Your love for me is poison

TABOO meme

Most societies have certain mores that are unspoken rules; humanity itself even has such conventions, grilled subconsciously into our minds for our own safety. Don't go out alone at night. Avoid getting wet when it's cold. Don't pick fights with those stronger than you...okay, some of us missed the boat on the last one, but the point still stands. Society's rules tend to be more variable, though they apply to most aspects of life - including sex. In fact, bending the rules on what's considered acceptable in romance and sexual encounters can lead to anything from ostracization to death, depending on the time and culture.

So, play it close to the chest if you're going to do a big, big, big t a b o o. Is it worth the risk?

How to Play

- Comment with your character and preferences. Be sure to include what you want and what you DON'T WANT. Blank comments are fine; info is even better!
- Reply to others.
- Be fun and respect others, as this will deal with some heavy topics and potentially triggering material s.

Prompts

A G E ( DIFFERENCE ) - light of my life, fire of my loins. you're supposed to stick to those your own age, but you can't resist.
I N C E S T - you're of the same blood, yet something draws you together. you'll keep your secret thicker than water.
C H E A T I N G - when you were young, they should have taught you to not take things that belong to other people.
I N ( PUBLIC ) - to involve unsuspecting others in your sex is insidious, but you can't resist it.
S U P E R F L U O U S - some conservative societies view sex outside procreational purposes as taboo. that means anal, oral, and toys are all no-go.
F I X A T I O N - you're nearly obsessed with one part of your partner - breasts, ass, lips...whatever the case may be, you always focus on that.
D E V I A N C Y ( IN SUBURBIA ) - there are some things that should be sacred. the home should be one of those. should.
S I Z E - pick on someone your own size. couples with large size difference, be it height or weight, can be looked down upon; don't let that get you down.
P H O B I A - unfortunately, in some societies, being with someone of the same gender is a taboo, no matter how much progress the modern world has made.
F E T I S H - some just can't get off without their fetish, and the varieties run the gamut: feet, crossdressing, autoerotic asphyxiation, foodplay, bondage...it goes on and on.
U N E X P E C T E D ( DOMINATION/SUBMISSION ) - the masculine must be dominant. the feminine must be submissive. what if you're dominant in life, though, and just want to be submissive in the bedroom.
V I O L E N T - more than mere lover's spats, what goes on between you two is dangerous. if people knew, they'd be horrified. still, you can't stop.
F O R B I D D E N ( LOVE ) - your relationship may be taboo, but there's genuine love in your copulation. this isn't merely a thrill.
L O O S E - monogamy isn't what you're after. no matter how looked down upon it is, you're going to have fun while you can.
S T U D E N T / T E A C H E R - what goes on between the sheets is not an appropriate subject matter to teach. there's so much to lose; is it a smart game to play?
A U T H O R I T Y - perhaps they're the boss, the president, the king, but you, you're a lowly peon. are they using their powers over you or is this something you both want?
I N T E R S P E C I E S - kind finds kind, and don't you be a traitor by being with one of them.
B E S T I A L I T Y - one of the most primal taboos. will you go into that moral wilderness?
S O C I A L ( CLASS ) - the rich. the poor. it's like they're in two different worlds. what will the uppercrust say if they saw their golden child with a tramp?
C E L I B A C Y - you are supposed to keep your chastity, but things are never that easy.
S T O C K H O L M - prisoners should never fall for their guards.
D U T I E S - whether it be saving the world or being the world's best bodyguard, your sworn quest and purpose keeps you from enjoying the sins of the flesh - especially with your charges.
I N N O C E N C E - one of you is much more worldly, and to ruin the "innocence" of the other feels unclean.
F E R T I L E - you aren't supposed to find mothers or fathers sexually alluring. however, there's something so enticing about fertility...perhaps even pregnancy.
C O R R U P T I O N - society expects you to treat your partner well, not try to destroy them through sexual degradation.
N O N C O N S E N S U A L - consent is rightfully important to a healthy sexual relationship. to break that trust is taboo.

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"Maybe I just don't want anyone else seeing what's mine," Rumlow says quietly. The affection would startle him too, if he hadn't already done something like that a hundred times. Never mind that it feels different right now. That he did it for a completely different reason.

Absolutely never mind that.

Rumlow's eyebrow raises just the slightest when James gives him the gentle shove. "Yeah, yeah, alright. I'll be right back." And then Rumlow leaves, headed over behind the two way mirror on the other side of the med bay to join the doctors who are watching, taking notes.

"You've got some kinda super soldier cocktail for the pain, right? I want it to be given to him. I'll be taking some with me too." Rumlow barks at the doctors, eyes going dark as he watches the Soldier. He's completely still now. Completely blank. It's fucking creepy, considering everything he just witnessed. HYDRA really does know exactly what they're doing.

A small woman comes over to him with a bag- Rumlow takes it from her without even looking at her. He only looks at the doctor when he approaches.

"You have everything you need in case of an emergency malfunction. Do not hesitate to use it."

"Believe me, I won't. I'll report back when scheduled." He has everything he needs now. Everything but his Soldier. A tech heads inside, looking nervous as he injects the Soldier with a cocktail of something for the pain. They didn't develop it for the Soldier, no. But they might as well use it now.

Once he scurries out, Rumlow heads back in, holding the back of clothes out for James, who becomes completely animated again. Creepy. "Here. Get dressed."

James doesn't register the other man leaving. Next thing he knows, there's the familiar scuff of his combat boots and Rumlow's back with some clothes stuffed in a bag. Reaching up to idly rub at a spot on his neck that's tingling and slightly itchy right where the tech had pushed his head to the side, jammed a needle into his skin, and injected a painkiller, James takes the bag. For a second he glances around, brow furrowed, as if checking if they've got any mosquitos buzzing around the room. Could've sworn he got bit...?

Not seeing any, James' fingers brushes against Rumlow's as he flashes a grateful grin. "Thanks."

He doesn't seem to be aware of the suspiciously big "mirror" set in one of the room's walls. Absurdly enough, he actually faces away from Rumlow as if he suddenly doesn't want to show him all the goods just yet. Instead of flashing Rumlow with a full frontal of his junk, James ends up doing it to the whole medical team hidden behind the mirror, his body writhing as he struggles to get dressed one-handed. It takes awhile, his ass flexing when he has to shimmy into boxers and jeans that are just tight enough that he has to wonder if Rumlow picked them on purpose. With pants on and a oversized t-shirt hanging loose over his frame, he's almost good to go, except...

Well, shit.

A glance down at his socks, then at his shoes, and James can feel his face warming with embarrassment as the next logistics problem suddenly crops up. He really, really didn't want to ask this when Rumlow's already helped so much, but -

"Hey, um...could you help with my shoes?" James' voice sounds small, tight; humiliated in a way he's never sounded before around Rumlow even when he'd fucked him in public around the base. "Don't know how to tie it one-handed yet."

Jesus, he can't believe he has to ask this like he's some goddamn kid. If Rumlow decides he's babied him enough, then he'll make an attempt himself, but they'd get out of this depressing room faster if he helps.

Edited 2025-07-03 23:33 (UTC)

Rumlow very nearly snorts when James turns to give the whole galley the best view. Not that it matters. They're busy and uninterested. Rumlow really is the only one who wants to watch this show over and over again.

He's pretty sure he likes his Soldier fully naked instead, but the clothes fit nicely and James looks good. He looks so normal in this moment, it's striking.

Rumlow is already heading over there when James asks for help, and he motions to the chair he was occupying not long ago. "Sit." He commands, then waits for James to do so before he gets down on one knee and slides one boot on, resting it on his knee as he starts lacing it up. He looks at James while he does so, lips pressed into a thin line. "Don't know what you're so embarrassed about. I take care of you, remember?"

He wants to see how that lands, watching James's expression as he gets to work on the other boot now.

"Not all the time," he grumbles. "Maybe I'd like to take care of you for a change."

Leaning back in the plastic chair, James pulls a face that's half touched, half annoyed. Not sure what to do with his hand now that he can't cross his arms over his chest, seeing as you kinda need two, he settles for gripping the chair's armrest and gazing down at Rumlow. The older man's lacing up his boots quickly, efficiently, and suddenly he finds himself jealous of something as basic as being able to tie shoes unassisted. It's not forever, he reminds himself. They're working on a new arm for you and once you get that...

He waits until Rumlow finishes up on the other boot. "You're not my babysitter and I didn't sign up to be dead weight. Okay?"

Rumlow's done so much for him already. It's nice and he appreciates it. But it feels like he's taking and taking and not giving back and with his injury...he just wants to show Rumlow he'll be okay. That he won't have to keep tying his shoes or fishing him out of the hospital like he's checking out a book from the library. Guilt radiates out from James as he bites his lower lip for a second, mouth twisting with displeasure.

Rumlow's eyebrow shoots up very high at the grumbliness. Well that's definitely new. It's a shift in personality that Rumlow's unsure about- then again, the Soldier has never had any kind of personality before.

On the one hand it's irritating. On the other, James' thoughts are still on him. On wanting to take care of him. "Don't worry, there are plenty of ways you can take care of me later." If James is so desperate for it.

There's more grumbling and Rumlow meets that pulled face with a look of his own. "I don't know where this sassiness is coming from, but it's pissing me off. Now, you gonna be a little shit the whole time, or are you gonna let me do what I came here to do?" A little harsh? Maybe, but this is Rumlow, and this whole guilt thing isn't gonna work for him if they're gonna keep this up.

"I'm here with you cause I wanna be. But I could always head back if you'd rather have that."

Edited 2025-07-04 00:37 (UTC)

The expression on James' face transforms into open shock - for a brief split second, there's even that old animal fear mirroring the look he had when Rumlow threatened to leave him to get fucked by the whole base - and then it evolves into embarrassment. Shame.

"N-no!" James blurts. Panicked, he jerks forward in his seat, his hand gripped tight against the armrest. "I mean, stay. Please?"

He doesn't know why he's surprised Rumlow immediately calls him out on his shit.

Even with the deep cover programming, the way Rumlow displays his displeasure - how much, the hard tone of his voice as a handler - has a way of tugging deep at the Asset's inherent need to comply. Maybe his obedience translates differently in that "James" sometimes talks back, thinks he's speaking his mind when the reality is he has none, but when push comes to shove he'll always fold before his handler. As expected, James looks like he's shitting bricks at the very idea Rumlow could get pissed off enough to bail...and it'd all be because he couldn't keep it together in front of him.

Swallowing, heart hammering in his chest, James shakes his head and reaches out to lay his hand on Rumlow's where it'd stilled against his ankle. "Sorry. Promise I'll cool it with the pity party."

There's this primal panic that runs through James, that even in his annoyance, Rumlow is delighted to see. This is more like what he's used to seeing. Obedience and fear, he can get behind. Everything else.... it's still new to him.

Thing is, he doesn't have to get used to it, he tells himself. He's in control here. He can still get James to do what he wants. Right now it's to stop the guilt spiral and the pity party.

His gaze slides down to James' hand placed on his own. He hesitates, just staring at it for a long moment, then turns his hand and curls his finger's around James's. "Good. We don't need any'a that, right? We're both right where we wanna be."

He even goes so far as to squeeze the other man's hand before letting go and continues to finish tying up his boots, then pats his leg. "Alright. Let's get the hell outta here.

Relief comes in waves as soon as Rumlow accepts his hand, threading fingers through his. An invisible weight lifts off James' remaining shoulder. He offers a smile he hopes doesn't look too hesitant, doesn't look too weeping wallflower who got all shy all of a sudden because he'd just told Rumlow he'd do better for him and he meant it, really. Squeezing back, he nods.

Rumlow moves onto the next order of business and he figures that's his cue to do the same. There's no personal belongings to grab and for a second, maybe, he might even think that's a little weird he's got nothing he needs to grab to take with him. But then Rumlow's already moving out the door and James has to hurry to catch up to the other man, taking several long strides until he can fall into place to his side and a step just behind.

"So where're we going?" It's one of those innocent questions that, typically, the Winter Soldier's never thought to ask. He'd know only if he was told, and only the bare minimum of details for a mission. But James is capable of being curious and he's wondering how private it'll be, when he can get Rumlow to himself or if he'll be forced to wait on "thanking" him properly. "Is it just you on leave or is it the rest of STRIKE too?"

He's really hoping it's the former. Otherwise he's gonna have to share Rumlow with the rest of the team and that probably means drinks and shitty bar food and Rumlow getting caught up in work gossip with the other STRIKE members.

Edited 2025-07-04 08:00 (UTC)

Rumlow moves forward after that, trying not to think too hard about anything else. He knows James will follow. He better, or there'll be hell to pay- but he trusts that things will run smoothly. Maybe he trusts in this damaged Soldier a little too much, and... isn't that something.

The questions are new- different. They annoy Rumlow for a moment or two, but he gets his head in the game. This is his job, his mission just as much as it is the Asset's mission. Difference is, he's the one in control here. He isn't going to be beat down if it doesn't go well.

He wants his Soldier to perform optimally, though. It's important to him.

"It's just me on leave." Rumlow leads him out of the facility for the first time in a long time. This is it. This is the moment where the Soldier is back in the real world, in a way. Will he fall into line, or will he fall apart? "I've got a place here now. Figured it would be better if I could stay with you while on leave." Hopefully that'll feed nicely into James being wanted. Being important enough for Rumlow to want to stay here.

Thing is--- he does.

Walking out the front doors like a person, the first thing James does is wince. A pained hiss, soft, almost inaudible, gets sucked through his teeth. The mid-day sun's bright, stabbing right into his eyes like he's got a bad hangover and while he doesn't miss a stride and fall behind Rumlow, he's forced to squint and raise his hand to shade his throbbing eyes. It takes a few seconds to get used to the sunlight, eyes still narrowed, before he can register the crisp blue of the sky, the soft, cottony white of the clouds drifting lazily in the distance.

But what Rumlow says next makes him forget all about startling blue sky.

"That's..." James eats it hook, line and sinker. He'd been hoping to get just a few hours with Rumlow. But the news he's crashing at his place? The idea that he wants to make sure he's doing okay, healing up where he can monitor him...personally? Now he's glad he's a little behind Rumlow so he can't see him blushing again. "Sounds like a plan to me." Don't sound too excited or he'll think you're desperate to get even more spoiled. "We walking or driving?"

He's unaware both would be novel experiences: driving in a vehicle that doesn't have blacked out windows (or no windows), and walking just for walking, able to look around at everything and enjoy the view? He's only a few feet from the facility's entrance and already James is looking around like a wide-eyed tourist, taking in the hedges, a family off in the distance with a balloon and a leashed dog, lingering on a cafe as if he's almost remembering what coffee tastes like.

If he spots the guards stationed here and there, James seems to glaze over them as if they don't exist. Part of his programming, really, to be blind to the security details around the perimeters, armed in case he pulls a runner on Rumlow. It says a lot about Rumlow's hold on his mind, his subconscious, that the Soldier doesn't try to escape as soon as he gets his first real breath of fresh air in who knows how long.

Edited (typos/changed wording) 2025-07-04 14:35 (UTC)

Maybe it has been a while since the Soldier was out. He's been in cryo for a while now, before they defrosted him for this mission. Rumlow wasn't counting the days. Not in the least.

He almost pulls his sunglasses out to hand to James, but- he sure as fuck isn't gonna baby him, or spoil him. That's not what he's here for, and he's gotta learn to figure his own shit out.

"Driving. I've got my truck parked around back. Pull your hood up." Maybe they should've given James a haircut. Make him look a little less recognizable. The guy looks so different without his gear or his arm though, that it likely won't be a problem. But still. Best to be on the ball.

He leads them to the garage behind the facility, pulling his keys out as they approach. His eyes are on James the whole time, unwavering. It's like watching a kid in a candy shop, taking it all in for the first time. It leaves Rumlow feeling a little uneasy, but he shoves that feeling far down and opens the door for James to get in. "Place ain't too far from here. Get in."

Without thinking, he pulls up the hood of the jacket Rumlow handed him earlier. Maybe it isn't as good as sunglasses but it he has to admit it does block out the worst of the sun's glare and his eyes aren't watering anymore, so there's that.

Rumlow, as always, is right.

Following Rumlow to the parking garage, he's aware the man's looking at him. Maybe making sure he's actually good to travel, which, James would like to point out, he clearly is because he was able to walk out the door without collapsing and the pain from his missing arm's faded, so there's really no need to watch him like a hawk. James walks right past the parking garage's guards flanking its entrance, each one armed with assault rifles and sedatives specifically designed to drop him, and he doesn't even flick a glance at their body armor or weapons. They might as be as relevant as the concrete pillars or the elevator.

He flashes Rumlow a surprised grin when he holds the truck's door for him like he can't do it himself - how...chivalrous? - and then he slides into the passenger's seat, reaching up to get the seatbelt and strap himself in.

James doesn't hide the fact he's gazing out the window as Rumlow pulls the truck out of the parking garage. Signs of stores and restaurants flash past. A park with a pond and a birthday party taking up the outdoors tables. There's a black car following them but like the guards, he's been programmed not to register the backup contingency keeping an eye on them. To James, it's just a lazy Sunday he gets to have with Rumlow.

"Y'know, I saw a cafe back there. We could try it," he suddenly remarks, glancing away from the window to study Rumlow's profile for signs of approval. "Not a date date, I mean, I know you don't do dates," he adds hurriedly. "But could be nice? Hike and coffee after?"

Edited 2025-07-05 01:07 (UTC)

Rumlow ignores the guards as well. He doesn't need them, he won't need any of it, he hopes. Sure, there have been a couple mishaps here and there, but Rumlow has handled them when he's been around. He's in complete control here.

He waits for James to get in and buckle up before he heads around the the drivers seat and gets in. He glances at James for a moment, then nods and starts the car, driving away from the facility. It's like any other mission- except not.

It may be quiet, but not uncomfortably. Rumlow isn't big on small talk and he sees James is busy looking at all the sights of the city- it's like the first time he's ever seen any of it, and in some ways it is. The Asset pays attention to nothing else but the mission. Probably doesn't have any idea where he exists. James, though- he's curious, trying to take it all in. Rumlow just hopes it doesn't trigger anything.

He does snort softly when James mentions the cafe, his eyebrows sliding up. "A hike? You wanna go on a hike? I didn't think you were the hiking type."

It's not exactly a hard no right off the at, so he'll take it.

"Rumlow, I've been stuck in a hospital room for what feels like forever," James says, maybe a little defensively. "Would be nice to stretch my legs. You're telling me you're surrounded by all this nature," he gestures at the foothills not that far away, hints of hiking trails and roads curling around brush and trees, "and you're not curious about what the view's like? I bet there's a great sunset spot up there."

So maybe he hasn't pegged Rumlow as necessarily the hiking type. He isn't, either. But he's got a serious crazy of stir-crazy and he's got two working legs and suddenly, he thinks, he'd like to go on a hike (preferably with good company). Maybe they could catch a sunset where they're not surrounded by people or beeping machinery or all this chatter about some fancy prosthetic's maintenance or whatever.

Hoping Rumlow might be open to it, James rests his elbow against the passenger's door, propping his chin in his hand as he glances hopefully at his friend. Would Rumlow be up for it? Hike and coffee and pastries? He isn't sure he can talk Rumlow into cuddling on top of that - might be too big of an ask, considering it's Rumlow, but still, a guy can dream...

Edited 2025-07-05 01:39 (UTC)

Forever. If James only knew just how long that forever has been.

"I see the view wherever I go- out on missions and field ops. I ain't really all that interested in going for hikes when I come back from a number of 'em." The Soldier goes on hikes too, he just doesn't remember. But of course, they're nothing like the ones James seems to want to go on. Sunset spot? Rumlow looks at James- almost amused by the prospects. His eyes are back on the road a moment longer, but.... then he shrugs.

"Fine, we'll go on a hike, but we're not gonna sit at a coffee shop and gab about whatever the hell civilians go on about." He side eyes James. This is ridiculous. "We can grab coffee to go on the way. This weekend."

A hike is safer. Maybe Rumlow can fuck his Soldier- James off the side of a cliff of something equally as preposterous.

He's about to say Rumlow doesn't have to be such a buzzkill...but then he agrees to the not-date.

James' face lights up. To his credit, he doesn't embarrass himself with a triumphant fist pump, but he does beam at Rumlow, his smile open and trusting as if the man hadn't fucked him while he was tied down and his brain was getting fried by the suppression chair not that long ago. As if he wouldn't do anything - suck off a stranger, torture a stranger, kill a bunch of strangers - just because Rumlow ordered it. Wouldn't matter why, if it was for a mission or Rumlow just didn't like how that person looked.

"Cool," James says, still smiling. "Thanks."

And he leaves it at that for now, although he doesn't do a very good job hiding the fact that he's radiating quietly smug satisfaction that he got Rumlow, of all people, to agree on a date. It's almost enough to make him forget that he's an amputee now, that he has to actively think about what arm he'd like to slip down around Rumlow's waist and hook his thumb against his belt loop so he could hold him close.

They reach what's apparently Rumlow's place for the time being. Small one, maybe two bedroom house with a driveway leading to a garage behind the house. Lawn's not as nicely manicured as others they passed on the way in, but it isn't falling apart and it looks functional, if drab. Overgrown hedges block a lot of the sight lines, giving them more privacy than if it'd been some decorative white picket fence...not that there's a ton of privacy because like everywhere in HYDRA, the house's been thoroughly bugged to document how the deep cover exercise goes.

James unbuckles his seatbelt once the truck's parked. "Nice place."

Edited (typo) 2025-07-05 03:10 (UTC)

That smile. That fucking smile. All directed at him. Rumlow grips the steering wheel a little harder. There's a part of him that wants to lash out, smack James right across the face to get that smile off and away from him, but he reels it in. That wouldn't end well.

He tries not to look at James the rest of the way, but every time they hit a light, it's hard not to sneak a glance. James looks so happy, so goddamn smug. Rumlow is quiet about it.

When they finally arrive, Rumlow's relieved. All of this feels too strange, too normal. Little does he realize that it's only going to get even more strange, trying to live the domestic life with James. For now though, he tries to keep his mind clear as he pulls into the driveway. "It's temporary."

He gets out, goes to grab both of their bags and tugs James's door open so he can get out. He only glances around slightly, knowing exactly where the surveillance is, before he lets them in, tossing his bag on the floor next to the door. This place is a lot better than his actual one. As drab as it might be, it has more personality than his does. Rumlow has nothing. This is it.

"Look around, if you want to." He wants to see what James will do.

James hadn't been planning to look around as soon as he stepped past the front door, figuring maybe he'd be barging in, but then Rumlow gives him the all clear and on second thought, maybe he does want to poke around after all.

He roams the house. His posture's loose, casual; nothing about it would've made him stand out from another civilian in the crowd aside from the empty sleeve where his left arm should've been. But there's something ingrained in the Soldier to clear a building and even if James strolls around instead of prowling with his finger on a trigger, he's still thorough as he goes from room to room. The place is overall pretty spartan, but there's a few little touches here and there: a few tattered books tossed carelessly, a picture frame with Rumlow and some old lady who might be his mom (in reality just an actress, composited in). Setting down the photo, James idly wonders if Rumlow still talks to his mom or he's estranged or maybe she's no longer alive.

He's never mentioned her. Probably a reason, so he reminds himself not to overstep boundaries and ask.

Next there's a guestroom that's really more of an office with a twin bed shoved incidentally in the corner and a few dumbbells against the wall. Bathroom's small, with just enough space to cram in a toilet, sink, and a combo shower/bathtub. There's already towels there, the colors in neutral grays and white. For a second he'll study the bathtub, frowning a little, puzzled. Can't shake the feeling something's missing with the shower but...unaware the correct answer is "the chain and collar you're always supposed to wear, per regulation", James eventually finishes his sweep in the kitchen.

Rumlow will find him staring over the steel sink, out the window where there's a yard outside and a wooden deck and absolutely zero concrete walls to box someone in. From here there's another view of the foothills he'd been talking about just a few minutes ago. You could do dishes and just quietly gaze out the window and relax.

"Cozy," James remarks and means it. "Too bad it's not permanent."

Rumlow gives the suggestion and then watches.

He's just as casual about it as James is though, moving through the house. Rumlow checks the fridge, then as James goes to check the bedrooms, Rumlow checks his weapons, making sure it's all in order. He's got everything he needs here. Nothing more, nothing less. Maybe there could be more.

Whatever life HYDRA has fabricated for him, for this mission, he's been debriefed about. It's nothing too far from the truth of it all, though. He doesn't care to bring more attention to it than need be. If James asks, he'll answer. Other than that, whatever happens, happens.

He does find his Soldier staring out the window and he frowns slightly, but schools his features as he approaches. "Maybe it could be. Haven't discussed it much."

Rumlow takes this opportunity to slide his hand over James's shoulder, turning him to press his back against the counter. "Is this cozy too?"

With his back against the sink and no longer looking at the outside world tempting him outside the window, James gazes at Rumlow with his good hand balancing himself by gripping the counter behind him.

"Definitely," he grins. "This a good time to thank you properly? Maybe I could convince you to slot me into your busy schedule."

He'll pause, weighing if he should just go for it. They've fooled around a few times, sure, but it'd been kinda like a fuck buddies type of deal: nothing emotional about it, no attachment, just good old-fashioned stress relief and Rumlow being pretty damn rough to the point where he remembers bruises, aches and pains that had lasted several days like a reminder of his handiwork. But standing here in his kitchen, eyes searching Rumlow's face, the age lines crinkling at the corners of his dark eyes, lingering on his mouth, and James decides what the hell and goes for it.

He steps a step closer, leaning in, head tilting down to account for that slight difference in their height. When he kisses Rumlow, his heart hammering with nervousness, it's not sloppy with need against his mouth. It isn't even the chaste, technically-correct one he'd given back in the VIP cell.

Instead James leans down and he kisses Rumlow on the cheek, his right hand cupping his jaw, palm warm against stubble.

Edited 2025-07-05 07:19 (UTC)

"I think this is probably a good time. My schedule's suddenly wide open." This is easier. It's better. It's what he's used to, when everything else feels off kilter. If James remembers him being rough, he also remembers that he wanted it that way. That he liked it.

Rumlow wants to make sure that still stands- even if it's been completely different. He waits to see just how different it can be.

He isn't disappointed, not in the least, as James leans in to kiss him. It's the rarest fucking thing when his Soldier makes the first move. He remembers the last time, and it was so nice, but then.... James' kiss lands on his cheek, his hand reaching up to cup his face. It's the most unexpected thing he's ever experienced in his life.

He has to close his eyes, his hand flying to push through James's hair to he can turn his head and kiss him properly on the lips, licking into his mouth.

Rumlow shows him that he's got nothing to worry about.

He doesn't turn his face away or make a crack about getting all soft and romantic, like it's an insult, a weakness. He doesn't really say anything about the kiss except to react. Their lips meet. Instinctively James invites him in, as always bending to the other man's will, the heat of Rumlow's tongue exploring his mouth as if it belongs to him. Sometimes James thinks he wouldn't mind a haircut because he gets tired of it getting in his face all the time but when Rumlow's fingers brush through it, tangling just enough that he's got a good grip so he can guide his head, and suddenly he has second thoughts.

Maybe he could put off the haircut for a little while longer. He kinda likes it gives Rumlow something to grab onto.

James kisses back, a breathy groan of want escaping him as he leans toward Rumlow, shifting his body so they're better balanced. Incidentally this just happens to put his leg in a position where he can gently nudge his knee up, rubbing his thigh up between Rumlow's legs in a slow, sensual back and forth movement, hoping to coax that bulge hidden behind his cargo pants into semi-hardness.

Rumlow lets out a groan into their kiss when James' thigh presses up against his groin, like he knows exactly what Rumlow wants. Maybe after all this time he does, despite all the wipes and even this undercover thing. That's what Rumlow has been trying to train into him after all.

He deepens the kiss, licking into James' mouth to claim him. His hands pushing up under the other man's shirt. He could just tear it off is him and tell James it's ok- but this needs to happen in a different kind of way. At least for himself.

"This what you want? This was you've been waiting for?" He asks after another deep kiss that needs to break so they could breathe.

His tongue dips up, pink and slick, to run along his upper lip just as it did when he was the Winter Soldier and he was licking his mouth clean of Rumlow's cum because he'd been ordered to get every last drop. This time, though, instead of vacant and dead eyes, James' are bright with desire, simmering with emotions he's never been allowed under normal circumstances.

"Yeah," he flashes Rumlow one of those lopsided, almost boyish grins of his, unaware it's stolen from Barnes. "Peace and quiet with you all to myself?" His hand slips from the other man's jaw as he steals a kiss, soft, a gentle pulse of his tongue against his lips, enjoying the coarse scratch of his stubble. "Sounds like a good time to me."

His hand caresses along the hard muscle of Rumlow's back. There's scars there, underneath the shirt, that he can feel their raised ridges, trophies from old injuries that he still doesn't where they came from: if he asks, he doubts Rumlow would tell him because it's none of his goddamn business. His touch lingers for a moment, fingers tracing out a few of them, before his palm wanders down to his lower back and he'll gently cup his ass, hiking him closer without thinking hey, it's kinda weird how easily he can lift the guy one-handed.

There's no vacant look. No blind following of orders and not being able to move past those orders. There's no telling him to pretend to like it, or to kiss and move a certain way. James does it all on his own.

It makes Rumlow's heart beat hard in his chest.

He'll even let the cheek kiss go.

"You always sound like a good time to me, sweetheart," Rumlow returns the gentle kiss for a moment, then sucks his lower lip in between his teeth, nipping before he kisses him again, deeper. It's always going to be possessive, because the Soldier is his. James is his as well.

It's that slight bit of cockiness that gets to Rumlow too. James gives as good as he gets, but he's so goddamn sweet about it. The way the other man touches him feels electric, every press of fingers seared into his skin. He returns the favor, his own hands dragging up James' chest, then moving to his back to pull him closer. He doesn't need to do much to make that happen, because James is already grabbing his ass and hauling him closer.

He grinds against the other man as he's pressed up so close, his cock already hardening in his pants. This whole new experience? It's exhilarating, and god it's turning him on a hell of a lot more than he thought it would.

Edited 2025-07-05 18:24 (UTC)

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