bakerstreet | I would.

I, ah, rarely think of anyone else, in truth.

...Is that strange to say?

[Most definitely, but the confession is out there now, all the same.]

[Something in his heart -- it's different from the pounding of telling a lie -- flutters, hearing something so intimate. When he'd asked Venigni to return Romeo to life with that precious ergo, he never thought he would hear such things from the person that Carlo held so dearly in friendship, or more. However that was and felt for him. Whatever the real term for it was.

[In that split second reaction, he feels his face suddenly warm.]

...I don't know. Is it...

[He stops there, tongue feeling somehow like rubber in his mouth.]

I don't know why you would.. think of me.

I mean...

[Can Romeo blush as a puppet now? With a better body than the one Geppetto had forced him into? Whether or not it shows, his cheeks feel warm.]

I'm sure people have told you how beautiful you are. They have told you, right?

[There is his connection to Carlo, too, but it's not just that. Not anymore.]

Not that I can recall, no.

[Does he count as beautiful? Romeo seems to think so - that much he can gather.]

Not explicitly spoken. If anyone thought it, I've never heard it until just now.

Now that is odd. Nobody's told you? Really?

[Just a flash of a smile, lips curling into a soft grin.]

Then I suppose I'm the first one to officially say it: you are beautiful. The most beautiful person in all the world.

[And that's not an exaggeration, not to Romeo.]

[P feels himself making a bit of a scrunched face before he can stop it, seeing that grin. Shaking his head a little, he tries to think of something a bit more eloquent than simply repeating himself.]

I believe survival was first and foremost on everyone's mind.

I'm not sure how I feel about how you see me, with such a word, but... I don't dislike it.

[He at least can appreciate that this is a sensitive topic. And he doesn't want to push Romeo away just because he's still learning how it is to be human.]

That's understandable. But sometimes you can't help where the mind goes, even under duress.

[Romeo's smile fades, slipping awkwardly off his face. He fidgets with his hands clasped in front of him.]

I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It was a strange thing for me to say, I know. At some point early on, maybe even when we first met, back at the opera house, I decided I'd always be honest with you. Or try to be. You deserve that. But this... doesn't necessarily apply, I suppose, not with this — your comfort is more important — but I'm rambling, aren't I?

You haven't made me uncomfortable.

[He regards Romeo thoughtfully, staring at his face for a moment, and taking him in. Hesitating, he then reaches out to touch the back of one of Romeo's hands. He's not sure what he's trying to accomplish, but it feels wrong to do nothing.]

You really were honest with me. I'm sorry that I didn't understand, at that time.

[He gently squeezes, hoping to convey more than his words can reach.]

I did... feel something, when you came out of the larger puppet. When we fought.

[He stiffens up a little, heart pounding. Something about this topic, or with Romeo--]

I still feel... something. And.. your voice is nice to listen to.

I know something compelled me to keep your Ergo safe once I'd.. taken it. I couldn't fathom anything else. It... was a similar feeling when I carried Sophia's with me.

[If it were anyone else trying to touch him, Romeo would have stepped back in surprise. Now, it's as if surprise steels him: it is, after all, the most beautiful person in the world reaching out to him.

...Did he really say that before? He did.]

It's not your fault.

[Geppetto is to blame, although Romeo doesn't say this aloud. Like his own wounds with Carlo, this is one he figures needn't be pressed.]

My voice?

[He cocks his head, brow furrowing as he wonders: What's so good about my voice?

Romeo smiles again. It's so easy to smile now.]

I'm glad you kept my ergo. You kept me safe, even then. I don't remember it, but I'm sure I was at peace by your side.

[And there is the uniqueness of the situation: realizing that the self doesn't realize that another can find it appealing. P recognizes it the moment that Romeo questions him and tilts his head.

[His thoughts fizzle briefly when Romeo smiles. He nods then, trying to work through the scattered feeling, with his wires humming.]

I truly heard your voice properly long after you were gone in a message I recovered. Warning me about father. I realized then that when we fought, I had at least in part heard your voice through the jamming, though not the words themselves. It was then that I recalled the puppet show you showed me. What you were trying to do.

[He hesitates, and then blinks a few times, trying to wick away the wetness he feels ebbing up.]

But it wasn't until after father died that I fully understood what I felt, hearing your message. I don't know if it was myself, or Carlo, who mourned. Maybe it was both of us. But I realized then who it was I had killed.

And... I felt, that even if I destroyed your ergo to let you find peace, free from the grasp of something so material, Carlo wouldn't be there to follow you. I... don't know if an afterlife exists, but if it does, I... didn't want you to miss him for an eternity.

I thought... you might feel lonely that way. Even if it was selfish of me.

I do have to admit... I also wanted to know the person who was so dear to Carlo. I still want to know you. I... can't say what he felt in depth. I haven't seen those memories. But.

I know that Carlo wouldn't have wanted to be without you. I think I can safely say as much.

[As his gaze focuses again, he blinks, and then quickly brings his hand up to wipe at his eyes.]

...Sorry. I know you're here now. You're alive now.

[The rest of what he hopes to say fizzles out before he can grasp it.]

My message. Right.

[Romeo remembers: the recording, the helplessness he felt. Willing his words to make sense, to be heard.]

That wasn't selfish of you. That was human. I would have done the same if I were in your shoes, I think.

[He thinks of an eternity of silence: with P, with Carlo. Although he doesn't remember what it was like, being reduced to ergo, Romeo likes to think he was calm. Soothed. He wasn't alone.]

I am alive. And so are you.

[Romeo sucks in a breath. Feels his hand twitch, itching to reach out, to console, even if he'd be bad at it.

And he is bad at it, this whole being human thing. Being alive. Half of him says to be more careful — with everyone, everything — while the other half begs him to take risks. To live as he's never lived before.

Romeo reaches out. Hand on P's shoulder. He almost lets this be all there is, just the smallest touch, but then he's stepping closer. Arms sweeping around P now in an awkward hug that Romeo realizes is greedy of him. Selfish. He rests his head against P's, letting the wetness fill his eyes, too.]

Is this... okay?

[P looks up a bit at the contact, fragments of teardrops still sticking to his eyelashes. The contact to his shoulder is already a lot, but with the embrace in full, he feels something... shift.

[In lieu of words, P nods slightly, and then reciprocates, both arms wrapping around Romeo in turn. It feels... right. With this contact between them, feeling how real and present Romeo is right now, it's not dissimilar from his relief with Sophia's return.

[And yet, a nameless feeling unfurls within, and he tightens his grip just the slightest bit.

[He finally finds his words, and opts to make up for his silence just moments prior.]

This is more than okay. So... this is what it feels like...

[It's different from Sophia's embrace when he recovered. It fills his heart to the brim with warmth in an entirely different way. How fascinating that having a human heart holds so many nuances to similarly-named emotions.]

I think... I would really like it if, if this isn't the last time you hug me.

[Gently, he nudges his head a little more firmly to Romeo's, mindful not to use too much pressure in his insistence.]

First to call me beautiful. First to hold me this way. You're receiving a lot of firsts from me.

[His lips curl into a faint, playful smile.]

Maybe it's greedy, but... I don't think I can envision any other alternative just as pleasing.

I’m sorry I had to be your first.

[He means it in a lighthearted way, but it comes out sounding more self-deprecating that he intended.]

I’m sorry no one held you before. That was foolish of them, just like no one ever telling you how beautiful you are.

[Romeo’s arms tighten around P, holding him impossibly close, as if a mere hug could protect him from all the world’s ills.

If only.]

It won’t be. It won’t be the last, I can promise you that. I’m somewhat of a hugger.

[He wasn’t before, but maybe now he will be. To give himself an excuse to hug P, to give him a sliver of kindness that the world has so cruelly deprived him of.

Romeo lets himself smile against P, wisps of silver hair soft against his lips.]

I don’t think it’s greedy. Not at all.

[The real greedy one here is me, he thinks.]

[P shivers a little, feeling Romeo's embrace tighten. It feels like his heart takes to the air for a scant moment. Enough for him to draw a slight intake of breath. Enough for him to feel the impulse to drag his fingers up Romeo's back.

[He closes his eyes instead, feeling the brush of breath through his hair to his skin.]

Don't actually be sorry, alright?

[Swallowing the lingering impulse, p allows his fingers to bunch into the fabric at Romeo's back. He'll need to try to piece together what he's feeling another time. Now doesn't feel appropriate.]

It feels right, that it's you. You... you can hug me anytime. I would like that.

I won't be sorry, then.

[Romeo closes his eyes, focusing on the feeling of P bunching up his shirt. It's such a small thing, a tiny motion, and yet there's something breathtaking about it. How P reacts to him, grounding him, reminding him that he's alive.]

I'm glad we get to share these things now — and I'm happy to be the one to give them to you — but still, you deserve a kinder world.

[If Romeo were hugging anyone else, he would have pulled away by now. Is this awkward? It's probably awkward, but he doesn't care. Just give him a few more moments — or minutes, or hours — to really breathe P in.]

You can hug me anytime, too. Even if I'm resting or working. A little warning might be nice, if you try to hug me from behind or something. But I think anyone would be happy to get a surprise hug from you. Or they should be.

...I'll make sure to let you know I'm approaching, if you're distracted. I... don't want to startle you.

[The idea of surprising Romeo with affection sends his heart fluttering, and he lets out a little, stuttered breath to match. Even so, P gives no indication of letting go at all.]

I think, it's already a kinder world with you here.

[He doesn't want to let go. He should, but... unless Romeo tells him to stop, he decides, then he won't until then.]

...Sorry, tell me, if you want me to stop.

Honestly? I don't want you to stop.

[He was about to pull away, wanting to spare P the embarrassment of having to do so, but if P is okay, then... Romeo's more than fine with staying just like this.]

People might think we're weird, though. Not that I mind, of course. Just a warning. People don't usually hug for this long.

[Not in public, anyway, but Romeo's cheeks heat up at the thought of steering back to that sort of conversation.]

Oh.

[He hesitates, and he almost seems like he might pull away, but instead, he tightens his grip a bit.]

I might get embarrassed if they look at us, but... I don't want to stop, anyway.

[His cheeks flush just a bit already, envisioning being looked at in such a state, but... it doesn't distress him.]

If they do stare, then… I’ll stare right back.

[Just to make them hopefully uncomfortable enough to leave, or look elsewhere.]

I’m glad, though. This feels… nice.

[Romeo feels himself swaying ever so slightly, rocking P with him.]

But, of course, like I said: hug anytime, anywhere. Whenever you might need one.

[The slight swaying Romeo initiates feels almost like dancing, but... far, far more intimate. P allows himself to sink further into it, and rather than words, he finds himself only able to really.. hum, instead. Acknowledgement and agreement in one little almost-sleepy sound.]

And.. if I never wanted to let go, ever?

[He knows this is also a gesture of wanting to know where the boundaries are. But now that he's wrapped up in this hug, the idea of ever parting feels... sad. Logically, he knows it will happen at some point. They'll part, and then they can hug again another time.

[The thought of letting go shouldn't feel as intense as it does.]

I definitely have.

[Hearing that definitely makes him more happy than he's willing to let on, but for now--]

You know--If you want a repeat performance, you just need to ask.

{{Anyone can comment but 30+ only if she's going to make those fantasies come true.}}

I would.

Maedhros | the Silmarillion | OTA

Geppetto's Puppet (P) | Lies of P | OTA (voicetesting)

yodels loudly at you again

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Donatello - Rise of the TMNT - OTA

Charles Chevalier ( Blue Lock )

morticia addams | the addams family (90s)

Tessa | Tales of Legendia OC | OTA

Libra Sforza (MBCC Chief) | Path to Nowhere | M/F

Omota Uramichi | Life Lessons with Uramichi-Oniisan | M/F

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Fu Hua | Honkai Impact 3rd | OTA

Nagi Seishirou | Blue Lock | m/m

Isagi Yoichi | Blue Lock | m/m

Kageyama Tobio | Haikyuu!! | m/m

Exusiai | Arknights | OTA, F/F preferred

Shalom | Path to Nowhere | OTA, F/F preferred

Kita Shinsuke ( Haikyuu )

Hajime Shino | Enstars | OTA

Eligre, the Lady Crow || fantasy OC

Ranka Lee | Macross Frontier | OTA

Lissa | Fire Emblem Awakening | OTA

Kaneki Ken | Tokyo Ghoul | M/F

One | Drakengard 3 | OTA

feyd-rautha • dune

Alexis Ness | Blue Lock | m/m

Fushiguro Megumi | Jujutsu Kaisen | ota