The Cockblock Meme

[thememesock]

Ain't no one gettin' laid tonight!



Taken from here!

Since certain people have been complaining about how everything's always about the smut... have a meme where no fucking will occur! This is so not about sex! Except it totally still is.


How it works:

• Reply with character name, fandom, preferences, etc.
• The person replying to you will set the scene. Things are hot and heavy, clothes are being removed, etc., etc.
• The next reply is when you roll for a reason why things go south. Like... south south. Not below the belt. There will be no happy funtimes below the belt!
  Alternatively, come up with your own reason why things go all to hell. There's plenty of options left unmentioned. But if you're pinning it on the other person, make sure the mun is OK with what you're saying about their character. This also goes if you roll the number II category. Crack =/= disrespect.

I. External reasons.

1. The phone rings. Could be important! Better pick it up. Sadly, your bed partner does not appreciate the urgency. Or maybe they're the ones insisting on picking it up, and you get ticked off.
2. The fire alarm goes off. It's probably a drill or something, right? Right? So what's that smoke suddenly appearing in your room for?
3. Blackout. Complete fricking blackout. Romantic? Well, at least one of you is worried enough to want to find out the reason.

II. You what now?!

1. What is that smell? Was the other person rude enough to stuff their face with garlic before meeting up with you? Did they cut the cheese?!
2. Something physical. The other person has an ugly scar, a beer belly... maybe a third nipple? Whatever it is, it's completely putting you off.
3. Similar to the previous one, but this is everything not natural - more along the lines of personal adornment. Horrible underwear, a weird tattoo... Or it could be their roots are really obvious this close up.

III. It's not you, it's me.

1. You need to go to the bathroom. No, seriously, you really, really need to go. Right now. Way to ruin the mood.
2. You say the wrong name. Of course your partner's not happy about that!
3. Personal Issues. If you're a man, maybe you can't get it up for some reason. Maybe you've drunk too much, and you're passing out. Maybe you're suddenly thinking about your favorite pet goldfish that died that very morning. (GOLDIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!)

Comments

France // Axis Powers Hetalia // Absolutely anything goes ♥

[france]

[floridaseceded]

[Are you enjoying her amazing ringtone yet? Because she apparently set her phone on the highest sound level possible.

Also it's leaping around the nightstand on vibrate.]

Arthur Auguste Angel || Blue Exorcist || OTA

[cockybastard]

Adult!Sarah Williams | Labyrinth | F/M

[labyrinthsolved]

Cheetara | Thundercats (2011) | F/M

[clericsdoitbest]

River Song | Doctor Who | ota

[hullo_sweetie]

Loki | mcu | m/m

[has_an_army]

Pepper Potts | mcu |ota

[walked_in_on_worse]

Umino Iruka | Naruto | OTA

[dolphin_rant]

asa ridley | oc | m/m

[ohhdeer]

Everett Young | Stargate Universe | OTA

[colonelcockblock]

arthur conan doyle | kuroshitsuji

[misterwordsmith]

ganymede | greek mythology | m/m

[hydrokhoos]

Naesala | Fire Emblem 9 & 10

[bloodpacts]

Edgar Roni Figaro | Final Fantasy VI

[edgar_roni]

Richter Belmont | Castlevania

[vampirekiller]

raziel, the angel of mysteries | judeo-christian mythology

[esotericism]

Jane Foster | Thor |ota

[nomoresmashing]

Molly Hooper | Sherlock | OTA

[thegirlwhocounted]

 

Arthur Pendragon | BBC's Merlin | closed, sorry.

[king]

let's make this glorrible. III-1

[servant]

Arthur...

[Merlin practically purrs his name, his breath hitching when the wet warmth of Arthur's mouth finds his earlobe. The build-up tonight has been especially good, even for them. It started with a little wine and a lot of kissing, both of which have left Merlin's head spinning and his mouth bruised like overripe fruit. He returned the favor by scratching red streaks down the king's shoulders.]

[Yes, the night looks very promising. Arthur might even give him tomorrow off. Well, he might excuse him from his morning chores, anyway.]

Arthur.

[His name a second time, Merlin's voice high-pitched and needy as he squirms underneath him.]

[But not for the right reasons. Merlin's hands slide to the front of Arthur's shoulders, pushing gently.]

Arthur, I have to pee.

Stephen Stills | Scott Pilgrim

[totallyinaband]

1-1

[beardy]

[ Joseph has turned the ringer off, but it persists, and even on the counter in the other room, the ring is shrill, insistent, annoying, and whoever is calling?

Won't.

Stop. ]

Howl | Howl's Moving Castle (book)

[conesoldstober]

Tony Stark {Iron Man - MCU}

[starkfuturist]

1:1 seems appropriate

[walked_in_on_worse]

[The lights were off, clothes were hitting the floor, and Pepper's back had just hit Tony's bed when JARVIS began to alert them to a call coming in for him. They both both seemed to be in silent agreement to ignore it in preference towards the press of lips and hot, eager flesh.

Then the call came again and JARVIS was insisting it was urgent.

This really wasn't helping the mood. Immediately Pepper pictured some kind of emergency going down, S.H.I.E.L.D could be calling, anything and everything could be going down when you happen to be dating a superhero]

Maybe you should take that call....

nepeta leijon | homestuck | aged up

[moirailcompass]

Letty Ortiz | Fast & Furious

[adrenaline_rush]

Rachel Green || FRIENDS

[isabigdeal]