Charles Bingley (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hastily) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2015-02-16 05:53 pm
hastily) wrote in bakerstreet2015-02-16 05:53 pm
they are the hunters, we are the foxes - and we run
Sometimes, these things happen. Sometimes, you're in just the wrong place at just the right time, or you've made the wrong (or right, depending on your intentions) person mad. Sometimes it's better for everyone if you just go. Sometimes there isn't time for good-bye.
You've managed to lose yourself somewhere out there, for whatever reason it was. Maybe you took someone with you (willingly? not?), or you found someone else who needed to disappear as badly as you did. You're in your car, or a cheap hotel, or a house by the side of the road. What else can you do but watch, and wait?
It could have been as simple as being glimpsed at the 7-11. Your phoneline wasn't as secure as you thought. You locked eyes with the wrong person across the room. Now the house of cards is collapsing, and maybe not just your life, but the lives of everyone you love could be in jeopardy now. The walls are closing in, and your arms are giving out.
- post with your character's name and canon. if you have an on-the-run AU, or scenarios you might want to play out, mention them here.
- find others. tag them.
- and then, run.
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The brunette had to make him and everyone in SHIELD think she left. That she had turned her back on him and everything he was trying to do and crawl back to HYDRA. In reality she was waiting in the shadows, using her training to find other members of the origination she was once part of. She stayed away from cameras of all variety, used only burner phones and kept a low profile. It was easy to hide in plain day light when his team had no idea what they were looking for. There was a reason why she was on the enemies' side. She knew how to play dirty, how to hide and knew the perfect moment to strike. Which was why she made sure to make a spectacle of bringing down a HYDRA base. She made sure every camera captured her face, saw her fire each round of bullets straight into her comrade's chests. Watched her bloody hands punching, taking down one man and clone after the other.
Prior to engaging the fight she set up several explosives on the compound. Setting the detonator at just the right time. She had a time frame in mind; when to strike, how many bodies needed to be dead or at least on the floor, where they had to be. When she managed to kill another clone, the explosives went off. One right after another, kicking up debris, knocking down pillars and destroying one of the bases of HYDRA's operation. The last of the feed was Sarah being knocked out of the frame by the explosion, body laying on the ground and then static. What the camera failed to capture was her getting up before the final bomb went off. Everything was going to hell in a hand basket. By the time the dust settled there would be charred bodies, rocks and dust. Evidence would strongly suggest Sarah was dead.
She needed everyone to think so, including Trip. Hydra nor Shield would continue to search for someone dead. She could hide in the shadows far longer and wait for the perfect time to reappear.
It wouldn't do her any good to instantly return once she faked her death. No, the whole point was selling the concept and letting the world go on without her. Although 'dead' she still kept tabs on Trip. She knew the lengths he was going through to find her and their unborn child. It pained her beyond words to be separated from him, but she used that pain to help carry her mission. In death she could be free and not be hunted down. All three of them could live in peace without fear of someone coming in the middle of the night to take everything from them. Their child could grow up never knowing what their parents did for a living. That was the sort of life Sarah wanted for them.
When the day finally came to reappear to him she was nervous to say the least. Scared of how he would react to her disappearing and being killed on camera. Still, she had to face him. He needed to know she was okay and more important their baby girl was fine. The brunette walked right out of the women's clinic, making sure she was in plain sight before the SHIELD agent for him to notice her. It worked.
Sarah raised her head making eye contact with Trip. She was wearing a black and blue plaid dress shirt that looked big around her, but still form fitting. Black skin tight pants and boots. The final layer of clothing was her grey hoodie. She was getting to be a bit too...round to keep wearing such clothes, but she hadn't had time to shop for maternity wear. Though Trip was standing right there, she couldn't make a scene. She couldn't rush to him even though every bone in her body was telling her to do it. Instead, she nodded her head at him before walking away.
Clearly, she wanted him to follow her. If he did, she would lead him down to an empty alleyway. They could talk here with some privacy. No worry of a camera trying to take pictures of them or record what they were going to talk about. When he finally came to the alley way she let out a light scoff.
"Slow, Trip. Too slow..." she chided, using some of her dry humor as she approached him, stopping until she was only inches from his grasp.
"Hi, Love."
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Yet all the same, Antoine didn't rush to pick up where they had left off when alone in her presence. He didn't trust why she was bringing him to a remote alley. One hand remained back, ready to pull out a firearm if necessary. When Sarah had disclosed her betrayal, he'd taken a step back when she approached him. This time was different. He stood unwavering with eyes that remained somewhat vigil in peripheral sight but mainly stayed focused on her.
"You're alive?" The question was barely audible over the city sounds. His voice seemed breathless. The inquiry wasn't completely rhetorical. Trip was numb and close to passing out if he didn't continue forcing himself to breathe steadily. "How--We saw--DNA..." He couldn't put one coherent sentence together. "You're alive?" he repeated again with anguish. Emotionally, he couldn't pick between anger at yet another betrayal and relief.
If he hadn't gone through mourning her, the reunion might have been a more joyous one. The moment was overwhelming Trip. He couldn't sort how he felt. Her teasing words were spot on; he was slow. Moving fast with Sarah hadn't worked out before unless she planned on living a life of constant lies. He wouldn't make the leap that she led him on but he also couldn't hide his hurt at being left behind, no matter the circumstances. They were supposed to be together.
His mind spun questions as to what the reason was for reuniting in an empty alleyway, why she seemed to hold amusement in her greeting, or even why she dared to use the term of endearment. Were they all manners to mock him? Was Sarah still in danger? Was he in danger? One hand kept forward between them without daring to touch her as the other hung just behind, ready to grab a weapon. "I buried you," he whispered. "What I had of your remains. I buried you."
He struggled not to cry. Everything inside ceased feeling hollow and turned into knots once the realization set in that Sarah wasn't dead. She might have tried answering him but he didn't hear it. It had nothing to do with the city sounds or comm in his ear. His mind and feelings were reeling. Antoine threw caution into the wind and moved the hand between them around her body, pulling her in close enough that his forehead could rest on her head.
"I thought I lost you. Wanted to die with you. I can't..." The word choked up with emotion though he wasn't sobbing in grief. One wall had come down in the shock but another kept him standing and from turning into a sniveling mess. There was no mistaking the hurt he felt though he didn't lose complete composure. Sarah had been his undoing. He couldn't smile at her return from the dead. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
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He looked ready to shoot her or pull her in. Honestly, she wouldn't blame him if he attempted either or both. For disappearing on him, for pretending to be dead, she deserved that much. Any verbal lashing or physical beating he felt she deserved, she would endure it. They were in this life together. It was selfish of her to withhold information even if it meant his safety. She was prepared for the consequences, all of it.
Sarah remained quiet, letting Trip ask his questions and staying still to offer some comfort or support through the roller coaster of emotions. When she was pulled into his embrace, she quickly returned it. Her arms wrapping around his waist as she tried to press herself against him, which was hard to do given how her middle was bigger now.
"I know...and I'm so sorry, Trip." she murmured to him, holding him tightly. One hand began to rub and pat his back, trying to give him some support in that sense. For her though, it felt like she was coming home. She was back to where she belonged. Hopefully he wouldn't pull away. she wasn't sure if she could handle it. Her heart was racing enough as is.
"HYDRA or SHIELD will look for a corpse. I had to make everyone believe I was dead...includin' you..." for which, she knew she could never undone. Not all the science and money in the world could make her go back to undo that mistake.
"I'm so sorry, Love."
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His team supported him though they weren't all in accord with how or why Sarah met her demise. The dissent wasn't voiced around Antoine. Was she Hydra or a SHIELD ally in the end? A few days into his return to work, the debate was forgotten by most with how hard Trip worked on missions. He didn't get more than four to six hours of sleep daily while the rest was spent training or working. He gave up his search to find love lost in exchange for vengeance.
She might have noted the change in his appearance from dark, tired eyes to more chiseled features (lower body fat). Antoine had always stayed in shape but under the clothing he wore was a harder than usual body. Training kept him focused in between missions. He kept a pictures of Sarah in his cell phone that he looked through before the start of each assignment. Trip vowed to never allow himself to lose focus again. Hydra would pay for what they had done.
Yet here she was in his grasp. Only one hand held her, the other hanging down at his side. He physically showed his emotional state. Antoine was torn between elation and devastation. Feeling her belly against him helped ease some tension. All the thoughts running through his head stopped at the realization that Sarah had kept their child. He never once questioned being the father which was more than could be said about his stance on her allegiance.
"We need to go," he abruptly declared and straightened up. A hand still kept her close as the other turned on the communications piece in his ear. "Coulson. Something's come up. Skye, you need to head back. I'll meet up with you guys as soon as possible. ...Yeah... I will... Triplett out." Antoine turned off the piece and pulled it out of his ear. He looked to Sarah. "Where are you staying? I've gotta get something done. I'll meet you there after."
It seemed impossible to let her go again after everything but Trip couldn't leave his team hanging after everything. He wasn't even sure if Sarah was real. There was so much to figure out. His brown eyes looked deep into hers.
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There was a change in the man who managed to steal her heart. His eyes were tired, possibly from sleepless nights or from searching for her. She wished she could take that pain, all that heartache away. For the first time since she began her mission, she questioned it. Was their bond damaged beyond all repair? Would he no longer want to be part of her life? ...Did he love her anymore? She didn't let the thoughts or worries onto her face. No, she had to be strong and pretend she had things together.
His mission was still at hand, which meant they needed to part. She understood that. He couldn't let anyone know she was alive, at least not over their current line of communication. One never knew who was listening in on either side. Sarah pulled back, but kept her hand in his.
"Yeah, I'm at the hotel on 34th and Haynes. Floor 5, room 503." She reached into her pocket to give him the spare card key.
"I'll be waiting for you there." There was no need to tell him to come alone. He wouldn't fill in the rest of his team until he had answers, then he'd let Coulson in and explain things. Sarah squeezed his hand before pulling away and leaving him to walk back alone.
The hotel was similar to the condo they shared back in Miami, near the beach with a beautiful view of the ocean. The place seemed like it would be one the tourists flocked too, which was true. There were families or couples waiting around in the grand lobby, either checking in or leaving for back home. Sarah was waiting on the bed, looking over the files of herself that she was able to steal before she destroyed the HYDRA base. A lot of things were blacked out, but it was as close to a medical record she had. If anything went wrong with her or her child, they had at least something to look at.
Sarah wasn't sure how long it would take until Trip arrived, but she wouldn't leave. She had food to last her for another two days if he didn't show up tonight. Hopefully he would.
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The optimism she used to be annoyed with was missing. Light in his eyes, his smile--nowhere to be found. Trip gave her a nod in acknowledgement when Sarah told him the location of where she was staying. He needed to bench his feelings and not put his team in jeopardy. The simple mission became complicated and took longer than originally planned given the interruption. He needed time off unexpectedly. The only way to do that (in his mind) was complete the assignment solo.
Coulson eyed him with concern yet granted Triplett the time off, not without first asking if there was something the younger man needed help with. There was no thought of him turning Hydra. Quite the opposite. Even May uttered something about Trip getting himself killed. Skye pleaded not to let him go without support to which Antoine firmly objected. "No. You guys have been doing more than you should in that regard. Enough. I've got this. I need to do this on my own...."
He placated his friend by taking equipment with him to call out for help if things went beyond his control--swearing he would ask for help if it came down to that. Skye had to promise not to follow him in any form. Antoine couldn't be sure she'd stick to the bargain with no word from him so he negotiated keeping in touch via texts, allowing her to see his location by GPS instead of in person or with cameras.
Simmons mended him from the cuts he suffered having handled the three person assignment solo. She was quiet, accustomed to not winning arguments with him lately. He explained taking a leave of absence which brought tears to her eyes that wouldn't fall. Not until a hug goodbye. At his assurance of returning, Jemma forced a big smile while brushing the wetness off her cheeks. "You better. We have a series to catch up on! I'm quite certain Fitz has no desire to marathon Doctor Who with me," she tried to jest until getting pulled into another hug.
Nothing was said after the second embrace. Trip made his way to Fitz and Mack, leaving it to everyone to fill in Morse and Hunter who were off base somewhere. Skye saw him off with a tight hug regardless of the bruises, scrapes and cuts from his earlier scuffle. Antoine didn't care much about the pain. His friend deserved a proper farewell. In truth, he had no idea what was in store. If Sarah had appeared as a move by Hydra, it could very well be the last his team saw him.
It was close to three a.m. before he finally made it to the hotel room. He arrived with a full backpack, a number of weapons, ammunition and tech on his person. His heart hoped to find Sarah alone in the room. Finding her asleep on the bed with only a bunch of paperwork was the first he felt a true feeling of warmth in a very long time. She must have been exhausted not to hear him enter. There was probably a gun under a pillow, he understood that. Quietly, he got out of his backpack after moving over the bar lock on the back of the door.
Trip had to assume she hadn't locked the door, expecting his arrival. He didn't use the door lock and chance waking her. He considered it a good sign to find her the way he had. Sarah would've hated to find him watching her sleep. Or at least, the old Sarah would have. She always gave him grief when she caught him doing that in the past. The memory prompted him to smirk. Water welled in his eyes that he quickly brushed away. He silently unloaded everything bulky from his person and set it on a carpeted area not far from the couch he stretched out on.
They'd both sleep and talk come the new day. Unless she chose to wake him. He was physically and mentally exhausted that if Sarah left it to him, Antoine might not wake up well into the day. She had already seen the dark circles around his eyes earlier. Now there was tape on a cut over his right brow as well as some on his hands and a slightly swollen bottom lip along with bruises that weren't there before. He rested on the sofa in t-shirt and utility pants, only removing his boots and jacket --his jacket which he used for a blanket over Sarah before taking the spot on the couch.
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If that wasn't enough her final moments were spent in a base, killing everyone inside and making herself a martyr for whatever cause or reason. She convinced every single person in her life that she was dead. No one knew of her plans otherwise Trip would have tried to stop her. He would have blown her cover and revealed her plans to SHIELD and possibly inadvertently to HYDRA. if even a whisper of her plans made it to HYDRA, she would have been dead the next morning. She would have been made and so would Trip. The world would be mourning the loss of a great agent instead of a clone who only had borrowed years at best. Years that Sarah now had to spend with Antoine, if he let her. If not, she had no trouble backing out and fading away like dust scattered to the winds.
She lost track of time, unaware of when she fell asleep in bed with her files and papers spread out. There was a handgun in the night stand, within perfect reaching distance to shot any intruder. The door to her room was unlocked, wanting to prove she trusted Trip to come back and not harm her. There was no telling how their reunion would go. If it would be heated, filled with yelling and arguing. Or if it would end in tears with one or both of them swearing the other for good. Only time would tell...time and a night's worth of sleep.
The brunette didn't stir from her slumber when Antoine crept into the room. The soft rustle of his items being placed on the ground did little to wake her. No, what eventually woke Sarah up was a growling stomach. The baby wanted her to eat. At five in the morning she woke up, surprised to see him on the couch, but made no move to wake him. She saw the dark circles around his eyes, a true sign of his lack of sleep. The cut on his face was concerning, but she trusted that he got properly patched up.
Sarah left Trip alone, making herself something to eat before creeping back into bed. It hurt to have him so close to her, but yet so far. He needed this time to himself, but at least he was with her. They were in the same space, that was a small step in the right direction. She didn't bother him, letting him wake up on his own.
Although brewing a pot of coffee (decaf) might help in getting him to wake up at 2 in the afternoon.
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The questions faded to the background at watching her sleep. It was something to see her peaceful after everything they had been through. Everything she had been through. He wasn't a level 8 agent but knew something about lies. What Sarah had told him about her upbringing wasn't a lie. Coulson's team had found definitive proof. Recordings of her childhood as well as that of other clones.
It was that truth that kept him from disclosing her pregnancy. Trip had never doubted her. Not until having her come back from the dead. The doubt, however, wasn't about her past but completely about the present. There were answers that he needed and some he wasn't entirely sure that he wanted. Watching her sleep... a few tears rolled from his eyes. He didn't want to feel the heartbreak again but was helpless to stop it. So he closed his eyes and finally gave in to sleep.
It didn't feel like the afternoon when he began to stir. His eyes reluctantly peeled open one at a time. They were blurry and he instinctively rubbed them. He lifted his head and the arm that had draped over his eyes at some point during sleep now wiped down his face after using the back of his hand to rub his eyes. He smacked his lips with a quick lick to top and bottom before finally setting his sight on Sarah.
"Hey..." he uttered groggily. His eyes broke away briefly to check his watch for the time. He looked back to the bed where his jacket was now on the floor, papers still spread out. Maybe it had fallen off of her when she got out of bed. Maybe she doesn't want any part of you, something sinister whispered in his mind. Trip winced slightly at feeling the cut over his brow but didn't give it a second thought. He let his head fall back down on the cushion he used as a pillow and stayed put.
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"Hey.." she replied softly to him, letting him wake up on his own before coming to his aid. She prepared a cup of coffee for him, making sure to add the right amount of milk and sugar. It was the little things about him that she could recall so easily. How he liked his coffee, where he preferred to leave his keys. How he slept with at least one arm tucked under his head or draped over her. The little things were made his absence so hard to deal with, but she willingly pulled away to secure a future for them.
Her feet softly padded along the carpet floor, moving with the hot cup of coffee to his spot. She offered it to him, hoping the scent would be enough to get him to take it. Though, he was probably wondering why a pregnant woman would have coffee in the morning.
"It's decaf," she told him, hoping it would put him more at ease with the drink. If not... "If it's not what you'd like there's a shop about two blocks down."
The brunette was willing to go out to grab him coffee. She was willing to do something so little if it meant she could get him to look at her, talk to her. If he refused, then...she wouldn't know what she'd do. She was still trying to figure out how to tell him they were having a girl or show him a picture of the ultra sound. He wants answers first, not your attempts at fixin' the bridged you burned. Breathing out a slow, controlled breath, she sat across from him on the coffee table holding her hands in her lap. The tough girl persona she had was set aside for the moment as remorse and guilt began to play through her eyes and body language.
"I'm sorry," it felt like she couldn't say those words enough to him. "I knew what I did was stupid and left you.." Broken, in pieces, in a way that would make most men fall to their knees in horror and disbelief.
"Left you upset. I did what I had to do because I wanted, and still want, a future with you. I couldn't tell you because...I knew you'd try t'stop me. I needed t'convince everyone, SHIELD, HYDRA, you...that I was dead." HYDRA knew there was a relationship between her and Trip. They set it up that way. If she didn't sell him her death, HYDRA would've known something was up. Another reason was if she did tell him and things didn't go to plan...she would have been dead. She didn't want to give him hope only to have it snatched away from him.
As she spoke to him she maintained eye contact. It was only towards the end where she bowed her head, breaking contact and looked so upset with herself. In trying to protect the one person she cared about, she broke his trust. She burned their relationship.
"The DNA you found was mine. I left it there on purpose, but the body wasn't mine. It was another clone's. Our DNA sequence is encoded with specific markers to identify one clone from another. Before she died, before the explosion, I shot her up with my blood. I knew her body would be too charred to make out any of her remains, let alone test. The blood was a best bet..."
She hoped that answered his questions, at least the important ones, but if he had others she would answer those too.
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Sarah received a simple shake of his head, his eyes peering over at the kitchenette area. She hadn't just gotten to the suite. There were groceries. He wondered how she knew about the mission he'd been on yet didn't ask. Trip silently sipped the coffee, secretly enjoying the perfectly made cup. His silence seemed to set her in motion. She began to explain without him uttering a word. He drank about half the coffee then set it down on the side table next to the couch arm.
Putting the coffee down was for the best when she explained planting DNA to fake her death. It had been hard enough to deal with her conviction on leaving him as the best choice. Knowing she intended on deceiving him again was a tough pill to swallow. Yet it did mean something to watch the woman who had never been meek, unable to to meet his eyes when she told him the truth. Moreover, Sarah voiced wanting a future with him.
Could they go back to what once was? She betrayed him not once but twice. Both times to ultimately protect him. Trip didn't know what to think, much less, how to feel. He reached for Sarah and pulled her to sit across his lap. An arm wrapped around her back while the other hand rested over her belly. Her head had space to fall in a familiar manner on his shoulder. "You're right. I would've.--Tried stopping you."
There was more he should have said but couldn't find the words. He fought the overwhelming desire to kiss her and forget all the pain she had put him in. However, Antoine couldn't sit with that distance between them. It had been difficult enough to sleep apart. His heart ached, an improvement from the unfeeling numbness carried since learning she was dead. "Like I'm stopping you now. Don't talk about it anymore," he uttered in a choked up voice.
Antoine struggled in a number of ways to finally say what he did. She needed to take responsibility as much as he deserved answers. All of it was in the sake of rebuilding trust. Wasn't it? No. He didn't need anything but Sarah, even if he hadn't said that. She had crumbled in a manner he'd never seen her do before. Under his hand, the child they created was growing. There wasn't better proof of her intent than that.
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As it were she was already lost with else she could do or say to make things up to him. Hell, it would take two life times to undo the damage she inflicted on him. Once for initially lying to him and another for leaving him as abruptly as she did. She didn't care how SHIELD would react if or when they learned of her being alive again. If they would throw her in a bunker or a cell for Trip's own protection. Just as long as he understood why she did what she did. If he forgave her, it would be more than she deserved. If he still loved her...she wasn't sure what she would do.
Her eyes went wide having him reach for her. She didn't flinch, knowing the man would never hit her regardless of her carrying or not carrying the child. He reached out for her to sit in his lap like she used to do. Sarah bowed her head slightly, placing one hand on top of his, letting both of them rest on her stomach. Finally he said something, breaking the silence that rolled in from her explanation. He would have tried to stop her. He would have gotten them in more trouble, which was why she didn't give him any details.
Tears were starting to prick at the corners of her eyes forcing Sarah to blink multiple times. Her blinking did little to stop her tears from falling. Both of them were getting choked up, but she didn't want to say anything, only nodding her head her head to his words. Though she didn't utter a word she was sniffing back a runny nose and bringing her hand up to wipe her eyes. Her fingers were spread out, filling the spaces between his and held his hand in a tight manner. This was a good sign. He wasn't telling her to leave, he never said he stopped loving her. As relieved as Sarah was, it was hitting her how hard it was for her to leave him. All the feelings she set aside were coming out of the box she placed them in.
Sarah leaned in, resting her forehead on his shoulder to softly cry on his shoulder. All the emotions she had bottled up needed to come out. The wounds she inflicted on him from her absence were inflicted upon herself too. She continued to cry for a few minutes until her eyes were red, and she felt she could regain control of herself. Clearing her throat, she tilted her head to whisper in his ear.
"We're having a baby girl."
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He was comfortably slumped into the couch with Sarah nestled against him once she cleared her throat. There was an immediate smile--albeit, a closed lip smile--but a smile nonetheless at the news he was given. "Might as well say I'm sorry now. You know I'm gonna spoil her rotten." It was the lightest his tone had been since being reunited with Sarah. His hand that rested on her belly immediately started rubbing over it.
"You pick a name?" he asked almost as gently as the caress on her abdomen. Antoine tucked his chin just enough to place a soft kiss on Sarah's forehead. The furious heartbeat he had at seeing her the day before was a distant memory. She could hear, maybe even feel, how calm his pulse was. He still needed to tell her that she wasn't allowed to leave him again unless it was for good but something told him she already knew.
They needed to talk about what was next. Did she trust he could keep her safe? Maybe Sarah expected him to leave SHIELD with her return. Trip needed to consider that possibility. It was what his grandfather did when he started a family. A child needed to grow up with both parents. Antoine hadn't forgotten what he learned of the mortality rate of the clones. He had already worried if she'd survive the pregnancy which made her departure somewhat cruel. It was time he wouldn't get back if having a baby reduced her lifespan further.
He hoped SHIELD could help with a cure but that would mean Hydra possibly finding out that Sarah was still alive. Knowing Coulson, he'd guard the secret with his life but that was just it--the data would be somewhere that eventually could be found. However, all Trip wanted for the moment was not to have a worry. They deserved a moment filled with only happiness. He felt movement tap the inside of his palm as if their daughter agreed. She really just might be Daddy's Little Girl.
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In all honesty, she didn't give much thought to what she would want him to do. If he would leave SHIELD to raise a family, or if he would still continue to run missions. Her mind was too busy concocting plans of a future without HYDRA. Or focusing on what she would do if Trip didn't forgave her. There was always a plan for something that went wrong, terribly wrong, and worse case scenarios. Better to be prepare for the worse than hope for the best.
Hope was always a cruel thing. The idea that if one held out belief for something good, then surely, good would come. However, in her experience hope only brought nothing but pain. The prisoners back at HYDRA bases hoped to be rescued day after day. Hope for a rescue was replaced for a hope for death. Neither came easily. Every day she watched a person's hope take tiny chunks of them apart, until they were hollow inside. It was stupid to wish for something that couldn't be, but when she left, she found herself hoping, nearly praying, that Trip would let her back in.
He was holding her, keeping her together as she cried and soiled his shirt with her tears. Sarah didn't think it would be possible for him to forgive her, but he had. He was even smiling, albeit tight lipped, but he was smiling. Already he was apologizing for spoiling their daughter--a figure of speech, she knew, but still unsure of how to react. At least she knew how to reply to his question. She had been thinking of names.
"Kira," Sarah murmured, letting her British accent give way to a slightly Russian one. It was a pretty name, one she didn't mind hearing during her time in Russia.
Hopefully he liked it, though given the light tap from inside her womb, their daughter did. Or maybe she was just moving around, getting too restless for her own good. Sarah could feel her eyes pricking again.
"She kicked..." an obvious statement, but their baby never did that before. Their little one knew the perfect moment to brighten their moods.
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"Does it mean something? How do you spell it?" The questions came one after another. A strain lingered lightly in his voice, easily from having only recently woken up from sleep (after weeks of getting little to no rest)--not to mention, all the emotions they had gone through moments ago. However, just as clearly as the gravelly quality was in his tone, the upbeat manner of speaking had finally returned to the man she knew.
It was the first since losing Sarah that he could think of something hopeful. His mind swarmed with thoughts of baby furniture and putting together a nursery. Antoine pushed away questions of where that nursery would be along with anything else that was uncertain. The hand that had wrapped around his pregnant girlfriend moved up to knead the back of her neck in a familiar fashion, until he recognize her lower back could use the relief of tension more.
He didn't have much experience around pregnant women but certain things came naturally with a slight background in medicine. The willingness to help others were right down to his fingertips, being able to massage out tension. Trip was slowly growing whole in the little time spent with Sarah. If her future would be cut short with him and their daughter, he'd survive knowing they were together until the end and made the most of the time they had.
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"Light...or little dark one for her hair." Assuming they had a dark haired child, which was highly likely. She wasn't sure, but it sounded so pretty and fit so well. Now, how well that name would work with either one of their surnames, she wasn't sure. Fuck, she hadn't even considered anything else besides a first name, not a middle or last. What her name would be on a birth certificate...or even if they should have one. More questions of uncertainty that made Sarah anxious, but his touch brought her back to reality. She always enjoyed his neck rubs, but when his hand moved lower to her back, she ended up slumping against him.
"There are different spellin's of it, like K-I-R-A, or K-I-E-R-A, but..I think the first one is better..." she let out a light hiss when Trip rubbed further along her lower back. The added weight of her pregnancy combined with a shift in her center of gravity put pressure and tension on her lower back. She never realized or paid much attention to it until Antoine's magic fingers started their work.
"I don't know how I'll feel about her callin' me 'Mum', I didn't think...I could or should be one." Considering her path in life, that she thought she was infertile, she was a killer and completely unstable in terms of a life. The only thing that was stable was Trip. She had yet to consider if he would stay with SHIELD, or if he would walk away to have a life with her...and if they did, what the hell they would do. Sarah wouldn't know how to be a domestic house mum.
"I'm not even sure where we should have her." Hospital, SHIELD base, or back in Miami in that condo...
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"You will be hers. And by the time she gets around to saying it, you'll be fine with it. Because she's definitely saying 'Dada' first," he gently teased. His hand didn't stop carefully working the tense and tired lower back muscles on Sarah. He was smart enough to keep her feeling good while bantering a little. She probably noticed he hadn't commented on where to have the baby yet.
If she knew the gender then it was safe to say that Sarah had been seeing a doctor. He trusted she would divulge if there was anything important to disclose about the baby. Maybe if the baby was healthy it would mean that her mother wasn't going to end up like the other clones. They could possibly have a real life together. Grow old. Be grandparents one day. Trip couldn't help his train of thoughts. He wanted to cling to the happiness for just a while longer.
How would Sarah react to learning that he didn't see spending the rest of his life with any other woman? Would she be willing to have another child if her health allowed it? Antoine didn't realize how long silence had fallen between his teasing and when someone spoke next. Had she said something and he missed it? "I love you," he randomly uttered just above a whisper. "Wherever you wanna have her, is where we'll have her. ...Kira Triplett. Did you have a middle name in mind?"
He assumed the baby would take his last name. At the thought, Trip wondered if her mother would. He shelved the thought in an effort to cross one bridge at a time. Marriage seemed like the most natural thing in the world if they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together but it wasn't a prerequisite to having a child together. ...Even if his grandfather would've said otherwise.
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Their baby was healthy. Regardless of how long she was in the shadows keeping tabs on Trip, she made sure to take prenatal vitamins. She made sure to eat the right things, get enough sleep when she could, and then made the right appointments to make sure their child was fine. During those visits, she was vague about Trip, saying he was away and leaving it at that. The doctor's didn't need to to know anything else beyond that. Though, it did pain her to not have Trip there, robbing him of the experience, but now they were together he could join her. They still had a few more months before Kira was born.
Along with the baby's health, Sarah had herself slightly checked out. Everything on her looked normal, from breathing sounds to blood pressure. The only thing she refused to do was to do blood samples. No one needed to have sample's of her blood for HYDRA to find her. So by all accounts, Sarah was doing well and so was their child.
The silence that followed didn't feel heavy or awkward to Sarah. It was rather comfortable combined with his hand on her back, it would have put her back to sleep it if wasn't for the sudden and random utterance of three words.
"Not sure where we'll have her..or who'll be nearby." They needed someone in their corner, someone who knew how to deliver babies and keep their mother's alive. As for the name...well, she never gave much thought who's surname their child would take. Sarah wasn't picky so...Trip's name could do?
"Haven't gotten that far." So far she just had a first name, wasn't that good enough? She, herself, only had a first and surname and it suited her just fine. Though, if there was a reason why Trip wanted their child to have the same surname....that would be an interesting situation. The topic of marriage was one she still never entertained to the day. Marriage, along with being a mother, was for other women, not for her.
"I'm not just how we'll go about it, but...I want you there. I want you with me."
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He could tell the mother-to-be was not fully herself yet. Neither was he. They were getting there. Antoine was feeling the best he had in a very long time. His ministrations to her back and neck were almost as much a balm to him as they were to Sarah. It was intimate and familiar. He felt needed and wanted. She had become home to him. He was home again. There was more to his life than vengeance. He had purpose once more. More importantly, he had good in his life.
"She doesn't need a middle name. Neither of us have one. We turned out okay," he concluded softly with another kiss to er head. Sarah didn't need to move at all. Her body felt comfortably (dare he say, perfectly) nestled against him.
Sarah made a good point about giving birth. He didn't want to worry over the details just yet but they also were running short on time. Months would go by in a flash. Antoine preferred they have a plan should they somehow end up separated again. He hoped like hell that wouldn't happen but it was ingrained in him to make preparations. "I will be. All things willing. Nothing can keep me from being there.
Simmons can make sure everything seems normal with the pregnancy once you get a little closer to D-day. We'll have some explaining to do but I think your belly will explain most of it. If everything seems okay then we just have the baby between you and me. Unless you want a hospital setting. Not sure how Jemma'll feel about delivering a baby but I trust she'll know what she's doing. Or we go to a birthing center with false identities..."
It was the most he had spoken since reuniting with Sarah. There was some tiredness still hidden in parts of his speech but she could probably tell that he was coming around. His hand started a different pattern at her lower back, feeling some of the tension melting away from the area. They had yet to fully kiss but were on the way of reconnecting even if started on the path of their pending parenthood instead of their relationship with one another.
He would need to make a decision on his loyalty. Was there still a future with SHIELD or would he put the agency on a back burner for his family? Antoine knew Sarah was on borrowed time. It wasn't much of a choice to make. He refused to lose any more time with her. Coulson would understand that. His boss had his hand forced at losing a relationship for SHIELD. Maybe Trip assumed too much but it didn't make any difference. He was choosing love as his primary loyalty.
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"As much as it should be you and me, something could go wrong." Sarah was loathed to admit it, feeling it exposed a weakness in her eyes, but it was just that: a weakness. They weren't sure how her body would handle delivering a pregnancy. If that would some how speed up her expiration date.
"We need someone else who we both trust." And that list was incredibly short. There was no telling if Coulson and his team would even allow Trip to come back to her if he told them she was back in the picture. Hell, there was a strong chance of SHIELD throwing her in a prison and destroying the key. They had no reason to trust her. She already walked out once, they wouldn't believe she did it for Trip and their future.
"Where ever we have this baby, do not leave her alone," she whispered, biting down on her lower lip as she tried to quell her fears. She didn't want to go to a hospital where there were too many bodies to keep track of, especially if she was on drugs. Too many bodies with too many rooms for HYDRA to hide in the shadows and wait to steal their child, or kill her.
No, hospitals would have to be ruled out for the sake of her sanity.
Breathing out a soft sigh, Sarah turned her head to the side, leaning in so she could press her lips against his for a chaste kiss. The first kiss they've shared since reuniting. It felt right, it felt....it felt like she was finally home and whole again.
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"Sarah, I'm not leaving either of you again." Maybe it wasn't fair to say 'ever again' given his role in the universe. Antoine couldn't imagine leaving her or their daughter any time soon but whether he remained with SHIELD or became a police officer, every breathing moment wasn't going to realistically be with the two. His feelings were too raw and emotional to go into detail. They would eventually sort it out. He had every bit of confidence in that.
Coulson would have to kill him first before taking Sarah and their child into custody. There wasn't the slightest bit of traitor in Trip--in fact, his loyalty was the very reason for the resistance. If SHIELD couldn't recognize the sacrifices Sarah made under the circumstances then they weren't the agency Antoine thought them to be. The agency his grandfather had founded wasn't one to tear families apart. That wasn't the legacy left to him.
"I love you," he whispered at her lips. The kiss felt like charge his heart needed to beat steadily. No more thoughts of loss again. His world was whole. The man she knew would be forever different, hopefully Sarah would feel for the better. Or maybe she'd worry about some of the optimism lost in Trip. He was still shaken and questioning what he'd been through but only because of how devastating it had all been. His feelings for her hadn't changed at all. They only grew stronger.
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As for not leaving her side, she would do the same. Never again would she take off on him, hide and disappear, even if she thought it was for the best. No, she wouldn't want to be apart from him for so long. If she planned anything, she would involve him first. Though, she had to clarify what she meant. As much as she was happy to know he wouldn't leave her or their child, she had to explain what she meant.
"I meant, when the baby is born, don't leave her. Don't let her out of her sight, stay within arm's reach. I don't care what'll happen t'me, just make sure Kira is in your arms." That's what was most important, to make sure no one else would hold onto Kira any longer than they had to.
They would be in a very vulnerable time frame. As wonderful of a time of their child's birth would be, it would dangerous. This would be the time for HYDRA, or any other agency to try and steal their child or kill one or both of them. It only reaffirmed her choice in staying away from hospitals. There were too many variables there for them to control. They would need a special place for when she went into labor. God...she couldn't wait for that to happen.
"Promise me, Trip...please promise me that."
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There was still so much unknown about how the pregnancy would conclude or her health after. It would be a cruel fate to have Sarah back only to actually lose her. Trip had no guarantee that he wouldn't have to mourn her a second time. He'd bury his grief in raising their little girl. "Kira will never be out of sight, ever." His voice was reassuring even though he still had a number of concerns. They would have to pry their daughter out of his cold dead arms...but he'd keep that thought to himself.
His arms slid from the embrace around her torso back to one hand resting on her belly and the other at her back. "Have you eaten?" he softly asked, wanting to veer away from the topic of 'worst case scenario' for the moment. The feeling of loss was too fresh an open wound for him. Sarah being close was a balm as long as he didn't have to continue entertaining the idea of losing her again. Trip was uncertain of his role in her life now. He wanted to find some clarity there.
However, they could stand to get some breakfast first. Or maybe it was time for dinner? The day had gotten away from him, catching up on loss sleep over the past months. He also could do with a shower after sleeping on the couch for twelve hours or more. Yet he only looked tiredly at Sarah to see what her needs were.
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"Good..." she murmured, closing her eyes briefly to press a soft kiss to his forehead.
As for his question, she didn't need to eat. Well, maybe she should have some water to keep herself hydrated, but no, she wasn't hungry. Him on the other hand, he needed to take care of himself. A shower, food, and a chance to lay down on the bed. Maybe not in that order, but he needed to recover.
"I'm fine. You though..." there was a weak smile on her lips. "You look like shit." Before he could utter anything else, she pressed her forehead to his. "Let me make you somethin'. You can shower and I'll have a sandwich or pastry warmed up for you." A chance for her to take care of him. to make up for the lost time in Miami. though, if he refused, she wouldn't argue. She wasn't placing her needs first, right now she wanted to take care of him.
"Or if you're fearful of my cookin', there's the coffee shop two blocks down."
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She always had a nurturing side though she didn't seem to see it. This wasn't her first time offering to take care of him. Even before her reveal, Sarah had cooked and helped care for any injuries he suffered on an assignment. She had a few cuts to look after again now in addition to making him a meal. "When have I been fearful of your cooking, Woman? You know my mom even tried making me Bangers and Mash not too long ago?" The question was rhetorical.
He gave her a tired smirk while continuing on. "Her way of trying to make me remember good times." Antoine gave Sarah a soft peck on the lips then helped her stand. "I'll eat whatever you make," he concluded before having to talk about how he grieved over the past weeks. Once upright, he pulled off his shirt which revealed new scars since she saw him last along with fresh bruises. The cuts were on more exposed areas rather than the layers of shirts and jackets that he wore.
Trip slung the shirt over one shoulder before picking up his backpack to look for a fresh set of clothes. The first item out of the bag was the last item he packed from his quarters on the bus; a picture of them that took the place of the one he usually carried of him with his mother. There were other pictures in his laptop, tablet and phone but he always kept at least one hard copy. He was a traditionalist that way. The picture was set out on the coffee table while he continued digging in the bag.
After some ammunition, charges and tech were also set out--he finally got to his clothes. It was probably confusing for Sarah to understand the logic behind what he packed. Or maybe not. She couldn't blame him for preparing the way he did. He obviously didn't know what was going to happen when arriving to the hotel she told him about. Plan for the worst, hope for the best. The miracle was he could still manage to hope.
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Her weak smile turned into a softer one hearing what Trip's mum did for him. She wanted to whisper how sorry she was for leaving him, but the words never left her lips. There was nothing she could about what happened, only try to make up for it with the time they had together. She slowly got up and off of his lap, moving towards the kitchen. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him take his shirt off. Craning her head, she paused to look over the scars on his body. Guilt filled her then, knowing she was the reason why his body was damaged like that.
Swallowing her words, she moved to the kitchen to make Trip toast and eggs too. She rummaged around to find some mushrooms to add on top of the eggs. A simple breakfast would do him well. She didn't want to give him anything that might send his body into a short state of shock. Though she watched him from afar, she wasn't aware of what he was eating, or not. If he was working out and starving himself of carbs or sugars, giving either to him now might give him an upset stomach, or heartburn. So it was best if she stuck to something flavorful and simple.
In the midst of cooking she looked back to him again, noting the picture he had of them along with the ammunition and tech. He was preparing for an all out battle with her, something she could not blame him in the least. If anything, she would've carried twice as much just in case she thought back up wouldn't be too far away. Breathing out a soft sigh, she plated his breakfast, grabbed a napkin and utensils then went back to his side.
"I didn't burn the rye this time." Because she had actually paid attention to the temperatures on the toaster oven. Her eyes flickered to the photo of them, blinking back some wetness in her eyes.
"Didn't think you'd actually like that picture of us." Taken during one of the colder seasons where rain continued to fall. They looked happy then...granted, it was taken when she was still a HYDRA agent, but even she could see the love in her eyes then.
"You might want to get another frame." She moved to the bed, going through the files that were scattered around before taking out a picture he would want to keep. Sarah moved back to him, giving him the photo of her last ultrasound.
"That's what I was doin' yesterday. I was hopin' you'd come here so I could at least give you that."
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