The Forced to Kill Meme

[memes4all]

FORCED TO KILL
This meme could be triggery, so be warned!


Rules:

1; Post as your character, include name and canon on the subject line as well as any triggers you have and absolutely want to avoid;
2; Other people will reply to you: those who reply are now put in a situation where they are forced to kill whoever they replied to;
3; Reasons for being forced to do so can be anything (threat, duty, blackmail, revenge, fear, etc.);
4; How your character is forced to do the killing (poison, knife, gun, etc.) is up to you;
5; If you want to take things in any other direction than just the killing part, please make sure to clear it out with whoever you are replying to and be respectful if someone chooses not to tag back, for whatever reason;
6; The killing isn't fully necessary, if your characters manage to find a way to escape together somehow (though it shouldn't be an easy one), if both the muns would rather avoid that;
7; Profit...?


Taken from/Inspired by this meme here!

Comments

[windblown]

[ Of which the winner seems obvious, leaving said cyclist at a grave disadvantage. Not that his lung capacity is bad, of course, especially against the norm. It's been trained for hours long battles on the road, constant activity with intermittent bursts along the way and the necessity of being able to feed that with air.

But this is not the wind whipping his skin, gasping into it until his throat dries. There is no air here. It's been taken, pushed aside for the water that feels as though it's pressing into him from everywhere, heavy pressure that threatens to collapse his chest and crush him. He wasn't able to take a preliminary breath before going under and now feels the absence gaining on him, a fast sinking feeling coming over him — a reality, as he's tackled down by Haru.

The shallow end never looked so deep as it does from the bottom. His body wants so badly to open its mouth and draw in much needed air. It's what he needs to gain a physical advantage here. But the air is all up above where he can see the dim light, the surface, so far from reach. If only he could get there... !

Haru is what stands in his way from escape, from the light, from taking a breath of sweet air, from leaving here completely. As long as Haru can keep Manami down here he's going to die and the younger boy feels that revelation like a dark strike upon his heart, one which shocks him into action. It's exactly these sorts of situations he's best at, isn't he? When the risk would be too much for the average person, anxiety pushing them to panic and ultimately to loss. He used to live for that kind of rush, gain a wild, instinctual strength that drove him.

If he's to continue living for that, he'll need to not die here. In a second his chances are weighed and the desire for life supersedes the one for death. The possibility that he can hold out longer than Haru is too small compared to the swimmer winning this battle, or both of them losing and making the point of killing moot. So Manami bends and thrashes as he tries to buck the other boy off of him, maybe loosen the arms around his body enough to slip out to freedom. He thinks to go for another blow as well, but there's no room for him to build up momentum in a kick this time; his legs just hit the solid floor of the pool. His arms are the last thing he can use, and as a last resort one releases Haru's neck. With his hand in a fist, bottom aimed at Haru, Manami cuts through the water to strike at his temple. ]

[natant]

[ Funny how quickly one's priorities can change under pressure. In one moment his everything is dedicated to snuffing Manami out - bringing an end to him, a madness set in that lets him know that only one of them will ever leave the water alive - until before he knows or sees it that fist meets his temple and pain flares across his skull. Something that complements the feeling of his heartbeat pounding and the rush of adrenaline through aching limbs, bubbles of air escaping as he opens his mouth and loosens his grip.

Someone, somewhere, is probably laughing at them right now, the one behind all this, at the futility of all they've done. Manami's right; friendship and camaraderie and all those sweet nothings their sports have taught them ring so hollow now, now that they've turned on each other. Now hope like a collar and leash is pulling them along. One of them dies while the other lives on forever changed, likely dies the next day if this sad excuse for a crime scene is any indication, like the deck was stacked against them from the start. Haru bends and accepts the way of things far too easily to pretend he's innocent in all this, like he hasn't considered this before, like he isn't almost grateful to have a chance at escape dropped in his lap.

An escape that is quite literally slipping through his fingers as Manami pushes him away, vision still blurred from a blow that feels like nothing at all once his feet find the floor and he can stand, breathe. Gulp down air like his life depends on it, feel some sense of clarity return to him as his senses go into overdrive to keep him standing. That sense of all things flowing in slow-motion as a fear-addled mind struggles to find a way to survive. And so Haru, just like Manami, weighs his options and finds the scales set in favour of life over death, leave nothing up to chance and battles of who holds their breath as opposed to getting as far away from Manami as possible, turning on his heel and moving to run.

No, not run. Ingrained instincts and all that.

Haru pushes off the bottom of the pool in one practiced motion, switches into a stroke that'll carry him to the far fall of the pool where he'll be safer still. He feels more at home in the water than anywhere else, is freer here than anyone else, and it's here in his element he has the best chance of staying alive. ]

[windblown]

[ And it's the water that Manami has quickly grown intolerant of, now that he has time to think of anything else besides crushing Haru with the weight of his hope. He escapes and forgets about the other boy in favor of finding air, placing his feet firmly on the pool floor to burst his head and shoulders above the surface of the water.

In the mean time, the swimmer quickly separates them by a few yards and that is honestly fine with Manami, who's almost to panicking now as he can't stand the feeling of the liquid holding him down for one more second. He doesn't even wait to fully catch his breath before hastily walking (as fast he can through water, anyway) to the edge of the shallow end. Dripping and panting, he pushes himself out of the pool before he sits heavily upon the floor. For a long few seconds, all he can do is gasp for air and stare at the tile underneath him, how the drops of chlorined water fall from his hair to splatter one by one.

But eventually Manami looks over to where Haru has positioned himself, wearily glaring over the safety distance that does well to protect the swimmer. He meets his gaze, blue eyes to blue eyes, so different in color and yet still the same.

They haven't moved from the room, but the situation is entirely different now. Manami doesn't even have the element of surprise on his side. Seriously, what's he going to do, swim after Haru? The other boy would probably make it off to the side and running to his room before Manami could get anywhere near him. Sitting here in a staring contest with him until they're found come morning doesn't seem like the best thing to do either. Even now he glances around, looking for some kind of plugged in appliance, something electric he can smash open and hurl into the pool, anything... !

If Manami turned his back to get something, Haru would leave, wouldn't he. Besides which, he himself is still wet and sitting in puddles he's just made. The younger boy realizes the futility of the situation and his glare scrunches into pained frustration. He drops his head, the bloodlust draining away to reveal the truth of the matter: he's going to die in here. He failed and he just tried to kill another person, still wanted to after failing. Haru's going to tell everyone and he's never going to let him get another chance and, and... he's going to die in here.

This might be worse than if he'd just died in the water.

He lets out a noise, not too loud but not too soft, something between a growl and a sob. But there's nothing more of it as he pushes up off the floor, slowly stands on its solidity and raises his head to face Haru. His voice is flat and so tired when he calls out to him, expression softening from that same weariness. ]

... Are you going to tell?

[natant]

[ Survival might just be the start of it. The finality of death holds appeal because it is precisely that, final; the fortunate dead need worry no longer. A release where consequence and concern and questions like what next? all suddenly cease to be. Life, more troublesome by far, leaves Haru with what might pass for hope flooding into his lungs and pumping through his veins, leaning on the far wall to support his weight as he treads water and wonders where to go from here.

He's not safe yet - there's no guarantee that Manami will give up that easily, not when the chance of escape is still so close within reach, not when all it would take is one good blow to bring either of them down. How long can they keep this up? Will Manami leap back into the water to try to snuff him out? What are his odds of survival if he can reach the dorms? Questions like that pound at the inside of his skull without pause, as Haru finds himself forced to bear the two finest blades despair has ever forged, fear in his left hand and distrust in his right. Blue stares deep into blue and with the water between them they stand near oceans apart.

But not at all. Because Haru hates himself for understanding exactly how the other boy feels, for thinking the same way, hates himself for wishing Manami had never come up for air. He hates how much he reminds him of Nagisa when he looks up at him now, self-effacing and on the verge of tears, hates how shocked he feels, widened eyes and a gasp hitched in his throat, at those simple words. Haru almost seems to go limp, head hung low to hide his eyes as the water drips down his face, hands brought to forearms to hold himself as if to shiver.

Someone just tried to kill him, he realises. He came this close to never seeing his friends or family again, and yet as he struggles to meet Manami's gaze Haru finds himself numb, what rage he can stir up within him not worth giving voice to. He was meant to be getting better at this, you know. Funny how a year of what people might call character development is easily overturned when his life is on the line. Even when he speaks, and each word sounds like a supressed scream for Manami to simply cease to be. ]

Don't know.

[ Don't know or don't want to, the distinction is far too thin and Haru does not yet care to separate them. His voice hardly even sounds like his own, face a mish-mash of expressions and two icons twinned together, dejected and drained as what adrenaline kept him living slips between his fingers. If he tells the others, they'll be safe for another day, another potential murderer out of the way, and Manami - he'll be locked up, kept away, the primary suspect if another trial occurs, and to say living in a cell is no life at all sounds so painfully shallow when it's said between these walls. And yet.

Their numbers have dropped and dwindled and Haru is just so tired of it now. ]

Are you going to kill me?

[windblown]

[ Don't know. He's surprised by the lack of harsh decisiveness when it seems cut and dry to him: he tried to take Haru's life. Even worse is that he took advantage of his kindness to do it, saw an opportunity in the rare moment of Haru opening his arms to console him and threw that sympathy back in his face with an attempt to choke the swimmer to death. Maybe Manami just underestimates how pitiful he looks right now while trying not to contemplate the very real possibility of spending his last days in an even worse position than he has been — locked up and unable to even move the way he wants, killed but kept alive for the sake of the group, subject to whatever failsafes Miyuki might need to think up. He'd be stripped of freedom. The last vestiges of humanity.

Justifiably.

But he can't see himself. He just sees in the other boy's face how Haru realizes alerting the others means a prison sentence for Manami, and how that knowledge stalls what should be a clear decision. He's... baffled, really. He'd just tried to kill him, use him for his own ends without a care for Haru or his feelings. But despite that here is Haru, actually conflicted over whether he should administer the punishment Manami deserves and keep the others safe.

All of a sudden, he feels like crying again. ]

... No.

[ He wants to want to, though. He wants to take the thoughts that pop up, of once again using Haru's kindness to get close enough to re-try stabbing him in the back, and actually hold onto these thoughts, put a plan into practice. It's his last hope of getting out of here, but he can't pin it down with determination. Why? He just did it, didn't he?!

His voice already trembles through that one, true word. Because Haru is kinder than he looks and Manami is more severe than he seems, yet more fragile, too. The compassion touches him, warms the frozen spike of hope inside until it melts away and shows that maybe, it wasn't true hope at all. That perhaps hope doesn't look as razor sharp and black but more... soft and uncomfortably squirming, like the way Haru's mercy burrows into his chest. ]

I... want to go home. But...

I don't know what to do.

[ He needs to leave, therefore he needs to kill someone. Right? But not killing Haru right now stops any possibility of success for future murder attempts, and as the resolve he had to take Haru's life has dissipated...

He looks down to the water and can't stop his thoughts from flicking back to the possibility of being tied up and sequestered to some spare room, monitored out of fear. (Of how he might go insane like that. Might goad someone into freeing him from it and making them the next murderer.) ]

in which we both ignore the meme title

[natant]

[ It's— It sounds naive, he knows, almost pitifully juvenile at this point, but Haru feels that no-one deserves that. What's been done to them behind these bars is monstrous and, terrible cliché as it is, he doesn't want to see any of them to sink to that level. It's that which stays his hand, wavering between the path he knows is correct and that he feels to be right; a few words from him and Manami will be set behind lock and key, never to hurt anyone again, and yet the thought of it alone makes his heart start to ache. Right, the heart Haru had forgotten he even had mere moments ago, now growing heavy in his chest.

How it honestly hurts to hear Manami say those words, feel his own shot at escape slip right through his fingers while relief starts tugging at his senses. He wants Manami to want it just as hard, wants the excuse, the shot at his own way out he's too much of a coward to earn any other way, but he can't hold back the warmth welling up in him now, much like a person's embrace, hating himself for the mess he's become yet so honestly happy for the first time in weeks.

He's glad that the boy who nearly murdered him won't have to suffer. Just in case it wasn't clear already that he's lost his mind. ]

... I know.

[ And he does - more than that, he understands. Understands without words, because how far have words ever got them in here, exactly how Manami is feeling, exactly what he wants, and that's why Haru can't bring himself to condemn him. They have too much in common, despite it all, little things like being in touch with something greater - be it the water around him or the wind at his back - cherish what freedom they can find too much for him to dismiss his feelings out of hand.

Living on means so much he has to live with, yet here he is all the same, mind made up the moment he hears those words. And so Haru, slow and deliberate, starts to wade his way back over to the shallow end, back to Manami, ignoring how every nerve screams out in protest, of what threat the other boy poses and how soon he should flee. Because a simple no is all the proof he'll ever need. He knows he can trust Manami, wants to believe in him, and that's the closest he's over come to hope.

It's not long before he climbs out of the pool, forsakes his advantage and trembling, extends a hand. ]

Let's go back, Manami.

[ Back to the dorms. Back to how they were before, not quite friends but close enough, the reason why Haru wants to hold him tight and feels close to crying, not quite sure why he isn't already. He'd say his tears had dried up if not for lack of trying. ]

Good End /o/

[windblown]

[ Being able to cry his eyes out before is probably the one thing keeping them dry now, as Manami lifts his gaze to Haru. Wide-eyed, he watches him do the unthinkable and actually start coming back closer to him, with each step making Manami's legs feel more and more like springs held taut. Haru says he understands, and... of course he does. Every one of them that's left has felt tired, frustrated, hopeless. Not one wants to stay in here longer than they have to.

Haru probably understands him the best out of them all. But ultimately: he's not him. They might be similar and feel as though they understand each others' feelings, but they can't ever know that for certain. He can't know whether Haru's seeking revenge just as it's impossible for Haru to know one hundred percent that Manami won't jump him again once he's on dry ground, won't grab him and bash his head into the floor.

And yet, Haru's still approaching him. He's almost to the edge, close enough that two thumb nail prints are visible at the front of his neck, and Manami takes one shaky step backward. He doesn't completely understand why, since he's fairly sure that the other boy won't try anything violent. It's more like Haru, with his actions and not anything inherent, brings with him a strength that's staggering. Rather than having taken the opportunity to make sure Manami would never hurt him or anyone else again, he's now making himself vulnerable again, opening himself up as he reaches out to another person. And isn't that one of the scariest thing in the world?

Haru's trusting him. That's what they have to do, if not destroy everyone but themselves. All of them have to start trusting: each other, that they've made the right decision, that they'll find a way out that doesn't include killing. It's scary because of the uncertainty, and Haru's asking him to try this out with him. That's why Manami finds it hard not to back away.

Slowly, like he's not entirely sure how, he reaches forward and slips his hand into Haru's. He feels its weight and how it's slightly larger, the warmth of it against his own. Despite all odds they're both here, alive after everything. It's not all better now, even though they've managed to prevent two more losses from being added to their total, but there's hope.

Real hope. ]

Mm.

[ His hand grips Haru's and Manami smiles. It's neither wide, nor sharp. It's even a little shy. But it reaches his eyes this time, which are just a bit more wet than a moment before. ]

I'm... kinda sleepy now.

\o\

[natant]

[ It's true that they can never really come to understand one another, not in here, not when this whole scenario they've been trapped in is built on how easily they'll turn on each other, and yet for the first time in a long time Haru still wants to try. He wants Manami to live, for no-one else to suffer any longer, wants more than anything to believe that ending is in sight. He wants to believe in the boy who is, against all odds, sparing him now, not because he's waiting for his moment but because he believes in him too.

He's scared - of course he is, when Manami could turn on him at any second, could throw him down all too easily when his back is turned - bites his bottom lip when the other boy pulls away and close to trembling up 'til the moment he takes his hand. It's... comfortable, for reasons he can't exactly describe, in ways that make his heart feel suddenly lighter in his chest, weeks-worth of tension flooding out all at once in a sigh.

He has to squeeze that hand, interlock their fingers just to be sure it's there, let that warmth spread into him bit by bit. The smile that tugs at the corner of lips almost hurts from how unfamiliar it feels and yet it's welcome all the same, has him holding onto Manami like his life depends on it.

Hope is hovering before him like a sight he's never seen and Haru couldn't be happier, even as the one who locked them up in here is no doubt watching on and screaming at them from afar. There's still so much that needs to be done, so much to make sure this never happens again, that those who've fallen before them didn't do so in vain, but now he's sure that it can be done and that's got to be worth something. ]

... Then let's get you to bed.

[ It's - a little weird, actually hearing his own voice like this, still shaking but undeniably friendly, gently tugging Manami along away from the pool, away from all it means, back to where they belong. ]

C'mon.

[windblown]

[ When Haru threads their fingers like that it's almost too much, feels like he's touching his heart as Manami's cheeks grow warm and pink. He's unused to it but is truly happy that they can do this, that Haru isn't scared of him and that they've made their way out of the grip of despair by holding each other up like this. And it's not just them; now they'll need to learn to be a part of something even greater than themselves — but something human this time.

Manami hums and allows himself be led, like a kid. He yawns along the way because now that all the excitement is gone, he really does feel tired. He'll probably sleep better tonight than he has in weeks and anticipating that makes him feel even lighter as they walk through the halls.

But when they come to his door, Manami's reluctant to let go. His hand has settled nicely into Haru's and it would just get cold if he released him. ]

... Thank you. For listening.

[ That, and much more. His gaze drops down out of momentary bashfulness, when he sees himself and realizes that he's... not wearing clothes. They're still lying by the side of the pool, probably a little wet. Manami scratches at the back of his head. ]

Ahh, I forgot my clothes! I guess I can get them later, eheh...

Um, good night, Nanase-san.

[ He nods and then there's a silent moment, before he finally lets their hands part to go disappear inside his room. He changes into something dry and curls up under the covers, making one last mental note to pick up his clothes tomorrow morning. No worries.

Unless there are others awake at this hour, elsewhere in the facility, with less success than they had at beating back the dark thoughts and urges. Unless there might be a reason to question whose clothes those were, why they were there. And then why, exactly, someone spotted the two of them walking around this late together, holding hands and wearing next to nothing.

Tomorrow is going to be another beautiful day. ]