bakerstreet | if and only if

if and only if

you should date me if...

The idea of this meme

[1] Your character has been yolked with a sign that states "YOU SHOULD DATE ME IF [fill in the blank]." "You should date me if you like good food." "You should date me if you enjoy long walks on the beach." "You should date me if you'd like to be disappointed. In bed and in life."
[2] This sign may or may have not been written by them. But does that matter if everyone can see it?
[3] That's it.

Do not post any blank top levels.

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[Get your mind out of the gutter, "physical stimulation" refers to exercise.

And maybe cuddles.]

Edited 2024-02-27 22:41 (UTC)

Edited 2024-02-27 20:33 (UTC)

[Wow, rude. But true.]

[He'll just grumble. Sigh.]

Wouldn't it be strange for someone to want to date you because of those things?

[That gets another grumble.]

Of course. I didn't write it.

[His mouth twitches in distaste.]

I wouldn't expect you did... I just mean that if anyone does seem interested because of it, I'd be pretty wary. [ There's a small frown. ] It doesn't even mention how sweet and adorable you are.

[Pardon him, his face is just gonna turn bright pink at the compliments.]

"Adorable" is a bit more suited to my childhood pictures, I think.

[It's actually more flattering than he expects.]

[ Somehow, he didn't expect that kind of reaction, even though he really, really should have. ]

Maybe you're just one of those people with lifetime adorableness. That can happen.

[ Despite being surprised, he's just going to go on with his point, because he feels like it's a good one. ]

It's obviously happening right now.

Nope, you're cuter.

[Clearly, the answer is to turn it around on Tsuzuki in order to deflect from his own mounting flustering. Of course, it doesn't make his flushing invisible by any means....

[He'd like to turn off the blushing, thanks (but nothing happens...)]

Wait, what?

[ You know who doesn't always think fast? Tsuzuki. Squinting, he tries to think of a response to that to turn it right back around. This isn't supposed to be about him! ]

You can't say that!

[ That should do it. ]

Why not?

[He won't try to refute it. Yet. Gotta see where Tsuzuki is headed with this.]

Theoretically speaking, since I already did.

Because this is about you!

[ It's that simple. He's even doing his best to resist the urge to point out how untrue it is just to keep the attention where it belongs. ]

Although... it was a very cute attempt, which just proves my point, so... I guess I'll allow it for that reason.

[ And because, yeah, it can't be unsaid. ]

Oh, I see, I see.

[He doesn't... kind of. But he'll go with it. He sees no reason not to.]

So, so long as I make sure my attempts at reversal are cute, you'll allow it. Got it, loud and clear.

[Besides, teasing him with genuine compliments is fun.]

[ Outside of his work, Tsuzuki usually isn't the brightest crayon in the box. This is way too much finesse for him. ]

Wait, no. That was a one-time exemption! I guess, unless... [ Wait. He's got this. ] Hold on, so you agree with me now? Right? Adorable.
And some kind of genius mastermind. We can throw that in too.

I'm not a genius. I'm just rolling with what you give me.

[His head tilts, ears wiggling briefly. After a moment, he reaches out to touch Tsuzuki. If allowed to do so, he gives Tsuzuki's hair a very gentle ruffling. Regardless--]

You're too cute....

[ Tsuzuki wants to point out that fluffy wiggling ears are definitely adorable, but this has gone out of his hands way too easily. Alivian should know by now that he's allowed to do whatever he likes, so all Tsuzuki can do about the hair ruffling is tilt his head with a light smile. ]

I don't know how this could've gotten away from me then... Oh. [ A small thought arrives to dust his face with pink, but he's just going to shove that away somewhere. ] Anyway, whether I'm cute or not doesn't matter. I don't have a weird sign that needs fixing.

[ Or any at all. ]

Now, you are tall. I do like that about you... so that's fine.

[Taking perhaps excessive care when interacting with others isn't about to disappear overnight. Alivian offers a shy little smile at how Tsuzuki receives his touch, heart fluttering around.]

Mm.

[One moment. He's too distracted by this casual intimacy. Gently, he boops their noses together, tail wagging happily.]

You're here. Fuck the sign-- Not literally.

[ As people generally just sort of... manhandle him no matter what he thinks about it, Tsuzuki rather adores the comfort of actually wanting someone to feel free to touch him without asking. It's nice. And the little smile - also very adorable. It holds his own little smile in place. ]

Hm?

[ Oh, there's even more cuteness with a soft nose boop. If that's the case, he's going to just as gently touch those fluffy ears, giving them a light rub, followed by a small laugh at the comment. ]

I don't think you have to clarify that...! Especially since you're right here.

Mmnnn...

[What are words when there are ear scritches? Alivian just hums at him and stays close, nudging his nose to Tsuzuki's cheek next in a continued show of affection.]

I didn't want to deal with retorts about splinters or something.

Who would...
[ Splinters... That's a thought that has him scrunching his nose. At least he has nicer things to push it right out of his mind before it can settle in and get distracting.
Indeed, he's got ear scritchies to administer, and closeness to bask in, closing his eyes with a happy little noise. ]

Hm, no. Don't worry about that.

[ Again his head tilts, this time to press his lips softly to Alivian's cheek. ]

[It's easy enough to bask in this affection. Comfortable, too. There's only a token twitch in his body when he feels contact near his cheek, his body briefly fearing that the mask may be jostled, but it passes very quickly.]

Careful with that~ I'm going to want to cuddle you and not let either of us get up~

[He happily returns the kiss to his cheek in kind, staying contentedly nuzzled close. His whole body buzzes with a mixture of serene joy and, truthfully, sleepiness.

[Cuddles and a nap together would be nice, he thinks.]

So much cuddling~

[ Tsuzuki finds himself torn between keeping his hands where they are and lowering his arms into a comfy bit of a hug. But for now... how can he give up the fluffiness? ]

You say that like it'd be a bad thing, when I'm just wondering when you started mindreading...

[ Though to be fair, there are often only a few things on Tsuzuki's mind at a time, and half of them are naps.
To make his point, he does lower his hands, but only to cup against Alivian's cheeks, so he can press another small kiss to the edge of his lips in a very not-careful way. ]

I'm not a mind-reader....

[That does get a bit of a pout, but nothing beyond that, and he certainly doesn't expect to be kissed so intimately. At least, not at that moment.

[His jaw drops slightly, his cheeks rapidly burning pink under Tsuzuki's fingertips.]

Nope, still not a mind-reader.

[But, he does take it as a cue that more kisses are, if not wanted, at least accepted. He presses a very light kiss to his lips in return, and swallows a little as a sensation of nerves grips him for the moment.]

...Though I wonder how much of it will be spent napping, and how much of it spent kissing...

Close enough~

[ Looking up just in time to catch that pout, he somehow manages not to kiss it. The color beneath his fingers seems to be calling for it however, but before he can it's his turn to be surprised, not expecting a kiss to his lips that causes a flutter in his chest. Giving in to the urge this time, he's quick to kiss him back, lingering only a little. ]

It could be equal time. Kissing until we fall asleep, then waking up to do it over again.

[ Genius idea. ]

...I could do both all day.

[The suggestion makes Alivian shiver, gooseflesh prickling up along his nape.]

I'd like that. Could we?

[He offers a faint, shy smile.]

I have a big bed, too. There's plenty of space to get comfortable.

If you'd like.

[ That first part is uncalled for... ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

if and only if

you dig southern accents and your inner demons aren't violent (or outer) enough.

You want to buy a Swede some cookies

You like busy and highly motivated professionals

you like adrenaline fueled junkies and bad one liners

You like sweetheart celebrities with active lifestyles and both intellectual/physical stimulation

You like tall, buff women capable of outdrinking any guy who will also never lie to you.

you always want to take a backseat to her work

you like a 2-meter-tall wolfman with a big dick & a fear of hurting others with his gaze.

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I think my language comprehension slightly slipped for that subject line, oops.

It's fiiiiine.

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You want to be kept at arm's length and eat good food at all times