Send me love

[inuyasock]

the phone sex +
sexting meme

what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, whatever your heart desires.

Comments

monkey d. luffy ( one piece )

[mugiwaras]

[sanji]

OI LUFFY!!!!!!

WHY'S THE KITCHEN LOCK BROKEN????

[mugiwaras]

I DIDN’T HAVE THE KEY!

WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO??

[sanji]

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED IN THERE PERIOD

[mugiwaras]

WHO SAYS? IT'S NOT LIKE YOU COOKED ALL THE FOOD IN THERE!

[ except the whole point is for sanji to cook the things luffy just ate... ]

1/2

[sanji]

BECAUSE IT'S THE FOOD MEANT TO BE COOKED LATER
THAT'S WHAT A FRIDGE IS FOR

[ he's dying here, bruh ... ]

[sanji]

luffy........................

do you realize that you emptying the fridge means i have to restock....
which means asking nami for the money to buy it ..................
and do you know how disappointed she'll be in me..................................

[ "disappointed" being the nice way to put it, since really, she'll rip his ass apart. and not in the good way he'd like her to do! ]

[mugiwaras]

I AGREE
THE FRIDGE ALSO HAD STUFF I COULD EAT ALREADY THOUGH
SO I DID!!!

in fact i'm still eating stuff.
just tell nami if she hands over the money she can raid the fridge with me too!

[ what a way to broker peace among his crew... ]

[sanji]

HOW ARE YOU STILL EATING????

[ did he just steal everything to keep nibbling around the ship like a damn gremlin?? ]

THERE'S NO MORE FRIDGE RAIDING AND NAMI-SAN DOESN'T WANT THAT
but you're gonna be the one to tell you you stole all the food and need the money to give me to buy more

[mugiwaras]

IT'S A BIG FRIDGE!

AND COLD CHICKEN'S WAY BETTER THAN I THOUGHT!

but okay, sanji! i'll tell her everything

including whatever you said about worrying real bad you'll disappoint her. that seems important!

[mossheaded]

oi
you lose a bug?

[ he doesn’t know of anyone else who collects beetles, but… ]

[mugiwaras]

HEY! how many horns does it have? is it a big bug??

[mossheaded]

seems big
3 horns

[ he has no idea what’s big for a bug. large enough to give nami or the cook a heart attack, if they’d stumbled upon it. ]

sound familiar?

[mugiwaras]

wait a sec
3 horns...
3 swords...

i bet my atlas beetle wants you to teach it santoryu! no wonder it disappeared!

[mossheaded]

huh

[ that bug was originally going to ‘mysteriously’ disappear, but now he’s looking at it again. ]

heard theyre pretty strong for their size

[mugiwaras]

that's what i heard too
but since i don't really know for sure uhh
thumb wrestle him and find out!!

if he can flip you over he's joing our crew. CAPTAIN'S ORDERS!

[mossheaded]

beetles dont have thumbs

[mugiwaras]

so stick your thumb in his horns and see what he does. DUH!

drags hands down face and yolos

[cocoyashi]

No! Absolutely not!

LMFAO

[mugiwaras]

WHY NOT?



wait WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT??

[cocoyashi]

You know what we're talking about, and don't do it!

[ Look. It's a safe bet he's doing something he shouldn't. ]

[mugiwaras]

But that one kung-fu dugong followed us all the way here, nami

WHY CAN'T I INVITE HIM TO JOIN OUR CREW??

[cocoyashi]

We can barely afford to feed everyone as it is, idiot. Unless you're going to eat less so we can save money, THE DUGONG IS NOT STAYING.

Not to mention, your clothes smell weird enough already. No way!

[mugiwaras]

That's hard... and cooking him would be a waste of a good fighter... so

OKAY! NO DUGONG!

And you're right, we didn't wrestle enough. This is how I always smell.



LEMME WRESTLE WIH HIM ONE MORE TIME BEFORE HE GOES!

[cocoyashi]

WHAT DID I TELL YOU IN MY FIRST MESSAGE?? NO. You're going to get dugong smell everywhere!