sockfootage (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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bakerstreet2026-04-10 12:16 am
sockfootage) wrote in bakerstreet2026-04-10 12:16 am
Entry tags:
1. I’ve got an X-ray with a positive Throckmorton sign on it. Wanna see?
2. Why is there a dog in my kitchen?
3. No, I do not care to define the phrase “erotically seditious” for you.
4. Wait, you have me saved in your phone as The Unfun Dad?
5. Or bring your own!
2. Why is there a dog in my kitchen?
3. No, I do not care to define the phrase “erotically seditious” for you.
4. Wait, you have me saved in your phone as The Unfun Dad?
5. Or bring your own!
1. your fans are pretty upset. [ they disagreed with haesoo's interview of your character for one reason or twenty. ]
2. we aren't dating, and we aren't related.
3. don't you want your jacket back?
4. you owe me. [ he sends the pass-code to his apartment, something only one other person than haesoo has ever had. kind of a big deal tbh. not that he'll admit that. ]
5. i hate these industry parties. you know that. where the hell are you?
6. [ m/m 24+. ota gen and misfires. ]
1. I’m thinking of showing up at the park after work with a tub of vanilla ice cream and a couple two-liters of root beer, and seeing if anyone wants to do floats with me instead of beers.
2. I’d say the vibes were off tonight, but that implies they were ever on.
3. I’m living by NONBFNADAA this week.
4. Got the picture you sent me of those bruises on your throat. Are you bragging, asking for treatment options, or documenting signs of abuse?
5. Or text her yourself?
2. I’d say the vibes were off tonight, but that implies they were ever on.
3. I’m living by NONBFNADAA this week.
4. Got the picture you sent me of those bruises on your throat. Are you bragging, asking for treatment options, or documenting signs of abuse?
5. Or text her yourself?
If I wanted to brag I'd send pictures of something else.
The bruises I'm just looking for advice on how to bring the swelling down.
The bruises I'm just looking for advice on how to bring the swelling down.
1: It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring you and two of your best friends.
2: We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
3: I want you bad. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
4: As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
5: Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
2: We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
3: I want you bad. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
4: As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
5: Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
uh huh
i'm just gonna need to crack open a beer here and ask for more details on these "shenanigans"
because i am all ears, babe
i'm just gonna need to crack open a beer here and ask for more details on these "shenanigans"
because i am all ears, babe
1.) Ohmygod. Why does a can of biscuits open like that? Is life not scary enough??
2.) If I was a frog and you were a frog would you let me be a guest on your lily-pad? Y or N
3.) Just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labelled "emergency".
4.) I changed all my sheets, did the laundry, reorganized my wardrobe, AND I've made dinner. Praise me!
5.) He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
6.) Text her or wildcard
2.) If I was a frog and you were a frog would you let me be a guest on your lily-pad? Y or N
3.) Just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labelled "emergency".
4.) I changed all my sheets, did the laundry, reorganized my wardrobe, AND I've made dinner. Praise me!
5.) He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
6.) Text her or wildcard
How much have you been drinking? That was me. The worst part was, no one remembered me.
🤘 - Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
👎 - Apparently I'm a "fire hazard”??
✌️ - So, I got a mandoline slicer with a handle. You don’t have to worry about it, there’s no way I’m cutting myself on it.
🤌 - Yes, I did buy the Betty Crocker cake kit. Yes, I am going to use it.
And yes, you will fucking enjoy the ice cream dome cake I make for you.
🫰 - Text him!
👎 - Apparently I'm a "fire hazard”??
✌️ - So, I got a mandoline slicer with a handle. You don’t have to worry about it, there’s no way I’m cutting myself on it.
🤌 - Yes, I did buy the Betty Crocker cake kit. Yes, I am going to use it.
And yes, you will fucking enjoy the ice cream dome cake I make for you.
🫰 - Text him!
oh i won't worry about it
i have 911 on speed dial
under "i told you so"
i have 911 on speed dial
under "i told you so"
leon s(lang dictionary) kennedy | resident evil (requiem)
outbreaker
2026-04-10 04:21 am (UTC)(link)
1. if you hear screaming in the middle of the night, no you didn't. but if you do, bat got loose. call poison control pls.
2. you drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
3. i say we start a new tradition. i came up with it all by myself. it's called work out, lay out, black out.
4. guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them. normal or infected?
5. i just answered "if only i knew" for a test in criminology once. i got an a.
2. you drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
3. i say we start a new tradition. i came up with it all by myself. it's called work out, lay out, black out.
4. guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them. normal or infected?
5. i just answered "if only i knew" for a test in criminology once. i got an a.
1. We signed a marriage certificate? When...?
2. I haven't slept in a few days, so ask for advice at your own risk.
3. You probably shouldn't do that... but if you do take pictures.
4. Yes, you're a friend, first and foremost. But you're also a mistake I make when drunk.
5. [Text him!]
2. I haven't slept in a few days, so ask for advice at your own risk.
3. You probably shouldn't do that... but if you do take pictures.
4. Yes, you're a friend, first and foremost. But you're also a mistake I make when drunk.
5. [Text him!]
1.) I'm either having the world's slowest heart attack or I ate way too much garlic.
2.) Just threw up in a gas station parking lot in front of a father and son. Stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss.
3.) Caught my neighbours fucking against their window. Gave them a thumbs up for encouragement
4.) There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load.
5.) Text this mess
2.) Just threw up in a gas station parking lot in front of a father and son. Stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss.
3.) Caught my neighbours fucking against their window. Gave them a thumbs up for encouragement
4.) There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load.
5.) Text this mess
1. Why are there waffles in the knife drawer?
2. You walked downstairs - naked - saying you were dressed to impress.
3. Sorry for threatening you with a sword, I probably didn't mean it.
4. Sometimes I think I have too much self-esteem. And then I remember that I'm really fucking pretty.
5. On a scale of one to 'everyone dying', I say we aim for a seven.
6. Text her!
2. You walked downstairs - naked - saying you were dressed to impress.
3. Sorry for threatening you with a sword, I probably didn't mean it.
4. Sometimes I think I have too much self-esteem. And then I remember that I'm really fucking pretty.
5. On a scale of one to 'everyone dying', I say we aim for a seven.
6. Text her!
1. When I've copied something and haven't pasted it yet, I can feel it in my body.
2. Was out of reception range for a while. All I got from your message was something about "lost dignity"?
3. The last thing I have from you is 'This dick is FDA approved'.
4. How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
5. Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up.
6. Why is your signature on my underwear?
7. You were very insistent that I let you attempt to put a baby in me.
2. Was out of reception range for a while. All I got from your message was something about "lost dignity"?
3. The last thing I have from you is 'This dick is FDA approved'.
4. How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
5. Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up.
6. Why is your signature on my underwear?
7. You were very insistent that I let you attempt to put a baby in me.
1.) Would be nice if you could hit pause on life and go take a nap without consequences.
2.) Today is a cake and whiskey at 3am sort of day.
3.) I'd rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now, if I'm honest.
4.) So on a scale of 1 to 10 how worried should I be?
5.) Text her
2.) Today is a cake and whiskey at 3am sort of day.
3.) I'd rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now, if I'm honest.
4.) So on a scale of 1 to 10 how worried should I be?
5.) Text her
Then at least sleep it off somewhere safe so I can check on you after my shift.
1. I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station.
2. Never wearing a uniform to a wedding again. I cockblocked a whole room just by existing and I just want people to stop ASKING.
3. He kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs.
4. Only told me there might be a gas leak after I lit a cigarette. Windows are open now.
5. All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
2. Never wearing a uniform to a wedding again. I cockblocked a whole room just by existing and I just want people to stop ASKING.
3. He kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs.
4. Only told me there might be a gas leak after I lit a cigarette. Windows are open now.
5. All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
1: Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
2: some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
3: Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
4: I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advice.
5: You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
2: some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
3: Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
4: I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advice.
5: You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
01. i don't like "till death to us part" cause why would death part us?? you are mine in death and every life after this
02. its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate
03. a boyfriend is basically a guy you can just kind of bite or chew or whatever
04. i filled the almost empty bottle of chocolate syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle
05. i swear... this hickey is like a map to the lost city of atlantis
02. its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate
03. a boyfriend is basically a guy you can just kind of bite or chew or whatever
04. i filled the almost empty bottle of chocolate syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle
05. i swear... this hickey is like a map to the lost city of atlantis
1. I just want to preface this by saying nothing happened. Nothing is on fire. ...Where would I find a fire extinguisher?
2. I was just thinking, maybe we could cuddle and watch something on TV?
3. He said my breasts made him believe in love at first sight. I can't help the blind rage that followed.
4. Some days the plan is to be the best version of myself, and to give back to the beautiful world we live in. And some days I just want to survive.
5. I'm going to need your assistance. Somehow I ended up in a fairy costume.
6. Text her!
2. I was just thinking, maybe we could cuddle and watch something on TV?
3. He said my breasts made him believe in love at first sight. I can't help the blind rage that followed.
4. Some days the plan is to be the best version of myself, and to give back to the beautiful world we live in. And some days I just want to survive.
5. I'm going to need your assistance. Somehow I ended up in a fairy costume.
6. Text her!
1. you like it when I nag, admit it...
2. I once ate box ramen for a month, whatever you bring will be fine.
3. it's never supposed to be that color, no. nope.
4. can you just check if I left them there? I can find them and I can't afford to replace them!
5. are you okay? I didn't see you leave.
6. Text him!
Been there. Tell me that wasn't recently? Or at least that you've been able to add an egg or some spam to your ramen?
1. well i DIDN'T die so technically i won!
2. gonna be stuck here for longer than i thought. sorry...i'll make it up to you? [ on some kind of risky task, probably trying to preemptively protect someone ]
3. what do you mean where have i been? where have YOU been???
4. i have a normal headache. not a hangover headache. [ it's not a normal headache at all. it's from overusing his ESP but whatever! ]
5. YOU stay in the hospital. STAY.
6. [ text your own! misfires are good. assumed cr, aus, all ok. m/m 20+ for shipping. ]
2. gonna be stuck here for longer than i thought. sorry...i'll make it up to you? [ on some kind of risky task, probably trying to preemptively protect someone ]
3. what do you mean where have i been? where have YOU been???
4. i have a normal headache. not a hangover headache. [ it's not a normal headache at all. it's from overusing his ESP but whatever! ]
5. YOU stay in the hospital. STAY.
6. [ text your own! misfires are good. assumed cr, aus, all ok. m/m 20+ for shipping. ]
1. Someone told me I have an ass that could kill small children. I don't know how to take that one.
2. You obviously don't comprehend the level of insane I operate at.
3. At least life still wants to fuck me.
4. I dislike the idea of anyone threatening my brother, mostly because I do it so much better myself.
5. Practicing my magic with alcohol. I'm like a witchy mixologist.
6. Text her!
2. You obviously don't comprehend the level of insane I operate at.
3. At least life still wants to fuck me.
4. I dislike the idea of anyone threatening my brother, mostly because I do it so much better myself.
5. Practicing my magic with alcohol. I'm like a witchy mixologist.
6. Text her!
1. It has now been 10 days since I last saw your penis 😢
2. Eating hibachi. Chef is squirting sake into my mouth with ketchup bottle. Reminds me of you.
3. The alcohol tastes like we did beer run at nail salon.
4. Right, but I would rather not waste whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex.
5. He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerking off" look.
6. If you feel frisky later I have cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
7. Do I give off "I have a sex tape" vibe?
2. Eating hibachi. Chef is squirting sake into my mouth with ketchup bottle. Reminds me of you.
3. The alcohol tastes like we did beer run at nail salon.
4. Right, but I would rather not waste whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex.
5. He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerking off" look.
6. If you feel frisky later I have cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
7. Do I give off "I have a sex tape" vibe?
001. This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic."
002. You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed, so I slept on the couch.
003. I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.
004. At least whatever is wrong with me is funny.
005. Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the garden this morning?
002. You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed, so I slept on the couch.
003. I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.
004. At least whatever is wrong with me is funny.
005. Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the garden this morning?
1: You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
2: I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
3: And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
4: .....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
5: Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
2: I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
3: And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
4: .....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
5: Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
001. I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food...
002. "i love your voice" is a top tier compliment
003. i won't be sarcastic.... just naked
004. aren't u supposed to be asleep
005. I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
phantom can't come to the phone right now, but if you wanna tell papa all about your grindr quest for food, i'll ooh and aah in all the right spots.
alternately, i can venmo you some cash for delivery. can't have phantom's human starving, now can we?
alternately, i can venmo you some cash for delivery. can't have phantom's human starving, now can we?
01. If I survived the virus, I think I can survive a hangover okay, but I appreciate your concern.
02. It turns out that getting high and watching old wrestling pay-per-views is a wonderful way to spend a Friday.
03. No, no, you're the one who sent me that picture asking how your legs looked, I'm not just going to let you off the hook on that.
04. [ misfires, crosscanon, etc. okay. still voice testing so bare with me. ]
You know, I'm pretty sure your drinking has done more damage to your liver than the T virus ever could. It's both scary and impressive.
( a. ) His oral game may have been lacking but at least his air hockey was on point.
( b. ) Did that shoe you found also happen to have a foot in it?
( c. ) I just had to pump two stomachs in a row, please don't go for strike three.
( d. ) I'm going to need an explanation about why I walked into my house to find you asleep on my couch.
( e. ) wildcard; text him.
You gave me a spare key years ago. Was I not supposed to use it ever?
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