lovemod (
lovemod) wrote in
bakerstreet2017-01-27 07:12 pm
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Be there to comfort you
![]() meme Bruised. Beaten. Stabbed. Sapped of energy. Tricked. Mentally played and abused. Perhaps you've even seen your home world destroyed, depending on how Homestuck you are. Any way you slice it, characters go through a lot of crap. There's nothing wrong with wanting to see them get pampered and taken care of when they're ailing. In canon, they may not have someone who can provide them with care when they're injured, support and love when they're sick, and physical intimacy all around. In this post, AU or other scenarios can provide them with a caretaking partner of their very own (or, maybe, someone to take care of, if the reverse is their preference). So, for once, weary traveler, you don't have to carry that weight all by yourself. | |||
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Reinhardt Wilhelm | Overwatch | OTA
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The others had dispersed not long after the fight, those who were well enough going to survey the area for any more signs of danger and others returning to the ship to tend to their injuries. Lucio and Reinhardt stayed behind for now to rest up in what looked like a cellar area near the bridge.]
Reinhardt, hey...
[Lucio is kneeling beside the slumped crusader, worry knitting his brows as he places a hand on the other's armored bicep. In his other hand is his sonic amplifier, a familiar soothing song playing from it. It could only do so much for Reinhardt right now, but with time his wounds would heal. At least they weren't in any immediate danger now. Hopefully.
Injuries aside, however, something about Reinhardt's demeanor since arriving to Eichenwalde has Lucio feeling so very concerned. He's quietly guessed that this abandoned town is a significant place for his older lover, but he doesn't know the whole story.]
How are you feeling?
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He had known it stepping into this place, but he hadn't been able to refuse the request. As a hero, he wouldn't be able to look himself in the face in the mirror if he left his friends to go into Eichenwalde without him a second time.
And perhaps that's why this was so hard. Because he knows that he should have been here. He should have been part of the brave last stand of the Crusaders. Instead, he had been somewhere else. He had been on some mission for Overwatch, lending Morrison his shield instead of fighting and dying with honor and glory like the rest of his brothers.
And here he was now, an old worn crusader walking in the town where his mentor had been born. Where the man he had loved and idolized and done everything to be like had also died. Where the sounds of the fighting echoed too loudly and the nostalgia of it all made him a liability.
When every corner held a ghost it had been difficult for him to focus on the present and now that the battle was over and it was just himself and Lucio, he could finally take off his helmet and let go. But he can't. Instead, his voice echoes from inside it, sad, tired, the opposite of everything he is. It's like this place as stolen every ounce of his overly jovial nature. ]
I'm fine, Lucio... You did a fine job keeping us all whole out there. Unlike me. I won't be getting any gold stars today."
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Say what? C'mon, man... if we didn't have you and your shield, we'd all be in little itty bitty agent pieces right now.
[He jokes, but it feels humorless, especially with the heaviness in the air. Lucio sets aside his amplifier and stands up, then reaches over to carefully remove Reinhardt's helmet for him.
When he sees the weariness and sadness on the crusader's usually smiling face, Lucio's heart drops. Whatever pain had consumed Reinhardt since stepping into this village, the medic didn't want him to feel like he had to face it alone.
He cradles the large helmet under one arm as he leans in close, placing a kiss on the corner of his love's mouth, then gently rests his forehead against his. A quiet gesture of closeness to let the old lion know that he is there, just for him.]
Querido, talk to me. Please.
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The stale air of the abandoned cellar hits his sweaty face and for a moment he closes his eyes against it. It keeps him also from seeing Lucio's reaction to his face. He knows what he must look like right now. Hair wild from being stuck in the helmet and wet with sweat. His usually smiling face a deep frown that emphasizes all his wrinkles. He looks every second of his age and then some.
He opens his eyes again when he feels the soft kiss and the forehead against his. He takes a slow shaking breath and wraps one large arm around Lucio. He knows it must not be soft or nice to feel but he needs the closeness right now more than anything. ]
This...I lost everyone here... [ This place reminds him of just how much he has lost. ] One day when I am gone, I want to be put here, with my brothers. With Balderich.
[ It's not often at all that he ever speaks about his old mentor. There are too many unresolved feeling there. Just as there were too many in this place. ] I should have been here then. I should have been with them. And every step I take in this place reminds me that I abandoned them all here to die.
[ Only he knows he hadn't. He'd already been part of Overwatch at that point. He had been halfway around the globe when the battle here happened. But Reinhardt takes his responsibility very seriously and there is also a small part of him that feels like he was denied the glory and the honor of dying in such a battle. ]
I failed them and today I nearly failed you. You could have been really hurt. I could have lost you here too.
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There were many things about his older lover's past that the medic didn't know. He'd hear small inklings of his history here and there, whatever Reinhardt volunteered without him prying, but there was still a lot of mystery. Lucio was sure of one thing, however.]
No. You didn't abandon them. I know you would have been here with them if you could.
[He pulls back slightly so he can look at Reinhardt properly, his hand moving from his jaw so he could brush back his messy, still damp hair away from his face.]
You protected me and everyone with your life, just like you always do. And I know the reason you weren't here before is because you were protecting even more lives, lending your strength to an even bigger fight for the world.
I hate what's happened here, that you've lost so many important people to you, but none of it is your fault. You aren't responsible for the omnic crisis.
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But here, in this place, he's finally eroding and the sharp edges are starting to show. The cracks in his armor where it's not so shiny and bright anymore. And a part of him fears that such a weakness from him might chase this man away because Reinhardt has always been strong. Always faced down countless enemies both real and imagined with a smile on his face and a war cry on his lips.
He swallows a lump in his throat and leans against Lucio's touch. His hands tremble a little in his heavy gauntlets but he keeps the young man held close to him as if he's certain he'll vanish if he lets go. ]
I know I'm not responsible for it. And I know they would have fought here no matter what. What they did here...it saved Germany that day. They all made the greatest sacrifice a warrior could give and saved an entire nation in doing so. And I'm even more certain that he was glorious until his last breath but.... [ He trails off because he knows his being here at that time would have changed nothing except leaving Overwatch with one less stalwart guardian. His being here meant he would have never met Lucio. ]
It...just hard... and all I can think is that right now, they're all here. They are all here and watching me. Watching me and hating me because I got to go gray. Vengeful spirits of fallen knights... [ Because Reinhardt has that sort of active imagination and he could picture battered armor brought to life with the spirits of the dammed, coming to wreck vengeance on him because he had gotten to grow old. ]
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The medic had no naive visions of healing away decades of deep seated suffering, because knew as much as anyone that pain was a part of life; he just didn't want the crusader to ever feel he had to suffer alone. Or that he deserved to.]
Your brothers were amazing people... your mentor especially. Not only did they fight and give their lives to save their country, but they inspired a great man like you to dedicate his life to justice and defending the weak. Not just for Eichenwalde, or even Germany, but for the entire world.
[As he holds Reinhardt's weary head in his hand, Lucio looks directly at him with a steely, determined gaze.] I believe they are watching you, but not as ghosts trapped in this place. They're with you always, Reinhardt, wherever you go. When you take up your shield and your hammer, I know they're beside you, doing the same.
How could they watch you with anything but pride and love? You are their brother, the last Crusader, carrying on their memory and honor every time you fight for what you believe in. Every time you lend your shield to the helpless, your friends, to me. They are with you.
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This helped too, in a fashion. It helps to hear that maybe he's wrong about it. Maybe they don't hate him or blame him. Maybe there isn't the ghosts around the next corner, waiting to demand why he was alive and happy while they weren't.
He closes his eyes and leans heavier into Lucio's touch. His arms clutch tighter. His shoulders shake as he tries to keep it in. He doesn't want to sob now. Not now. ] You think so? You really... [ He swallows down a lump in his throat and shakes his head a little. ] I don't deserve you... Thank you. I know it's a lot to ask, but could you just look over there for a moment.
[ He doesn't want Lucio to see him lose it. ]
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As he feels Reinhardt begin to tremble, the medic leans into him and wraps his arm around his neck in a tight but careful hug.]
You don't have to hide, you know. Lean on me. Let me be your support.
[He rests the side of his head against his lover's, chin on his armored shoulder, and closes his eyes. He's not looking.]
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The DJ has always been such an amazing support system. He wonders if Lucio is even aware of how strong he is. How amazing he is. Still, Reinhardt presses his forehead into that small shoulder and resisted. Just for a moment longer.
For a loud man, his released grief is almost too silent. It's just the heavy shaking of his shoulder and the wetness of one eye falling on the place where he's resting against Lucio ]
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It's silent where they are in the old cellars, Lucio's amplifier having shut off automatically a few minutes ago since it's not connected to him. Hopefully the music had done enough to ease the injured lion of his physical pain.
Eventually the quiet is broken by the medic's soft humming. It's unfamiliar, unlike anything found in his songs: a gentle melody, almost like a lullaby. It's something he's remembering from his own past to help comfort and soothe his guilt and grief stricken lover. He hopes it helps.]
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He is shocked by the soft sound. It's unlike any of the music Lucio has played before. He closes his eyes and lets the sound wash over him. He doesn't know the song. He doesn't know the significance. He just knows that the sound makes him feel slightly less like this place was eating him alive.
It still takes a moment for him to stop. His breath a shuddering sigh as he starts to pull himself back together. Still, he lingers against his small support for a moment longer to whisper. ] Danke. I'm sorry...for all of that. But thank you. Now, could you help me with my helmet. I don't want the others to see my face when we have to walk though this town to get back to the transport.
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His humming stops and he turns his head slightly to kiss the crusader's temple when he feels him shift in his arms. He pulls back carefully and looks at him with a soft smile.] Don't apologize. Seriously. You can talk to me any time... or if you don't want to talk, just lean on me. Just don't ever be sorry for it.
[He gently wipes away the remnants of Reinhardt's tears and leans in to kiss him softly a few times: on his forehead, his cheeks, and finally on his lips.] I love you, Reinhardt, and I'm always here for you. And I meant everything I said. [He hopes that, eventually, he'll be able to think about his brothers' love more instead of his heavy guilt.]
[Lucio moves back and looks down by their sides, finding the heavy metal helmet and bending to pick it up.] Here you go, big guy. [After handing it back to him, he picks up his amplifier and hooks it back up to the rest of his equipment.]
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Still, soon as he has his hammer slung over one shoulder, he's reaching out with that huge gauntlet. He seeks Lucio's hand. Even if he's in armor and can't really feel that small palm, knowing he has it in his grasp and knowing that Lucio is there will make walking back through the city to the extration point easier. ]
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Once out of the cellar and on their way back to the ship, Lucio looks up at the sky and sighs. It's a deceptively nice day out in this melancholy place. After a few moments of walking in silence, he speaks up in hopes of helping to ease Reinhardt into a more comfortable mood.]
My vovó--sorry, I mean my grandma--taught me that song I was humming earlier. Apparently my grandad wrote it for her when they were around my age now.
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Lucio's voice helps him ignore things and he can't help but smile just slightly. It's a weak thing hidden by his armor. ] So talent runs in the family. Your grandmother was a lucky woman to have a song composed for her.
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That song he wrote for her was saudade. [He glances back at Reinhardt and smiles fondly at him as they continue to walk hand in hand.] The closest word for that in English would be... longing, or nostalgia, probably. It's a romantic kind of melancholy that's important to my people. It's actually kinda funny because I think he proposed to her with that song.
[A part of him worries that he might be bothering Reinhardt with his talking, that maybe he'd just prefer silence while they walk back to the ship, but the medic continues anyway. He's ready to quiet down if need be, though.]
Vovó used to hum it to me whenever I was angry or upset, but she never sung the lyrics. She kept them close to her heart, I guess, or maybe it just hurt too much to remember them. But the melody always helped me calm down, even if it was kind of sad. I don't think I'll ever forget it.
[As his rambling goes on, they pass by the gate that leads back into town. As the ruined shops and rusted parts of long dead omnics come into view, the medic fully turns around to face Reinhardt in an effort to keep the crusader's attention on him. He continues to lead him with a careful hand, now drifting backwards on his skates.]
Anyway... I'm going to write a song just for you someday, Reinhardt. Something unforgettable. But it'll be happy, not saudade, so you don't have to remember any more sad things.
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That sounds very romantic indeed. I would have liked your grandfather, I think. [ There would always be a wonder if Lucio's family would have liked him. They are such an unconventional couple. But it's not something he dwells on long. Lucio loves him and he loves Lucio and even as much of a knight as he is, he doesn't need to seek permission or familial blessings to continue their relationship.
His hand tightens just a little when they get into the town proper. The memories are stronger here. The little bakery where his name is still on the board as their best customer. The bar where he and his fellow Crusaders carved their names into the table before he left for Overwatch. The beer garden where his mentor had shared many many ales with him as they talked about the future and what would come after they had won.
He quickens in pace. He won't run. He's not a coward. But he does hurry a little more. His voice is strained distraction in his helmet. ]
You will? I would like that very much. It might even take the place of True Survivor as my favorite song. [ Which is the highlight of praise for Reinhardt. It's been impossible to remove Hasselhoff from his number one position for nigh on 50 years now. ] I will wait for that day. You always give me so much to look forward to. [ He needs that since right now, looking behind him hurts too much. ]
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Though their relationship has been a secret up till this point and would remain so indefinitely, Lucio looks forward to the day he can show off Reinhardt to his loved ones back home. He's never really cared about societal limitations and rules, only happening to obey them if they fell in line with his own morals and beliefs, so he's ready to open up about their relationship whenever Reinhardt is -- if he ever wants to, that is. He knows that there are plenty of reasons to keep to themselves for now, however, most notably because of Overwatch's rules and regulations.
The medic watches Reinhardt carefully as he continues to lead him while skating backwards. Despite his armor covering the crusader, he feels the tension in his hold and pays careful attention to the sound of his voice. He hides his worry with a smile full of optimism while quickening his stride, not wanting to linger too long around these places that undoubtedly held even more ghosts for his poor lover.]
Whoa, I could save you from the 'Hoff? Might have to put the rest of my album and tour on hold till I get this done for you then! [He teases him to hopefully distract him more. Thankfully, the ship is coming into view, peeking out from behind the beer garden building.] Or, if you really want something to look forward to, I ought to get you to come to one of my shows some time. I bet you'll fall in love with me all over again once you see me in my element.
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Ja. You might. It's a tall order though. There is nothing so great as Looking for Freedom. [ His usual exuberant love of the Hoff is even reserved, downright quiet. Even more so when he sees the transport right there, waiting for him. He can't just run, but there is a subtle shift. He's forcing himself straight and tall. He's making himself at least look like there's nothing wrong. He doesn't need the rest of the team worried about him. ] One of your shows? Really? You would really want me there? I wouldn't be out of place? [ He almost can't imagine himself at one of the DJs shows. A huge old man surrounded by a sea of young people. ] I would like to see that. I'd like to see you on stage, liebchen.
[ Mostly, he wants to be on that ship and back to Gibraltar or anywhere that's not here. ]
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He keeps on smiling, keeping up that aura of positivity to hopefully mask the crusader's pained stride and spirit. There's a part of him that wants to encourage him to let his guard down a bit so his friends can help him, but he also understands that there is pain that can't be alleviated by sharing. He's still thankful that he shared with him at all, and Lucio is there to pull Reinhardt back out if he retreats too far into his armor.]
Say what? Of course I want you there! [Lucio almost scoffs at the question, shaking his head as they make their way up the ramp of the ship.] All sorts of people come to my concerts, y'know. Young, old, human, omnic... [He trails off, waving his freehand to imply the 'etcetera'.] Oh, man, I even saw a dog at one of my shows and it was the best thing ever. So there's definitely a place for you there! I'll get you a front row ticket and a VIP backstage pass for one of my next shows.
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He hopes he make it to the equipment area in the far back of the plane away from any windows. So that he doesn't have to see that graveyard from above. That way he can remove his armor and wedge himself in there and pretend to sleep with just enough room for Lucio to squeeze in next to him. ]
Then I will be there. I might not be a great as a dog but I would love to see you in your element as you have already seen me so many times in mine. So I will accept those tickets.
[ He keeps his tone light and makes sure the others can hear the last part, in as warm and energetic a voice as he can manage. ] Just be sure you play the greatest music of all time. It's not a concert without Hasselhoff!
[ Yet as soon as he's far enough back, his shoulders sag again. He's not sure he can take his armor off right now. Not with so many of his brothers sleeping nearby. ]
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With the pair of them now on board, the ship was ready to set off to head back to Gibraltar. Lucio looks up at Reinhardt as he briefly puts on that boastful air and is quick to jest back at him to keep up appearances, all the while making their way towards the most secluded area of the ship.] Are you kidding me? Those dusty 'n old, dated tunes at my concert? I think you took one too many hits to your helmet, old man.
[It's just some playful ribbing for show, but Lucio does keep a mental note. No doubt that having Reinhardt see him perform would be an extremely special occasion, so he'll definitely set aside some time and resources to make it extra enjoyable for him. Even if it did mean actually listening to True Survivor and other "classics" in his free time...
Once they reach the empty seats in the back near the equipment, Lucio remains standing and watches Reinhardt seat himself down first. The air around them becomes quiet save for the humming of the ship's inner-workings and faint murmuring from their comrades' conversations elsewhere on the ship. The medic places a hand on the crusader's armored shoulder and speaks gently.] You might feel better if you take your helmet off. I won't let anyone bother you. [He suggests it but doesn't push him too much.] Want me to get you some water or anything?
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He still breathes out a small sigh and considers for a moment. Lucio might not be an unmovable object like he can be when he sets his feet, but he's almost just as bad when he's stubborn. There was no one he's ever met who is so adamantly pigheaded about the things he wants. He finds that cute and right now he knows that if Lucio says no one will bother him then no one will.
Slowly, he pulls his helmet back off and puts it down. He reaches for the fasteners of his armor. But his hands fumble a little. He swallows a little and whispers softly. ] Help me take it off? I don't think I can do it on my own. It's just...really heavy right now. [ It's the weight of the memories tied into the armor that makes it so. ]
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