Teatster Sunday

[cuntryroads]

RATE THAT CHEST MEME

You know the "rate that ass" meme? Well, here's a meme that allows you to rate the opposite! This includes a man's chest, a woman's chest, even a treasure chest if you're really into that sort of thing. Just show it off and give a rating from 0 (the absolute worst!!) to 10 (HELL YEAH) and go from there. Simple as that! And make sure to have fun!

Comments

[stealerofsouls]

[Sorry, DS. It's not a lady that's admiring you but a young, frail (painfully British) boy that looks a bit star struck at the wizard.

Of course, with DS being on the incredibly powerful magical persuasion, he can likely sense there's something off about this fellow white haired male. Some dark magic clinging to his soul. Something that isn't entirely interested in catching the mage's attention but can't do anything because it would endanger his host.

But that's beside the point. Ryo shakes his head and clears his throat before sheepishly asking:]

How were... you able to obtain that kind of physique, sir?

[No homo here despite the boy's ambiguous sexuality. Just king culture and admiration.]

[pervy_inuyasha]

[DS' gaze slowly shifts from where a distant Lars had been flapping his chubby little dragon body to Ryo. If the legendary wizard notices something, he says nothing about it.

His blue eyes flash--but for a different reason entirely.]

You want to know the secret to going from a shrimp to the living embodiment of a rock hard sex god. Sure you can handle the answer?

[stealerofsouls]

[Oh...! A real dragon! Ryo gives a big smile as Lars flies away, sort of wishing he'd come over but perhaps another time.

His attention returns to DS, eyebrows arched in question at the man's phrasing.]

Well, not a... sex god but it would be nice to not be so weak...

[You should probably get rid of that cursed Necklace hiding under your clothes then, Ryo. Because that's what's keeping you that way.]

[pervy_inuyasha]

My world is filled with ugly monsters and fat, pompous clerics. It's a brutal world of swords and magic where they gang up on the handsome main character because he's too amazing for them to handle one on one!

...

It takes too long to get to my level, kid. Just do some push-ups. Stay away from trendy diets.

[stealerofsouls]

[Oh no. He said the magic words. Pretty much all of them. Time for the young boy to go nerdy. Ryo's eyes light up and a smile appears across his lips as he continues to gaze up at DS in admiration.

You're not getting rid of him that easily.]

Oh...! You're from a fantasy world? I love tabletop games...!

Then... Hmm... judging by your attire, you're likely adventurer/magic user class? Which elements do you specialize in?

[He might have ignored the advice about pushups and diets. Far too excited to meet a real fantasy character.]

[pervy_inuyasha]

[Due to the nature of the man himself, DS doesn't blink at the reference to tabletops. Instead, he leans back and smirks.]

Yeah, it's got all that in it. I use whatever damn element I want. Mostly fire, lightning, illusion, charm, and a bunch of forbidden spells.

Every spell I pursued is mastered! And every woman~

[stealerofsouls]

Those are all rather different schools of magic so the fact that you've mastered them is quite impressive, sir! You must be one of the most powerful practitioners in your world!

[He folds his hands behind his back.]

I write a lot of fantasy campaigns but... I've no one to play them with, so to actually meet someone from such a world is... Well, it's like a dream come true and an honour.

[Ryo bows his head politely.]

I would love to hear about your adventures. Gosh, I can only imagine the extraordinary things you've done in your life.

[pervy_inuyasha]

What a giant nerd..

I get it. Don't worry kid, I'm as incredible as--no--I'm more now that I think about it, so make sure you write this down! First and most important!

Dark Schneider is the most powerful, well-endowed, and sexually proficient magic user ever!

[stealerofsouls]

[He's been called worse so it's not a big deal.

Oh. Uh. Shoot. He doesn't have pen and paper so he pulls out his phone and starts typing rapidly.]

I see, I see...

[Which gives him an idea...]

Care to tell me your story then, sir? I could record all of your adventures, this way even more people will know of the most powerful and handsome warlock to ever exist.

[Yeah, he's feeding DS's ego because he's a nerd and finds him entertaining.]

... Surely you'd garner more women for it!

[pervy_inuyasha]

True. My manga is one of the best selling of all time.

Fine! You can never have too many women anyway..don't let anyone tell you different. Having a harem should be the goal of every hot-blooded male!

Write that down, too.

[stealerofsouls]

[Ryo chuckles sadly to himself even as he types that into his notepad.

Then there's a pause.]

What if... you don't want the women?

[pervy_inuyasha]

Then you'll die alone in a rusty old shack~!

[stealerofsouls]

Why's that?

[pervy_inuyasha]

It's the law of love. If you reach a level where multiple women want to pamper and pleasure you, then let em.

It's only right.

[stealerofsouls]

Can I skip that step and not live in a old shack?

[pervy_inuyasha]

[Kids these days.]

Only if you accept that they love you! Why stop them? I don't! I jump in the middle and crowd surf their curves until we're all satisfied!

[stealerofsouls]

[Ryo is an odd one.]

Because I have a...

[He siiighs and hangs his head.]

.. A fanclub and... I understand that they like me. I accept that. I'm simply not interested in that though.

[pervy_inuyasha]

[More for him, seems like. Ah, well. May as well ask.]

What the hell do you care about?

[stealerofsouls]

[DS can have them.]

Building dioramas, studying the occult, and writing stories.

[He'd like more genuine friends but... the Ring keeps Ryo isolated. So he'll keep quiet about it.]

[pervy_inuyasha]

[He's more than happy to! Especially if they're hot.]

The occult..

[DS sucks his own teeth with a soft "tsk" sound.]

None of that will help you get stronger. Screw around and you'll lose your own damn soul!

[stealerofsouls]

[Sigh. Another one. Everyone always warns him about that.]

I find it fascinating. I'm careful though.

[No, he's not. Hence the cursed item he's hiding.]

But I'm not strong... Not physically. I've never been...

[pervy_inuyasha]

[DS gets up and bops Ryo on the head.]

[stealerofsouls]

!!

[He clutches his head.]

Ow! What was that for...?!

[pervy_inuyasha]

Don't you read!?

No story ends with occult nonsense and cursed bullshit without some kind of repercussion!

[DS bends down some and leans in. His face takes on an ugly, twisted, insane sort of look ripped right out the panel of his beautifully drawn manga series.]

Unless you're already cursed?

[stealerofsouls]

I know b-but...!

[Oh how the Spirit would love to reveal himself dramatically right now but that would be absolutely reckless.

So he keeps quiet. Leave it to his landlord though to not want to hide him better.

Ryo looks nervous, avoiding DS's gaze.]

I... might be...