bakerstreet | Pick Up Line

Pick Up Line

The [Horrible] Pick Up Line Meme So there's that guy/girl/whatever you've been eyeing this entire time. And now you've finally gotten the courage to go up to them and actually talk like a normal person instead of being a huge creeper. However, all you can think of are pick up lines. Horrible ones at that. Good luck with that, buddy, 'cause you're on your own.

how to do

Post with a character putting name and fandom in the subject
Hit up other people's characters with horrible pick up lines ("Is that a gun in your pants or are you just happy to see me?", etc)
Character reactions can be either:
- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON??????
- /equally horrible pick up line
or whatever the player feels up to doing.
If you are out of ideas check this site out
All else fails, JUST HAVE FUN.

Originally by

mememaker

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey, I'd like to "finish you."

Karl Marx once said, from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs, and I have some needs that are just right for your abilities.

Oh, that one is a deep cut. Although, isn't that a little too dry a subject for a pick-up line?

I didn't think humans found economics sexy, usually.

Honestly, it goes over real well in certain circles, where the overlap between communist sympathies and having a sense of humor is just right.

Hm, I'll have to make a note of that. Just in case a communist convention comes by.

I don't lack sympathies for such economic models. I have my concerns for how implementation have been attempted in the past, but something similar to it seems like the best way to maximize happiness for the most people.

If a communist convention comes by, you'll probably want to prepare more for in-fighting than pick-up lines.

And yeah, implementation is always where things tend to go awry. Usually because the people with all the power in implementing it are just as bad as the capitalists they're overthrowing.

I'm quite proficient at helping people relax.

That does sound like what I've read about, yes. Revolutions, in general, can be quite catastrophic if the wrong people take power.

Admittedly, my knowledge of history is a lot more lacking than my knowledge of service.

Speaking of, could I indulge you with a nice blood cocktail? Maybe a "really" bloody Mary?

Before you ask, my hotel runs a very successful blood drive and I skim a little off the top in case I get any vampiric clientele.

I'm sure you are, though I doubt people in revolutions are prone to allowing other people to relax them. Being tense is kind of a prerequisite for getting all that revolting done.

And thank you, but I'm good with finding my own drinks.

Do I want to know what you skim off the top?

Oh, all I mean is I take a little bit of the blood for our storage to help our Vampiric clientele before it gets taken to the blood banks.

People are very inclined to be charitable when it means a robotic sex-worker will be ever so thankful for their donation.

[Pip slowly presses her hand to her mouth, like someone who has watched the downhill cheese chasing competition end in expected disaster and heartache, and then shakes her head.]

On the spectrum from Stoker Dracula to Pepsi Dracula, I actually do vastly prefer Pepsi Dracula energy, which is what you are giving me right now.

[ Meanwhile, Birdie looks entirely and unpoetically confused. ]

What's a Pepsi Dracula?

[Pip shuffles her normal deck, then plucks a completely not-normal card out of it and hands it over. It looks like this.] Back in the 90s you couldn't just buy a soft drink. They had to make it weird. I always assumed it was something to do with your secret society, but maybe 'humans' is a better answer.

[ There are gears turning now, Pip. Birdie didn't buy soda in the 90's so this flew entirely past her radar. Those song choices are impeccable, though, for being a corporate marketing strategy. ]

No offense, but I can't tell if this is insulting or not.

[The most adroit corporate robot appears like a person! Like the Wendys twitter account!]

It wasn't intended to be, but that doesn't mean it can't be. I always take a lot of comfort from horror movies, like ...the feeling of being indoors when it's raining outside. Being around monsters feels safer than being around mortal people.

Oh!

[ That's actually very sweet, considering how godawful that line was. ] Oh, okay. Good. I was worried you were implying I was secretly a corporate shill or something, and that would've been really sad for me.

Oh I see how you got there. [Pip puts a gentle hand onto Birdie's hand.] I spent so much time staring off into space that I actually suck at communication unless it's explicitly within the domain of fortune telling. Like actually suck suck. I'm sorry if I upset you.

[ Is Birdie allowed to hold Pip's hand at this stage of vampire-changeling diplomacy? Because she is now. Rebellious. ] Mostly I was just confused. It's a terrible line, but usually the reactions are... Not giving me a Pepsi Dracula.

You keep it though. Please. As a sign of how bad we apparently both are at this. [Pip lifts Birdie's hand to her mouth and gives the back of her knuckles a gentle kiss.] I do think of you as more than just a vampire, though. You've got a really strong personality.

Thank you. I'll put it in my guitar case. [ She's seen Pip without her mask, so there is an inkling of wondering how much of that kiss was lips or just skeleteeth. Not that either bothers her, she's into it regardless. ] So do you. And an enviable patience for Marx jokes, which I can promise to not make you suffer through more than is absolutely necessary.

Want to try to make me blue screen, honey?

Edited 2023-08-14 14:05 (UTC)

So I heard you like bad boys. Well, I'm bad at everything.

Either you're feeling terribly depressed, or unbelievably modest.

But you're right, I do have a thing for bad boys.

More like brutally honest. It's not that my skills are lacking, just that my success rate seems to be abysmal. I think I might be the god of petty failure.

[But at least he has a sense of humor about it, right?]

Well if it's worth anything, you've successfully attained my attention.

If you don't mind me asking, what are some of these skills of yours?

Aha! So either my hit rate is improving or you're about to be a dangerously terrible influence on me. [Actually, that might be a win-win. Time will tell.]

Among my skills are lies, stories, pranks, shapeshifting, and taking note of people who look like their interests align with mine. Well met. My name is Loki.

Those are quite a set of skills. I wouldn't mind hearing a story or two of your pranks.

Shapeshifting is also one of my skills, but I don't use it too often.

Pleasure to meet you, Loki. I'm Aziraphale.

[When Loki tosses out pickup lines, especially bad ones, he's more likely to be trying to annoy someone than get them into his bed. In this instance, he was curious, because this person is clearly not human, nor are they Asgardian, and anything unfamiliar to Loki must be investigated as a possible source of entertainment. Hearing he's met up with another shapeshifter prompts a look of genuine pleasure. Jackpot? Maybe? Perhaps they can be friends after all. With or without benefits.]

Oh, do tell? It's an ability innate to my species, but I've built upon it with magic. I'm always happy to compare notes.

Well met, Aziraphale. [And Loki is not super familiar with the Judeo-Christian religious hierarchy, but that does sound like an angelic name. He'll politely refrain from asking, for now.] Should I offer to buy you a drink?

( Aziraphale recognizes a god when he sees one, even if they are from another echelon other than his own. He has heard stories of the Norse pantheons, but until now, has never strayed far enough from his own Hell, or Earth, to actually meet any of the Aesir or Vanir. Remaining somewhat oblivious seemed a good way to go, for the moment. )

Innate to your species? I suppose that's one aspect that we have in common, then. I was also created with the ability to wield magic. ( It was more known to him as his 'demonic miracles', but he didn't want to mention that just yet. Magic sufficed just as well. )

I wouldn't turn down a glass of red wine, or even a pale ale, should they be offered.

[It's not hard to sense another being's energy aura, usually. That there is something supernatural to his new acquaintance is obvious to Loki, but classifying what that something is, is trickier. But maybe a chat over a glass of wine will clarify things.]

Interesting you should put it that way. 'Created with', not 'born with'. [He gives him an arch look, inviting further comment as he beckons and leads the way to a table in the corner of the room where they can have a more private conversation. Once an attendant takes notice, they can order a drink on Loki's dime.]

If we were on my home turf, I'd offer you a Vanaheim mead, but alas, we'll have to stick with human-made beverages.

Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.

...

Where did that come from, oh my god!

[Eyes widen in surprise. She's just going to cover her mouth now, ktnxbai.

Or hit her up!]

Are you meat? Because I want to eat you.

ooc; ignore this cheesiness, it just suddenly popped into my head and I couldn't resist.

Where's the 'like' button for that smile?

[He could do waaaaay worse and cheesier.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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