bakerstreet | THE NAKED MAN MEME

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THE NAKED MAN MEME

Welcome to the NAKED MAN MEME.
Step one: Post with your character's name, series and preferences.
Step two: The poster is trying the NAKED MAN (ie. waiting naked in a crazy bid to get the other in bed) while the commenter is about to walk in. Or the other way round, if you want.
Step three: ????
Step four: Profit.

And remember kids, the Naked Man "works" 2 out of 3 times.

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[O-Oh.

Did he go into the wrong room again? Well, it was too late for him to do anything about it now.]

Ah, Celes... I -- This --

[A pause, as he fixes the sheets over himself.]

This is a surprise...

[What do you mean wrong room again? Do you do this often?]

[By the time he manages to fix the sheets, she has a hand to her forehead, blocking her view of anything.]

Just... what were you expecting to happen?

I-Isn't it obvious?

[Damn this place for having so many doors...]

I was hoping there was at least some reasonable explanation.

[She tapped her foot irritably on the floor, still not looking at him.]

If you were hoping that I'd walk in and, upon seeing you naked in my bed, rush over to join you...

[That...was the gist of it. But, to be fair, it could have been anyone, as long as she was female and over a certain age...]

My apologies. I...should have given prior notice.

[If such a thing exists.]

[This time she lowers her hand and gives him a look]

Telling me in advance certainly would have gotten this over with faster.

[Not in the way he'd hope, of course, but still, she could reject him while he still had pants on.]

[He...he thought maybe having his pants-off would provide incentive, turn things over in his favor.]

I'm terribly embarrassed...

[He doesn't know Celes all that well, does he?]

Well, at least you have the decency to be embarrassed. Now if you would be so kind as to get out of my room as soon as you can-

[Not as embarrassed as you're about to be. Before she can show Edgar the door, it opens again. Locke stops short upon spotting the extra occupant in the room. To his credit, he's too dumbfounded to overreact. Yet.]

Someone wanna fill me in, here?

[Bunching up the sheets around his waist, a red-faced Edgar rises from the bed and starts to waddle on out of the room.]

I will, Celes. I will. Next time, I'll give proper prior warning so I don't catch you off guard --

[In hindsight, maybe that wasn't the best verbiage, especially now that the door's opening again.]

[And then Locke's there and Edgar's undressed and Celes is in the room and the bed is all disarrayed. And...

Yeah, this looks bad.]

Locke.

It's not what it looks like. I -- I was waiting here, naked, and...

I mean.

[How to word himself, how to word himself...]

I was waiting. For someone else. Here. In Celes' room. And...

....

[He sighs and just offers Locke a long-suffering sigh.]

Admit it: this is not the worst situation we've wound up in.

[Sorry, Ed, were you talking? His hackles had gone up at "next time", but Locke stopped listening pretty much entirely at about tag number three up there. Edgar barely has time to finish before he storms up to him and swings for his jaw.]

He was just on his way ou-

[Well, she couldn't a word in before Locke decided to throw the first punch.]

[What the hell happened to her nice quiet relaxing night? Sorry Edgar, she's not coming to your aid just yet. Right now she's just standing back, with a hand against her forehead.]

Now, Locke, we didn't --

[WHUMP]

[One would think after so many years of encountering angry fathers, uncles, brothers, husbands, Edgar would learn to anticipate and successfully block a punch. Heaven knew he's got plenty of experience.

And yet... Locke connects solidly with his jaw, instantly reddening the skin and sending Edgar stumbling...]

WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, YOU MOTHER F---

[...stumbling and losing his balance. And when he tries to regain it, the sheet falls.]

[And down he goes. Locke would have grabbed him by the collar to get a bit more leverage but, y'know. Naked.]

[Language, Edgar. Any mollifying effect his excuses might have had loses a bit of impact from the loss of the calm tone, if not the namecalling. Might want to do something quick, before the Figaro family jewels are in danger.]

What'd you say?

[Okay, maybe she should intervene before attention is drawn to her room. The sooner this is over the sooner she can get some sleep.]

Locke, stop, you two are making a scene-

[Language? He just got clocked -- he barely knows which way is up and all he sees is red and you're worried about four-letter words?!]

... Locke.

[His voice is nasal and muffled, thanks to the hand he's holding against his face. He's got a right mind to stand and punch Locke back, but he's got more pressing matters to attend to: namely, covering himself back up with the sheets.]

We didn't do anything.

[Of course, though intent and action are two different things, Locke would've been pissed with either scenario, right?]

Ask your girlfriend.

[He growls his emphasis as he struggles to stand.]

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