minor injury meme.

[estivates]

You or your meme partner has been hurt, but don't worry! This time around it's not that bad. You can still limp your way out of this mess.

INJURIES.
1. Sprain/strain. How did you screw up walking?
2. Broken bones. Simple fractures still hurt.
3. Cuts. Hopefully one of you has a sewing kit.
4. Burns. Location, location, location. Let's pray this one isn't on your ass.
5. Concussion. No, they're most likely not holding up fifteen fingers.
6. Other. I'm not a doctor.

HOW'D IT HAPPEN.
1. Stupidity. You did this to yourself.
2. Accident. Is an unintentional attack still an attack?
3. Attack. Don't lie, you deserved it.
4. Other. It's probably still your own fault.

WHERE'D IT HAPPEN.
1. Home. Did you remember to invest in a first aid kit?
2. School/Work. This should be excellent for getting you out of doing stuff!
3. Outdoors. Predators like the smell of blood. Clean up asap.
4. In the water. Hopefully there aren't any sharks!
5. Other. Like a hospital. That'd be handy.

Comments

[calibrating]

Uh-huh, and you've never had your own ass saved by my impeccable shot?

[He peruses the cards Shepard's handed to him: an ace, two threes, one four, a king, a queen, and a two.

He thinks about it for a second, as if there really is any strategic angle one could take in a game that relied on chance and the honesty of the other player. And between the two of them, the latter was completely unlikely]

Got any threes?

i accidentally archived this notif like a silly pants, my bad

[ethic]

[ she is just going to raise a shoulder totally!! and completely!! innocently. she has no comment on your impeccableness, vakarian. nope. not one.

instead she looks down at her cards. two twos. a four, a six, two sevens, and a joker. she gives a shake of her head, no point in cheating just yet. ]

Nope, go fish.

[ and she will wait until he picks his new card. heh. ]

no worries!

[calibrating]

[His eyes narrow and don't leave Shepard's face as he slowly moves a hand to pull a card out of the pile.

And fumbles around a bit.

Because he's still staring her dow--oh cool there we go he found it. Smooth. He adds the card to the fold (a seven), and nods for Shepard to take her turn.]

So is this game supposed to teach some kind of value to Alliance soldiers?

i still have no excuses!!

[ethic]

[ she's trying not to laugh as she keeps his gaze because out of the corner of her eye she sees him trying to grasp at the card. her teeth go into her bottom lip just a bit to keep from smiling but a puff of laughter slips out of her despite it. don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh.

but then he recovers and they're good! haha, nimble fingers. time to continue the game. she weighs the pros and cons of telling him that they play it just for boredom but... no, that wouldn't be as funny. so, ultra serious, she nods in response to his question. ]

Go Fish is a game in which Alliance soldiers are taught how to respect and trust their team. If your squadmate says he has no threes, you have to respect that. You have to take their word and continue the game until it's played through. So, Vakarian, do you have any... uh, twos?

You don't need no excuses brah

[calibrating]

[That's a big heaping pile of bullshit that he can smell ten million space miles away, Shepard, and the deadpan (more than usual) look on his face says it all.

But it's still enough to trouble him over any potential lies he could've told. He stares at the two for a good few minutes before he hands it over]

Here, take it. Think of it as a gesture of respect, Commander.

[Someone's a sore loser. And he hasn't even lost yet.]

<3333

[ethic]

[ look, it was very funny to her at least. she's still trying to stifle a laugh and it's becoming more difficult with each passing moment. she's not good at this deadpan stuff! not like garrus, at least.

but it's worth it, she thinks and she casually takes the twos right out of his hand before adding them to hers. oh, how noble of him. ]

See, this is why I like you on my team. You know your place.

[ shep, stop pushing it. ]

[calibrating]

Apparently my place is making sure you don't get your ass handed to you.

[He peeks at his cards again before acknowledging Shepard once more]

In the best possible way, of course. [lies] Now do you have any fours, ma'am?

[It's hard to stay dignified when you're strung up like someone's dinner and so full of sour grapes]

[ethic]

[ she's just going to wave a hand dismissively. yes, yes, that too. ]

Yet here you are, getting your ass handed to you by a dumb bet. Now who's going to watch my six while you're stuck here? There's no other scarred up bad boy turians around to fill that role.

[ she does grin very cheekily at the ma'am though and looks down her at cards, feeling pleased whenever she can trade barbs like this with garrus. if she had to say, she'd probably consider him her best friend at this point and sitting here, playing go fish with him -- it reminds her why.

she's even going to nod when she spots her four, holding it out to him willingly. ]

[calibrating]

[He'll graciously take the card from her with a single flexed mandible, the closest a turian can get to a human smirk.

Going tit for tat with his commanding officer, of all people, is a privilege that Garrus can and will never take for granted. The pecking order on turian vessels is far too rigid to allow for anything of the sort, loose personal restrictions between crewmates aside. To count Shepard amongst his friends, and, let's face it, his best friend is nothing short of a miracle he's not entirely sure he deserves.]

I'll still vouch for Vega to watch you on the field, even if he's a complete and utter ass.

[Because Garrus totally isn't one himself.

Totally.]

[ethic]

Yes, because that's completely different than the norm.

[ she's going to roll her eyes because she sees that smirk, vakarian and it is not appreciated it. don't you sass her when you're the one in the hospital bed with your foot in the air! really now.

but she's going to look down at her cards and furrow her brows, trying to think of how to actually win this. hm. so he took her four but she took his two -- which leaves her with three twos. she needs another one to have a full set and it's probably in the pile. hm. ]

Have any sevens?

[calibrating]

It's not my fault you picked the biggest jerks in the galaxy to help you out.

[He says as he hands over the seven. Sort of. He holds it just out of Shepard's immediate reach, almost like he's trying to prove some kind of point. Probably the one about her crew being made up of giant, gaping assholes.]

[ethic]

[ oh, you giant wad of --

shepard makes a face at garrus and leans forward to grab the card from him. while she does that, she puts a hand right on his leg to hold herself up as she grabs it. it wasn't super necessary and she puts way more weight than she should on it but, you know.

whatever.

when she sits back, she raises an eyebrow at him as if daring him to say anything. ]

You were saying?

[calibrating]

[He's not saying anything, Shepard. Mostly because he's too busy cringing, his shoulders hunched, and his toes curled, to even think of a response.

Evil. Just plain evil.

But he lets go of a breath and finally answers back between clenched teeth:]

Got any queens?

[ethic]

[ she's going to savor that cringe because it serves you right. not just for the card but for getting hurt doing something dumb. shepard wouldn't really say it aloud but she does hope his leg heals quick because she really isn't looking forward to doing any missions without him. it would just make her feel... off.

but for now, she focuses on the go fish. she gives a shake of her head, knowing he has to take another card from the pile. hm. okay. she has now:

- three twos
- one six
- three sevens
- one joker

so she needs a two and a seven and she'll be winning. nice. she grins to herself about it for a moment before realizing she should probably keep a poker face on and immediately schools her expression into something innocent. whoops. ]

No, yeah. No queens.

[ good thing they're not betting anything ]