bakerstreet | the picture prompt

[ ooc: ~~as I belatedly realize that picture prompts are hard~~ lemme know if this works for you! I can also switch to prose or a different tense, whatever you prefer. ]

Hey, did mom take us to the beach when we were kids?

[ The question comes completely unprompted over a Nino's pizza, in which, until about two seconds ago, Matthew had been thoroughly invested. Now he's seemingly forgotten about the half-eaten slice in his hand in favor of fixing Ronan with an earnest stare from across the table. ]

I asked Declan and he said he didn't remember.

[ But Matthew woke up this morning with a recollection of salty water and sand in his shorts and his brother trying to build an impossible castle with toy shovels and he wants to know it wasn't just a dream. ]

[ooc no worries! this is great ]

[ Ronan glances over at Matthew's question, a little surprised by it. He's just finishing up a slice when it comes out of the blue. He nods a little. ]

Yeah, we were six and three, maybe a little older. Declan was grounded so he had to stay with Dad.

[ It wasn't just a dream. They'd had so much fun laying in the ocean and making sand castles. They'd fallen asleep in the car sandy and salty, sunburned and exhausted from their day at the beach. ]

Why?

[ Matthew bobs his head while Ronan's talking, thoroughly pleased to have the memory confirmed, and remembers his pizza again. He has to finish chewing before he can answer. ]

I couldn't tell if I was remembering it right.

[ He takes another eager bite and talks around the food this time, somehow doing that Matthew thing and remaining pleasant while doing so even though it should be gross. ]

You know how when you're sleeping and your brain makes stuff up?

[ He nods as he takes another bite then speaks with his mouth full. ]

You were.

[ While Matthew remains pleasant, Ronan is just gross doing it. He almost laughs at Matthew's choice of words. ]

Yeah. It can seem real. [ His brow furrows a little. ]

You ever have nightmares like that?

[ Matthew stops eating again, and actually sets the slice of pizza back down like he can't think and hold it at the same time. ]

Sometimes...

[ Sometimes he dreams about being dragged from stifling blackness into a field of wildly burning cars. Sometimes he hears the heavy wingbeats of huge monsters. Those dreams only become nightmares if Ronan never shows up in them.

Luckily he hasn't had many of them. ]

Everybody thinks nightmares are real when they're happening though, don't they?

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[ It's a good Sunday for a drive, luckily for Declan, who has been impressively tolerant of his younger brother's tight-lipped insistence on dragging him out to some undisclosed location in the middle of the Virginia wilderness before Declan could turn around and head back to D.C. for another week. Matthew's sketchy directions probably haven't helped, either, but in time (and having burnt through a little more gas than necessary) the Volvo finally reaches its intended destination. The younger Lynch jumps forward in his seat and presses his hands to the dashboard, indicating their arrival. ]

Here! It's right here.

[ They're parked at the edge of a forest. Not just any forest, of course; the trees rising before them are Cabeswater in its full mysterious glory--rich with energy, a beautiful home for the beautiful woman who lives there.

Matthew hasn't said anything about their mother yet because he's not sure Declan would believe him. He's also not certain he isn't breaking some sort of unspoken rule of Ronan's by coming here without him, and the long, winding drive has allowed plenty of time for his guilt to become anxiety. But... this is more important, isn't it?

He flings the seatbelt away from himself and shoves the door open, not looking to see if Declan is following suit. ]

[He has literally no idea why they're here.

It's a good Sunday for a drive, and Declan almost always takes Matthew to lunch after church, to catch up with him, to make sure that everything is all right. It's one of the main reasons that he doesn't just find a church in D.C. to attend - that, and somehow, he can't shake it, he can't shake Henrietta, he can't shake the nearness to the Barns no matter how much Ronan thinks that he can. Declan isn't made of stone. He misses home, too.

But he has no idea why they're here and it's two hours if there's no traffic to get back to his sleek apartment in D.C., so when he gets out of his car he looks just a little annoyed.]

Where are we going?

Matthew!

[ Matthew hears the agitation in Declan's voice and it stops him in his tracks; he obediently trots back but his eagerness to get a move on is still evident in the way he takes hold of his brother's wrist with both hands, giving it a slight tug. ]

Just-- Come on, please, I promise it's worth it.

[ He twists his head to look back at the forest, as if Aurora might be standing at the edge with her arms open to them, proving his point.

She's not, of course. ]

[There's nothing here.

He worries for a minute that Matthew may have lost his mind. That the time is up on the dream little brother.

Or he got them lost.

Either way, Declan steps next to him, doesn't fight him off.]

Okay, you have fifteen minutes.

[As if he would really stick to that.]

Fifteen minutes. [ Matthew only agrees because he's sure Declan will change his mind later, and then he sets off again towards the edge of the forest, one hand still clasped around his brother's wrist. The trees close over them and this is it; if there is a rule then Matthew's really breaking it now. Why hadn't he just asked first?

It's never felt so dark in here before, and he definitely doesn't remember any mist creeping over the ground the last times. Normally this place feels magical in a good way. A raven calls out through the trees and he starts, his heart skipping a beat. Ronan...? But a quick glance around reveals no sign of their third brother and his near-constant avian companion. Matthew isn't sure if he's disappointed or relieved.

He clings to Declan's wrist a little tighter and keeps going, telling himself that everything will be much better when they find their mother. ]

[What's happening?

The thing about being the only person in this family who is a person is that while he's been wholly aware of magic (one day he had a baby brother, suddenly, curled up against Ronan in bed with him, and his father had laughed and taken Ronan and spun him round, and Declan remembers it entirely, he remembers even stranger things that Ronan has forgotten and he's kept it safe and secret) he's never really experienced it. Declan's world is wholly stable, wholly real.

This is making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, making him feel out of place and unwelcome, and he doesn't like it.]

Matthew-

[There's a gust of cold wind when he speaks. The trees are shaking and Declan can't hear what they're saying.]

[ It makes Matthew stop again, that sound. He lifts his chin and a listening look comes over his face. It's almost like-- ]

Oh, right. [ The expression disappears all at once and he laughs--though a little nervously--when he suddenly remembers what Ronan had told him not to forget. ] Don't think about bad stuff in here.

[ Cabeswater isn't a place for bad thoughts. It's sacred, like church, and just like God it was always listening. Matthew doesn't share that part aloud, thankfully, as it would probably only make Declan more convinced that he'd lost his mind.

He sets his mind on their mother, on the day she woke up and called him her love again. On Declan's face when he sees her again, fresh and happy and full of affection. It's enough to make the air feel less cold, at least to him, though the trees are still whispering to each other as Matthew, an obliviously magical creature himself, a dream born from this very place, starts forward again, this time leading his thoroughly normal brother with more confidence. ]

Matthew-

[He reaches for his brother's hand, the one on his wrist.]

Stop, stop-

[The wind picks up, the wind dies down, the wind picks up, and he's gripping Matthew's shoulders. Is he dreaming? Is this a dream? Declan doesn't sleep, he barely dreams, and he can't tell, he can't tell if that raven cackling above them is-

-he doesn't know.

Jesus Christ, he's starting to feel the pinpricks of fear against his heart.]

Where are we? Answer me!

[And for a moment, he looks like Niall in a temper.]

[ Matthew flinches slightly under Declan's hands, hearing his tone, seeing his expression, and it's enough to immediately leech away his short-lived certainty. ]

Declan, I'm sorry, don't be mad.

[ His brow is troubled, round eyes full of apology as he looks up to his brother. He should've asked somebody, should've brought Declan when everyone else was here too--now Declan's upset, Declan really doesn't want to be here, and it's his fault.

The explanations come spilling out of his mouth now, everything he can remember that seems important. ]

They said it's called Cabeswater. Normally it's not like this; when Ronan-- [ He immediately regrets mentioning Ronan when Declan is already like this but there's no taking it back. ] --and the others are here everything's different, like they make it happier. It's on one of those ley lines Gansey's been looking for and I had to bring you here 'cause being here is-- it's--

It's making mom better.

[ He stumbles over the last words like a child learning to walk, praying that Declan will believe him and understand why Matthew did this. ]

[He lets go of Matthew, and there's a strange series of emotions that pass over his face. Of course he knew that his mother wasn't at home anymore, because the home nurses still report to him. Of course he had tried to talk to Ronan about it because he knows, too, that Ronan found (found - dreamed??) the new will, and that's where what he knows ended. He thought that Ronan had moved her to some nursing home because in his weird Ronan way he wanted her to get the best care, and that he was just being a dick by not telling Declan but-

-but somehow this feels worse.]

Are you telling me that mom is here?

[Asleep here? No. Better. That's what Matthew said. Better. Awake.]

And you knew?

[ Matthew nods earnestly, without words, then hesitates for a moment before he continues nodding, more reluctantly this time. He can't lie and after blurting out so much at once now he doesn't know what to say at all. He wishes the truth were different from what it is.

Cabeswater is growing colder again, unseasonable frost creeping rapidly over the grass around his Sunday best shoes, and he folds his arms around himself, suppressing a shiver.

Whatever Declan says now, he guesses he deserves it. ]

[Declan looks away, suddenly, lets go of Matthew.

He's going to kill Ronan.]

Mom?

Mom?

[He yells it the second time, and then starts walking, yelling her name.

But Cabeswater isn't giving her up. Declan feels a kind of despair rise in him. He tries for a long time, but there's no reply, the only sound the noise Matthew makes following him. Finally he just stills and stands there.

For once he doesn't look like anyone else.

For once he looks like Declan, he looks like he's shattering, too.]

Edited (COMMAS) 2016-02-08 20:59 (UTC)

[ He follows Declan anxiously, waiting, waiting, waiting for Aurora to appear at any moment and smile at them both and make everything okay again.

It doesn't happen.

When Declan finally stops and Matthew comes up beside him, when he sees sees his brother's face--it's terrible. It's heart-stoppingly terrible, like the days following their father's death were terrible, when everything fell apart.

Matthew doesn't ask, he just puts his arms around him and clings, pressing his face into Declan's sleeve, like holding him will keep everything from falling apart again. ]

I'm sorry, Declan, I'm sorry... I'm sorry...

[ It's not fair, this doesn't make any sense, where is she? Does the forest only work when Ronan's here, too? Matthew can't suggest coming back with him, not when Declan is going to kill him; that's just another horrible fight waiting to happen, hateful words and fists slung at one another as if they no longer share the same blood and never shared the same home. And this time it feels like Matthew's fault. ]

[Declan takes a ragged breath, and then another, and he pulls himself together.

And he puts his arm around Matthew, and takes another ragged breath.

Lie, lie, lie- that's what he hears, inside his head, or maybe it's the laughing of the raven above them, but it doesn't matter because it's advice that Declan takes to heart.]

It's okay.

[It's not okay. He's going to murder Ronan. He's going to destroy him and break his face open. He's going to go back to D.C. and refuse to come to church. Invent new reasons. Tell Gansey that it's not his business anymore.

He feels ripped open and he lies.]

It's not your fault.

[Lie. Lie. Lie.]

Mom-

Has she asked. About me?

[ It doesn't feel okay, even with Declan's arm around his shoulders. It not "okay" just like the gun in the Volvo was never for "burglars" and the pills in their dorm were never for "ulcers".

"Like he thinks the truth'll fucking kill him."

That's what Ronan thinks. Matthew doesn't always know what to think, but he knows it isn't okay.

He lifts his eyes, bright with unshed tears, and as blue as if he'd been born into this family instead of dreamt, and he gives another tremulous nod. ]

Yeah, she-- she said I should bring you next time.

[ And that is not a lie. Of course she had asked about Declan. Matthew is her favorite, there's no denying it, but unlike their father who needed all of his things to be a particular kind of special, Aurora loves her sons without condition. ]

[He says it and Declan knows it's true, in some way or another. He presses his face against the top of Matthew's head.]

Hey.

Come with me to D.C. for a week. I'll call Aglionby.

[It's a petty, dirty sort of revenge. Pulling Matthew away from Henrietta. Taking him away from Ronan.

It's the first step in a dirty war.]

[ Matthew doesn't say anything at first, quietly thinking it through as he continues to hold on to Declan's jacket. Thinking, thinking, and then, in a small voice-- ]

Just a week, right?

[ He has no idea.

He just doesn't want to think about Declan going back alone, not after today. Ronan has his friends and their mom and whatever he's been doing at the Barns lately. It's not like he'll need Matthew for anything.

But maybe Declan does, in some way. ]

Matthew Lynch | The Raven Cycle

Re: Matthew Lynch | The Raven Cycle

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linking due to image size

lemme know if this works!

It does!

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/silent distressed screaming

I AM TERRIBLE

Sorry Matthew, mommy and daddy are going to fight again and IT'S YOUR FAULT

sadly true

I am seriously screaming