bakerstreet | TFLN Overflow

you say that as if you don't roll over the moment i call you a good boy.

the less i know the less i have to pretend otherwise.

........Okay, you might have a point there.

[As if it wasn't already blatantly obvious that Dex had a praise kink.]

That's what you get for somehow ending up a do-gooder.

and you have such a pettable tummy.

... look, it was either that, incinerated, or incarcerated.
don't worry, as soon as the next alien invasion arrives, i'm out.

You gonna rub it for me if I come over?

Hey, at least right now you've got the advantage of good publicity instead of being one of the two poster boys for the mayor's crackdown on vigilantes. You never can have too much good press on your side.

might take a few more nibbles to convince me.

questionable publicity, at best. but luckily i'm the one they tend to forget about most. advantages to being the awkward quiet one.
i think valentina is going back and forth with the mayor about the whole 'vigilante' definition and how much we're allowed to get involved in. if we're lucky, they'll take each other out.

I'd love to bite you all over.

Good. Blend in. When you stand out, that's when they'll use for a scapegoat if something goes wrong.

[Projection much, Dex?]

One can only hope. That would solve a lot of problems for me.

do you have to bite extra hard to make up for that missing tooth?

think that's the plan. to throw us all under the bus the moment we step out of line.

mutual blackmail is so complicated, bucky said i can't toss her off the red hook pier. but maybe if we can get them involved in some little territorial political dispute.

NO. I am missing A tooth, I am not toothLESS!

I know how that goes. They use you until you're not useful anymore and then just throw you away like garbage.

Maybe if they get in close proximity of one another they'll just finish each other off. Like mutual destruction.

how to train my dexgon...

garbage, no matter how well i do my job, follow all mission objectives, complete every assignment. now i'm under all this public pressure and scrutiny, and i know they're looking for any reason to say i don't measure up. and how could i? to thor? captain america? any of them.

love that. let me encourage valentina to throw another gala, and we can make sure fisk is on the invite list. see what sort of damage we can arrange.

Way to make us sound like we're starring in a bad parody porno.

Don't try then. Be yourself. You'll get people to like you just by doing that. After all, I do.

Yes, that's a great idea. I want to watch from the dark corners of the room while I munch on popcorn.

i already feel like a bad parody edition. might as well make it fun.

not sure. i've been through enough of the hr and pr training sessions to know all the sorts of things i rather say aren't appropriate on camera. keeping my mouth shut and letting the others do the talking feels easiest.

not sure popcorn is gala food. they prefer little... things on crackers, i think. and i say that never having attended one.

Okay. Stand there and look pretty instead. That won't be too hard for you.

Yeah, they serve fancy little hors d'oeuvres there, like a pâté made of fish with names you never even heard of before.

luckily the camera is usually on yelena, or bucky. or alexei once he starts yapping again.

are they any good, or are rich people just tricking themselves into eating disgusting things because they sound fancy and cost a lot?

You do realize all it takes is one big influencer on social media to be like 'who is ghost and why is no one talking about how hawt she is????' and you'll end up with the spotlight on you just as much as the others have?

Sometimes they're good. Particularly where expensive meats and cheese are involved. And sometimes it's escargot and caviar and you start wondering how hungry people must have been back in the Dark Ages to start thinking this shit was ever considered edible.

that's when the mask goes back on.

yeah, i assume anything that didn't lead to poisoning and death was probably considered edible enough back in the day. but convincing wealthy people to pay more for bugs and eggs must be some sort of joke.

What a shame.

I mean when you think about it, what crazy caveman back in the day thought an EGG was edible? This weird white rock-like thing that breaks when you open it up and somehow you can eat the contents? Insanity!

don't like feeling like a product to consume, that's all.
or that the public gets to like... control the narrative of me now.
popularity ratings and gossip articles and weird comments about why i don't smile more.

yeah i'm curious how people first figured out the concept of cooking things over fire, or boiling in water. or grinding up grains and making it into a paste and then somehow into bread. and breeding crops into more edible versions. really weird shit, but i guess people didn't have much else to do with their time those days but chew on everything they found.

I hate to break it to you but once you're in the spotlight, it's hard for the public NOT to control the narrative. Remind me to show you what some of the newspapers said about me even before the whole descent into villainy thing when I was still working for the FBI.

And then occasionally someone with a peanut allergy would eat one and abruptly drop dead, leaving everyone to wonder why the hell that seemed to spontaneously happen with this one weird legume sometimes.

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