Your love for me is poison

TABOO meme

Most societies have certain mores that are unspoken rules; humanity itself even has such conventions, grilled subconsciously into our minds for our own safety. Don't go out alone at night. Avoid getting wet when it's cold. Don't pick fights with those stronger than you...okay, some of us missed the boat on the last one, but the point still stands. Society's rules tend to be more variable, though they apply to most aspects of life - including sex. In fact, bending the rules on what's considered acceptable in romance and sexual encounters can lead to anything from ostracization to death, depending on the time and culture.

So, play it close to the chest if you're going to do a big, big, big t a b o o. Is it worth the risk?

How to Play

- Comment with your character and preferences. Be sure to include what you want and what you DON'T WANT. Blank comments are fine; info is even better!
- Reply to others.
- Be fun and respect others, as this will deal with some heavy topics and potentially triggering material s.

Prompts

A G E ( DIFFERENCE ) - light of my life, fire of my loins. you're supposed to stick to those your own age, but you can't resist.
I N C E S T - you're of the same blood, yet something draws you together. you'll keep your secret thicker than water.
C H E A T I N G - when you were young, they should have taught you to not take things that belong to other people.
I N ( PUBLIC ) - to involve unsuspecting others in your sex is insidious, but you can't resist it.
S U P E R F L U O U S - some conservative societies view sex outside procreational purposes as taboo. that means anal, oral, and toys are all no-go.
F I X A T I O N - you're nearly obsessed with one part of your partner - breasts, ass, lips...whatever the case may be, you always focus on that.
D E V I A N C Y ( IN SUBURBIA ) - there are some things that should be sacred. the home should be one of those. should.
S I Z E - pick on someone your own size. couples with large size difference, be it height or weight, can be looked down upon; don't let that get you down.
P H O B I A - unfortunately, in some societies, being with someone of the same gender is a taboo, no matter how much progress the modern world has made.
F E T I S H - some just can't get off without their fetish, and the varieties run the gamut: feet, crossdressing, autoerotic asphyxiation, foodplay, bondage...it goes on and on.
U N E X P E C T E D ( DOMINATION/SUBMISSION ) - the masculine must be dominant. the feminine must be submissive. what if you're dominant in life, though, and just want to be submissive in the bedroom.
V I O L E N T - more than mere lover's spats, what goes on between you two is dangerous. if people knew, they'd be horrified. still, you can't stop.
F O R B I D D E N ( LOVE ) - your relationship may be taboo, but there's genuine love in your copulation. this isn't merely a thrill.
L O O S E - monogamy isn't what you're after. no matter how looked down upon it is, you're going to have fun while you can.
S T U D E N T / T E A C H E R - what goes on between the sheets is not an appropriate subject matter to teach. there's so much to lose; is it a smart game to play?
A U T H O R I T Y - perhaps they're the boss, the president, the king, but you, you're a lowly peon. are they using their powers over you or is this something you both want?
I N T E R S P E C I E S - kind finds kind, and don't you be a traitor by being with one of them.
B E S T I A L I T Y - one of the most primal taboos. will you go into that moral wilderness?
S O C I A L ( CLASS ) - the rich. the poor. it's like they're in two different worlds. what will the uppercrust say if they saw their golden child with a tramp?
C E L I B A C Y - you are supposed to keep your chastity, but things are never that easy.
S T O C K H O L M - prisoners should never fall for their guards.
D U T I E S - whether it be saving the world or being the world's best bodyguard, your sworn quest and purpose keeps you from enjoying the sins of the flesh - especially with your charges.
I N N O C E N C E - one of you is much more worldly, and to ruin the "innocence" of the other feels unclean.
F E R T I L E - you aren't supposed to find mothers or fathers sexually alluring. however, there's something so enticing about fertility...perhaps even pregnancy.
C O R R U P T I O N - society expects you to treat your partner well, not try to destroy them through sexual degradation.
N O N C O N S E N S U A L - consent is rightfully important to a healthy sexual relationship. to break that trust is taboo.

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Rumlow doesn't choke him with his cock to the point where he'd been seeing the pinprick of stars or his vision began tunneling with gray static. Still, it doesn't stop James from sucking in a wet and needy gasp as soon as Rumlow suddenly gives an insistent pull of his hair and bodily drags him free of his heat, his mouth hanging open as he wheezes and coughs and unconsciously licks his tender, swollen lips, dazed, blinking like he's just resurfaced from underwater.

It's not an uncommon occurrence, Rumlow choking the Winter Soldier with his cock. Testing him. Seeing if his breath capacity and his ability to keep still and compliant hasn't gone all rusty thanks to all the naps he gets in cold storage.

What's different is the spark of life behind those normally vacant blue eyes. As James gazes up at Rumlow, he's dizzy with both pain and pleasure, lust sparking. For a brief moment he almost flashes a smile when the heavy weight of his cock smacks him in the cheek with a faint thud, knowing that Rumlow likes the picture this paints: him on his knees, looking up with his engorged dick resting on his face. He gets gorgeous and sweetheart and it's probably the happiest the Winter Soldier's ever felt - regardless of his ruined memory - in decades.

Rumlow's just too good for him. Taking him in, giving him a home, always being there. He doesn't stop to think for a second that when Rumlow says he likes it, that he doesn't question it. Rumlow says he likes it, so he does. The guy knows best and it feels right to settle on his knees, facefucked good and proper. His cheeks hollow and fill with each leisurely, full thrust of Rumlow's cock as he thrusts in deep enough to bury himself to the hilt, withdrawal enough that James almost seems to be kissing his slicked head.

Edited 2025-07-11 07:13 (UTC)

James looks dazed, saliva clinging to the edge of those red, swollen lips. Rumlow doesn't ever get anything more from that look- not from the Soldier. But James' eyes, even with how unfocused they are for a moment, are so bright blue. They're alive in a way that Rumlow desires. He wants it for himself. James will never look at anyone else like that. He'll never be down on anyone else's knees, worshiping. Rumlow will make sure of it- he's already well on his way.

It's a kindness, he tells himself, instead of ever dwelling on the kind of person he is. James is well taken care of.

Doesn't matter how deep he thrusts into James' throat, he takes it. It urges Rumlow to pick up the speed from something leisurely to a lot more rough. This is how he likes to finish himself off. His fingers curl tighter into long strands and his hips thrust forward harder, fast, moaning loudly as he truly facefucks this living, breathing version of his Soldier.

He moves his other hand through James' hair as well, pushing his hair back completely so he can watch tears and drool mixing on the other man's face as he pounds into that needy mouth. "Fuck...fuck!" He cries out as he comes with two more deep thrusts, buried deep and holding James' head there as he spills down his throat.

He doesn't let up until the pulsing stops, finally letting his fingers fall from James' head as he slumps back against the doorframe.

It's something of Rumlow's calling card to leave the Winter Soldier a dripping mess once he's through with him.

The world narrows down to base sensations. His jaw wide as he can possibly open it; the demanding heat of Rumlow's thick shaft stuffing him to the brim as he grunts and drools, saliva slicking the cock brutally pistoning into him and shining along the corners of his abused mouth and down his chin. He's completely at Rumlow's mercy on his knees like this, dimly aware of the other man brushing his hair back from where it'd fallen into his face from the force of his thrusts jerking his head and with his imprinting digging tendrils into his ruined mind so this feels right, this feels so very natural.

He doesn't have to be ordered to swallow like usual.

James can't exactly make this look particularly sexy, but he can gulp as best he can around that cock spearing him, a mindless whine edging out and humming around Rumlow as his tongue presses up and he swallows and swallows. While James might not be as thorough as the Soldier, he makes up for it with sheer enthusiasm, a trickle of Rumlow's cum seeping from the corner of his mouth as he finally leans back with tender, rosy lips and and rests on the back of his heels to gaze up at the other man.

Rumlow looks spent, braced up against the doorway. Without thinking about it, James shifts his grip so he can steady him, figuring Rumlow's legs must feel wobbly and weak considering how hard he had to work.

"I think 'wow' is an understatement," James's voice has that tight, slightly strangled quality of someone who'd been truly facefucked. Once he's sure Rumlow won't pitch over, he reaches up idly rub at the little bit of his seed that had nearly slipped away at the corner of his mouth. His tongue curls out to lick the heel of his palm clean. "Am I right or am I right?"

His Soldier always looks best when he's a dripping mess, looking all dirty and fucked out. Rumlow's just never seen his eyes shine so bright with it.

James doesn't need to be so thorough- he looks better this way- cum, saliva, tears, all smeared under those gorgeous pink lips as he pulls off. Rumlow's lips are parted as well, panting softly, feeling well and truly spent, like James somehow managed to take all the edges off. Just from a goddamn blowjob. Rumlow likes how that hand is still on him too- steadying him, as if James actually gives a shit. In his head, he very much does. That's all Rumlow really needs right now.

Even the raspiness of his voice after being face fucked is a new thing. The Soldier doesn't ever say a word afterwards. James is being fucking cheeky, or whatever, and it puts a slow smirk on Rumlow's face. "You're goddamn right." He could get used to this. He really could. It's dangerous. But when has Rumlow ever shied away from dangerous?

"Glad I didn't jerk myself off earlier. It was worth the wait." He'll give that to James too.

The way Rumlow says that, it isn't like he's making some kinda dig about the whole thing in the kitchen. The guy actually sounds glad, sounds legit impressed. While James isn't quite sure he'd agree that it was worth the whole awkwardness just a few hours ago (their first fight? Was it really a fight?), he's happy that Rumlow's happy - maybe happier than he can recall ever seeing him after a blowjob and he's sucked him off a lot, to the point where he can't even remember them all.

James has to make a concentrated effort not to smirk. "Hope you worked up an appetite for dinner then." He pauses and then screw it, he'll smirk anyway. "Real dinner. Not seeing if your new bed's rated to survive one of our fuck sessions."

But seriously, he's starving. James' stomach chooses to gurgle right then with an insistent grumble they both could hear. Funny enough, gulping down Rumlow's cum doesn't really count as an actual meal, no matter how much he tries to suck him off in the span of twenty-four hours and now that they're both relaxed and coming down off the high of a nice make-up session, the idea of real food suddenly has James planting his good hand on his thigh and levering himself to his feet.

Without asking, leaning in close enough that he can feel familiar sagging heat pressed up against his pants, he reaches into Rumlow's pocket and pulls out his phone. James' voice teases against the shell of the other man's ear. "How about you make that call now?"

"Damn, real dinner? Guess I'll just have to fuck you for dessert." It just comes out of him so easily all of a sudden- this back and forth banter. His smirk even grows at the way James smirks at him, fingers brushing through damn strands of hair.

James stands with a stomach growl and Rumlow's pretty sure he's never heard anything like that before. Not from the Soldier. His arm instinctively goes around the other man when he leans close again, shivering just slightly when his hot breath tickles his ear so teasingly. Without even a word, James reaches into his pants pocket to retrieve his phone, and Rumlow isn't mad about it.

His fingers press into the small of James' back, while the other snags the phone from him. "You gonna let me, or are you gonna keep teasing?" There's no bite to his tone. Only amusement.

His gaze shifts momentarily to his phone so he can look up some pizza places around here. He finds one that also has burgers so he orders both. Why the fuck not. When else is James gonna get to eat like this? Once he's done ordering, he's feeling particularly.... generous.

With his phone slid back into his pocket, his hand is free to move to the front of James's sweats, palming at the heavy bulge still there. He's quick to shift their positions, moving forward to push James's back against the opposite door frame, sliding a knee up between his legs.

"Got a little time to kill before the food gets here if you need some help with this."

Oh, they're really doing this?

Maybe it's a latent part of the Winter Soldier resurfacing - not enough to break through the deep cover of "James", but enough to remember that he's traditionally been used for fucking and not the other way around - but the idea Rumlow might help him with his growing hard-on has him going a little rigid against the doorway. James' breath hitches as that knee presses up against his balls, hot and tight, head tilting back as he gulps for air and his hand shoots up above his head so he can grab at the doorframe. He doesn't register it when his fingers dig into the wood there with audible cracks.

Cue his new deep cover programming rewriting the pathways burned into his brain to make sense of Rumlow's stimulation approach.

"Jesus, Rumlow," James says, voice a little shaky all of a sudden. "You're gonna spoil me rotten, you keep that up."

An instinctive part of him might remember he's not supposed to experience pleasure, because that's for actual people like Rumlow and not mere assets. Tools are to be used. But James is hiked up just high enough that he's lifted up onto his toes and unable to easily lever himself, his hips slowly writhing against Rumlow's knee, and he can't just swing himself off. His bulge is less of a bulge now and starting to get into tenting territory, cock hard against the fabric of his underwear and sweatpants and a few dots of precum already darkening the fabric as he gyrates slowly.

With Rumlow's hand on his dick, his balls wedged against his leg, and it's damn hard for James to come up with a rationalization why Rumlow shouldn't help get him off.

Edited 2025-07-12 14:43 (UTC)

"Maybe I wanna see what that's like." Spoiling James rotten. It won't go that far, of course- James won't get that lucky- but Rumlow is interested in this new dynamic. In this new way James response to everything the way a normal person would, just hyper focused on him.

James moving his hand over his head is a nice touch, making him look very fully on display and vulnerable- desperately so, as he grinds down on Rumlow's knee, trying to get more friction. Rumlow gives it to him, slanting his knee to give James more purchase, palming at the outline of his hardon through those flimsy sweats. His other hand moves up to pin James' wrist against the doorframe, leaning in close enough to kiss him, but teasingly not doing so. He wants to see if James will chase after it first.

When he's teased for long enough, Rumlow tugs the sweats and underwear down, freeing that leaking cock. He shifts away long enough to spit into his hand, then circles his calloused fingers around that hot and heavy hardon and starts stroking- long, tight, watching James' face, because damn, he's starting to like the way James' formerly expressionless face as the Soldier has taken on a whole new life.

He's trapped between Rumlow's callused hand clapped around his wrist and the raised knee and sure, maybe there's an instinctive shiver of discomfort, a thrill of unease flushing his cheeks and running hot through his body in a wave. Or...maybe that's just his arousal. Has to be, because he knows as rough as Rumlow gets - and let's be real, the guy put the definition of "rough" in the dictionary - he doesn't really want to hurt him and he won't. He knows exactly when to stop. Knows the line drawn in the sand even if James himself sometimes doesn't always remember where that is.

Which is fine: he trusts Rumlow to do the remembering for the both of them.

Even knowing that, James leans in for the kiss only to get denied it, stopping just short because he can't move further from where Rumlow's got him pinned against the doorframe. All he gets is the sensation of Rumlow's breath warm against him, so close that it's literally just an inch or two away from being able to capture his mouth with his.

But James forgets about the kiss as soon as Rumlow fondles him free. It's different having someone else stroke him off than just doing it himself, James' face tightening with the unfamiliar sensation of that kind of pleasure. His head tilts backward, falling against the wood frame with a light thunk as his lips part and he swallows, thick and loud when his arousal weeps against Rumlow's fingers circled around his straining member standing proud.

"You're an asshole," James whispers, voice hoarse with desire. His hips buck and rock against Rumlow's knee wedged up between his legs. "Ngh..."

Edited 2025-07-13 06:55 (UTC)

The shivers don't seem like discomfort to Rumlow. They tell him that this is wanted, needed. That James is chasing after this feeling he never gets to have-- This pleasure that he'll give to him, and keep him wanting to come back for more. James wants it rough- likes it rough. That much he's already proved. Whatever conditioning happened before this to make him that way, Rumlow isn't thinking about. This is all there is.

James' head falls back, exposing his throat, and Rumlow leans in to nip hard at his skin, dragging his hand up and down, capturing precum with his thumb so he can use it to slick up the way he jerks the other man off. He should be pissed at those disrespectful words, but they really just egg him on, loving the fiery reaction, and the way James grinds into him like he can't get enough.

"You like that I'm an asshole," he smirks, adding pressure to the sensitive spots along James' shaft as he moves his hand up and down the length of his cock.

"Well yeah - "

Whatever James was going to say gets lost as he cuts himself off with a ragged groan. His pulse thrums against Rumlow's lips where he bites hard enough to leave a cluster of dark red marks, tender against James' throat exposed to the other man almost in a sign of instinctive submission. A hiss as a little jolt - not agonizing, but uncomfortable - ebbs from each spot where teeth dig into his skin. His hips seem to have a mind of its own in the meantime, thrusting eagerly into each tight, thorough stroke around his dick.

It doesn't take that long at all for Rumlow to get him all hot and bothered and his cock almost hurting with how rigid it is, clenched in the other man's strong hand, every inch of his shaft glistening with pre mixed with saliva. His ass goes tight against Rumlow's leg as he instinctively clenches; unclenches; then clenches again. Has he ever been this hard, this fast?

Swimming in a sea of pleasure, he can't remember. Maybe it doesn't matter. He wriggles and writhes where he's levered up on Rumlow's leg, his hips blindly driving into his glistening hand and his lips parted in lust, eyes squeezed shut with each heaving pant.

James really is quite a sight to take in- slick, parted lips with that look of pleasure on his face, his body practically writhing as he chases after each stroke of Rumlow's hand. It's s gorgeous thing to watch, really, so Rumlow figures why not. James is his to do with as he pleases, and right now this is what he wants.

His hand tightens around James' wrist, the other picking up the pace as he strokes, letting his thumb drag along the head of his cock. Rumlow's mouth travels upward so he can nip at James' ear, before running his tongue along the shell.

"Come for me, sweetheart," he practically purs, feeling that desperate need coming off of James in waves.

It doesn't take much - Rumlow's all up in his business showing him how it's done, his drawling words hot against his face and then his ear and that tongue, Jesus H Christ, that tongue is sinful how it slicks against his ear over the tingle of his bite, as if to soothe over the sting of Rumlow's teeth. Between Rumlow's hand steadily pumping along his hard-on, hot and throbbing, and the fact that he's rarely ever been allowed to come, and it's almost embarrassingly fast.

James tenses up in Rumlow's hand. His hip drive into that relentless grip with his cock twitching, his head hanging back to rest against the doorframe as his gasps take on a hungry and urgent air. Warmth spills onto Rumlow's finger and hands as he comes with a loud, wanton moan and his fingers curls into claws where he's got his wrist pinned to the doorframe above his head. Oblivious to a few wood splinters coming free, he jerks into Rumlow's hand.

Unlike the last time in HYDRA's shower there's a normal amount of seed: apparently there's a suppressant somewhere in the "vitamins" James is supposed to take every day and so he doesn't soak Rumlow's hand and his sleeve as he quivers to a stop, his chest heaving, forehead beaded with sweat. James sags forward as he struggles to catch his breath, still held upright by Rumlow's fingers circled around his wrist and his knee wedged up between his legs, the thigh of his pants splattered here and there with James' cum.

James drops his head back against the doorframe, and Rumlow knows he's well and truly done for. He lets the other man fuck into his hand, rocking his hips so insistently. It's the only chance he'll get, so Rumlow lets him have it. He looks so goddamn beautiful while doing so- it's hard to ask for anything else.

When James comes, Rumlow smirks and leans in to bite at his neck, not caring in the least what this might seem like. Whatever James wants, he'll let it happen.

And when James slumps forward, Rumlow catches him, squeezing before letting go completely to wrap both his arms around the other man. "You good?"

Pleasure's such a new, strange sensation that he's still trembling with it in Rumlow's arms and without thinking about it, he tries to do the same - wrap his arms around Rumlow's body, hug him to him, never let go. An awkward jolting motion from his left shoulder and its chrome socket before he remembers he can't hug like he used to; James gets his other arm looped around Rumlow from under his ribs so he can cradle the back of his head, fingers splayed against his short-cropped hair.

"Y-yeah," James murmurs into the crook of Rumlow's neck. "More than good."

Rumlow lets him have it. Lets him ride out this orgasm, because why the hell not. It'll feel good, it'll humanize him. It'll help all of this along. Plus- James looks goddamn gorgeous when he's reached his peak. Rumlow isn't going to deny himself of that either.

The surprise is when James curls his arm around him though, drawing him closer with such affection. It's.... different. It's good. Rumlow lets himself have this too.

"Good," he murmurs right back, tilting his head to nuzzle in against James's head, leaving kisses along his neck. He moves a hand to tuck James back into his underwear, not caring about the mess they've made. That is, not until the doorbell goes off, signaling their dinner arrival.

"Shit." Rumlow detaches himself quickly, wiping James' jizz off on his pants. "Stay here, cool off." He commands, then goes to answer the door, grabbing their boxes of pizza and burgers to bring back inside, setting it all down on the dining room table.

Still coming down off his high, thighs quivering a little like they're made of jelly, James leans back against the doorway and nods and even has the presence of mind to offer Rumlow a slightly shaky thumbs-up. He's not sure what he wants more right now: to keep hugging Rumlow to himself or let him go just long enough to get dinner so he can scarf it down his first meal as a man who just got freed from an extended stay at the hospital. Hunger wins out - or, more like, he was told to stay here. A direct order. But -

But that direct order conflicts with the earlier one to "settle in" while he's in this house. Listening to Rumlow trooping downstairs, the front door opening, he wars with the two orders. Stay here? But if he's supposed to make himself at home, why should he wait to be collected like a kid for dinner?

Faced with the conflicting orders, James makes the executive decision to compromise: he doesn't exactly barge into the dining room, instead coming down the flight of stairs with his hand on the banister, waiting on the very last step as he peeks his head around the corner.

"Hey, you need any help? I'm decent now, could grab some drinks or whatever."

Edited (typo -rewording) 2025-07-14 08:55 (UTC)

Rumlow doesn't realize the conflict, doesn't even really think about what he says. It's just an expression really. Something said offhand. Does he really want James to stay there against the doorframe? No.

So he doesn't think much of it when James heads down the stairs either, once he starts setting the food out. In fact, Rumlow wants him to. They're here together. They just had a real damn good time together and now it's time to eat. He glances over briefly, giving James a nod.

"Grab a couple beers from the fridge." James can do that while Rumlow grabs some plates. Pizza, burgers and fries aren't his usual. It's all garbage food. Junk food. They're gonna have a fucking treat tonight. Both of them. "And then come here and grab your food. I ordered a lot."

Just two regular guys hanging out, right? Why the hell not.

Heading into the kitchen James does his best not to immediately glance over at the sink by the window like it's a crime scene. Hard not to, though, when it'd only been a few hours ago since he'd been bent over it with his pants tugged down around his calves, Rumlow so pissed that he'd speared him with his dry fingers and zero prep. Looking at the sink serves as a reminder of how he'd fucked up bad, had thrown his friend's generosity back in his face with his ungratefulness.

Mouth pressed into a line, he veers toward the fridge. Six pack of beer; might as well grab the whole thing. Returning to the dining room he'll find that dinner's laid out and it's a lot - two large pizzas, burgers, fries (curly ones, thick ones, and garlic: Christ, did Rumlow think he was feeding an army?) and paper plates and napkins. Setting the six pack down, James heads over to what looks less like dinner and more like a mini buffet, eyes wide at the dizzying amount of choice Rumlow's presented him.

He waffles for a few seconds, not used to choosing. Mouth watering, James roams from the pizza boxes and opening each one - pepperoni, combo (does he like combo? He can't remember) - and then he'll pull with two fingers at each of the bags with the burgers and fries, giving them a test inhale and unable to help the little heady moan of delight. While he might not cum as much as the Winter Soldier, he still has an enhanced man's appetite.

He starts with a slice from each pizza, a beer, a double cheeseburger, and a handful of garlic fries, once he's figured out where Rumlow's sitting at the table and he can make sure to sit close to him.

"Think I'm gonna food coma after this," James beams, holding the very first slice of pizza he's probably had in decades.

Edited 2025-07-14 11:39 (UTC)

Yeah, so- he might've gone a little overboard, he doesn't care. It's on HYDRA's dime, and they might as well live it up while they're here. They. As if they're a unit. Together. Rumlow doesn't want to entertain the implications of that, so he puts it all in a little box in his head and packs it away.

Maybe it's like the VIP room. His Soldier does what he wants him to do, and he gets rewarded for it. Seems like a perfectly reasonable thing.

Rumlow snags just about the same as James. A slice from each, a burger and some curly fries, then sits with a beer in hand. He smirks when James comes to sit right next to him. Good.

"I know for a fact you haven't eaten any'a this in a real long time, so- take your time, but- enjoy." And he finds that he means it. How about that. He lets himself enjoy it as well, starting with the fries, then the slice of pepperoni. If he ate like this on the regular, he wouldn't be in the shape he's in, so it really is a treat. "What do you think? Like it?"

He shouldn't give a shit if James likes it or not, but he does.

Probably a good thing Rumlow reminds him to take his time, because James? He was about to really dig in and murder his way through his first helping of dinner and move onto his second with extreme prejudice. Keeping Rumlow's advice in mind he goes a little slower even if he demolishes the greasy slice of pepperoni pizza, finishes half the burger before moving onto the garlic fries (which don't stand a chance) and he's soon finishing off the slice of combo pizza, his tongue swiping out to lick a stray trail of grease from his finger.

"It's really good," James says. "Can't remember when the last time I had pizza like this, it's..."

He trails off for a second, that tiny little puzzled line furrowed between his brow as he frowns slightly. His eyes glaze over a bit and he stares down at the pizza boxes stacked on top of each other, maybe on the verge of vague, blurry glimpses of Brooklyn, of pizza with - with...

Giving himself a little shake, he glances sidelong at Rumlow and offers a smile and a shrug and reaches for his beer. The deep cover's programming holds. "I'm sure this's way better. You sure know how to pick 'em."

Slower is good. He doesn't want to deal with a sick Soldier, especially not now. He knows James can adjust, though- and if not, his programming will. Rumlow isn't worried.

"Months ago- last time I was on leave." Rumlow tries to fill in those gaps, even if he doesn't need to. He wants those moments to be in James' head. Did they ever sit around and have pizza like this? No. But this is all that really needs to stay with James.

"I always make sure you're taken care of," Rumlow reminds James. And it's true- maybe even more now than before, considering their situation.

Rumlow jogs his memory. Instead of some indefinite question mark, his words sink their claws into James' vulnerable mind and he nods and goes oh yeah, it was just a few months ago, wasn't it? and doesn't think it's weird that he can't remember where or even what pizza he had, only that he must've had pizza, must've liked it, and Rumlow was clearly there. Finishing off his combo slice, James goes back to his burger and he's got big a mouthful of it when Rumlow says something that's so...so sweet that he glances up, startled. And Rumlow acts like he couldn't get all romantic...

Chew. Swallow. Don't ruin the moment by flashing him with your food like a kid. He even runs his tongue along his teeth before he speaks.

"I know. You've always got my back," James repeating after Rumlow in his own way, reinforcing the obedience pathways that have been steadily carved into his brain. "You're too good for me."

He flashes Rumlow a grin to show that nope, this isn't him getting all maudlin again like the hospital room or the kitchen. They both know it and he's cool with it and he's happy to sit next to Rumlow and pig out over pizza and burgers with the guy.

It doesn't matter what James remembers, because the memories aren't really there. None of them are, except what they want to remain. Rumlow is one of those memories that remains.

The sweetness, though... he doesn't intend to put out there, and yet it is, and James is looking at him in a certain way, and..... Rumlow isnt going to stop it.

"I've got your back." Obedience, not the time to get all maudlin. James is still smiling and eating, and... it'll be alright.

Look at Rumlow, getting all romantic. "Thanks."

James busies himself with snagging another slice of pepperoni before he starts blushing again like he's around some high school crush or whatever. With the deep cover giving him the illusion of choice, he actually glances over at the paper plate where the condiments are instead of just eating whatever he's handed and he experiments by grabbing some packets of grated parmesan and red chili flakes: maybe it's muscle memory or maybe he's only observed someone in HYDRA do this, but he doesn't think twice about dumping some extra cheese and chili onto his pizza as if the thought's his own.

"Might crash after dinner, if that's okay with you," James says. "Been a big day: think I'm getting kinda tired."

Nevermind the Winter Soldier has plenty of experience with sleep deprivation, weeks of experiments with the lights either cranked up or sensory deprivation where he can't see for days on end, and that isn't counting the marathon fucking sessions. Apparently operating under deep cover's almost as exhausting, James not quite at the stage where he's dozing off into his food...but he isn't sure he could handle sucking Rumlow off again without falling asleep with his dick still in his mouth.

Edited 2025-07-16 09:40 (UTC)

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