bakerstreet | fail smut

[Am I winning or losing against the batting filled, 60% polyester 40% cotton, transfer printed hussy? Is the first major fight of our relationship really going to be over decorative bedding? Does Idia know how many underclassmen would cream their school issued trousers to be in bed with him (sure half of those are also afraid, but boners don't discriminate. Horny is horny is horny.)?]

[Idia is way too aware of that at all times, it's why he's so fucking confused about how he got here. "Here" being a romancable option and also getting dry humped by Azul Ashengrotto in his own bed. Do the math, this is the most unlikely scenario.

... Tentatively leans down to kiss Azul. Chaste. Apologetic.]

... Fine.

[Weakly crawls off of Azul and delicately puts Ai-chan away, tastefully tucking her behind a bookshelf where Azul can't see her. There must be some kind of flag etiquette for dakimakura known only to the most elite otaku. It'd be cringe and delusional to whisper an apology but the thought is there.]

[....relaxes a little at the kiss. Relaxes the rest of the way when Idia does put the bodypillow out of view. Azul is actually surprised Idia is compromising on this for him....]

Thank you.

[Crawls on top of Azul, wet and pathetic.]

... You'll get used to it.

[Begging pleading PLEASE!! Bold of him to assume there will be a next time tho. There's not going to be a swimming pool you stupid slut there won't even going to be a house!!]

[He is not about to ignite an argument about letting Ai watch. He IS going to reward Idia with a kiss though, mouthing and nipping along Idia's jaw, murmuring another little thank you against his skin. Congrats on hearing Azul's voice take on a quiet, fond quality usually reserved for large sums of cash and well designed stock portfolios.]

[Well... any grumpy standoffishness is etch-a-sketched away. A terrifying power because he should by all accounts be livid. Turning away Ai-chan like that... How is Idia supposed to be winning again??

...Well.

He practically collapses against Azul. That "thank you" and the quiet murmur of his voice... It swells in his chest, this unnamable emotion (it's called having a crush, it's called being in love but that sounds fake) that he'll definitely never figure out. He sighs against the touch, running his hand up Azul's side to cup the back of his head.]

Now...

[Grabs Idia's other hand, pressing a kiss to his palm before nuzzling into it]

Where were we?

[Holy shit it's like a dream come true. One of his stupid fantasies, seeing Azul like this. Of course, Ai-chan was also there but-- cope.]

I think I was making you cry.

....why is my type like this...

[T-type...]

Heh. As if you don't like it, too.

[To cry or to make someone cry? Yes.]

[Yes]

Perhaps we should see how much you enjoy it.

Seeing you cry? Yeah, I enjoy that.

[Big talk for a guy who still hasn't waddled out to change his pants and is in a sensory nightmare atm]

Not exactly. I was thinking you might enjoy seeing what it's like on the other side.

[Slides a leg (CAREFULLY THIS TIME) up between Idia's legs, expression twisting into something better reserved for a game of Monopoly]

... Would I?

[Oh he knows that look way too well. The leg does, in fact, feel like every bit of a threat that it is.]

You're a sore winner, too.

[Presses his thigh even higher, brushing up against the front of Idia's pants]

Terrible, really.

[he wants him so bad it makes him look stupid he wants him so bad it makes him look stupid he wants him so bad it--

Unfortunately that knee to the front of his pants is the last straw in his mounting discomfort. Fuck. Idia tries to escape to the side, even though he knows it's futile.]

BRB

[Reaches out and grabs the back of Idia's pants as he tries to escape from the bed-]

Just where do you think you're going?

[He's not a strategist, he has no idea how to girlboss his way out of this one.]

I'll be back. In like. 2 seconds.

The longer you leave me alone in here, the longer I have to snoop.

[Weighing the options in his head. Hm.... Idia tugs himself away from Azul's hold and, if he's able to step away a few feet, makes the choice not to choose.]

... I'm never gonna sleep around you.

[Lies. Lies! Anyway he's gonna turn around and take his pants off to wipe the come off of himself with his stupid jacket that's been thrown to the floor already. Nasty boy behavior. Snoop away, cephalopod.]

[Absolutely going to make good on his promise by leaning over to open a desk drawer and peek inside. He will allow Idia SOME privacy for now....despite being deathly curious what a real landfolk dick looks like for comparison to make sure his came out right since the twins don't count either.]

[Lucky him, it's a winner. Alphabetically organized doujin and physical copies of eroge. Idia has very much compartmentalized his sexuality and it's localized entirely within a single drawer. All the while said loser is muttering uncomfortably, a "gross" and "ugh" here and there. Very sexy.

But he turns around and, yeah, that's some huge gamer schmeat he's got there. God nerfed him for this: ethereal beauty and a fat cock. Idia hasn't quite looked at what Azul is snooping at yet, though, still tossing the jacket to the side on top of a pile of cables. Nasty.]

[Pulls out one of the doujin at random…Ai again, huh…and starts to read through it. He will look up when he hears the jacket fall, getting ready to ask Idia when the last time he washed his bedding was-

…except that thought is completely derailed by a new thought that hits him like a freight train upon spotting the orca between Idia’s legs. Is that…how big they’re supposed to be? Is that normal? The twins are big but also they’re giants. Is this a tall person thing or is that size land standard?]

[She looks so demure, drawing her hands down the length of her torso and dipping her fingertips between her (anime "ah~" sound effect)

Meanwhile all 6 feet of Idia is standing there with his dick out, looking surprised as if he himself didn't do that.]

P-put that away!!

[Glances between the doujin and Idia's dick, not sure where he should be focusing his attention]

This does it for you?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject