The Meme Sock -- THE SOCK OF DREAMS (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thememesock) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
bakerstreet2012-05-04 07:09 pm
thememesock) wrote in bakerstreet2012-05-04 07:09 pm
The Cockblock Meme
Since certain people have been complaining about how everything's always about the smut... have a meme where no fucking will occur! This is so not about sex!
How it works:
- Reply with character name, fandom, preferences, etc.
- The person replying to you will set the scene. Things are hot and heavy, clothes are being removed, etc., etc.
- The next reply is when you roll for a reason why things go south. Like... south south. Not below the belt. There will be no happy funtimes below the belt!
Alternatively, come up with your own reason why things go all to hell. There's plenty of options left unmentioned. But if you're pinning it on the other person, make sure the mun is OK with what you're saying about their character. This also goes if you roll the number II category. Crack =/= disrespect.
I. External reasons.
- The phone rings. Could be important! Better pick it up. Sadly, your bed partner does not appreciate the urgency. Or maybe they're the ones insisting on picking it up, and you get ticked off.
- The fire alarm goes off. It's probably a drill or something, right? Right? So what's that smoke suddenly appearing in your room for?
- Blackout. Complete fricking blackout. Romantic? Well, at least one of you is worried enough to want to find out the reason.
II. You what now?!
- What is that smell? Was the other person rude enough to stuff their face with garlic before meeting up with you? Did they cut the cheese?!
- Something physical. The other person has an ugly scar, a beer belly... maybe a third nipple? Whatever it is, it's completely putting you off.
- Similar to the previous one, but this is everything not natural - more along the lines of personal adornment. Horrible underwear, a weird tattoo... Or it could be their roots are really obvious this close up.
III. It's not you, it's me.
- You need to go to the bathroom. No, seriously, you really, really need to go. Right now. Way to ruin the mood.
- You say the wrong name. Of course your partner's not happy about that!
- Personal Issues. If you're a man, maybe you can't get it up for some reason. Maybe you've drunk too much, and you're passing out. Maybe you're suddenly thinking about your favorite pet goldfish that died that very morning. (GOLDIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!)
no subject
[Arthur starts pulling away, and Merlin legit tries to cling to him, wrapping pale arms and legs around Arthur until he's pushed away. Merlin sighs heavily, frustrated as he sprawls on the bed. Yes, very obvious.]
Hide? Where do you want me to hide?
[Merlin lifts his head from the pillow, but moves before Arthur kicks him and gives him a matching bruise on his backside. Well, at least it's not the first time he's hidden under Arthur's bed...]
no subject
What is it?
[ There's Agrivaine — I'm sure it's nothing, nephew, hardly work waking you up for— and Sir Leon — the guards have been reporting oddities all night, sire, and we had that message from the village to the west, I thought it best to ask your permission to— and worst of all, Gaius — you haven't seen Merlin anywhere, have you, sire? Only he doesn't appear to be in his chambers, and I'd hate to think he'd gotten caught up in all of this— ]
Leon, do as you think is best with regards to the guard. I last saw Merlin with one of the serving maids at the feast, so I'm hardly surprised he's not in his bed. Uncle, you're not to let them wake me again. I shall deal with it in the morning.
[ Mouth tight, with annoyance and, all right, a little guilt, he dismisses them and shuts the door, leaning back against it and trying to remember the message Leon had mentioned, the message from this afternoon. ]
no subject
[Merlin lifts his head a bit too quickly at that, nearly knocking himself unconscious on the bed frame. How dare Arthur lead them to believe he was despoiling some innocent girl!]
[He's despoiling the king. Or being despoiled by him, Merlin's never entirely certain.]
[Merlin hears the door close and counts to ten, and with the silence unbroken, slides back out again. He continues to lay there though, the evening's shenanigans taking their toll.]
Can't we just. Do it on the floor. I have to clean it in the morning anyway.
no subject
[ He leans against one of the bedposts and looks down at Merlin, unimpressed. ]
I thought you were going to clean it today? Just because we're tupping, doesn't mean I can afford to let you neglect your chores.
[ Because now is clearly the time to have this discussion. But then, he's not doing anything to Merlin on a dirty floor. ]
no subject
[Which included holding up every article of clothing that Arthur owns for inspection. Seriously, three shirts and one pair of breeches is all anyone needs.]
[Merlin takes a deep breath and slides across the floor like some sort of inchworm, pulling himself up with the help of Arthur's leg.]
What if I made you forget all about the floors.
[Merlin kneels in front of him and kisses Arthur's stomach while his deft fingers pluck at Arthur's laces.]
[Did I say 'pluck'? I meant, 'struggle with'.]
What- did you tie these into knots?
no subject
Yeah, I could stand to be distracted from— what?
[ His voice goes from hoarse and low to abruptly more normal. ]
I was in something of a hurry, if you'll remember!
[ He tries to help, but just gets in the way, until he comes up with the bright idea of snapping them. But the leather cord only stretches at his insistent tugs. ]
Oh, for... use your teeth? Or a knife, my hunting knife should be around here somewhere.
[ He looks around for it. ]
no subject
[Or he was just his normal clumsy self. Merlin leans in, and it certainly looks like he could be 'distracting' Arthur, but he's really just working one of the knots between his teeth.]
If you'll just have a little patience...
[Clearly he's forgotten who he's dealing with. And after a few seconds even Merlin gives up in favor of just trying to tug them down over Arthur's hips.]
These seem tighter than before. Have you gained weight?
[Because nothing guarantees passion like asking that question.]
no subject
Of course I haven't! Not another word, Merlin. Not. Another. Word.
[ He steps back from Merlin, leaving him on his knees, but it's only to go to where his belt lies abandoned, taking his hunting knife from its sheath and slicing through the ties and a good deal of the material to boot. ]
I am done with patience.
[ He may have had a lot of wine, but he's still got a steady hand with a blade. He leaves the knife on the table and almost trips over his breeches trying to take them off as he stalks over to Merlin, taking the uninterested swell of his prick in one hand and Merlin's hair in the other. ]
Suck.
no subject
[He does squawk when Arthur cuts the laces, because he just ruined a perfectly good pair of pants, and even if he has plenty, Merlin has a low tolerance for waste. Arthur's strut back in his direction is certainly appealing, and Merlin's not averse to some hair-pulling, but the commanding tone of voice makes him feel like he's back on the clock instead of something that rhymes with it.]
Hang on! You don't have to tug!
[Merlin entertains the idea of just going back to his room for a wank. But it's almost personal now, how the night and events have conspired against them. So Merlin licks his lips, determined to swallow him down until Arthur's toes curl against the floor and he has to help hold him up.]
[And if the smell of smoke curls through the window, it's only because they're just that hot]
my <em> got away with me :(
[ Arthur's cock throbs when Merlin's mouth touches it, and his sharp hair-pulling becomes simply a place to rest his hands, his head falling back. Some of the tension seeps out of him. Enough, in fact, that he wonders if he's had perhaps a touch too much wine, because while he's slowly coming to life under Merlin's clever mouth, he could all too happily go to sleep right now, awash with easy pleasure. ]
[ His throat bobs, and he wonders if they should risk the interruption of getting on the bed so he can touch Merlin, too, when there's another knock at the door: Sire! ]
[ Arthur holds Merlin in place. He is going to ignore it, finish in Merlin's mouth, fetch his sword and go to make it very clear that he's not to be summoned unless it's very urgent indeed. Although at least this time the knocking seems appropriately frantic. ]
[ There's another shout, and Arthur realizes that word wasn't sire, it was... ]
[ From somewhere outside the castle a loud clanging starts up and Arthur pulls out of Merlin's mouth with a curse. ]
/lassos it
[But Arthur holding him steady tells Merlin that he's thinking the same thing, so he hums and lets his eyes flutter closed. No, no one could possibly need him more than Merlin right now.]
[...Did someone just shout 'fire'?]
[Arthur's cock is suddenly gone, and Merlin wipes his chin and mouth as he staggers to his feet and hurries over to the window.]
It's the stables! I know where there's some extra buckets.
[Merlin rushes for the door, turning back again right before he reaches it.]
Might need some trousers.
no subject
[ He makes do with a belt, a long tunic, and emphatically thinking about his father and Lady Catrina, which is a bit disrespectful these days but it was his go-to bucket of cold water for a couple of years and he's a little too flustered to really think about it. ]
[ Merlin, of course, is somehow still naked, and Arthur smacks him on one bare cheek as he heads for the door. ]
If you die in a fire before I can properly have it off with you, Merlin, I really won't forgive you.
[ Dire proclamation done with, he flings open the door (completely without thought for Merlin's modesty) and joins a couple of frantic knights in the corridor, already issuing instructions. ]