1. You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
2. last night I got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous. You're going to love nyc.
3. And that's when I went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. The doctor said it was the best injury he'd seen all month. I am a champion of life.
4. Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Peter Parker 🕸 tasm/mcu
2. last night I got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous. You're going to love nyc.
3. And that's when I went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. The doctor said it was the best injury he'd seen all month. I am a champion of life.
4. Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
5. [ Text Him ]