bakerstreet | TFLN Overflow

[ smart man... he Understands... riddle is still working on actualizing his ideal self, and in all honesty, his vision of ideal beauty is a giant buff muscular woman like the queen from that one book, but since that's impossible for him to attain, he needs to figure something else out that will work for him. poor little rosie has so much to figure out, doesn't he? ]

That's actually a good point, as I want to do more traveling in the future. Even during my flight from London, I was comfortable and able to curl up in my seat just fine.

Hm... In light of this, rather than hoping to reach 190cm, I'll try to will my growth to a nice 180. That ought to do nicely. It's tall enough to change my life, but I can still manage to pull off an effeminate appearance whenever I choose.

well, do your best with that

[ sometimes you're not supposed to break the delusion... ]

what are you plans to deal with the growing pains

Thank you.

[ then why the fuck is he asking all these QUESTIONS, planting seeds of DOUBT?!?!?! ]

Growing pains? Those are old hat by now. I already had them when I was around twelve or so before I shot right up overnight, so I imagine my next growth spurt will be similar in nature.

[ he's going to die of a copium overdose if he keeps this up... ]

Edited 2025-05-24 21:17 (UTC)

[ he just thinks riddle should be prepared to grow like 2 feet if that's what he wants to do?? ]

oh? good for you
i had them fairly severely, especially in the knees

[ but lots of fucked-up things were happening to him physiologically on account of going from malnourished to being put on meal plans for the 1% of athletes out there, so he imagines his might have been particularly painful for many reasons outside of just the normal ones. ]

but i didnt have a second growth spurt so i guess it could be different

That's awful. I can't imagine how frustrating that must have been.

[ riddle can guess why, and it leaves a knot in his stomach. is that about when he started playing football professionally? it couldn't have been long after they'd parted ways, and riddle remembers all too well that kaiser wasn't exactly a well cared for child. the thought of that thin, pale child suddenly being thrust into a world not even most adults could survive in is... ]

Mine were relatively tame. Boys tend to grow steadily throughout the years rather than have multiple large spurts, but as you can see that hasn't happened to me. Therefore, I'm betting on a rare second growth spurt.

[ lord knows where this delusion comes from (well, he knows where but he will not talk about it); when your mother restricts your calories your entire life, you sure as shit aren't going to make it to seven feet. ]

well, it couldnt be helped so i dont remember being particularly frustrated over it
its something everybody simply has to endure, dont you think?

[ and he can put up with... a lot of physical suffering... so it's fine! ]

also, now that i think about it, dont they have surgery for getting taller nowadays?

Even so... Well, it's not like you're wrong. There are all sorts of pains in life one cannot avoid. At least you got to be a nice 185≥cm as a result, so it wasn't pointless.

[ riddle wanted to nag about kaiser undermining his own suffering and tell him to cut it out, but getting into an argument while visiting korea would be extremely shitty, so he refrains. see? he's learning too. ]

Ah, I believe so, but wouldn't that be painful? You would need to have your leg bones broken at the very least, meaning you would require numerous follow-up visits... As much as I'd like to be taller, I don't want it enough to take such drastic measures!

[ being nagged for going through something many a tall boy just naturally does would, in fact, be quite annoying to him. so good call... ]

no? well, then, what WOULD you be willing to put up with in order to get taller?

What an ominous question... And yet, the more I think about it, the more I realize that there are few inconveniences I would be willing to tolerate in order to assure I reach the height I deserve. Natural growing pains is one thing, but breaking my femurs, or being stretched out on a medieval rack, or what have you...

No, nothing agonizing, obtrusive, or especially time-consuming would be worth it.

well, i didnt mean for it to be ominous...
its more about revealed preference
if you ask yourself what youd realistically be willing to give up or endure to get something that you want and you realize your tolerance is actually lower than you thought, then maybe you didnt actually want it very much in the first place

In all honesty, throughout this conversation, I found myself wondering the same thing. It's true that the day to day inconveniences of being short would make growing worth it, but it's not as if I haven't adapted well by now. The cosmetic aspects really are secondary.

I suppose at the very least, I won't be *too* disappointed if this is my permanent height. It seems likely to be, doesn't it...?

...Ah, as I said that, I couldn't help but feel a bit sad. Even just reaching an average height would have been nice.

[ riddle was so looking forward to decorating the top of his refrigerator... ]

its natural for people to idealize what they dont have. the grass is greener... thats how the saying goes, right?
as long as you arent agonizing over how horrible it is to be the height that you are, i dont think theres anything wrong with wanting something else, though

Are there inconveniences to being tall? I can't imagine any, with the exception of those at extreme heights.

well first of all, i wouldnt say that my height is in the "tall" range...
above average, true, but ive rarely had anybody act as if my height is worth commenting on

[ except a certain somebody... ]

personally, id rather have been about a hands width shorter

That can't be right! You're one of the tallest people I know! I'm surprised you don't get altitude sickness, you're so high up there!

[ what kaiser needs to understand about being short is that the countless microaggressions can eventually cause a permanent state of psychosis in the individual.... now that he's accepted his short(hehe)coming, riddle will need time to heal...... ]

I personally think your height is perfect for you. Being tall suits you well. Would taking a few centimeters off of you really make that much of a difference?

?
if i just walk around munich, i think about 1 out of every 5 men or so is taller than me...

[ tall has to be in at least the top 10%, in kaiser's opinion. he's just on the higher end of a normal range... ]

and yes, dont you think that would have to be the case if its my preference?
height affects what im particularly good at on the pitch. im not tall enough to excel much in plays that favor height, so i may as well have saved that hands width so i could be a bit faster
generally lower center of gravity helps with handling the ball more technically too

That's... Well, that's German engineering for you, I suppose. I ought to get out more.

[ honesty, after 5'10", it all just sort of blends together for him. at that point, people are just Tall and riddle's ability to give a fuck about the specifics flies out the window. much like his ability to give a fuck about this technical football nonsense. like, just have fun with your mates? who cares?? ]

I see.

[ he does not see! he's blind as fuck! ]

You really are dedicated to being the greatest in the world if you've thought it through that much. Because of that, I won't have you suffer through the questions and platitudes of a novice.

It's a shame you can't saw off a bit of your tibia and fibula without it potentially ruining your life. *Have* you gotten to the point where you considered surgery as well? I hope not.

Edited 2025-05-26 21:15 (UTC)

[ riddle doesn't have to worry about it — or maybe should worry about it even more now? — kaiser has entirely given up on getting riddle to realize on his own that he's not playing for the grimsby sunday league. he'll also never invite riddle to any of his games because he assumes there's a serious possibility riddle will have to consider killing himself if he realizes the magnitude of the stakes that kaiser plays for is several orders higher than what he seems to think they are. ]

not even once
professional athletes who blame their god given physique for their failures are third rate at best
one of the best german players in modern history has a rather unremarkable build, hes about the same height as me and is way skinnier

[ kaiser doesn't need to invite him, riddle's tall hot celebrity friend is taking him to watch bastard münchen play in the world cup on the 20th :') they'll be in a box high up where riddle can see aaaaall the people and cameras fixating on his special best friend's every move. it'll go fine! ]

I'm happy to hear that. I've always found your discipline and dedication to be admirable. I know it doesn't mean much coming from a pickleball player, but truly. With how easily people submit to mediocrity, being around someone who refuses all kinds of limitations is... Nice.

[ he'll just. leave it at that... ]

That's quite amazing. It just goes to show that hard work never goes unrewarded.

[ riddle wanted to say that kaiser, too, can become one of the modern greats as well as long as he keeps working hard, but stops himself because for all he knows, kaiser already is and he'll make himself look like an irredeemable idiot when all he wanted was to be encouraging. there truly would be no going back from that. better to just, once again, leave it at that. ]

[ kaiser wouldn't have minded on that basis, actually, because he may be a young talent who is literally generational, but plenty of young talents fall off. if he's still got the hype in 5 years, then he might start feeling tentatively okay with his trajectory. ]

well, i dont know about that
plenty of hard workers simply get unlucky. that wont be me or either of us, though

Let it be said hard work is its own reward, but that's a separate lecture altogether. I will spare you this time, because you're right.

Minor inconveniences such as luck, society, and fate will never be enough to stop people like us. Insufferable, stubborn, proud... Excellence is merely a matter of course. I will always believe in you and your unlimited potential. If anyone deserves to have his dreams come true, it's you.

[ no to that first part, and, well, hah! also no to that second part. ]

sure it is, and true, it is

[ it's okay, riddle knows kaiser isn't picking up what he's putting down. the most important part of the lecture was the segment about never losing heart no matter how impossible things may seem, and that kaiser will always have a soft, safe place with him. riddle concluded it would be unfair to ask kaiser to promise him he'll always believe in himself in the face of an unjust world... so, as he resolved to do before, he'll simply love and believe in his best friend enough for the both of them. it's fine. ]

Genau.

Well, this was a fine old chinwag. I have a lot I need to reflect on, but thank you for helping me come to terms with my vertical deficiency. I hope the rest of your day goes well too.

alles gut

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