bakerstreet | Interest

( something to use later for when he's alone with his hand. )

Ah -

( elation hits first, then mind-melting relief, her thighs quivering when he all but shoves his hand down the front of her shorts to take her place instead. whatever retort she had dies on her tongue, a shaking hand grabbing at his sweater with still-slick fingers as she claws at it to steady herself against him with weaker knees, mumbling incoherently about how different it feels when it's not her own hand. no wonder why he seeks it out in others.

a little delirious, and running hotter than she should be, she can't help but rock against his hand in some vain attempt to ride his fingers to fuck herself on them proper. she'd gotten a small taste, and now she's keen to devour the rest of all he has to offer like the voracious beast that she is.

and just because she's purposefully ignored it long enough, she brings a hand down to a belt loop of his to tug at it, just before thumbing at the pressing tent that he's been denying all this time. )

[ of course it feels different. that's just how sex is! getting off with your own hand is fine, but when it's someone else, this is what happens. so, maybe she really hasn't done that before, and the idea of him being the first person to touch his sister like this is really, really fucking him up.

what's worse? it feels good, the hot, wet skin, the tightness he pushes a finger into. it's fine it's fine it's fine, nothing wrong with this at all, totally normal, just sibling stuff-

ah, shit, she's touching his dick through his pants, isn't she? she is, and it makes his hand jerk; the noise he makes is halfway panicked. ]

Ashley, don't do that!

[ it's weird if she's the one touching him!!!!!!!!!!!! ]

( feeling him jerk makes her tense up, vainly trying to press her thighs together only to be stopped by the lap she's straddling. the panic is cute. even now she can't help but press some more just to further push her luck. a warm palm just over where his zipper lies, with the same hand she'd just fingered herself with. )

'sonly fair.

( it's logical enough to the ashley halfway fingerfucked to finish, but the logical thought in there didn't make much sense to begin with even before whatever's left of logic is robbed from her. in any case, she doesn't wait - already working on the clasp to feel the softer fabric beneath denim. )

What, were you just going to let me finish then go jerk off in the bathroom?

[ it's different when she's proactively touching him; somehow he can't ignore whose hand it is, can't pretend it might be someone else, and the shock of it has him remembering exactly where his fingers are and who they're inside of. ashley's reasoning is childish, but she's always been that way, so hearing her claim that 'it's only fair' doesn't really come as surprising.

that doesn't make it any easier to deal with, though.

he really should stop her hand, but it's been an insanely long time since he was able to do anything with someone other than... well, himself. even before they'd been stuck in that apartment, there was always some reason he couldn't meet up with julia (ashley) and so the feeling of a warm hand so close is making him sweat.

yes. yes, he was going to let her finish and then jerk off in the bathroom. he'd thought he was being nice! ]

What's the problem with that? [ so he can scuttle away and hide his mortification. ] You're the selfish type, so shouldn't that be right up your alley?

( the problem is exactly that. she's a selfish, cruel thing. a hound whose caught scent of blood and now gnashes with glee for the rest. a beast that wears the cloak of a sheep, peeking up through the thick curl of her lashes. )

Then why settle?

( with his fingers, she means. not that she's not relishing every knuckle he's able to push into her. it makes it hard to focus, her breath as unsteady as it comes, but she's not going to let that stop her. the grasp of her hand is exploratory in return, fingers not quite wrapped entirely around his cock and stopped only by the thin fabric of his boxers. it's warm. a lot more than she thought - another thing she files away for later.

the nuzzle into his cheek is sweet, reminiscent of simpler times. )

I'll beg for it all nice if you want me to. Is that what you want?

[ why settle? because he's not supposed to be doing this in the first place! that's what he keeps telling himself, but every step further he goes, there's some excuse for why - he has to look out for her or it's just to get her to stop bitching or the alternative would be so much worse. and okay, maybe he's used all those excuses up on this one, but he's reaching for more, really- or he would be, if ashley didn't insist on distracting him from distracting himself.

and the nuzzle? it's almost too much. worse than the hand on his cock, actually, or the fact that his fingers are inside of her, all wet and sticky. it's cute, and makes him feel weirder than all of this. ]

No. That's like, the absolute last thing I want to hear from you.

[ it's better if she's demanding, and he can pretend to resist giving in! this is a very delicate balancing act, one he's been walking for years, and he's not about to give it up just because of something like this!!! ]

( the laugh is damning, a woman set to corrupt all she touches and stain it with her influence. he whines, he complains, he bites back with a quip as if he isn't letting himself get handled. as if his fingers isn't stirring her crazy with every insistent press of her hips down into him. )

Too bad.

( it's a little too late for him to kick up a fuss now. not when heat sears at her skin and electricity sparks just beneath, building up to an unthreaded peak. her control over her impulses have always been flimsy at best - and now? )

I wanna finish properly whether you help me or not.

( the nuzzle melts away into something a little less sweet, her teeth a threat against the flesh just beneath his jaw. a mark there would be hard to hide no matter how high a collar he finds. a thought that delights her just a little too much. )

If you're gonna be lazy and won't take responsibility for how you've made me then I'm fine using you as a toy to get myself off.

[ yeah, she would be fine with that. but he’s not! then again, wouldn’t it be easier that way, letting her do what she wants? but it gnaws at him the same way everything else is, drives the stress levels higher and higher, and the noise he makes is both frustration and undeniable arousal, because it’s been so long since he’s actually had someone else’s hand on him.

if she bites, who cares? well, he’ll care, complain, scold, but nobody’s gonna see it, and even if they did… yeah, it’s pretty trivial compared to everything else. but he’s also definitely not going to let her get away with it, not without doing something in return. it’s that stubborn gene they inherited from mom, maybe. ]

How the fuck is this lazy?

[ he moves his fingers, angles them in a new way. if he can just get her off, then maybe she’ll drop it. and it shouldn’t be that hard, not with how wet she already is. ]

( the sudden change in angle makes her jerk with renewed vigor, the slick of her undoubtably dripping off his knuckle as the wind is taken from her lungs. the muscles of her thighs tense, but she's doing her best to relax, happy to melt into the front of him fully as she pants. world rocked or no, a sneer pulls at her lip. derisive, catty, petty as ever. )

I've humped teddy bears that's done more for me than this.

( untrue, but the desire to lash out was there. he's always had this habit of keeping things she wants away from her until she pushes enough of his buttons - this is no exception.

close.. he's so, so close to where she wants him. if she closes her eyes she can almost imagine she were riding the warmth beneath her palm instead of his curled fingers. the curiosity of how he might fit is beginning to burn, so she tugs at his boxers just enough to free the cock trapped beneath. see how easy she's making it for him? and yet he insists on throwing it back in her face. )

Maybe if you don't put it all the way in you can still deny fucking your little sister, huh?

[ don't talk about humping teddy bears!!!!!!! andrew is trying exceedingly hard - and failing - to pretend what's happening is totally normal, even when he has slick wetting his fingers, making a mess of his hand. if he closes his eyes and tries to tune out her voice... no, that's still definitely ashley, no doubt about it. he can't imagine anyone else in her place. maybe that's one of his many issues.

he knows she's pushing his buttons. she always does this. he's got heat curling in his stomach and at the back of his neck, but he's not going to budge; that's what he tells himself even as he slows the movement of his hand in some kind of petty punishment for her running her mouth.

and then she just has to pull his boxers down, because she can't let him have five fucking seconds of peace. ]

Ashley.

[ he snaps her name, and his hand stops moving, but it's more because he's trying very, very hard not to make some kind of fucked up, unsightly noise rather than a punishment. he's gonna pretend it's a punishment. ]

Fuck, why can't you just- [ with how wet his fingers are, it's easy to imagine being inside that heat, and he wishes it weren't. ] Why can't you ever fucking leave well enough alone?

[ he's not fucking his little sister!!!!! (he's done a lot of things he said he wouldn't do.)

You know damn well why.

( he does, doesn't he? he's all she has. he's always been her all, her everything. no one can replace him, no one can ever give her what he could. which is why when she inches closer to sit on his hand and lap proper to trap his hand there, she makes sure she arches her lithe frame just enough to press his cock against the soft warm of her belly. )

You did this to me.

( and he won't even do the decent thing and take care of her properly. )

Who else would've?

( this time, there's menace behind the bite of her teeth - sinking into unmarred skin to ensure no one can mistake the crescent of teeth. the giggle that rolls off of her is airy, manic, and all too delighted that he's been marked for all to see. )

Take your hand out and I'll fuck you properly myself. Or do you think that if you just never put it in, it doesn't really count?

[ yeah, he knows. he knows, but he tries as hard as he fucking can to pretend he doesn't. he's always hoped that she'd grow out of it, that she'd make friends, a boyfriend maybe - but then he thinks about that, and it pisses him off, so he stops thinking about it. and as always, he lets her do what she wants, with some words of protest for show, like he's doing now. sure, he's telling her no fucking way, even as she moves, even when his cock is out of his pants and touching his sister's stomach. ]

I didn't. I didn't do shit, Ashley, you're always the one doing what you want.

[ again with the empty protests, because he's sitting there letting her proceed along the path of the worst thing they've ever done - and they've done some pretty terrible things, all things considered.

when she bites, he's not surprised. he's not even surprised at the way it goes straight to his cock, makes his breath catch in his throat. oh, he is so fucked. you know how people are supposed to be judged at the gates of heaven? yeah, he's not even going to see those. straight to hell, and he'll just sigh and shrug his shoulders.

his hand stills. he really can't do this. he needs to just... stop, shove her off, and- well, they can't forget this happened (she won't let him, he's sure), but-

...does he think that it doesn't count if he doesn't put it in? like, what's the difference? he's already got his fingers inside of her, but there's that line that they just seriously can't cross. ]

...I'm telling you no for your own good. You're going to regret this.

[ oh, he knows she isn't. another lame excuse to save his own conscience. ]

( if that's how he wants to play, then so be it.

it's his wrist she goes for first, tugging to slowly slide him out with a needy little keen as though she already misses being filled by him. a noise stifled when she lifts his now wet fingers to her mouth, pushing them past her lips to taste herself on him as she cleans them off for him with her tongue.

ever eager, it's a simple matter now to roll her hips into the cock pressed between them, ensuring that he can feel her desperate wetness as she smears it along his dick. her hips jerk the moment she catches her clit with him, a pathetic whine leaving her as if she's been deprived of her lifeblood.

but, with his fingers in her mouth, there's no catty quip that follows, just spit that trails down her chin and onto the swell of her chest. she's not overthinking this anymore - there's only one thing she wants now and she will have it. )

[ he always just lets her do things, when she pleads or bitches enough. it used to be because... well, because he was basically the only one taking care of her, but these days? she's probably (?) capable of taking care of herself, it's just too late for them to change. or maybe neither of them want to. yeah, that's probably the actual reason.

there's slick sticking to his fingers, shiny and warm. unblinking, face hot, he watches as she puts them in her mouth- ]

Fucking gross, Ashley.

[ but it's not. not really. the problem is, it is very not gross. her tongue is frustratingly warm, and maybe he moves his fingers a little, just a little - it's just a normal, unintentional twitch, that's it. and then she's moving again, warm, soft skin against his cock, wet and messy.

fuck. there's really no difference, is there? he's gonna give in, just like he always does. ]

Stop making a mess that I'm gonna have to clean up.

[ his free hand moves to her hip, and his head swims. he's pathetic, isn't he? going to fuck his sister, and all he can do is worry about the mess they're making. what's one more awful thing on top of everything else? ]

( his fingers leave her mouth in a purposefully obnoxious pop, her smirk evident as it ever is as she bears down at him. don't worry, her mouthy self doesn't go far, she'll keep the spit-slicked fingers pressed against her lips as she finally snips back. )

I'll make the mess?

( it's clear she doesn't think that's quite true, judging by the way she glances down between them before her eyes flick back up to meet his. oh, she fully intends on watching him fall into disgrace for all of his huffing and puffing over all of this. )

Why, do you intend on cumming on my belly, Andy?

( maybe she knows she's being awful, maybe she doesn't. either way, her hand reaches down to help angle his cock just right for her. not so she could ease him into her - oh no, not yet - but to delight herself with grinding into the firm heat of him against her clit in her utterly deranged chase for a high. to tease at how close he is from the last straw before rolling her hips to prevent him from crossing that line.

merciful, isn't she? selfishly getting herself off like he's a toy to be played with, mewling her delight and shivering without a care as her fingers trail along the length of him to press him against her even better. )

You ( - ah! ) wouldn't make a mess if you finished inside.

( she's just helping.. )

[ she has to know she's being awful. there's no way she can say that and not know she's being awful. he wishes he wasn't thinking with his cock right now, because he definitely is. he still has a chance to stop this, he tells himself; he could come to his senses and realize that is your sister, but it's way too hard when he looks at her, that smug look, her fingers on her lips.

nah. it was way too late to stop this ages ago. he'd been fucked way before he knew what her clit feels like, how nice it is when she's rubbing herself against his cock and yeah, he's so, so fucked.

she's hot, slick, and it's so easy to imagine how much better it would be, all tight inside her. his eyes trail down to look at where her hand fits him against her body; andrew's nails dig into his palm, into her skin where he's got a hand against her hip. is he nudging her forward a little? maybe.

...yeah. he sure wouldn't make a mess if he finished inside. ]

Just. God-

[ he plants the other hand firmly on her other hip, but tells himself he's not going to do anything else. it totally doesn't count unless it goes inside. this is just... glorified masturbation. is it fucked to do that with your sister? yeah, kinda, but not nearly as bad as cumming inside your sister. ]

( there's no way her hip is coming out of this unmarred. the nails digging crescents into her skin stings but it only serves to add to the terrible concoction that is her newfound taste for this brand of attention.

doe-eyed and sweet, her free hand seizes him by the hair as she guides him in with her other. inch by careful inch, ensuring he can look no other way but at her and the fluster of her skin and the way her lips twist with effort when she tries her best not to squirm too much. her breath draws narrow and quick, steadying herself as she gets used to the new pressure, her thighs trembling slightly as she readjusts for comfort's sake.

she doesn't quite fully take him just yet. it takes time and some getting used to, but she finally exhales and releases her chewed up lip - voice raspier than it ought to be. )

Good?

( look at her, is she not doing her best for him? )

[ maybe she's got a point with the hair thing; it doesn't feel terrible when she grabs it. it's also not terrible to look at her, surprisingly, and watch the way her expression changes, those long lashes and pink lips, the flush on her face he's always thought was cute. in... a non-weird way. totally.

he'd have thought he'd want to look away, but no. he doesn't even try to, hands holding her hips steady despite his reluctance of just moments ago, and the way he'd sworn it wouldn't get this far.

well, it's gotten this far. he's had sex before, but nothing has ever made him feel as good as this, the simultaneous sight of her expression and feeling of inside her, even if it's only partway. actually, maybe that kind of makes it hotter. and when she sounds like that? ]

Yeah. Good.

[ he's always doted on her, made excuses for her, taken care of her. to the detriment of everything else. even now, it's the same as always; it'll probably be that way until he dies. sooner, rather than later, at the rate they're going. ]

( and that's all of the encouragement she needs.

the rest doesn't go much quicker, still taking her time in ensuring she can fit the rest of him without getting too overwhelmed, tearing her gaze off of him for a moment to see just how much she's managed so far. the last inch gets her lips to part with a shaky gasp, making herself comfortable as she takes a moment to settle and get used to the way he stretches her to fit him.

far different than fingers, than just toying with her clit. this is everything she could give him, the piece of her she's never even truly given real thought about bestowing upon anyone else. why would she? he's always been her all. all she wanted was to be cared for by him, and for her to be able to care for him in return. )

What if I liked your fingers better?

( not a chance, not with how she's firmly seated atop his lap. out of curiosity, she lets her own fingers trail up her belly, as if wondering if she might feel how he's filled her out if she presses down. )

Don't go to anyone else for this. Promise me.

[ while she looks down, he's still staring at her face, trying to focus on not bucking his hips up or dragging her down faster. and then, when she gasps and he watches the shape of her lips when she does, he finally looks down between them, at where he disappears into her and realizes that insanely tight heat around his cock is...

ah. that's that. no going back from here; you can't unstick your dick from someone like it never happened. ]

You liked my fingers better when you were the one whining about how it wasn't good enough? Go ahead and get off of me, then.

[ his own voice sounds rough, breathy. this is different from the girls he's been with in the past. he was always vaguely distracted during sex, but not this time. he watches her fingers trail up wonders how deep he'd be inside of her.

don't go to anyone else for this? how the hell is he supposed to promise that? ]

What, like you're not gonna go to anyone else for this?

[ he actually hates that idea, but he's not going to say it out loud. unlike some people, he actually realizes there are things you're not supposed to say. that's always been one of the biggest differences between them. andrew is just as fucked up; he just knows when to keep his mouth shut. ]

Is that what you want?

( for her to experience this with someone else? to know what it'd be like in comparison? it would only be fair. he has a point to compare to. several, she's sure. but she doesn't.

she doesn't want to. she doesn't care to. she just knows it'd be an annoying thing to ask, especially now. it's hardly the best conversation to have - but it's not as if anything about them has been conventional to begin with. especially when she couples it with an attempt to move, to ease him out just as slowly until she has to reach back down to ensure he doesn't slip out of her.

this time, when she speaks, she's a hair's breadth away from his lips, all to ensure he can feel every gasp and sharp inhale especially when she fully sinks back down onto his lap after a beat. she's always been a needy thing, but now she sounds utterly desperate. )

Because this is what I want.

[ no. he doesn't want that. he definitely, definitely does not want that. in fact, it's one of the very last things he wants; nobody is good enough to do this to her, and he's not much when it comes to physical strength, but he'd definitely deck a guy who even thought about it.

he full-body shudders when she moves, slick clinging to his cock, the sudden coolness of air almost shocking in how different it is.

when he looks back up, she's close again, enough for him to feel the warmth of breath on his lips, and he thinks about what it would feel like to kiss her. same as other girls? no, probably not. nothing about her is like other girls, and while he's sometimes found himself wishing she was, deep down he knows it's not true at all. he's always wanted other girls to be more like her.

she needs to stop making that noise; he's already biting his lip hard enough to bleed. ]

Why?

[ he doesn't get it. why the hell does she want this so bad? he knows she's some kind of fucked up, but he didn't think he'd let her get this bad. ]

( what an insane question, but answering it is second to the blossoming need to taste when the bead of red draws her eye. it's an easy thing to tug at that fistful of hair, all the better to angle the bite for her tongue to catch the drop and soothe it over the surely aching lip of her poor, agonized brother who's done nothing to stop any of this when he surely could force her to if he so wanted. )

Because you did this to me.

( he's made it that he's all she thinks of. all she cares for. all she could possibly adore in a world that does not want her. the one that's made her feel loved and safe when no one else would. )

And I don't want to share you.

( not now, not back then, not ever, but not especially as she rolls her hips to feel all the different ways he could stir her insides up and make her skin light with fire and wanton heat. she won't last like this, not when he's teased her with his fingers for so long, but something animal and base in the back of her mind thought it proper that he felt her impending peak with more than just his hand. )

I want you all for myself, Andy. All of you. I shared for long enough.

[ it's not a kiss; that's the first thing he thinks, and then he almost laughs hysterically because seriously, that's what he's worried about now? like kissing is worse than sex? her tongue feels good, and she's finally rewarded with a noise - a groan.

he did do this to her, didn't he? he wants to protest that he didn't know any better, that it's not his fault, that he just wanted her to be happy and well-adjusted. well, at least he can still make her one of those things, right? so if he has to sacrifice the other, then fine. if he has to give up every last shred of morality, he's clearly already put himself on the path to doing so. if that's what she wants.

she's never wanted to share him. that's how this whole mess started.

he closes his eyes tight enough to see tv static against his eyelids. ]

You- You never shared me, Leyley. Not one single time in your life.

[ it's why none of his relationships ever lasted. why he didn't have any real friends. ashley always needed something from him, and the older they got, the more bullshit the reasons became. and he always listened to them. ]

( a sound that clearly piques her interest, her eyes trained on his bitten lip with an idle wonder of how she might draw it back out of him.

no, she never intended to share him, but she's always felt as if she was anyway whenever he would seek others out over her. every time he left the house to spend time with someone that wasn't her.

so it's spite that fuels her, mixed in with everything else pooling in the low of her belly, her teeth nipping at the cut he'd made as if she intends to make it worse before she brushes an apologetic kiss against it. pain with moments of sweet - almost poetically descriptive of her temperament and their entanglement, a giggle rumbling in her throat as if she knows it. )

I don't want to worry if you'll still come back to me.

( and now - now, surely, he'll stay? )

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