bakerstreet | what they wanted to say / what they said

what they wanted to say / what they said

Why can we never say what we mean? Round and round, hiding in the margins, we obscure our feelings.

People should come with subtitles.

How to Play
☼ Provide the required toplevel.
☼ Others respond with something their muse has always wanted to say to yours AND what they say, instead.

They wanted to say: "Only players will see this line."
But all they said was: "In this example, this one's the bit muses see and respond to."

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☼ Got it? Good! Don't forget, no IC knowledge to ruin your ~~pain~~ fun.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Edited 2024-03-14 17:15 (UTC)

They wanted to say: ❝ Lady Gaga? Loved you in American Horror Story. ❞
But all they said was: ❝ You look so familiar. Have we met before? ❞

Have we?

Do you spend time with Satanic nuns regularly?

Well, this was a new one on Blaine, putting a wrench in the well-thought-out come-on line he was about to deliver. Instead, his head tilted curiously. ❝ There are Satanic nuns? Are they all as lovely as you? ❞ That second part kind of slipped out accidentally, but it was a legitimate question all the same.

Yes, there are Satanic nuns. You're looking at one.

[ But she sure had to roll her eyes at that terrible pickup line. ]

Really?

❝ Sorry, you caught me off-guard with the whole nun thing. Had a masterpiece of a line thought out just for you. But the moment's passed, ❞ he finished in a playful tone before his expression turned somewhat serious. ❝ So, are Satanic nuns like the opposite of holy nuns? Like, holy ones have to be, um, innocent and, you know... ❞ Blaine paused, unsure of how to word the rest of that question respectfully. Normally, he wouldn't care, but he was actually curious.

[ Sister Imperator received this question a lot and therefore already knew how to reply. ]

Christian religious are asked to undertake three vows: chastity, poverty, and obedience.

Suffice it to say that Satanic nuns do not, as our tenets have to do with choice and respect. If you wish to be chaste, humble, and obedient, that is your call. If you likewise wish to indulge in pleasures of the flesh and the world, that is also your call.

❝ I see. Yeah, never really been into religion because of those restrictions. I'm too much of a hedonist, and the only place I'll be obedient is in the bedroom... But what you just described, that sounds alright. ❞ And led to many more questions. ❝ So, what are your main duties as a Satanic nun? Run soup kitchens and stuff? ❞

Mostly I run the day-to-day affairs of the Ministry and make executive decisions to ensure that our course is in line with our mission, vision, and objectives.

[ If it sounded less exciting than he was picturing, that's because it was. ]

Sure, if that's what's needed. The last time, we had a Socks for Satan donation drive because of the rising number of frostbite and gangrene incidents at the local hospital.

The phrase Socks for Satan pulled an amused grin from him. ❝ See, that all sounds perfectly normal, almost mundane even. So the million-dollar question is, why does the media like to paint your religion as the bad guys...? ❞ Oh, Blaine could guess why, but he'd never really sat down and thought about it. She would be able to give a better perspective, he figured. ❝ Is it the mission itself? Maybe just the name and a lot of assumptions? Or, the typical fear of what they don't understand? Most people are allergic to research, I tell you. ❞

All of the above.

We do also hold human sacrifices, bathe in blood, and have orgies with demons.

But with that said, history and religion need a "bad guy." Satan is the villain of the Christian story - that was the role that YHWH had intended for him from the beginning, because YHWH is the Savior and the Salvation, and why would humanity need either of that if there was nothing to be saved from?

It's a topic that needs dismantling and will lead you down many branches of ethics and morality, as well as history and sociology - as such, it's a good question, because Satanists want you to actually think and not just swallow the narrative.

This whole time, Blaine had been holding in the human sacrifice and orgy questions because he didn't want to presume, didn't want to stereotype. She didn't seem like she was pulling his leg, either. This was a weight off his shoulders. ❝ That makes sense, yeah. Sounds like a deep subject. Not many people stop and think; they just follow the crowd... Now, about that human sacrifice—how do you choose who to sacrifice, and what do you do with the bodies? I may have a business proposition for you. ❞

Those who volunteer, those who are at the natural ends of their lifespans, and assholes.

[ A smirk tugged at her lips. ]

The bodies are buried in our garden, where they fertilize our crops and our flowers.

Is that so? Perhaps we should exchange our names first, then. I am Sister Imperator, Prime Mover of the United Clergy of Ghost.

Blaine figured it would be something like that. With a warm grin, he held out his hand in greeting. ❝ Blaine DeBeers, at your service. I'm thinking, I can provide your sacrifices. This way, you stay in the free and clear. You don't have to get your hands dirty, at least at the procurement stage. Then, after you sacrifice them, you return their brain to me for a discount on my services. ❞ This probably sounded strange to her. Hell, it sounded strange to him saying it out loud, so he elaborated. ❝ You see, I own a club and a restaurant, and my customers have a particular dietary need. ❞

[ Sister Imperator shook his hand. ]

Brains. Hm. Interesting. We do have vampires who join our services regularly, but rarely any creatures who would prefer brains.

And how is it that you procure these bodies?

Although tempted to reveal what he really was, Blaine didn't want to risk scaring her (if that was even possible). ❝ Yeah, it's a rare condition. As for my main method, I have underground connections in the surrounding areas. All I have to do is request their hit lists—mostly made up of assholes ripe for your ceremonies. That gives my hunters their targets. I just need to know the frequency I should aim for. You do a ceremony every week, or...? ❞

[ She watched him silently for a while - long enough that any normal person would squirm under the scrutiny. ]

Believe it or not, ritual human sacrifice is saved for special occasions. We only have those about once a month, though they are more frequently done toward the end of the year, what with All Hallows Eve, the Winter Solstice, and Sol Invictus.

How often do your patrons need brains?

During the silence, Blaine crossed his arms briefly before sliding his hands into his jeans pockets and standing up straight. A playful smirk hid just underneath the surface as he gave her puppy eyes. Of course she wanted to stare at him—just look at him, his ego theorized, totally missing the point.

❝ Ah, I see. Hell, I could handle that personally. I do miss the thrill of the hunt, you know. As for my clients, as long as they have at least one brain a month, they're fine. ❞ Blaine nodded before crossing his arms again. ❝ I have other sources, of course. Just getting in a good deed where I can. And I find your cause fascinating. Say, does one have to be a member to be invited to the parties? ❞

[ Well, it wasn't as though she wasn't accustomed to egotistical people. He was quite friendly for one. ]

No, you're free to join our ceremonies and revelries should you wish.

The brains of our sacrifices are discarded, so I'll tell you what - I'll give them to you, and you can send all your corpses to the Ministry. Waste not, want not.

❝ Sounds good. I'm guessing you guys don't have a Google calendar or something? ❞ Not wanting to risk another staredown, Blaine shook his head and answered his own question. ❝ Nah, didn't think so. ❞

With a slight bow, his hand was held out to finalize the agreement with a handshake. ❝ You got yourself a deal, beautifu—I mean, Sister... Next order of business — where would you like me to take you on our first date? ❞ He had to at least give it a try.

Google? [ It was 1969. She had no idea what a PC was, let alone the internet or Google. ] But if you want an antiecclesiastical calendar, I can have one delivered to you.

I'm married. [ And a few months pregnant. Not enough to show just yet. Frankly, neither things were against any rules of Satanic church when it came to extramarital affairs, but Sister Imperator was oddly monogamous. ]

But if it's a nun specifically that piques your interest, several Sisters of Sin would be happy to go on a date with you.

  ❝ Sure, I'll take one of those antiecclesiesta—those calendars. ❞

  When she revealed she was married, Blaine blinked a few times and looked down at her hand. Would she even have a ring? And if so, how had he missed it? Ugh, he was so annoyed with himself right now. ❝ Ah. Sorry about that. But yeah, I'd love to meet some of the other ladies... Sisters of Sin. That would make one hell of a band name. Good stuff. ❞

  From his jacket pocket, he took out a business card and handed it over. ❝ Here's my contact info. It's been a pleasure doing business with you, Sister. ❞

[ She did not, in fact, have a ring. Her marriage was not exactly something she enjoyed talking about. But it was what it was. ]

Do you like rock music, Blaine?

[ Sister took the card, looking at the address. ]

I'll visit soon. I'll have the calendar sent there as well.

❝ I love all kinds of music... except country. Which reminds me, if you ever need a singer or piano player for an event, I'm your guy. ❞

Blaine gave her a warm smile. ❝ Looking forward to it. ❞