filthydirtysock (
filthydirtysock) wrote in
bakerstreet2015-01-13 02:31 pm
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(no subject)
For kinks of pain: physical and emotional.
WARNING: Prompts will contain sexual and violent content and triggers. Click with caution!
THE PHYSICAL:
1 - Slapping. Bare-handed: including spanking, face-slapping.
2 - Flogging. With a leather flog, as soft or hard as you want.
3 - Breathplay. Cut off their oxygen.
4 - Beating (soft). Leaving bruises and marks.
5 - Waxplay. Feels like a burn, but isn't.
6 - Biting. Use your teeth.
7 - Gunplay. It might be the hurt, or the threat of it.
8 - Bloodplay (soft). Just a few cuts…
9 - Sexual exhaustion. Forcing them just a little too far, until it hurts more than it feels good.
10 - Suspension. Bind them so they can't (or can only barely) touch the ground, and wait for it to do its trick.
11 - Dubious consent. Don't know if they want it or not.
12 - OTHER.
THE EMOTIONAL:
1 - Loss. You've taken away something they care about deeply, perhaps destroyed it - or killed someone close to them.
2 - Rejection. All they want is you. Best to crush their feelings into the dust.
3 - Humiliation. Take away their pride.
4 - Punishment. They've done wrong. Time to let them know exactly how.
5 - Revenge. They've hurt you personally, and you want to hurt them back.
6 - Deception. Use the truth, or a lie, to make them hurt.
7 - OTHER.
THE HEAVY:
1 - Beating (hard). Draw blood, leave scars.
2 - Whipping. As hard as you want.
3 - Choking. The hard side of breathplay.
4 - Burning/Branding. Leave your marks.
5 - Fisting. The whole hand.
6 - Oversize Penetration. Double, triple, or just larger than they can take.
7 - Mutilation.
8 - Amputation.
9 - Vore.
10 - Guro.
11 - Non-con. They don't want it, but you'll force the issue.
12 - OTHER.
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Beyond that, Loki lets out an equally contented hum at the feeling of the fingers in his hair, letting both eyes fall closed for a moment longer. He's started keeping his hair short again - one thing Balthazar might have noticed is that how long he lets his hair get is actually a reasonably good indication of how bad Loki's mental state is. But after a moment, moving carefully so as not to shift the angel's hand, he pushes himself up on his elbows just enough to look the other man in the eye.] Mm. Hit me, cut me, speak to me. [Because Balthazar has proven quite thoroughly how much damage his words can do.] Take me apart [Loki has a very definite idea what he wants the end result to be, but not quite enough self-awareness to have any definite idea of how to get there.
With an apologetic sort of half-smile, he adds:] I'm afraid I'm not entirely certain what I'd like. I have far less experience in these matters than you seem to. [Not to mention a few hangups about sex in general. It's probably only to be expected, when possessed of Loki's corrosive self-loathing. Balthazar is the exception that's proven the rule, so far.]
I can tell you what I don't want, and you can work from there. [Even now, maybe even especially now, he trusts the angel that much.]
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He sort of regrets the reduction in the length of Loki's hair, but he has noticed the shorter it gets the more content his friend seems to be. So, well enough, and at any rate the outer layer, attractive as it is, is not the main thing that draws him to Loki. What that draw is, is something he's not quite able to put into words, but the past weeks have established it's more than shared suffering and similar brokenness.]
Speak to you, hm? That's probably where I need most to know what you don't want. [He meets the gaze, gently searching.] You know I'm capable of throwing tact to the winds. And you truly won't be able to defend yourself verbally with a gag on.
Which means we'll need signals, as well. I have ideas there.
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More gently, but just as seriously, he adds:] That's the point. [Loki is good at verbally defending himself. Maybe too good. He's started to wonder, especially after their last session, if he's even capable of not.
He's started to wonder if that's necessarily a good thing. It's unpleasant, hearing some of the things Balthazar can say to him. But sometimes it's unpleasant in the sense that bleeding out poison is unpleasant.] But if you have ideas, by all means share them. I'm listening.
[After a beat, he adds, in something of a rush:] Something else I forgot, by the way. No blindfolding. [Loki has definite hangups about the dark.]
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But you really can't take someone apart while being on best behavior.]
I can get a cricket-clicker on a band. You can press it for 'red'. I'll have your hands in front of you anyway, so I can see if you drop it or can't reach it to make it sound. But with you gagged, it all feels a bit riskier to me. I'll touch your hands periodically, I think, and ask you to squeeze back if you're all right, or try to push me away if you're not.
And pushing away will mean I'll ease off, but not stop altogether. Does that sound reasonable?
[Since the last time they tried this, things got very intense, quite abruptly. Some minor adjustments in their approach can't hurt.
His fingertips curl against the shorter locks at the back of Loki's neck.] I don't like the idea of a blindfold with a gag, anyway. I need your expressions for feedback when you're not talking. But I do understand. No blindfold. No darkness.
[He gives him what's meant to be a reassuring caress, changing the subject for comfort's sake.] On that note, do you have a preference for gag type? Some of them just look silly to me. I was thinking a panel or a simple bit.
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With the discussion apparently going well, Loki rests his head against Balthazar's chest once more, with a soft exhale of relief.] No blindfolds. No darkness. ["Thank you." He does understand.]
And you're right. Some of them look desperately ridiculous, in fact. Panel will be fine.
[After a cautious pause during which Loki thinks on what he's about to say next very carefully, he ventures:] You're free to ease off as well, of course. On your own initiative. If there comes a point where you honestly think you need to. [It's a slight step, acknowledging that Balthazar does have limits, does have points that he might be unable to cross without actively harming himself. But it's progress, perhaps.]
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He gives a lazy little stretch as Loki settles back against his chest, feeling rewarded.] Good. Panel it is.
[It's an item he doesn't possess, but the same shop where he purchased the whip last time ought to have something he can use. After breakfast, then.]
I'll...try to remember that. [He's not sure what his own limits will be, in point of fact. Loki is infinitely more important to him than anyone he's ever done this type of thing with before, and that means he'll be afraid of going too far and losing him.] As far as what to say to you...is there anything off limits?
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And then...he does. He thinks of a few things that really could break him irreparably even to hear, whether or not they were true, and the thought makes him tighten his fingers in Balthazar's shirt in a gesture that's almost needy. Turning his face a little against the angel's chest, Loki amends:] ...yes.
Don't... [He takes a breath, and it catches painfully in his throat for a moment.] Don't say you hate me, or you're leaving, or...that you regret any of this. Not even to get a rise. Don't even lie about it.
...and lie to me anyway, if it is. Please. [Ordinarily, he might be able to disregard and dissociate that far, but if the goal is to make him vulnerable...Loki isn't at all sure, but that's one risk he finds that he's not quite willing to take.]
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It's not that he doesn't know Loki genuinely cares for him, values his company, even loves him--they've said as much, after all. But somehow every time he comes out with something like this it shocks Balthazar, just a bit, but in the most pleasant of ways. He murmurs one of the Enochian endearments they've gotten so much mileage out of in the last few weeks, and gives him a little squeeze.]
I'm not going to lie to you about anything. I think...it's important that you know I'm speaking the truth when we do this, or at least the truth as I see it. So I won't be saying anything like that. No regrets, love always, and you're probably stuck with me until the stars themselves go cold, so no worries there.
I'm going to bring up things that will hurt. And I may very well give orders that damage your pride. But nothing like that. I promise.
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[It's a promise he believes, that Loki can't help but believe. No one's heart beats like this when they're lying. Not even his.
It's still a strange feeling, that a promise of the truth could actually mean he's spared something he fears. But Loki nods his understanding and acceptance, settling a little against Balthazar once more.] Good.
[The rest, he can accept. Work with. Deserve. Honestly, there's still more than a bit that Balthazar doesn't know about him or how he got to this point, mostly because it's a very long story. That might change very soon, of course, but for now...]
That's fine, otherwise. Or...fine for this, I suppose. And if not... [He shrugs, trying for casual, composed.] "Red". [Hopefully, it's as simple as that, for both of them.]
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We'll work it out as we go. [He sighs softly, promising.] But it might be wise to get some rest first. Do you expect to sleep tonight?
[That's a suggestion disguised as a question. Balthazar thinks he'll make the attempt himself, but he's more concerned about Loki, as whatever they end up doing will be harder on him physically.]
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Or it had worked, for a while. But this is...just that bit too nice to easily go back.]
Oh, I never expect to sleep. [He smiles, faintly playful, even though he doesn't lift his head or open his eyes again.] That way I can be pleasantly surprised when it does happen. [He knows that he should sleep, but it's something that it's always Loki's first instinct to avoid whenever possible.]
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Still, if you're comfortable where you are, don't feel in any rush to move on my account. [Whatever their fears--and however surprisingly mutual they seem to be--no one's going anywhere tonight. The angel feels warm and content and very not-alone. At that rate, it's easy to enjoy the moment and forget any apprehension he might have in the light of their proposed activities for the next day.]
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Whatever tomorrow might do to that state of mind remains to be seen. Maybe he'll be built back up even stronger than before, maybe it will just be a victory for him to be built back up at all.] Mm. Well, if you're offering.
[Either way, here and now, he can trust that they'll figure it out. So Loki lets his eyes close, lets himself focus on the gentle rise and fall of the angel's chest and go almost boneless at the fingers through his hair.
He doesn't even properly realize it when he goes from pleasantly drifting to deep asleep. Either way, morning will probably dawn quiet and thoughtful, before the experiment begins.]
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Offering, and requesting. You're comfortable. [And that's all he says for the rest of the night, still except for breathing, and stroking until Loki seems like he's well and truly out.
It's probably a good thing. They'll have this to fall back on if something goes wrong in the morning, which makes Balthazar feel a bit safer, too.
He's awake first, but sees no reason to stir until Loki does, at which point he kisses the top of his head and extracts himself gently to start the tea. Breakfast is deceptively casual, with the angel chatting absently as per his usual, and making every effort to stick Loki with the dishes.
When it's done, he slips into the living room to clear furniture. Between angelic strength and telekinesis, it doesn't take long to make a space on the rug as large as the circle they used before.]
We're fortunate, I think, that we can clear our schedules to make a day of this kind of thing. I'm sure people who work for a living can't do that.
[He stares at the space for a moment, as if lost in thought, then takes a breath.] Right. I'm out for about an hour. Clear your head, and I'll clear mine. And we'll do this.
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Oh, I don't know. I'm sure we could find the time. Just a matter of getting creative.
[Loki stares at the space, too, though he's watching Balthazar out of the corner of his eye. When the angel moves at last, Loki actually starts slightly in surprise, before he takes a steadying breath as well.]
And then we will.
See you in an hour.
[Fortunately, when given time and space, Loki is actually very good at clearing his head. It helps that he's had literal centuries of practice at a variety of different techniques for meditation. He settles himself down in the center of that space, legs crossed in front of him, hands resting on his knees, and just...breaths, taking care to imagine exhaling all his worries and doubts on every exhale. Frigga would have been pleased.
He still misses her so much it hurts, sometimes. But either way, that's where Balthazar will find him on returning. Loki only opens his eyes when the sound of fluttering wings dies away, tilting his head to regard the angel. He asks almost mildly:] Clothes on or off?
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He pauses to window shop at a candy store, studying the display of twists of strawberry licorice, dark chocolate, rainbow rock candy. As an afterthought he breezes in and buys hard candy with honey in the center, apropos of nothing in particular, eats one, and then returns, landing in the living room and setting the candy box on the shelf.]
Hello to you too. [He smiles gently, and sets the larger bag on the coffee table.] Off, without question. Take your time, I have things to set out.
[And with that, he begins removing and unwrapping the contents of the bag: hempen rope in black and scarlet, a faux-brass clicker on an elastic cord, a small knife that appears to be for the purpose of cutting rope or tape rather than slicing flesh, and a row of paraffin candles in white, black, pale green, and deep blue.
The last item to be removed is the gag, and he tears the package open to inspect it thoroughly for rough edges and other potential hazards. It's black, with small decorative buckles on the left side, and by far the most expensive item he's brought.]
I want to try this on you before I tie you, since I'm not particularly enchanted with the idea of suffocating you, and the bands will need adjustment. Sit on the edge of the chair for the moment. [It's a casual order; he's not precisely in character yet, testing the waters in preparation for easing into the scene.]
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He does take his time, but mostly for the sake of watching from the corner of his eye as Balthazar unpacks, mentally noting everything that gets set out. Most of it's expected, only what they agreed on before. Good. The candy box is not expected, but Loki thinks he recognizes it for what it is, and so only smiles in faint amusement.
Once he's finished stripping down, Loki folds up his clothes to set them on the shelf beside the candy box for safekeeping. Then he finds his attention definitely grabbed by the sight of the gag. Just on sight, he can tell it's the most expensive new toy of the bunch. That thought is...strangely flattering, all things considered.]
An outcome I would prefer to avoid as well. Your consideration is appreciated. [So Loki sits, waiting obediently for the gag to be tested. It's a halfhearted order, but he has no doubt that things are only going to get more intense from here. Testing the waters is...probably safest, after last time.]
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[He holds the item up so Loki can get a good look at first the outside, then the inside. The edges are all finished, and the quality most certainly does show; Balthazar was going for broke on the aesthetics. Inside, the lining is smooth, and there is a small ball.] They don't appear to make them without the rubber balls on the inside, but I chose the smallest.
You might want something to bite down on, anyway, at some point. [His voice drops lower as he makes that comment, a deliberately darker tone.] At any rate, rest assured I chose the best I could find.
[He leans in and kisses his forehead.] Now. This is just to adjust the straps, then I'll take it back off and we can take stock before we truly begin.
[Cradling Loki's chin gently in one hand, he faces the interior of the gag toward him.] Open, and bite down gently on the rubber.
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And then something in Balthazar's tone makes Loki sit up a little straighter, a little shiver that's neither pleasant nor entirely unpleasant racing down his spine. Somehow, the chaste kiss to his forehead is enough of a contrast to make that darkness seem all the sharper.
He meets Balthazar's gaze, one eyebrow raised, looking as though he's almost contemplating biting down too hard and seeing what happens. But when the gag is moved into place, Loki does as he's bidden, taking the rubber between his teeth and waiting while the straps are adjusted.]
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He raises both eyebrows at the look Loki gives him, a half-skeptical, half-challenging glance. Remember, you asked for this. But he says nothing aloud, clicking the straps closed at the nape of his neck and the back of his head, then tugging and fiddling with the adjustments. The end result is snug, enough pressure that no shake of his head will move the gag from its position flush against his skin.
The angel crouches, frowning a moment to make sure he can breathe through his nose, then backs off to get the overall picture--and beams.] Oh...yes, that's very pretty on you, indeed. Good.
[Pleased, he traces the straps against Loki's cheek for a moment, teasing, then summarily undoes the fastenings at the back.] Felt all right?
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Loki is perhaps the textbook example of a smart-assed masochist, so the gag is probably for the best. Balthazar doesn't need the sort of goading he could provide.
Still, Loki will allow the gag to be fastened and tested, and can't help the way his heart skips a beat at the soft "click" of the clasps. He realizes that the rubber ball helps truly silence him, keeps him from making any sound rather than just muffling.
Insidious, that.
He turns his head this way and that, tilts up and down, testing how it feels around his face. In the end, it's snug enough to be noticeable, but loose enough to let him get a little air in around the edges. He can breathe, but he can't speak.
When Balthazar first undoes the gag, Loki immediately goes to test his jaw - opening and closing his mouth, massaging his fingers over the bone. No real ache yet.
Good, and so he nods his agreement.] Well enough.
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For another, despite his outward confidence, he has a few fears and misgivings and the wrong word could shake him out of this altogether. After what their last attempt did for him, he'd feel bad if he failed Loki.
So the stakes do feel high, and he watches his lover test and feel out the sensations intently.] Good.
Very good. Let's begin.
[He turns away, and there's an audible rustle of his wings shifting as their posture changes. He's folding them tightly, lifting them high in much the way he would if he were addressing an angel he had command of. It seems to pull his vessel's spine a little straighter, making a subtle change in body language, and yet he's still easy and languid as he chooses a length of cord and unloops the end.] The ropes come first. The goal is not to cut off your circulation, so if anything goes numb, you are to let me know with the word 'red'. Once the gag is on, you'll have to use the clicker instead.
However, I don't expect that to happen because I have a fair bit of experience in this. [He smiles, then, and there's no loss of warmth in it. Instead, there's a sly superiority. He's powerful, and he's smug, and while Loki no doubt realizes by now that's a part of his everyday personality, it appears to be a much larger part of his persona for this experiment.]
On the floor, now. Kneel, spine straight, shoulders back, and hands at your sides. [It's almost a test, to see how much resistance he's going to have to fight through. He can certainly put Loki on the floor if he has to, and has no objection to trying, but if they can begin with some conservation of energy, so much the better.]
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It would be fascinating if it wasn't so distracting. As it is, the sight of even that subtle shift reaches into something deep at the back of Loki's mind and flips a switch. It's a part of him that was molded and made use of by others in the past, but something that has always, on some level, been there.
So there's already a note of almost-hunger underpinning his interest, as he watches Balthazar pace. Still, he frowns somewhat skeptically at the command.] Hands by my sides? [That seems a somewhat awkward position to be bound in, not to mention easier to get loose from.
But he does move to obey, to take up the position anyway, because not obeying at that point is borderline unthinkable.]
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Correct. [His smile widens, briefly. He's not going to explain himself, at least not yet; that's not what this interaction is about. Leaving that uncharacteristically terse reply as it is, he slides the rope through his hands.
It's not a very large cord, actually. About the diameter of an index finger, although partly the dark color may make it look narrower than it is. It's long, though, and he seems to be measuring it out as he smooths and tugs at it, eventually settling on a midpoint.
He moves closer to Loki, crouching in front of him, and hooks the curve over the back of his neck, as if the rope were simply a long scarf.] This will take a few minutes. Stay as still as you can, it will be good practice for later.
[His fingers move quickly, confidently, as he twists the rope into a stable knot halfway between Loki's throat and his sternum. From there, either end gets led across his shoulders, and the angel circles around, making a twist at his upper back.
From there, his actions get harder to follow, as he circles, wraps, knots, twists, and pulls the cord snug against his skin. It's tight enough that Loki will feel the pressure, and there's a significant chance of rope burns if he strains or struggles, but Balthazar wasn't lying about having done this before.
By the time he's come to the end of the black rope, several multi-stranded bands criss-cross Loki's torso, leaving large triangular spaces open on his chest and stomach and back, but effectively pressing his arms to his sides, all the way down to his hips.
Balthazar inches back to look him over, frowning thoughtfully.] I need space, you see. You wouldn't feel a thing if I just dropped wax on the ropes, obviously, and I don't want your bound hands in the way, either.
[Rising, he fetches a second cord, this one a bright red.] I think I'll put you on your back to start with. I want to watch your expression. But let me make certain you're secure first.
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He watches Balthazar almost owlishly as his lover kneels down before him, his gaze darting only briefly from the rope to the other man's face and back again. But he bows his head just a bit to let the rope be hooked over the back of his neck, and his eyes fall half-closed in an almost meditative expression while the rope is tied. He gives up trying to follow the patterns very quickly. There's almost certainly no point. He's dimly aware of the pressure increasing, but really only tries to move when his hears Balthazar step back.
That's...pretty secure. He could of course break out if he really made the effort, but...Loki doesn't particularly want to make the effort. Not really. Having his hands bound at his side is particularly odd.
It takes him a second to realize that the other man is explaining, and then a second more for Loki to even remember what he'd asked. But of course, then he understands. Even through the ropes, being bound like this really is an extra layer of vulnerability. A man with his hands bound in front of him can still defend himself, in some small way. The fact that he probably won't need to is not important. The point has been made.
Fascinating.]
This isn't secure? [His tone is arch, but it's almost like his heart isn't in it. Loki is finding it increasingly difficult even to put up the pretense of mouthing off. He doesn't need to. This is...comfortable.]
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