Valentine's Day Sexting!

[legit]

the phone sex +
sexting meme

what it says on the tin. leave a blank comment, include your preferences or a starter, it's all good. reply to others with a text, a dirty picture (please link all nsfw things!), misfires, misdials, drunk filthy voicemails, sexy skype sessions, whatever your heart desires.

Comments

don't look at me.

[alphaophiuchi]

[ this is possibly the worst misfire that could have ever occurred in the history of ever: ]

I've been thinking about you ;)

[ also, no one ever said he was good at this rot. ]

LOOKS AT YOU

[engorgimpressed]

[Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Normally a normally normal thing to say possibly but there's a winky face.]

What did I do???

HIDES

[alphaophiuchi]

IGnore that

[ gods fu- Merlin's b- dfasf. ]

That wasn't for you. Go back to whatever you were doing. Go to your room.

[engorgimpressed]

Who was that SUPPOSED to be for? Wait no nevermind I don't want to know don't tell me I don't want to knwo

You can't send me to my room! I didn't do anything wrong! AND I'm an adult!

[alphaophiuchi]

I'm not telling you that. That's on a need to know basis only.

And I can do whatever I like, I'm your father

[engorgimpressed]

Okay well I don't want to know anyway so good!!!

And I can do whatever I like too because I am an adult and that means I don't have to listen to you if I don't want to so there

And if you're going to have someone OVER I'd rather be out of the manor entirely.

[alphaophiuchi]

Oh yes, you very much sound like an adult. I'm terribly impressed right now, Scorpius.

I'm not going to have anyone over. It was only a text

[ rampant mortification: get ]

[engorgimpressed]

And if your dad sent you a text like that by mistake I'm sure you'd act really adult about it too!!!!

I mean if you WANTED to have someone over then that's okay I guess just let me know first so I can be gone for it.

[alphaophiuchi]

Ew

[ yeah, he's gonna ew like a mo'fuckin' adult. ]

I'll be sure to give you a few days' notice so you can schedule some sort of excuse to be casually away from the house.

[engorgimpressed]

Exactly my point!!!

A few HOURS notice will probably suffice but appreciated!!

[Merlin but the thought of his dad..... dating someone is weird. It's been a long time but........ it's still weird.]

[alphaophiuchi]

You've got an awful lot of enthusiasm. Should we discuss this properly?

[ ...yeah. It's weird for him, too. ]

[engorgimpressed]

I always have a lot of enthusiasm dad it's my THING.

We could though? Or we could keep texting. That'd be fine too.

[alphaophiuchi]

True. It's frightening. I'm not sure where you got it from

I think we should keep texting instead. Tell me about your day.

[engorgimpressed]

Well I dunno either dad it's just me

[Might have hit a bit of a nerve there]

It was going fine and relatively unawkward until I got this weird text from my dad.

[alphaophiuchi]

Didn't say it was a bad thing, did I?

And then you decided to respond to said text. Tsk. Have I taught you nothing?

[engorgimpressed]

If I hadn't you might have thought it went to the right number and then where would we be????

[alphaophiuchi]

Somewhere terrible, probably

I like to think we could have managed anyway. We always do.

[engorgimpressed]

Precisely!!

Well maybe probably but it would have been terrible as you said so best to avoid it!

[alphaophiuchi]

!!

So tell me about the other unawkward things you've been doing with your day!

[ avoidance! ]

[engorgimpressed]

[ugh no it's weird when you do it dad stop]

I got a text from Albus and he was doing this weird hissing thing but then he got mad because it didn't work with the word "excellent" and he stopped.

[alphaophiuchi]

[ gently makes fun of u. ]

The two of you are a never ending souce of entertainment, truly. Only a Potter would get mad at a word for not working with a new game.

[engorgimpressed]

[uggggghhhhhhh you're the Worst!!!!!!!]

Dad you threatened to hex the stove for "making the kettle boil over" when you forgot you were making tea.

[alphaophiuchi]

[ this number one dad mug disagrees with you ]

Perhaps it shouldn't have heated up so quickly then. I could have sworn it took much longer the last time I bothered.

[engorgimpressed]

[He's going to take it back if you're not careful!!!]

It can't understand you it's a stove!!!!!

[alphaophiuchi]

[ noooooooooo- ]

That's not the point!