, stretched out along the length of his side in the kind of recline that portrays casualness, nonchalance, like he's waiting for someone but ultimately really doesn't care if they show or not, like he can't be bothered to look anxious or expectant. Meeting in a hotel bar lessens the chances of being spotted by local schoolgirls or housewives that will want his autograph or his picture, but he still keeps his trusty sunglasses on. It also helps with the business angle he's so desperately clinging to, though they almost always end up at one of their apartments rather than go through with the cost of paying for a room.
And maybe that's why he's brought this sort of...gift with him this time. It sits in his pocket, unwrapped and unceremonious, heavy with his own self-directed disbelief and the even heavier reminder of what happened the last time he fell for an older man. He is not doing that again, he is not going down that dark, thorny road. This is just...a friendly gesture between colleagues, right? Colleagues who sleep with each other on frighteningly increasing occasion.]
I hope I do him some justice.
He still managed to keep a face at these social gatherings, especially to the important figures around. Despite his reputation, Yokozawa enjoys his job and wants what's best for Marukawa. If a few forced smiles and laughter is what he has to do to get through the day, then he'll do it gladly before returning home to his cat and brood on with his personal angst.
That was the plan, anyway. Yuki was among many authors he met that evening but something about the air around the younger man drew him in before he could even admit it himself. It immediately felt familiar but just different enough to keep him there. Yokozawa maintained a professional distance for the most part, but in a moment of utter weakness, he gave in.
Although at this point, even Yokozawa will admit that functions as nothing more than an excuse. It made sense after the first time, but now...he's not sure where they stand. Their nights spent together had him seeing less of Masamune's face and more of Yuki's and Yokozawa isn't sure if he wants to know what that means. The time it may take for him to figure it out might be too much and ultimately, unfair to Yuki.
It's about time they try to talk about things but the train ride he took to get here felt quicker than usual and by the time he arrives at the hotel bar, he's not sure what to say. He approaches Yuki and takes a seat next to him, but just far enough to make it believable that it's all just for business. (Who are they kidding?)
Hey. Sorry for being late. I had to deal with some last minute things at work. [And he has the day off tomorrow, thank god. If there are any traces of anxiety on him, it's pretty well hidden by his usual invisible walls...to strangers, anyway.]
no subject
He gives the proffered apology (and the intrusive thoughts) a dismissive wave and a lift of his half-empty glass in greeting.] Well, that just means you have catching up to do. [He drops his feet to the floor, moving into more of a sitting position to give Yokozawa space to join him.]
Anything urgent? I hope you didn't abandon a crisis for my sake. [It's less concerned interest and more giving him an out, just in case. And, smirking - ] I hear writers can be a real pain in the ass.
no subject
They can be - shut up! [That came out as a harsh whisper, not that it would make sense to anybody that cared to listen. Yokozawa pinches the bridge of his nose to hide his reddening cheeks, mentally chastising himself for letting that get to him so easily. He can recall their last get together vividly. All of them, actually. The man known as the wild boar of Marukawa has tough skin and it's Yuki that had been one of the extreme few to have be able to get under it in more ways than one. Cheeky bastard.]
I-it wasn't a big deal and all taken care of. [And not worth talking about. His face softens a little, a rare thing for anyone to see.] Anyway, is there something in particular you want to do tonight? [He's giving Yuki that look as if to say "don't give me a smartass answer!"
Admittedly, he would have just walk into that one.]no subject
[He shakes his head in false disappointment, as if his ego isn't swelling at the reminder of their last encounter, how the battle of wills finally ended with him on top. Literally. It was empowering, topping the older man, a sort of "fuck you" to the demons of his past. Just as undeniably heady as he feels right now, seeing the blush on his companion's face and knowing he put it there.
Eiri generously refrains from answering with more cheekiness, instead - ] I thought we'd go to my place. [He lights a cigarette as he says so, perhaps giving off the vibe that he's in no rush. Whether he is or not, in actuality it's to busy his hands, busy his lips, and keep the faint twitches of nerves under control. When he returns the lighter to his pocket, he pulls out a small, unassuming piece of metal, turning it over in his fingers as he inhales deep to steady himself.] It'll give you a chance to test this out. Make sure it works.
[He sets the apartment key down on the table, slides it over to the man next to him, but refuses to watch his reaction, more interested in trying not to look like this is a big deal, trying not to feel like a silly idiot.]
no subject
His eyes set upon the key, perplexed with it at first, looking at Yuki with that brow creased in a way that almost feels permanent now.]
If it's the key to your place then you can do it yourself - [...wait.]
...huh?
What does this mean? [The man shakes his head, trying to find a way to reword the question and make it sound less stupid. There's no other way to put it without being either awkward or entirely dismissive. Yuki's broken through just enough to not be warranted for the latter response. Yokozawa continues on, letting down the barriers for a few seconds to figure out an honest way to phrase his sentences. Because if this is what he thinks it is, it's all the more reason for them to talk things out. They obviously end up in each other's apartments by the end of the night anyway, so he doesn't see why unless there's another underlying reason.]
...let's talk at my place instead. [He stands up and leaves no room to argue, neither does he take the key. He won't
yet, knowing that just tentatively holding it in his hand or his pockets would give him that shred of hope for something he thinks is out of grasp for him.]I've got to feed Sorata too. [He adjusts his tie when he wants nothing more than to take it off because it's feeling like a tight rope on him. Hell yeah, the perks of being a pet owner. He's not lying.]
no subject
Luckily, he's had years of practice when it comes to slapping on a mask, and he has little difficulty doing so now with a perfectly untroubled roll of his eyes.] Relax, big guy. All I'm suggesting is that we cut out the middleman. My tab here is getting pretty high. [Not a lie. Although the implication he can't afford it is fairly ridiculous.]
If you don't want it, you can say so. [Holding his cigarette aside, he downs the rest of his drink so he can move on and stop berating himself for using the words of a petulant child.]
And if your place is just where you'd rather fuck - [Spoken low, just in case, as they're prone to do whenever not so innocent intentions are stated that bluntly.] - you don't have to use the cat as an excuse.
no subject
Idiot, that's not what I meant! [Also spoken low. Yuki's a difficult guy to read, but given his own experience, Yokozawa can pick up on somethings. Regaining his composure again, eyeing the key before trailing his gaze back to Yuki, he lets out a sigh.]
I've been meaning to talk to you but I don't know how to start. [That last bit, though honest like he always has been, comes out strained, at the sacrifice of a few pride points
that he can afford to lose.] I'd be more comfortable if we did it at my place, so...[And yeah, he's also serious about having to feed his cat. In some strange attempt to drive his point home, he takes the key in his hands and puts it in his pocket, crossing his arms while waiting for Yuki's answer. One way or another, by the end of the night, he'd be keeping it or returning it. And it frightens him at how he's so reluctant to have to do the latter now that he more or less accepted it.
God dammit.]
no subject
Because he isn't ready to cut things off? That knowledge alone means he probably should.
But fine, so he isn't ready to end it. He isn't ready to talk about it, either. Whatever it is. But he brought it upon himself, didn't he, by getting that damn key made and bringing it here and assuming the other man wouldn't read too much into it - but why wouldn't he? Fuck, he doesn't know what he was thinking and he isn't really interested in sitting around and talking until he figures it out only for one of them to decide they should call it quits.
But then he takes the key.
Eiri regards him silently behind his sunglasses, holding smoke in his mouth as he considers it and letting it curl out from between his parted lips slowly. Intentional or not, he's the one who took them one step closer to being something or being nothing. Yokozawa just took another and now it's in his pocket.]
...Alright. [Relenting, he stubs his cigarette into the ashtray and slides out of the booth so he can stand. He'll go, and he'll talk, but that doesn't mean he'll say anything real. He rarely does. But he isn't about to dredge up old memories. He isn't about to hand over his heart so another man can use it to ruin him. Not again.]
My idea sounds like more fun, though. [A playful bump of his elbow as he heads for the exit, to show he'll cooperate. To a point.]
no subject
Of course you'd think that. [And it would take a twist of his arm for him to admit that he agrees with him.
He's quiet on the quick train ride back, keeping his eyes to the floor while still trying to think of how to word things. He does give the other a few sparing glances, but otherwise keeps his eyes ahead of him. Just telling Yuki to his face that they should end things here would have been something he could've brought himself to do if he really put the thought into it, but the key changes things. It brings up the issue of whether there is something more and he wants it or he's just simply not ready to deal with another rejection. It's as if this could hurt almost as much as the first time.
He shakes his head right as the train reaches their stop. Overthinking is a weakness of his. He's made stupid decisions and has said dumb things before that it might as well not be thinking at all.
When they reach his apartment, he reaches for his keys and tries not to think too much about the other one still sitting in there as he opens the door.]
I'm home, Sorata. [On cue, the cat appears from behind the armchair and greets the men with a mew. Yokozawa sets his briefcase onto the table and goes to pour Sorata his dinner. Meanwhile, the cat takes an interest in Yuki, sniffing at his feet and weaving his body around his legs.]
no subject
He spends the train ride decidedly not thinking about just what kind of involvement that is. Or what it's going to be. Or really anything that has to do with the man beside him, the warmth from broad shoulders almost touching his own, the glances he tries his damnedest not to return. The anxiousness he could never feel with a woman. The feelings of that naive sixteen year old version of himself which he never wanted and never expected to resurface.
Yeah. He definitely doesn't spend it thinking about any of that.
At least Yokozawa's apartment comes with a distraction, though Eiri waits for his back to be turned before he properly acknowledges it.] Hey there. [So quiet he's almost whispering. He pockets his sunglasses, unaware of the involuntarily tender expression forming on his face as the cat peers up at him. He bends down, close to smiling, and gingerly strokes along Sorata's contentedly arching back. He hates to admit it, but cats are a weakness of his.]
I had a total brain fart there LOL sorry about that!
Have you had any pets before? [It probably should have been a question to ask the first time he and Sorata were introduced, although it was difficult to talk when their mouths would be busy doing other things. He's thumbing the key that still sits in his pocket, feeling like he's about to tread in the murky waters he's been trying to pull himself out of.]
Sorata seems to really like you. [All the more apparent with his loud purring that seems to have a soothing effect every single time.] Usually he would make a beeline for the food. [He reminds himself about his belief in how animals know what people are truly like on the inside. Not that he ever had an actual bad feeling towards Yuki, but the things that set him apart from Masamune are what's confusing him. There's an air of mystery but he can't tell if he's just imagining things.]
Lmao hey for all he knows Eiri could be hiding 20 cats every time he comes over. He's so mysterious
No. [He doesn't plan to elaborate, busy with ignoring the faint dusting of a blush that appeared on his cheeks and the tips of his ears after being caught. But more comes out anyway, gradually.
He goes to the unoccupied end of the couch, gaze briefly following the path of Yokozawa's tie as he discards it. The simple action sets off a natural response in Eiri, while probably not intended to do so, and the first few buttons of his shirt wind up undone without him even thinking about it. Some people are sympathetic cryers; he's just a sympathetic undresser.]
My sister and I used to feed the strays around our family temple.
omf Eiri how dare you hide this from him
With the face you make around just Sorata, I wonder how you looked when you were surrounded by cats back then. [There's no trace of his usual condescension when it comes to his version of teasing people. Instead, it's a rare hint of amusement that hardly seems detectable by looking at his face alone.
Finding himself more relaxed now, he undoes the first few buttons of his shirt too and slowly exhales.]
Listen, about us...
he never asked! Also wOW sorry wrong gay
Their cuteness might've been enough when he was a kid, but there's more to the feline species that he appreciates now. He could never be a dog person. Dogs are too trusting, cats more discerning. They may enjoy your company but they don't need it, not the same extent, and they don't look at you with all that dog adoration, like you're the most wonderful thing in their world, no matter what you do to them, no matter how you hurt them. Dogs are too much like he used to be.
But he decided he wasn't going to think about that, didn't he?
Yokozawa speaks, then, and Eiri is listening, despite not knowing that he'll like whatever he hears. But his now unguarded eyes drop to that nice patch of exposed collarbone and he clicks his tongue in (extremely hypocritical and) insincere reprimand.]
Are you trying to distract me? [As if the smooth way he leans in close to murmur that very question with his lips touching the skin of Yokozawa's neck in a kiss, a hand on his thigh for steadiness, isn't meant as a distraction.]
lmfao np, that was great. Do you play folks from Free?
Oi! [There's already some color to his cheeks from just their close proximity alone. It's mostly from annoyance, he swears.
Not.] Who's trying to distract who here?ahaha yeah i play sousuke and rin! i was gonna tag u with one of them but eiri is just too demanding
[The hand clasping him is strong, but not enough to restrict him, and not pushing him away. He'll take that as at least temporary permission to continue, and he does so with a few deliberate, sucking kisses to Yokozawa's jaw, beneath his chin.]
What, I'm listening.
[Okay, maybe he is trying, but it isn't just because he doesn't want to talk. He hasn't been with anyone else since the last time they were together and that's unusual, and frustrating, and so maybe he's a little eager, a little interested in getting as much as he can before it possibly ends.
He mouths his way up to Yokozawa's lips, kissing them fully and maybe a tinge desperately (because what if he doesn't get to after tonight?). His free hand finds Yokozawa's chest, traces that collarbone and trails down the bared skin to make quick work of the remaining buttons.]
omg I wouldn't have known them at the time you tagged me. I only finished it a week ago. I play Rei!
L-like hell you are. [A gasp finally escapes him and Yokozawa might as well wave the white flag at that point. How could he talk with his mouth suddenly preoccupied by another? His hand slips from Yuki's shoulder and trails to hold his wrist. He barely puts up a fight with the younger man, knowing that deep down, he misses these touches. He misses being touched and feeling like he's wanted. One of the throw pillows slips out from below Yokozawa as he lowers himself to lie down on the couch.
On one hand, he doesn't want this (what they have) to end either. On the other hand...what do they have? He pulls away, cheeks flushed from the kiss and fighting the urge to resume it.] Y-Yuki, hold on!
lol i made a good choice then! and aww rei precious butterfly prince uwu
Still, the resistance isn't entirely unexpected, though a protesting grunt leaves his throat when the wet, thorough kiss is so rudely broken. But he's not to be deterred just yet.]
Hold on to what? [Asked with all the innocence of a devil. He needlessly licks at already moistened smirking lips, one arm holding himself up so he can reach down between them in a bold move - palming intimately at the front of Yokozawa's slacks.] This?
I'm enjoying this so I'm glad you did! Hope you are too. ;u;
[Words. Yokozawa's always taught himself to use his words. Works great when attending sales meetings and discussing numbers...but completely fucking useless when dealing with a writer who can take him off guard by turning his words against him. It's happened so often between them now...so how does he do this to him every time and get away with it?]
Quit playing around! [He purses his lips and tries to forget the pair that was on his just a moment ago.] You know what I mean - [Yuki's not interested in talking. It's not as if Yokozawa wants to have this talk either but he thinks they both need to. His body argues otherwise, with him biting back a moan from the touching, reminding him of the things he misses from being intimate with someone.]
i definitely am omg i ship it now
[Listen to that body, Yokozawa. It's getting rather vocal, if the growing hardness under his hand is anything to go by. He continues to grope him shamelessly, dipping his head down to bite playfully at those pursed lips.]
I thought you liked when we "play around". [And maybe that's just more word manipulation, sure. Maybe it's more teasing.
But maybe it isn't. Maybe it's actually something honest. Because he did think their arrangement was good. He did think the other man thought so, too. But maybe he was wrong. Or maybe he fucked it up by getting that key, trying to make it easier - because that's all he meant to do, wasn't it?
Maybe he has no idea what he's doing at all. Maybe he should stick to women.]
aaaa me too ; u ;
He might as well do it on his own accord. So he uses the hand that was placed on Yuki's shoulder earlier and moves it to the back of his head and draws him to a deeper kiss. Old memories with another would resurface during moments like this but slowly, time after time, they start to fade. Not fade from his mind completely, but when they kiss and swirl their tongues together, he only sees the man in front of him and no one else. It's frightening and hopeful all at once, enough for Yokozawa to learn where he stands now.
His cheeks are burning hot enough for the other to probably feel it up close like this, but he'll deal with it. Anything to get this horn dog to listen. (Well, almost anything.) Yokozawa finally pulls away, cock still hard but he chooses to ignore it for now.]
Now, hear what I have to say or - huh? [Yuki must have felt that dip from the weight on his back, that weight in the form of an old cat that never seems to give a crap about what others think. Sorata finds just the right spot that only a cat would be able to tell the difference and curls up around the spot he deems the most comfortable.
Yokozawa reaches to give the cat a little pet on the forehead and reminds himself to buy catnip for him. Thank you, Sorata.]
If you move from this spot, I won't forgive you. [Whether he's speaking about the cat or the even bigger, sometimes fussier, cat is unknown...but he is looking at Yuki in the eye.]
♥ ♥ ♥
An undignified, near-yelping sound escapes him when the cat jumps on his back, the moment mercilessly dashed. It speaks volumes about his affection for Sorata that he doesn't reach around and shoo him off, instead merely shifting, begrudgingly abandoning his hold on the other man's dick and no longer propping himself up, attempting to settle into an at least somewhat comfortable position on top of him. His face falls onto Yokozawa's chest with a huff, the redness of his face now more due to embarrassment and surrender, as the happy cat kneads its paws into his back.]
Fine...fine. [His words are muffled, so he turns his head to the side, his hot cheek resting on Yokozawa's collarbone as he glares ineffectively away at the wall.] Talk. I'm listening. [Although, this is a really unfair position to be in for calling things off.]
this feels like a jumbled mess but yokozawa feels that way too so yay authenticity? ;_;
Mostly straight. That little smirk he's giving is another way to say "I will never let you live this down."]
About time you are.
[He doesn't promise that it will be brief because it won't, as much as they both want it to be.
Lying here on the couch like this feels nice. A quiet evening of just him and his partner lying on each other with the only noise emitted is the sound of a purring cat. If there's anything he'd wish for it's to prolong this moment just a little more.
Whether Yuki wants the same thing or not is up to him to say. Yokozawa is going to have to deal no matter what. He's already got his heart broken once. What more could a second rejection do to him? He still remembers the key in his pocket.]
Not long before we started this, I was in a bad place. [He turns to face the sofa, feeling increasingly self-conscious as he continues.] As childish as this sounds, I was rejected by someone that I cared about for a long time in favor of somebody else. [Oh, he's not going into Onodera there. That's a mixed can of worms that can be save for another time.]
Everything looked like it fell in the right place at first. I knew everything about him and he knew everything about me. We were always there for each other. We had a connection but...it wasn't what I was hoping for and it finally came at me recently, right before I met you. [He and Masamune enjoyed one another's company even well before things got physical. And did things that glided along the line between best friends and lovers until Yokozawa dared to have his heart venture beyond that line.]
It hurt a lot more than I can put into words...but I do want him to be happy. [Even if it means he's with that god damn kid. The next words come slightly strained, as if he's delivering a confession.] Even still, I'd be lying if I said I'm completely over it.
[He puts his arm around Yuki and secures his hold by leaving his hand to rest the other man's shoulder. Sometimes things spoken can get translated poorly so he hopes this gesture makes it clearer about what he doesn't want and that is for whatever it is they have to end.]
I haven't spoken to him since then. [Whatever conversations they had were kept strictly business...and Yokozawa figures since he's already told Yuki this much, he might as well add:] And I see him every day at work. [Onodera too, though that level of awkwardness is at least mitigated by seniority.
It's his turn to be vulnerable again. Not in bodily submission but an emotional one. He takes a breather and continues to keep his gaze locked to the dark rest of the sofa, not expecting comfort or even sympathy. He never does from anyone, nor does he want it, and never planned to tell these things to anyone until now. But as much as he hates to admit it, he needs to, especially when approaching the subject of them.]
poor precious cupcake bae ;3;
(no subject)
(no subject)
I'M SUCH A CHEESE BALL, I'M SORRYYY
help he has caught the feELINGS
EIRI'S HEART GREW THREE SIZES THAT EVENING