bakerstreet | sexting

sexting

the sexting meme.

Probably the easiest meme ever. Post a blank with post with your character's name and universe. For the replier, the reply must be a dirty text to the poster's phone, or a picture of naughty parts. It can be on purpose ...or a mistyped number. ("Whoops, sorry I showed you my junk! ... But how was it?!") The original poster can reply to the text or ignore it. Have fun!

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Ah, of course, look at you, always so spontaneous. But I do appreciate the nightly check-ins. Nice to know I haven't been forgotten.

[Psssh, as if she'd ever let him.]

As part of the Haddock charm and flair, you should suspect spontaneous. I'd sooner forget my name than you. No mighty blow to my noggin could have me forgot you, not even one from your hand.

[Forgetful as he is on some things, he isn't forgetful about her. The extra word in helps though.]

I don't know, you've built up a pretty big sense of unpredictability. I can never expect what you might do next to sweep me off my feet.

[But no matter what, as dorky and odd as he can be, he's still a ridiculous romantic because it still warms her heart to hear stupid cheesy things like that.]

And I'm not sure if that says something about your strong memory or the fact that you're thinking my blows are weak.

For all you know, I'm at your window ready to sweep you off your feet.

[Course he's not, though Hiccup is liable to and it's been proven he will. Cheesy and sometimes hammy as his romantic gestures may come off, they're genuine acts of adoration. Laughter happens to come as a bonus.]

Your blows are so not weak. I can attest to that, they've left bruises you know. Okay, maybe those were different bruises, but the point stands you have strong arms and great abs.

Now that I know isn't true, otherwise I would've heard the annoying racket of a metal leg wobbling across the yard.

[Doesn't mean she won't double check just in case.]

And is that so? Please, do go on. Don't tell me the compliments stop at arms and abs.

Okay first, rude. Second, I could sneak up on you so easy. Cat feet. Cat foot and tight not wobbly metal leg.

[Now he has to urge to tighten parts just to make sure he's quiet when he does, and will, sneak up on her. On the other hand the chance of being on the receiving end of a love tap climbs dramatically when he spooks her.]

You've got fine legs, nice and firm. No skipping out of leg day, I can tell. Pretty sure you have nicer calves than me.

If that's the case, I'd really like to see you take up that challenge.

[But really, even if he tried, she'd probably responded with a couple of hits on instinct, so he should really choose wisely.]

And of course I have nicer calves than you. When was the last time you actually put forth an effort to work yours out?

Not to back down from a challenge, but I'm backing down. For fear of life and limb.

[Romantic surprises aren't ever going to happen, unless it's from afar or a present. Those he can do without worry.]

Lets see, every day? I have one good calf and the other is super firm. I do walk a lot after all.

You're really wimping out me already? I'm not gonna bite you, Hiccup. Not really.

[Okay, yes. She could be a biter sometimes.]

Fine, they're decent enough. But don't go slacking off on keeping your exercise up just because you're missing half of one. I like my boys tough and burly, you know. [No, she doesn't.]

I'm not afraid of getting bit much as getting decked out cold.

[He kinda looks forward to getting bit. Then biting back which he pays for dearly later, but it's worth it like leaving visible hickeys.]

I put my weight on that leg, so think I'm fine. Only the burliest and toughest boys. Not like you can throw me over your shoulder and carry me, oh no, I'm far too manly. [He's so on to her.]

I'm small and fragile. What harm could I possibly do to you?

[Shorter, maybe. This is probably the first time Astrid's ever even used the word fragile.]

Ever so mighty. Grip me with those strong arms and carry me over your shoulder. Nothing speaks passion like that grizzly strength.

What's this? A Hofferson calling themselves small and fragile? Blasphemy is afoot I say!

[He's pretty sure she's used it before in context of his feelings, but referring to herself? Never.]

Does it speak more than poetry? Appearing outside thy window in the cold? A bouquet of roses and a charming smile? Oh how foolish of me to skip out on my legs, my laziness is my folly.

[Whoops, he's doing it again.]

I -am- small and fragile. Anything else you say is absolute nonsense.

[A Hofferson can be sensitive too. Maybe. Sometimes.]

You and roses? Now I know you're cracking jokes.

Smaller than me yes, but you are not fragile.

[What mortal man could possibly compete with the demands she puts on her body? Not this one, but he tries and gets sore.]

I'd get you roses. If you wanted them. Do you like roses? I'm going to get you roses now, you wait and see.

Plenty fragile but not fragile enough for something like roses. Way too tacky. Try to be a little more creative, would you?

[It's like it's her job to make things all the more difficult for him.]

Would you like a song instead? I can belt out one with the best of them.

[What's love without some obstacles to over come?]

Oh gods! You singing. I guess getting a laugh is as good as anything.

[Hiccup is quite the masochist for dealing with her.]

My songs may incite laughter, but my lips and tongue are well capable of getting more and better.

[It's a two way street with his amazing puns and wild gestures.]

[Well, well, Hiccup, an interesting choice of words there from you.]

And what exactly can your lips and tongue do to impress me?

[He's a gifted poet with a silver tongue among mortal men, or sometimes he gets a shimmer of brilliance when he isn't tripping over his words.]

Oh plenty m'lady. Sweet nothings in your ear, kissing your lips and body, or making you sing.

Oh, you think your mouth can really do things to make me sing?

[Truth is, it's always had a way of being very persuasive, in many ways.]

I'm confident it can. It's attached to me and I'm more than capable of making you sing. Perhaps even a duet if you can tolerate my off tone singing lone enough.

[Negotiation and diplomacy go a long away and it's gotten further than fighting with his lanky body ever has.]

Hiccup, you and I singing together would be way too dangerous.

[Although a curious thought.]

That makes it exciting though!

[Funny thing, he may or may not be serious about singing now.]

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