bakerstreet | angst

Entry tags:

angst

ultimate angst meme

▶ Comment with your character and preferences/limits. The topics chosen for this meme can be distressing and too dark for some people. You're going to want to be specific on any lines that you don't want crossed.

▶ Find a character you want to tag. Hand them a prompt. Choose according to people's prefs. Be respectful!

▶ Cry. Cry later. Cry after that, too.

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A smile quirks on Kingsley's lips as he shrugs. "The world going to shit might be a good reason to forget taking care of yourself. Fortunately there are at least people to help remind you."

Another shrug. "The end of the world is probably as good a time as any."

Caleb's heart does a little flip flop at the smile and he shakes his head. Now is not the time to let his heart run away again. He had to focus on the matter at hand and worry about relationships later. "True," he admits, "I wish my mentor was not involved with us coming this way though."

“Hmm. Well, I suppose it had to be something. Anything less than urgent business would bring you all in my direction.”

There’s a bit of teasing in his tone, but in all honesty he had never really expected them to come by.

Caleb toys with his mug as he thinks. He knows Kingsley is teasing but he still feels bad that he let things go so long before seeing his friend again.

"Beau often is taking me to task for not visiting everyone more," he admits, "but Veth has her camp...Jester and Fjord are at sea more than land and Cad prefers to remain at the grove."

It's excuses he knows but what else can he says... It's not like he can admit seeing Kingsley hurts.

Kingsley shrugs a little. “It’s fine,” he replies casually. “Besides, you don’t know me as well as the others. Not really worth it to come all the way out here to see a virtual stranger.”

It was just because he’d spent less time around the rest of them, it only made sense. It was the main reason why he didn’t really visit any of them either.

"It still is not...fair," Caleb says, his fingers tapping the table, "I know it has been hard for everyone to get to know you because of...him. But that does not mean we should not try."

He takes another drink. "I should not let the feelings of the past color the chance to get to know you."

Kingsley is quiet for a moment, considering in Caleb’s words. Then, hesitating for just a moment, he asks softly, “Did you? Have feelings for him, I mean.”

Caleb sighs and slides some hair behind his ear. "Yes," he says softly, "I did and I do. Molly...he opened a heart that I was determined to keep closed off and sealed shut."

The wizard chuckles. "But Molly was determined too and he won that particular battle...but we never got the chance to...be more."

Kingsley hums thoughtfully, falling quiet again.

"...I'd always wondered." He wouldn't deny that he found Caleb attractive, and that he had ever since first waking up and meeting the Nein all over again. But a part of him was never sure if those were his own feelings or from the ones who came before him.

Caleb nods. "I assumed," he said, "with what you did when we said goodbye the first time. It felt good to hear you call me magic man." He flushes slightly as he remembers what else Kingsley did that was more Kingsley then Molly...not that Caleb didn't like it. The ass slap was just unexpected.

This soul seemed more like the blend of all Molly and Lucian were that was good and minus the memory loss and need for power. Part of him regretted staying behind on land when Jester, Fjord and King left to sall, but Caleb had had enough of adventuring for the time being and was ready to find a more settled path.

Kingsley laughs a little. "Well, I certainly don't regret that," he says with a grin. But his mood quickly sobers as his tail twitches behind him thoughtfully.

"...it does complicate things a little bit, though, doesn't it?"

"It does," Caleb admits, "you are your own person and yet when I look at you the feelings for Molly remain."He sighs and sips his drink. "And now that I have let Essek go..I am truly alone."

Kingsley frowns, his tail twitching curiously. “Essek? The drow?” He remembers just barely catching sight of him, and they never spoke. But he’d seen the way Caleb had been around him. “What happened?”

"I tried to make it work," Caleb said, "I did...but. I want more out of life now. And the fact he remains on the run is a...problem we cannot get past." He sips his drink. "I want a relationship like Fjord and Jester have. Out in the open....where I can be proud of being with them. I care for Essek I do. But I cannot wait and hope. I need someone else...I want someone else."

He sighs. "You must think me a fool for thinking so. Jester and Veth do."

Kingsley is quiet for a moment, his tail lazily swaying behind him. Then he shrugs.

“Honestly, it all sounds a bit foolish to me,” he says, shrugging his shoulder. “But everyone’s allowed to be foolish for something. And it matters more to you, as a human who doesn’t have as long as others. There isn’t anything wrong with wanting something more sooner.”

"It does," Caleb says softly, "I have this sense that whatever is coming next it will be big and I want....I want to be a part of it not as a professor, but an adventurer again...maybe as a pirate. If Darktow would have me of course."

He then shrugs. "I wouldn't want to get in your way."

Kingsley blinks, a bit surprised by that. But then he grins a little. “Hmm… actually, I think you’d make a pretty good pirate.”

Reaching over, Kingsley plays with Caleb’s ponytail a bit. “We’ll have to get you a better outfit, of course. But the hair and beard can stay.”

Caleb chuckles. "I would happily allow you to dress me my friend as long as there was a coat. I am quite fond of wearing them." He throws Kingsley a wink. "I am told they look very dashing on pirates these days or so my students say."

Kingsley grins. “Well, that’s a given.” He gestures to his own coat. “Jester actually gave me mine, but I’m sure we can find the right one for you.”

His expressions sobers for a moment, and he places a hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “You’re sure about this, though? It’s quite a change.”

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