bakerstreet | Did you mean to send this?

Did you mean to send this?

Filthy Photo Critique

Uh oh. I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but looks like something a little... embarrassing has leaked about you. Er. Fine, more than embarrassing. It's downright humiliating if I'm honest. Reputation-wrecking. Downright disasterous.

A pornographic photo of you has fallen into the hands of the Bakerstreet masses! What are you going to do? How can you explain away this raunchy reproduction? Better get to thinking.

How to Play
- Comment with your character, preferences, and a description of what said picture would look like/a link to to it. Please note all triggering content!
- Obviously, this meme will be heavily NSFW.
- Tag-ins are folks who got a full view of what's cooking.
- THERE'S AN EXPLANATION. Ooooooooh man. Uhm erm aaaaah.

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[What a nightmare. Alhaitham is sure he hears people whispering behind his back as he cleans off another message board, and while he can't blame them for their curiosity (the former Acting Grand Sage acting this brutish is an unusual sight, certainly), that doesn't mean he spares them from a menacing glare before heading back home.

He checks other key places in Sumeru city on his way. Fortunately, nothing else pops up.

When he arrives, he finds Kaveh curled up on the couch. Awkwardly standing in the middle of the living room, he crosses his arms in front of his chest, trying in vain to make sense of the situation.]

What should we do now?

[I mean, he would pursue legal action and possibly beat the culprit to a pulp behind the Matra's back, but this isn't his decision to make.]

[ Once home, thankfully with his key in hand for once, Kaveh does let himself inside and tear up the images still crumpled in his fists before dumping everything into the trash. And it's once that's done that it really starts to sink in and he settles on the couch.

It's not long after that he's joined by Alhaitham and he's forced out of the spiral that has him thinking about packing a bag and moving out to the desert to live in some of the ruins there. ]

I don't know. [ Kaveh admits it as he sits up, rubbing his hands over his face. ] Cyno would want to hear about this.

[ Which seems like a good place to start, all things considered. He looks up at Alhaitham, taking a second before pushing himself up and moving around the table to get to him. Then he's looping his arms around his neck, leaning into him as he hugs him, whether arms uncross or not. ]

Thank you. I don't know what I would've done if I had found them myself...

We'll talk to him.

[He doesn't want to comment it out loud, but the possibility of this incident repeating is very much real. And Cyno is a great, discreet alternative to taking the mandatory steps for the rest of the population; no one else will know what happened today if they leave this in his hands.

...well, apart from the people who already saw the goddamn boards. Alhaitham would get antsy about them again if it weren't for Kaveh's arms wrapping around his body, an odd gesture between two people like them, who are always bickering and close to hurling insults in each other's direction.

Still feeling awkward, he lifts an arm behind Kaveh's back, softly rubbing his hair while he exhales a frustrated sigh.]

You don't need to thank me. Your private life should stay private.

Are you sure you want to be involved? I can talk to Cyno on my own.

[ Kaveh is already thinking about how easily this could happen again and being closer to Alhaitham is an odd comfort. Or maybe not so odd when he considers that getting back here, to Alhaitham's home, feels safe compared to being elsewhere. And the hand that slides against his hair eases some of the tension in his shoulders as he hides his face against Alhaitham's for the moment. ]

You seemed angry while pulling the pictures down.

[ He doesn't lift his head to look him in the eyes as he voices the thought. Kaveh wonders if he'd have been that worked up over pictures of himself. It takes so much to get reactions from Alhaitham that it's hard to keep himself from thinking about it. ]

Whatever you prefer is fine.

[Ah. That anger he felt, which was absolutely out of character from the outside, seems to be ready to bite him back. Truth be told, he didn't consider why his chest ached as if set on fire from the inside when he saw those pictures. He just acted without thinking first, something he would usually scoff at.

When asked about it, however indirectly, he feels he has to give a good answer. Not only for the sake of Kaveh, but also for himself.]

You're a jewel in Kshahrewar's crown. A public figure, if you will. Your reputation could've suffered a great deal if I let those... things out in the open.

[ His instinct is to say he'll handle things on his own from this point, that Alhaitham has done more than enough to help. Kaveh hates the thought of further burdening him, but he can't quite bring himself to say he'll do it on his own. There's a part of him that wants the scribe at his side, the thought of that making his face warm.

The response he gets about Alhaitham's anger has Kaveh lifting his head after a few moments, eyes lifting to meet his gaze.

It's an answer that seems to make sense initially and would probably work for almost anyone else. But Kaveh knows him. ]

Would you have been that angry if the pictures had been of you?

[ Kaveh knows his reactions to most other people and that even someone like Cyno may not have earned that kind of response. Taking the pictures down, yes, but not with that kind of frustration. In truth, it's not something he would've expected for himself either. ]

[That's actually a very good question. While the answer is definitely yes, the way he would've gone about it would have been very different. If the pictures were of him, he would have taken them down quickly, yes, but as calmly as he makes breakfast. Perhaps scoffing in disgust once or twice, but nothing nearly as frantic as his reaction earlier.

He could cite his current status as the reason, that of a glorified secretary who shares no input, or maybe his lack of emotional involvement with people who would laugh at him. The ones he actually cares about wouldn't turn him into a joke.

Something else is to be accounted for as well, but Alhaitham doesn't know how to deal with it. Thus, his response may be less than stellar this time.]

Does it matter? We can discuss possibilities all you want, but philosophy isn't going to help us much this time.

[Unlike usual, his rational argument doesn't hit like a bucket of cold water. He looks too worried for that, still stroking the blonde locks on Kaveh's head. The architect, he's—not like himself at all. The Kshahrewar stereotype of being too lost in ancient forms and aesthetics to appreciate more mundane and emotional, purely human matters is completely wasted on him. The cold stone of ruins isn't dead matter for him; it's a testament to humanity, the thing Kaveh cares about the most. And for once, Alhaitham seems to have grasped what that means, knowing how agitated he would become with this situation where his trust (one of the most human things to ever exist) is betrayed.]

Do you want to talk about this, or would you rather calm down first?

[ Does it matter? It's a good question, one that leaves Kaveh quietly taking in the worry in Alhaitham's face. He realizes it's a look he's only seen flit through the scribe's eyes from time to time, usually in instances regarding talk of Kaveh's father. In those cases, he never felt the need to think twice about it, not after Alhaitham went through the trouble of helping him find out what happened.

Now is different. That worried expression seems fixed as fingers continue to stroke through his hair. He knows Alhaitham better than anyone else, yes, but the same can be said of Alhaitham knowing him. He probably knows the exact path his thoughts have spiraled down, he can probably guess that Kaveh is barely holding it together.

And when he hears the questions, Kaveh can't help the shaky breath that leaves him as he shifts his arms and wraps them tight around Alhaitham as he buries his face against his shoulder again. ]

I just... need a few minutes.

[ The adrenaline that came with the rush of trying to get all of the pictures down has completely worn off now and it shows in the slump of his shoulders and the slight tremble of his body. Surprisingly, tears don't come, perhaps because holding on to Alhaitham keeps him grounded enough not to completely spiral into worry. ]

[Normally, "a few minutes" would mean solitude and time to reflect, but Kaveh is tightening his grip instead of letting him go, and Alhaitham needs a moment to understand that he means "a few minutes of hugging". This is quite removed from his area of expertise, but all things considered it's probably for the best if he doesn't question it too much.]

That's fine.

[A bit unsure of how to proceed, he puts his arms on Kaveh's shoulders, squeezing them lightly. He doesn't want Kaveh to cry, mostly because emotional outbursts of that sort make him feel a little useless, but he has a feeling Kaveh isn't expecting a solution from him. Sometimes, people just need to express their inner turmoil and have someone be there for them. He can understand that, at least, even if it's not his case.]

[ Aside from his breathing taking a bit to calm and slow, Kaveh is surprisingly quiet as he holds on to Alhaitham. The few minutes do allow him to calm down, but it's hard to shake the pit in his stomach and the betrayal he feels. It's a bit longer before he speaks, his voice a bit muffled as he keeps his face against Alhaitham's shoulder initially. ]

I thought I had the only copies of those photos.

[ He dreads the thought of going to find the ones he has to see if they're even still in his possession, now aware of the fact that they easily could have been taken while he was drunk and essentially living in Lambad's Tavern before moving in with Alhaitham. But it's been quite a while since then and he isn't sure why someone would decide to use them now. ]

Do you think someone is trying to get me to leave? [ Kaveh lifts his head with the question, his gaze shifting to meet the younger man's. ]

[Goddamn those Fontainians. Alhaitham had the vague notion that copies could be made of pictures taken by kameras, but not even he could have predicted that misuse of said technology would one day affect him like this. Even if it's no use thinking about it, he would have preferred to be the target of this attack; he's a hero who helped save Sumeru, so he doubts anything could be done to ostracize him or even take away his job.

Meanwhile, even without this, Kaveh's situation is precarious as it stands. As much as he'd like to know who could be the culprit, Alhaitham has no idea; in and out of his Darshan, most people idolize Kaveh, and he has no known enemies. But disgusting human beings who take advantage of his kindness aren't precisely a rare occurrence, either. If it's blackmail, though, it's lacking some demands.]

Leave?

[He's not sure if Kaveh means Sumeru or his home, but either way, it could be an explanation. Meeting Kaveh's eyes, he ponders for a moment, completely unbothered by the close proximity they're sharing.]

Is there anybody who would be interested in making you leave? Think about it for a moment. I can wait.

[Can and will, as long as it's necessary. As soon as he confirms who's behind this show of bad taste, he has a feeling he won't rest until he has personally executed a revenge plan on them.]

[ Blackmail does cross Kaveh's mind, but there's nothing to imply it unless they missed a note somewhere while tearing the photos down. He'd consider revenge, but he can't think of anyone who would want to get back at him for anything. Even the person the pictures were taken with doesn't seem like a good option because they parted on fine terms. It all continues to circle back to some effort to humiliate him enough to get him to disappear from public sight in some way. At least in Kaveh's mind it does. ]

The Akademiya, the city, Sumeru, your house... I don't know.

[ Kaveh goes quiet as he considers the question, but his mind is racing. Is there anyone who has a problem with him? Anyone who might want him to leave the city? Leave his lecturing position? ]

There's no one. I've made regular payments on my debt to Dori, so there's no reason for her to do this. The guy in the pictures is married now and we didn't part on bad terms. You would never do anything like this, even if you wanted me to move out. I'm not even taking clients right now, so there's no one to have a major problem with me unless some student decided they want me to leave because they hate my lectures...

[ He groans to himself, tilting his head forward until his forehead rests against Alhaitham's shoulder. ]

Is anyone interested in you? Maybe someone found out we live together and thinks we're involved.

Edited (quick edit to swap some words!) 2024-02-02 09:17 (UTC)

[As he listens to Kaveh, Alhaitham makes a quick mental list of all the people mentioned. It's possible that Kaveh is thinking of them as more benevolent than they really are, as he usually would, but if Alhaitham investigates them he might uncover some motive to do this.

At the suggestion that a misunderstanding about their living arrangements could have triggered this, Alhaitham raises an eyebrow.]

There's no one.

[While he has a reputation for being dense in romantic matters, it's more of a facade to avoid dealing with nuisances. He's perfectly capable of telling if a person is interested in him or even someone else, and he hasn't noticed anything that hints at a deeper level of interest than superficial compliments about his physique.

This lack of leads is frustrating, but he's going to take care of something more urgent now. Kaveh is extremely affected by all of this; at least some relaxation is needed if he doesn't want the man to go crazy.]

We should stop this train of thought for a while. Is there anything that could help you right now? And don't say wine.

[He means coffee, or maybe a bath. As a depressant, alcohol could easily make things worse.]

[ He does know about his own fault of seeing the best in people and rarely casting doubt before someone forces his hand with it. But even if he tries to take that out of the equation, there's just no one who makes sense to him. He doesn't think anyone considers him a rival and the person he fights with most in his life is the one who was tearing the pictures from the boards before he even saw them himself.

And yet, when Kaveh hears the straightforward answer to his question, he feels a sense of relief that's entirely unrelated to the trouble they're currently dealing with.

He nods, still mulling over possibilities, wondering if he managed to anger someone out in the desert and how anyone would get their hands on the pictures. When the suggestion to stop comes, he lifts his head to look at Alhaitham again. ]

Nothing that involves being alone. [ It comes after a few moments, as Kaveh acknowledges that he'll be in his own head if left by himself. He slowly pulls his arms from around Alhaitham, but not fully away, fingers curling at the scribe's sides as if worried that letting go will mean being left alone. ] I think we should eat something... stay with me while I cook?

[Although he wasn't planning on leaving him alone unless Kaveh asked for it, Alhaitham is glad to be accepted as company. They are at each other's throats with a frequency that would make it understandable if Kaveh wanted to be left alone. But then again... he's too sensitive to push unwanted pieces of information to the back of his mind. He and Alhaitham are too different from each other, to the point that sometimes Alhaitham is truly puzzled at his reactions.]

Alright. If you get tired of cooking later, I can continue.

[He personally would forgo eating entirely if the situation involved him directly, but Kaveh has said on more than one occasion that cooking has a soothing quality to it, greatly de-stressing him.

The way Kaveh has of holding onto him, by the way, is doing things to his heart. He can't help but take Kaveh's hand in his as he walks the short distance separating them from the kitchen, refusing to look at him until they reach their destination. But then, he's not sure how to proceed. Is he supposed to hug Kaveh while he cooks?? That sounds a little too intimate.

This is a special case, though. He has a feeling Kaveh will cry if he feels left alone, and that's going to set Alhaitham off on a murderous, vengeful rampage he won't be able to explain or justify afterwards. It's for the best if he steps a little outside of his comfort zone.

As Kaveh stands in front of the table and gathers ingredients for a meal, he circles his waist with an arm, resting his chin on the older man's shoulder.]

What are you going to cook?

Thank you.

[ Alhaitham has served to help ground him and cooking will ease his mind, the process of it usually claiming all of his focus even if it isn't entirely necessary. So combining the two, having him in the kitchen while he cooks, will help. At least, he thinks that's the case when he makes the request.

Because his thought is that Alhaitham will sit down and be with him, keeping him company even if there's no conversation to accompany it. It's not an uncommon thing for them given that some of the quietest times come when things are calm and they're both sitting in the living room together, eating fruit and each doing their own thing.

He doesn't expect the hand that catches his own as they head to the kitchen. And he really doesn't expect the arm that slips around him or the chin that comes to rest on his shoulder. The feeling of Alhaitham all but pressing to his back is, in fact, very helpful in driving the thoughts of everything else out of his mind, though. ]

I... something that's simple. [ Because he can't be expected to focus on cooking the way he should when his heart is beating as quickly as it is. Kaveh's cheeks warm a bit as a slight shift on his part has him pressing back into Alhaitham. ] I think I have everything for curry.

Don't thank me, it's not that big of a deal.

[If only he knew he could've sat at a distance like he always does. Oddly enough, however, he doesn't feel uncomfortable with Kaveh's back leaning onto him. It's unusual, of course, but not bad in the slightest, and since Kaveh isn't complaining he must be okay with it too.

His body language has changed as well, a sign that he's not thinking about this morning's incident as deeply as he was moments before. Alhaitham guesses staying like this would be for the best. Eyes briefly scanning the ingredients, he nods, using his free hand to pull the carrots a little closer.

With a few conversation topics on the back of his mind, he waits for Kaveh to start chopping the vegetables to see if he wants to talk or not.]

[ Kaveh is quiet for some time, starting in on peeling and cutting things up, focusing on the ingredients as best as he can when a number of other emotions threaten to distract him. But having Alhaitham so close still manages to make him relax, the closeness and warmth comforting even as realization hits him while he works.

It takes a second before he speaks again, glancing over out of the corner of his eye since he realizes that turning his head and letting his lips brush Alhaitham's cheek might send him over the edge. ]

I meant thank you for everything. I'm not sure when it happened, but I've realized that no one else could have calmed me down like this.

[ He's looking down, slicing a potato as he pauses for a few moments. His cheeks warm further as he finally just says what he's thinking. ]

I'd like to kiss you.

I think you're exaggerating.

[Words of gratitude are something he’s not used to, being someone who doesn’t go out of his way to help others very often. He feels like he’s done nothing out of the ordinary for Kaveh, in fact, apart from what happened today and letting him stay here. Everything else is just him being decent and logical, but maybe even Kaveh’s perception of his actions gives him too much credit.

But then, not unlike those mechanisms in the desert that Kaveh loves to explore, the logical part of Alhaitham’s mind seems to shut down after hearing some precise keywords. Kiss me is all he can think, his eyes fixed on some point in front of himself, the bare wall not even registering. Maybe he did go too far with the moral support, and his hold on Kaveh’s waist loosens a bit at that thought. Then again…

If this is what he gets for being too bold, it’s not a bad outcome at all. He knows he would never have the courage to ask Kaveh for a kiss this way, and even if he knows he shouldn’t take advantage of his gratitude, there’s something inside of his chest nudging him to accept.

His hand takes the knife from Kaveh’s hand, gently prying it away and resting it against the cutting board. They can’t have accidents happening, not when his next move could easily distract the other man. Cupping his chin, he takes a moment to admire the soft beauty of Kaveh’s features, the smooth skin he cares so much for, the gold strands of hair framing his face, the eyes that now gaze at him with a bit of a puzzled look.

Dipping his head down, he leans in and kisses Kaveh’s mouth as delicately as he can manage.]

I'm not. It's fine if you don't believe me.

[ He knows how true it is regardless. Other people could have offered help, sure, but Kaveh knows he wouldn't have been able to hold himself together like this with anyone else. If anything, he would've done everything in his power to gather all the pictures himself and then he might've just packed up and left without a word. The sheer humiliation and betrayal of it could have easily led to that without Alhaitham serving as his rock.

His mention of a kiss doesn't earn an immediate response, but the arm loosening around his waist almost seems like one. There's a part of him that expects Alhaitham to step back, to pull away from him with a gentle denial, and Kaveh pauses in his slicing as he closes his eyes for a few seconds, trying to decide what he's supposed to say when it comes.

But, instead of the two of them parting, he feels the hand at his own and he easily lets go of the knife, eyes opening again in time to meet Alhaitham's eyes as his chin is cupped. The previous expectation leaves him almost confused until he dips in and their mouths meet, the kiss seeming to break the stillness that he's been in.

It doesn't take much shifting to turn and fully face Alhaitham. And even if the act breaks the kiss for a moment, Kaveh sees to it that their lips meet again shortly after, his arms slipping around the scribe's neck as he pulls him into a firmer kiss. ]

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